I need some help and perspective with what to do with our dog.
He is six, we got him from a rescue charity three years ago. It was during covid and shortly after getting him we realised his behaviour was much worse than had been described to us. He had not been properly assessed and we think his previous owners downplayed his behaviour issues because they wanted him to be rehomed quickly. He had been in kennels several times and been placed in four different homes for varying amounts of time before coming to us. Sadly he never managed to settle in any of these homes due to his boisterous/anxious/excited behaviour. He is a large dog and very wilful.
The first year with him was difficult. He was extremely stimulated by everything that happened around him and never switched off. We spent a lot of time, money and effort on trainers and training getting him to a point where he can now be walked off lead, is reasonably friendly with other dogs and when it is just us in the house he will relax.
However, if anything changes (we go somewhere new for a walk, anyone comes to the house, we try to do some gardening) this triggers him to whining, barking, grabbing things we are trying to use, attacking inanimate objects. He is better with my boyfriend but still quite unmanageable at times. We have tried lots to normalise things but nothing seems to work.
When we first had him he would snap at us a lot and bare his teeth, if we asked him to do something he didn’t want to do. This has reduced a lot but not completely.
Last year I became pregnant and we now have a six month old daughter.
While I was in late pregnancy the dog bit me when I asked him to come in from the garden. I approached him and he snapped at my hands and bit me. He broke skin and although it was not a bad bite he definitely meant it. I did not tell my boyfriend about this.
Six months on he still hasn’t adjusted to my daughter. He is overexcited when she is around, every noise she makes he rushes over and is always pushing boundaries to get close to her. He still has two long walks a day and I try to give him lots of attention when she is napping or asleep in the evening. He will often whine and bark at me when I am nursing so now I have stopped nursing around him.
A week ago he bit my boyfriend piercing the skin and held his hand in his mouth for quite a while before eventually letting go.
My boyfriend thinks that he needs to be rehomed or PTS.
In principle I agree. I am constantly worried about him getting close to my daughter and having one of his anxious moments and snapping at her, or snapping at one of us and her getting in the way. I don’t know how we’re going to manage when my daughter is walking and crawling.
We really have tried lots to reduce these behaviours and seen trainers etc but he is a high drive large breed shepherd and I sadly think his early years cannot be undone.
If it was just us then he would be manageable and I would work through it, but with the child in the house I just don’t know what the right thing to do is. I would feel so desperately guilty if he were to snap or bite my daughter, and sometimes just feel that I’m waiting for something bad to happen.
At the same time, he can be a lovely sweet affectionate dog. We have built such a bond and in his calm moments I feel so sad that I would even contemplate having him rehomed or PTS.
Equally, when he is screaming and barking simply because someone came round for a cup of tea, and these recent biting incidents, I think that it’s not the right environment for a child.
I don’t know if he would adapt to being rehomed at all. Given all the homes that didn’t work out, and how long it took him to settle with us, part of me thinks it would be kinder to just take him for a lovely long walk then have him PTS. I would hate to rehome him and it not work out and for him to be anxious and stressed.
So, I suppose I’m just asking ‘what would you do?’ As I feel I cannot ask anyone in real life for fear of judgement. I want to do the right thing by the dog and by my daughter and I just don’t know what that is.