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The doghouse

If you're worried about your pet's health, please speak to a vet or qualified professional.

Original poster

Dd wants to come to vets

35 replies

CombatBarbie · 03/05/2023 10:29

My beautiful baby is being PTS today after being diagnosed with cancer a few weeks ago. He was 8 weeks and my Dd 18 months so they have grown up together. He sleeps with her etc. She is now nearly 12 and adament she wants to come to the vets.

I don't know what to do, part of me thinks no it will be too much, the other says yes as shes so distraught and wants to be with him til the end.

Give me the brutal opinions, my head is all over the place. DDog is my shadow and my heart is being ripped out so I know I'm not thinking rationally.

OP posts:
Plottingspringescape · 03/05/2023 10:32

I would absolutely let her come. I was there when various pets were put down as a child and they are not traumatic memories. Part of having pets js making the hard decisions and being there for them.

wetotter · 03/05/2023 10:37

Yes, I would let her go. She wants to, she will cope and you'll grieve together.

And you say he sleeps with her - she wants to see him off to sleep this last time. It's the last loving thing she can do for him

YouveGotToGrooveIt · 03/05/2023 10:39

Let her come.

I went with a dog to be PTS at that age and it was actually reassuring too see how peaceful and calm it was. Much better than the dog that was PTS a couple years earlier and I just woke in the morning to find him gone.

FeelinSpendy · 03/05/2023 10:48

She’s old enough to go with you. It’ll be a devastating event for both of you but may bring her comfort knowing she was there with DDog at the end. She’ll always remember that she was there for him.

lorisparkle · 03/05/2023 10:54

My ds all went to the vets when our cats were being PTS. They then chose whether they said goodbye in the waiting room and waited with me or went in with DH to say goodbye then. At 12 they are definitely old enough to make the choice.

jackstini · 03/05/2023 10:56

100% let her come and say goodbye to a beloved pet who was such a big part of your lives

So sorry Flowers

Original poster
CombatBarbie · 03/05/2023 11:05

Suppose my only concern is how long it takes, he's a 60kg big breed and his heart is still so strong, the cancer is throat, lungs and liver. Only took him to vets as he was a bit wheezy.

Typically I made the decision yesterday afternoon as he hadn't eaten for 2 days, his breathing is getting more laboured and he's stopped following me around.

He's then wolfed his dinner and breakfast and had his routinely funny 5 mins in the garden!!

We are taking him to the secluded beach we go too beforehand, he loves it down there.

OP posts:
DiscoDragon · 03/05/2023 11:10

When I was a similar age I went with my stepdad to have our dog PTS, my mum couldn't face going and stepdad is a wimp who would have disappeared while it was happening and I didn't want my dog to die by himself without someone who loved him there with him. Of course it was heartbreaking but I've never once regretted being there for him.

Newpeep · 03/05/2023 11:18

It's quick. The vets are good. Ours was sedated as she was suffering, fell asleep and then the injection took her in seconds. There was some twitching and sighing afterwards but the vet explained it may happen and stayed until she was still.

It can be traumatic but it doesn't tend to be as long as the vet knows what they are doing. Ours put our dog to sleep standing behind me as he wanted me to be the last one she saw before she fell asleep. Our cat was pts at home which was lovely as she fell asleep in her favourite chair with us all there.

I was with my childhood pets when they were pts. It really helped me as an adult. My dad was an undertaker which is a whole other story so death was part of life for us growing up! My husband was not allowed to be with their pets and he really struggles when we have to let ours go.

FartSock5000 · 03/05/2023 11:20

@CombatBarbie If you do take her to the vets, leave her in waiting room.

My beloved dog didn't go easily and it has traumatised us. She fought the needle, reacted poorly to the meds and struggled until she went to sleep. It wasn't easy to see and I would give anything to rewind time and not see her go so badly. She was a chihuahua BTW.

Let you DD say goodbye and cuddle in waiting room. You can tell her that too many people will make it stressful on the dog.

Original poster
CombatBarbie · 03/05/2023 11:21

Thank you @Newpeep that is reassuring. We had wanted it done at home, in his spot in front of the fire but we are rural and it's still lambing season so there's only one vet actually in the practice.

OP posts:
Summertimesunshineandfizz · 03/05/2023 11:24

Will your vet come to the house? I’ve done this when my two dogs had to be PTS. Nothing stops it being horrendous for you but for them they were at home, with us cuddling them and they literally did just go to sleep. No trip to the vets and we could grieve privately.

Summertimesunshineandfizz · 03/05/2023 11:24

So sorry. Cross posted. Apologies

SamShortForSambuca · 03/05/2023 16:47

Are you, by any chance, in an area covered by Cloud9? https://cloud9vets.co.uk/areas-we-cover/

Floralnomad · 03/05/2023 17:18

Our local pet crematorium has a couple of end of life vets that do home visits , we used them for my sisters dog and they were brilliant . Might be worth enquiring if you would prefer to do it at home . 💐

ilovesushi · 03/05/2023 21:35

So sorry you are saying goodbye to your dog today. I hope it all went okay. x

Qbish · 03/05/2023 21:37

Yes she must come. Our DC did at that age. We fed DDog treats on the table. And then, at the time, DC left the room and I held DDog. Let her say her goodbyes.

WhyDoesItAlways · 03/05/2023 21:50

I gave my 6 year old the choice to be there or not. My sister is the vet and she explained to him exactly what was going to happen and why so he could make a choice. He chose not to and didn't change his mind which is fine. I did doubt myself giving him the option at that age but actually watching my dog go so gently and peacefully I did think after that I would actually have been glad if that was his first experience of death. As we grow up we obviously learn about all sorts of ways that people and animals can die and not many of them are anywhere near as peaceful as the way my dog went and I think it would have been good for him to know that.

He still talks to her little box of ashes when he misses her which I think is very healthy too.

Soxford1 · 04/05/2023 13:44

Absolutely yes

CoachPiggyStardust · 04/05/2023 13:52

Definitely let her come. My kids have come to the vets twice to be there at the end and although it was awful they never regretted it.

Much worse was when our beloved goldie went to the vets so see why he had been limping badly on the walk and it turned out to be advanced cancer of the spleen and they let him go on the operating table. I hadn't even come to the vets as I had assumed it was just a sprain or something and the boys had gone to school saying goodbye to a 'healthy' dog and came out to find he had gone. It was just awful. Far better to be able to say goodbye.

Original poster
CombatBarbie · 04/05/2023 20:36

We took him to the beach and then to the vets. Vet explained what would happen to DD, she was heartbroken, as was I and DH.

He didn't put up a fight, just laid his head on DDs lap and went to sleep.

DD has since said she's glad she was there as she wasnt convinced when I said he will just go to sleep. I think she thought I was lying to her about the process.

OP posts:
TakeMyStrongHand · 04/05/2023 20:44

Absolutely take her. We had a similar when DD was quite a bit younger and yes it upset her but it was closure and she was part of it. He was around 60kg and also had cancer but of the bone. Rottweiler so very common. He was so tired at the end, it didn't take long at all. Was over in seconds. Possibly they used a stronger dose because DD was there as I remember it taking a few minutes the time before. No more than 5.

TakeMyStrongHand · 04/05/2023 20:46

Oh I'm so sorry, cross posted.

So sorry you've both gone through this. You made the right decision and made his last day very special.

Thoughts are with you as I remember how painful it is FlowersFlowersFlowers

Plottingspringescape · 05/05/2023 08:01

It sounds like a really peaceful end for him, and right that she was there. I hope you are all doing ok.

Beamur · 05/05/2023 08:06

Both times we've been in this position, the kids have come too.
My only concern would be if the procedure doesn't go smoothly. That would be worse.
I would consider the option of taking her, but for her to be in the waiting area while it's done but she can come and say goodbye afterwards?