13 week old puppy not sleeping at night

[Mypuppywontsleep]

username doesn’t explain the levels of tired we are experiencing.

13wo female cockerpoo with separation anxiety. We have tried wearing her out with puzzles, play, exercise, mental agility. She’s healthy, eats fairly well, no toilet issues. We have tried variations of low soft music, white noise, darkness, a night light, clothes that smell of us - everything!

We have a crate which she likes, goes into of her own accord and if you are in the room and close the crate door she will settle down. She has her own area at night for sleeping.

If you leave the room whilst she is in or out of the crate she will cry and whine over and over for hours. We have tried leaving her, tried going back, tried sitting silently afar from her, tried putting inside the crate or inside a larger pen with crate door open. We have tried different beddings, taking her to the toilet everything. She just cries and barks relentlessly.

Last night she would not settle till 4am and was back up at 6am. She must be SO tired. We tried ignoring her but she did not get fed up with crying and got louder.

We are at our wits end. She is such a lovely pup, I think we are both a bit soft and hate hearing her cry but not giving in and bringing her into the bedroom as we decided no dogs in bedrooms. Our previous dog hogged the bed and we didn’t get any sleep that way either!

Help!

Put the crate in your room. Later on you can gradually move it out if you like but for now she needs to be near you.

DH is refusing to do this and wants to persevere with crate training in another room. I would have given in 3 weeks ago if it was just me

Cockapoos are nuts. Sorry @Mypuppywontsleep .

She is nuts. DH wanted a cockerpoo, I wanted another terrier. I have to say though she is so affectionate and intelligent. She learns really fast (just not sleeping). She’s lovely natured and doesn’t have much fear or nervousness she’s super curious and bold which is good

Then you’ll have to put up with her crying and being unsettled. Unless one of you sleeps downstairs with her, that’s the other option.

This is not ‘separation anxiety’. She is a baby that has been taken away from her mother and siblings and she needs the comfort of being with her new family. Leaving her to cry it out is damaging for her confidence and your relationship with her and could lead to true separation anxiety.

Can you put an item of clothing you or your DH has worn, in the crate with her.

We slept next to the crate for weeks. We never brought it up and slept on a cot mattress on the floor. Putting a blanket over the crate was a game changer.

I feel the sleep deprivation thing, I remember sobbing asking DH to take one of my turns as I was so tired.

We now have a very independent and lazy dog so in hindsight it was 100% worth it, but I’m not sure I would’ve believed it at the time!

We took it in turns sleeping on the sofa next to the crate for about 8 weeks after getting our cockapoo.

Might even have been longer.

Yeah I am worried about it creating a bigger problem to leave her. I get up and sleep next to her quite often.

I did get DH to put the crate in our room one night she slept all night 😑but now he went back to the kitchen cos he had 1 success. I’m going to tell him she needs to be in the bedroom in the crate

Get the Easy Peasy Puppy Squeezy book and follow it.

Cocker Spaniel pawrent here! Your puppy is lonely. She needs to be near her new pack.
Ours sleeps in her crate in the bedroom. She also likes calming music. If she gets over excited in the day whilst I'm trying to work a Youtube dog music selection soon calms her.

I did get DH to put the crate in our room one night she slept all night

Well there you go, you already know the answer.

The problem is with your husband refusing to have the crate in your room despite the fact that it worked.

Put husband in the crate and puppy in bed with you 😂

No best thing is to just override your dh and put her in your room. 13 weeks is nothing and it doesn’t mean she’s going to have to be there forever. As she gets bigger and more confidant you’ll be able to move her back downstairs.

He took this as a sign the crate was working.

I am getting fed up with him but it doesn’t help I was the one who let the previous dog sleep in the bed so this is his ‘turn’ now to try to sleep train a dog
I don’t mind sleeping with a dog

Well he’s tried his way and failed miserably. Now it’s your turn.

Our miniature poodle settled straight away and loved her crate. We gave her a teddy bear, a blanket from her mum and an electric blanket. She was downstairs in the kitchen from day one. She’s amazingly calm and settled.

I honestly think that something goes a bit haywire when you cross poodles with spaniels.

Your DH is the problem here.

Either one of you needs to sleep with her every night, or she needs to come and sleep with you. If DH isn't happy, I'd suggest the dog comes in your room and he goes to sleep on the sofa

Yes do this, or sleep on the sofa but having her with yph will help with sleep I mean you will still need to get up for the toilet but she will learn to relax.

Normal. She's going to need someone with her for months yet then build up alone time slowly. You've got a mix of two companion breeds so they do need extra confidence building at being alone which won't be for months yet.

Our pup (now 12 months) still sleeps with us, in her open crate. She sleeps until we get up now and has always slept really well. Puppies are hard enough without losing sleep. We'll move her out when she is mature enough to choose her own space (oh and when she's learnt the cat doesn't want to play with her).

I’m aware now he has completely unrealistic expectations of our puppy. His parents never let their dogs upstairs but they did not have mad bonkers breeds, or they were not puppies when they got them. He is getting cross with her barking and crying and telling her off and I keep telling him she is just a baby, don’t be unfair to her she doesn’t understand it.

Our previous dog was completely fine being left alone in the day but wanted to sleep with humans so I let him and it annoyed DH as dog took up space in the bed. I’ve tried to talk to DH today I agree not inside the bed but in the room, but his sleep deprivation is making him more stubborn to listening to me.

He told me that she was making progress so we should keep going. The progress was that she was crying a lot but did fall asleep eventually, but still woke up every 2-3 hours. Now she has decided sleeping alone is not for her. We slept with her almost all night on the FLOOR the first few nights now he’s moving too fast to her being alone I think. Thanks for the advice I will keep working on him

Your husband is an arse op. Why does he think it’s acceptable to leave a baby upset and crying for hours?? And why are you agreeing with him? Don’t “work” on him. Tell him, just like he’s been telling you.

I’m not agreeing with him, I’m trying to get him to see my view point but the issue is, he disagrees with my previous method of co sleeping and is trying to achieve something specific to get the puppy used to sleeping alone and I understand his goal, it’s just not working and it’s not realistic. She’s too young. I’ve told him I am unhappy about it. She’s coming into the room tonight. If she sleeps well then hopefully he will cave in

What really pissed me off is I went out earlier and he fell asleep with her ON OUR BED. So why is the daytime ok?

Would you try in the hall outside your bedroom?

We got one of these - heartbeat toy which totally soothed our puppy. Yours is older so may not work as well but maybe worth a try