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The doghouse

If you're worried about your pet's health, please speak to a vet or qualified professional.

When is the best time to have our old dog out to sleep?

49 replies

AdditionalCharacter · 29/10/2023 16:43

DH and I are in two different frames of mind.

Dog is nearly 11, she is a big breed dog. She's urine incontinent (on medication to reduce this), going blind because of cataracts, and can't go very far on walks. Her body is covered in lumps, so far none are malignant and she sometimes struggles to get up quickly if she needs to. I'm not sure if she has doggy Alzheimer's as she wanders around, coming and going into certain rooms as if she's forgot where she is. She does have moments where she runs and jumps and plays, these are getting less as the weeks go on.

Last year she wasn't well and thought it was time, but she got a new zest for life for a bit, and has again started to decline.

I want to have her put to sleep before the year is out, I think it is kinder for her to go while she isn't suffering too much. DH wants to keep her around for as long as possible.

Spoke to vet who wasn't very helpful, think he was trying to give pros and cons for us both, but failed.

OP posts:
brentwoods · 29/10/2023 22:20

AdditionalCharacter · 29/10/2023 16:57

When I say moaning, it's not a whine or painful one, more akin to when old people sit down or stand up if that makes sense. I'd hate to think it was pain and I've been ignoring it ☹️

Our old boy started doing this and I think it is discomfort. When I started him on a joint supplement at the vet's advice I noticed a few weeks later that he doesn't do it anymore.

Mazza7412 · 29/10/2023 22:34

I was in exactly your situation a couple of years ago. My 16 year old Jack Russell became double incontinent , was on medication to help. We think dementia as seemed a bit lost! She still ate ok, but had started to refuse going for walk due to arthritis. Was sleeping 80% of the day. My husband and I disagreed too. I knew we needed to make the decision and it was time to let her go, he wanted to let her carry on. My vet wouldn’t advise and just kept offering additional medication. In the end the incontinence was terrible and she wet herself whilst asleep etc. we tried nappies etc and she ripped them off.

we had her PTS.
we were absolutely heartbroken, but I know it was the right thing to do. With hindsight, should of done it before
due to not being able to get a vet appointment for my car I went to a different vets and had explained what had happened with the dog
she said she would always advise to let them go when they become incontinent if elderly as dogs find it very distressing. I feel my dog didn’t have a quality of life and I found it very hard seeing her a shell of herself.
such a hard decision
you’ll know when the time is right

NotmySundaybest · 31/10/2023 10:20

Same problem here.
Elderly big girl. Doesn't want walks. Very poor eyesight, hearing, gets confused easily.
Just seems to sleep all day. Wake up for food, goes outside poo's back then back in. Sometimes poo's indoors too.
This weekend she's developed a large abscess/lump behind her ear.

NotmySundaybest · 31/10/2023 10:22

But then sometimes she perks up. It's hard.

Coastalcreeksider · 31/10/2023 10:25

Whitegrenache · 29/10/2023 17:02

This was us 2 weeks ago. We agonised for weeks as as a family as to when to make the decision, as our ddog was still having some moments of happiness but largely spend his time sleeping and farting! He had arthritis and was struggling to get up and down and had also soiled in the house a few times. We made the decision as a family (2teens) and the vet came to our home and gave him a sedative and he fell asleep in my arms then the injection worked within seconds. It was so peaceful.

It was totally the right decision for us.

Remember rather a month early than a day too late.

I did this just over a month ago for my cat.

A vet came out and sedated him then put to sleep. It was so calm and the cat wasn't at all stressed which he would have been if I'd taken him to our vet surgery.

It's not cheap to do it that way but was worth every penny for him to go at home and with everything familiar to him and me with him.

Beamur · 31/10/2023 10:30

With our old dog the vet recommended we look for a quality of life index HHHHHMM online as it helps to objectively score your pet.
It's a useful tool to track change or make decisions.
It's easy to miss the incremental change yourself as it's gradual.

Xmasbabyxmas · 31/10/2023 10:54

I'm so sorry you're faced with this decision. Sounds similar to our late greyhound, also 11. It was sort of taken out of our hands as the incontinence got too bad to manage rather suddenly and we have small children so had that to consider too. We still felt incredibly guilty for weeks afterwards but i think in a way the guilt is inevitable however it ends because you just love them so much. Go easy on yourself whatever you decide x

Crikeyalmighty · 31/10/2023 11:10

@DiaNaranja I won't have a dog too for the same reasons. We had to have a cat PTS many yearsago and I was in bits.

We do Borrow my doggy though and look after some rather lovely 2 and 3 year old cock a poos and retrievers when their owners are on holiday

Peachpicklepie · 31/10/2023 11:19

They need to be living, not just existing. I would say that there's more you can do for your dog to improve her quality of life - pain meds for her aches (which is why she is sighing when getting up and down) may give her a new lease of life. My vet and I have decided to throw everything we can at my 16 year old collie - the medication will knacker her kidneys long term but she doesn't have long term anyway, and the meds mean she can still do stairs and enjoy a walk in the woods. She's also on propalin for bladder weakness (she still wants to wee outside and doesn't know she's leaking - if she was senile that would be different again). I'd up the pain meds and see how she is before deciding.

Isheabastard · 31/10/2023 12:27

Same as everybody else is saying better too early than too late.

If your dog is grunting getting up, then I’d suggest pain meds. My old girl was on metacam/tramadol.

Agree with lots of advice here. I learnt how to do doggy massage, and I really think it helped her arthritis, plus she loved it. I learnt from you tube.

Id always planned on getting the vet to come to our home to PTS. I felt this was the last thing we could do so she didn’t have the stress of going to the vets.

As it turned out, she went downhill quickly and by Monday morning we knew it was time. The vet came out very quickly. My Dd came home as well to be with her.

I spent the last hour of her life giving her doggy massage around her hips and back. Even though she was laying down every time I stopped, she would look back over her shoulder at me as if to say “why have you stopped, I was enjoying that”

One last thing which I think is probably the most important. Check your vets out of hours emergency service. Our wasn’t great, so I was lucky it happened Monday morning.

But ideally you need a service at best will come to you out of hours (probably unlikely), but the emergency vet for your practice might be a long way from your local vet, so you have to take an extended ride with a sick dog.

In hindsight, I think a checkin on the life assessment chart is worth doing just before the weekend. So if the vet is likely to be needed, do it before the weekend. It’s not a case of saving money, it’s about not prolonging the suffering.

It’s also worth discussing what you want to do with the body after. My dog was a big breed so we thought it better to do cremation.

However that meant the vet taking her away almost immediately after being PTS. When I went to the vets later to pay, I asked to see her again, but they said I needed to make an appointment to arrange this. I don’t know why but that left a bad feeling in me.

AdditionalCharacter · 07/02/2024 13:53

Just coming back to update this.

My lovely lady was put to sleep yesterday, it was definitely the right time for her. I stayed with her until the end, cradled her head and talked about her favourite ham sandwiches with her.

My eyes are very swollen from all the crying I've done, but I know I made the right decision at the right time, and she is no longer suffering.

OP posts:
Lizzieregina · 07/02/2024 14:37

@AdditionalCharacter I’m so very sorry for your loss. My eyes are welling up thinking of your sorrow and my own when I said goodbye to my lovely boy. She will be missed 💔

Frenchfemme · 07/02/2024 16:19

So sorry for the loss of your loved and lovely dog. Although it hurts, you have performed the last act of love for her. Thinking of you.

Justkeepingplatesspinning · 07/02/2024 18:02

So sorry to hear your wee doggie has gone to Rainbow Bridge. What a lovely way to go, being cuddled and dreaming of ham sandwiches. Lots of love and thoughts.

AdditionalCharacter · 07/02/2024 19:45

Thank you all for your kind words.

Shenhated going out in the car, would cry as soon as it started moving. She didn't do that yesterday, it was as if she knew.

OP posts:
DawnBreaks · 07/02/2024 20:05

I remember reading this thread last year as I was going through the same stuff. We had our old boy PTS at the beginning of December. It's a horrible thing for us to go through, but the kindest thing for our dogs. Sending hugs to you. 🤗

OldSpeclkledHen · 07/02/2024 20:55

I'm so so sorry ❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹

Thesehills · 08/02/2024 07:19

The greatest act of love is to let our beloved animals leave this life well and with dignity.

I'm so sorry.

Passmethegin67 · 08/02/2024 11:31

So sorry. Be kind to yourself, remember the good times, smile at the quirks they had and take time to grieve.

stockpilingallthecheese · 08/02/2024 21:17

I'm so sorry for your loss. My lovely girl was also PTS on Tuesday so I really understand what you're going through right now, and no matter how much you know you've done the right thing it still bloody hurts. Flowers

Helplessandheartbroke · 08/02/2024 21:30

Sorry for your loss op. I was there 7.5 weeks ago and it still hurts. Let yourself grieve. We have a support thread if you'd like to join x

Dapbag · 08/02/2024 21:38

I'm so sorry for your loss. It's so painful. You did the right thing by her to the very end and I hope that will be some comfort to you.

AdditionalCharacter · 12/02/2024 20:57

If you could link it @Helplessandheartbroke, that would be great.

Thank you everyone again for your supportive comments.

OP posts:
Helplessandheartbroke · 12/02/2024 21:21

@AdditionalCharacter I'm so sorry I'm not sure how to. It's in the doghouse board under heartache after saying goodbye support thread x

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