To rehome?

[wiemermama]

Hi all,

I'm in a really tricky emotional quandary. I have a beautiful 3 year old dog, large breed. She is the most loving pooch and adores everyone she meets. Ive loved the bones of her since we got her as a pup.

Whilst she's amazing with people. She has reactivity to some of dogs but is ok once properly introduced (although you can't do that on walks with strangers). We've had multiple trainers who have been of little help. Including a behaviourist who was extortionate and useless. She is a bouncy, overly excited dog and often doesn't realise quite how big she is.

Unfortunately, due to financial circumstances We've had to downsize to a small 2 up, 2 down with a tiny garden which offers little space for all of us. On top of this, we have a newborn. DDog has so far been really great with the baby but all the other issues still persist. I can't walk DDog at the same time as pushing the pram as chances are that she'll pull us over if she sees a dog she's not a fan of. Daily life is so hard trying to make sure that baby and dog are kept separate when i need to do anything in the house. Finances won't allow for doggy daycare and im worried she's not getting enough mental stimulation.

We have no option but to stay in this property at the moment and I'm wondering whether she would be better off in another home. I can't believe im actually typing this as I love her so much but I can't help feeling that im letting her down and she's not getting the life she deserves.

Grateful for any thoughts and hopefully a sympathetic ear.

I knew there would either be a pregnancy or new baby when I started reading. Look after and take responsibility for the dog you took on is my advice.

Yes, thanks for your comment and I would probably say the same to someone who had written this post. I genuinely just want the best for all of us and I want DDog to have the most fulfilling life she can.

You need to take the dog for a run every morning before your husband starts work and again when he gets home. Your dog needs at least 2 hours of off lead exercise, as well as plenty of toys in the house. Unless your dog is showing signs of aggression towards the baby then you need to try these things before you rehome and it doesn’t sound like the efforts been made yet. A cage muzzle is also needed.

The newborn stage is fairly short, once you’re more on an even keel you just walk the dog without the baby - early mornings and/or evenings when it’s not just you about.

As for not leaving them alone, in what way is it hard? What are the logistics that you’re struggling with I mean? Because I just called the dog to come with me if I was leaving a room.

Baby in sling while you are walking the dog.

I wouldn’t do that with a reactive dog tbh.

Realistically is she likely to find a new home? She's a big dog who doesn't sound well trained and is reactive with other dogs.

Your baby will only be a baby for a very short while can you manage her with a toddler in tow?

Honestly it should be perfectly possible for her to be getting a decent walk in the morning and evening between 2 of you and some mental stimulation games even in a small garden whilst baby naps shouldn't be too difficult.

Yes, thanks for your comment and I would probably say the same to someone who had written this post. I genuinely just want the best for all of us and I want DDog to have the most fulfilling life she can.

Then do that without abandoning her. You’re what she knows. Don’t dump her because things get a bit hard.

Can't believe neither you or your husband can't find time in the day to take your dog out.
A dog should be for life, not until a baby comes along and becomes an inconvenience.
If you sign the dog over to rescue, it will languish in kennels for months with the issues it has added to size. Is that what you want for it?

Thanks for the suggestions, I'm probably catastrophizing the situation in the newborn haze. Sling is a good idea, I'll definitely try that. I'd feel bad about a cage muzzle, is that something people use in the house?

Obviously that is not what I want at all! I was looking for some practical suggestions that will help my situation. Which I've had.. from other posters

If you have the time to spend some time doing things with your dog that will fulfil her genetic drives, that can help enormously with behaviour. I'm guessing from your user name that she's a gundog breed, in which case retrieving and scent work can challenge her brain and chill her out. That might be enough.

OTOH, if you really feel you cannot cope, I would suggest seeing if you can re-home via a breed-specific rescue.

Your ddog loves you. She may not be the same ddog after the trauma of being rehomed. 6 months time you will have more time for her. Wait it out imo.

I really feel for you, but rescues are bursting at the seams at the moment, so the chances of finding a good home for a large reactive dog are slim. If she's a staffing or similar practically zero.

The size of your house isn't an issue if the dog is exercised enough.
As others have said, you or your partner need to get her out for a good walk twice a day, even if that means one of you going out at 6am and then again in the evening. I'd then feed all meals in a more enriching way than a bowl. There's an excellent canine enrichment group on Facebook with loads of ideas.

In terms of not leaving them alone, get dog to follow your when you leave the room, wear baby in a sling when needed and have a baby gate you can pop dog behind if needed.

None of the suggestions are rocket science. Looks to me like you just want to take the easy option and pass on.

I have skin in the game, I kennel rescue dogs for a charity. If they aren't small and fluffy, they hang around for months and these are dogs who are straight forward and friendly. The reactive dogs have been here for 6 months and more.

Why can't your DH take her out for a big walk in the morning so she isn't as excitable in the home with the baby? Why is it on you, with baby and pram, to exercise her properly? Then you take her for a walk in evenings when he bonds with baby and you get a break (or even comes with you). Genuine question btw, not intending to be snarky.

It always baffles me why people get dogs when they are planning to or are likely to have a baby soon afterwards. Anyway, what's done is done.

It's not the dog's reactivity that's the problem, it's that you cannot make time nor space for her needs. "Loving the bones of her" isn't enough, you need to be able to care for her. I actually think you would be better off trying to rehome her.

Currently you have a newborn, you can push around a pram and carry in a sling. Pretty soon you will have a toddler who will be grabbing the dogs fur, pulling its tail, bashing into it. And from the sound it it you no longer have the space for the dog to escape to. The poor dog will not have a moments peace. Try to find her a more appropriate home so she can relax.

If there is a way that I can keep her, where she is happy and content, where I am not completely stressed and where baby is safe then yes I will try anything. I am absolutely not looking for an easy way out. I appreciate you see many dogs being rehomed 'just because' but that is not the case here.

Thanks for all the ideas. I am obviously a very tired, hormonal and worried person at the moment and I just want the best for all of us.

One of you will need to give her a good walk in the morning and then another in the evening obviously 🤷🏼‍♀️
If necessary go out at 6am and 8pm for an hour each time while one of you looks after the baby. In the winter use a good torch or a head torch.
It’s what many, many of us do if necessary.

You’ll be overwhelmed and tired just now, not really the best time for critical thinking.

But dogs aren’t really fussed about house size, you’re really only looking at a short period of time with less walks and you get used to taking a dog to the toilet with you pretty quickly, give it about 18 months and you’ll be leaving the dog in her bed because a toddler is coming to watch you pee instead anyway 😐😂

Your other half will need to pull his weight and get up earlier to take dog out first thing. You can also take baby out in a sling rather than the pram during the day.

I gave a 6 month old baby and we manage this way.

If it a gun dog then gundog classes or scent training at the weekend can be good for mental stimulation.

I am obviously a very tired, hormonal and worried person at the moment and I just want the best for all of us.

Dont do yourself down. I'm asking again. What is DHs contribution to the solution. Is he giving her a good, tiring walk every morning?

Just get rid of it. Baby comes first. Animals are below us for a reason.

I'm currently in this stage, (5 medium/large dogs and 2 DC under 3yrs), so I understand your situation.

I'm curious why you feel all the training advice you've been given is "useless". Did you take any notes or get a summary of their advice you can refer back to? (As a dog trainer myself, part of the advice I give regarding reactivity is that it is a slow and delicate game, certainly not a quick fix and something you need to be fully focused on when out walking).

Online free resources for dog training that are very useful are Kiko Pup (I'd focus on the calm settle which is both an indoor and outdoor skill) and Spirit Dog Training. They both have free content on YouTube.

Good luck!

OP I work in rescue and large breeds are harder to rehome never mind reactive ones.
There's no need to think the worst,stair gates on doorways if needed, sling for baby you do not need to muzzle your dog in the house, I think you're overthinking.
Your dog would rather be with you in a small house than alone in a kennel for months/years.
Can either you or your DP get out for a good walk before they head to work and same in evening?
If you have a garden and its secure your dog will be happy pottering if she's had a good walk.