Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

The doghouse

If you're worried about your pet's health, please speak to a vet or qualified professional.

Flip

1 2

Original poster

Collie + toddler

46 replies

Deut28 · 31/01/2023 23:16

I'm a non-dog owner, parent of a toddler looking for some advice. We have close relatives who get on brilliantly with my DC and they are keen to have DC to stay for a couple of days. This would be lovely for everyone involved, except that they have a lively collie.

Dog is about 2 or 3, doesn't live with children, strong herding instinct, and has been known to nip (definitely when a puppy, not sure about now). DC is too young to understand how to interact with a dog safely or reliably follow instructions. We've always kept DC entirely separate from the dog on shorter visits. The dog is very much 'their baby' and I'm just not sure I can rely on them to be hyper-vigilant over a day or two.

Are there any reasonable measures/rules I can ask for to be put in place for a weekend? Or am I best off just saying DC can't come to stay (at least not until they're older) if the dog is going to be there?

OP posts:

Yayyayitsaholiholiday · 31/01/2023 23:18

Dogs and toddlers don’t mix.
Particularly when the dog and toddler aren’t part of the same family (as nonsensical as that sounds - you know what I mean.)

PissedUpLightweightEmptyHeadedNooNoo · 31/01/2023 23:20

Not worth it.

I'm sure we're talking about a lovely toddler, and a lovely dog, but there is too much potential for something to go wrong imo. Wait until the little one is older.

Howeverdoyouneedme · 31/01/2023 23:21

If you don’t think you can trust them to ‘hyper vigilant’ with a dog that has strong herding tendencies and has been known to nip, then it’s a no surely? I don’t think I could ever relax under those circumstances.

CollieDug · 31/01/2023 23:24

As the owner of a (truly wonderful and super-soppy) collie I’d say no.

if the dog is not used to children then I think it’s way too risky.

I love my dog to bits, he just wants to be patted and cuddled and I’m 99.999% sure he wouldn’t hurt anyone ever but there is no way I’d ever leave him alone with a toddler. some dog owners do genuinely (but very mistakenly) believe their dog is incapable of aggression and if that applies to your friends then your child could be at risk.

so firm nope from me.

TheFlis12345 · 31/01/2023 23:28

Absolutely no way. Our dog is smaller than a collie and usually fine around kids but erratic toddler movement can sometimes spook him as he is not used to it, so we would never ever put him in that situation. It is virtually impossible to watch them every second and the risks are just too high.

Cuppasoupmonster · 31/01/2023 23:31

No, I wouldn’t. I wouldn’t even leave our dog and toddler with somebody who I didn’t trust to be completely vigilant with them.

pippapipps · 31/01/2023 23:33

Just simply no x

Alexandernevermind · 31/01/2023 23:36

No. I adore my dogs but wouldn't let them anywhere near toddlers.

Celinia · 31/01/2023 23:41

Best to avoid until your dc is older. Collies can be very reactive and may resort to nipping/herding.

Ihatethenewlook · 01/02/2023 00:01

As a working collie owner, it’s a judgement call on your part. Your toddler is unlikely to get mauled by a nipping collie, its also unlikely to get properly bit by a collie (mine snap teeth next to them rather than trying to bite them). There is a small chance that an excited nip will catch your toddler though, and if it does, it’s reality it’s likely to be the toddlers face.

been and done it. · 01/02/2023 00:11

CollieDug · 31/01/2023 23:24

As the owner of a (truly wonderful and super-soppy) collie I’d say no.

if the dog is not used to children then I think it’s way too risky.

so firm nope from me.

Absolutely right.

Friendofdennis · 01/02/2023 01:22

It’s too risky. You can never watch a dog 100% of the time. As a dog owner I would not want to be responsible for a toddler in my home. That is why I only got a dog when my children were young teenagers

Whattodo121 · 01/02/2023 06:46

I have a collie who isn’t keen on other children (she adores 10yo DS with her whole being) and there was a deeply unfortunate incident when she was 7 months old where she nipped a visiting child. This is was my responsibility as I foolishly thought ‘oh she’s so friendly’ and didn’t take into account her breed traits enough. I’ve done lots of research and training with her since then, but there There is no way that I would have her stay overnight in a house with young children and we’ve kept her separate from child visitors. She is highly strung and although very affectionate is quite nervy and would not enjoy the experience. Toddlers and very young children freak her out, they move weirdly and make screaming noises and are completely unpredictable.

SecretSophie · 01/02/2023 06:59

I'm a dog owner and I'd say no, and my dog is a loveliest creature, she's never spent time with a toddler.
Also the worst dog I've ever come across is my neighbour over the roads collie. The dog spends 14 hours a day guarding their window and goes berserk at everything. I wouldn't go near it. It's not all collies but it shows they're all different.

whataboutsecondbreakfast · 01/02/2023 07:03

As someone who walks multiple collies, I'd have to say "no way". Not unless you're there to supervise.

Collies are working dogs. They are also incredibly intelligent and if they're not given a job to do, they can "go rogue" and find their own entertainment. If that involves herding people, it could very quickly end in a nip or bite - especially as this dog isn't used to children and your toddler isn't used to dogs.

Reugny · 01/02/2023 07:07

Nope.

Nearly all my friends with dogs live with older children.

The dogs, different breeds, found my DD distressing as a toddler and would back away from her.

Only now she is 4 will some of them allow her to pet them.

CopperMaran · 01/02/2023 07:17

I would never do this. I didn’t leave our own dogs alone with our kids as toddlers (even though our dogs loved our toddlers and showed no sign of issue, I never risked it) and always put the dogs away when other toddlers came to visit.

LunaNova · 01/02/2023 07:19

As the owner of a bouncy collie-sized dog and an almost three yo DD I would agree to wait until DC is older before allowing to stay.

DD has grown up with our dogs (we have 2) and I'm still hyper vigilant when they're together. My dog sometimes gets the zoomies and I can see that she "factors" in DD so she doesn't knock her over when they're in the same room, but they've had 3 years of adjusting to life together. My toddler is really good with the dogs but accidentally stepped on our biggest dog's tail the other day, the dog just gave her a stare and moved away from her but they're used to each other. I have no doubt in my mind that our dog would react differently if someone else stood on her tail.

It's never worth the risk imo.

TooExtraImmatureCheddar · 01/02/2023 07:20

I think this one is down to your experience of the owners, really. If you don’t think they’d supervise well then it would be a hard no.

Nipping as a puppy might not mean anything - all puppies bite/mouth until they’ve learned not to. But a toddler isn’t the person to test that with.

I have a collie and she loves my kids, but the youngest was 6 when we got her. She hasn’t spent much time around toddlers so I don’t know how she’d behave. However, I think it is very hard to teach dogs about kids unless they live with kids - they just don’t get enough exposure, so I’d err on the side of caution.

Mindymomo · 01/02/2023 07:30

I have a border collie, he is 4 so older, he lets all children pet and say hello, but to have a toddler running around playing, he would join in and jump up and want to play too and would probably knock toddler flying. First I would visit for short times just to see how they get on before saying child can stay for a couple of days. Many thousands of border collies do live with small children and are perfectly ok, but it also depends on the child’s behaviour, if they are loud and scream then dog will get distressed.

CollieDug · 01/02/2023 07:32

I think it’s really important not to focus too much on collies only here. This principle - not leaving a dog alone with a child, especially a toddler - should apply to all dogs.

whataboutsecondbreakfast · 01/02/2023 08:07

CollieDug · 01/02/2023 07:32

I think it’s really important not to focus too much on collies only here. This principle - not leaving a dog alone with a child, especially a toddler - should apply to all dogs.

I think breed is very relevant here - collies are herding dogs which often means it's in their instincts to round people (or things) up and they sometimes achieve this by nipping at ankles.

Of course all dogs should be supervised around children but collies are intelligent working dogs who can find children quite distressing if they've not been raised with them.

OllytheCollie · 01/02/2023 08:12

I wouldn't. I have a well behaved adult collie and three teens. But would not invite my toddler nephew to stay without mum and dad because frankly I am past the toddler years and will not be vigilant enough. We had a lab when the kids were small and stargates everywhere etc.

Some dogs are calm round toddlers and some are not. Mine spends loads of time round young children and is completely indifferent to them, she doesn't want to play, can handle supervised fuss, leaves them alone if running around. BUT it only takes seconds for a situation with any dog and a child to escalate and whilst collie nips are mostly not dangerous it would be frightening. You don't want your child to be frightened.

Just be clear you come as a package for now, don't make it about the dog if possible as people can be stupid about their pets.

MagentaRocks · 01/02/2023 08:12

I have 2 collie crosses, they are young and very excitable but strangely enough around young children they are really gentle and different to how they are with adults. I trust them as far as anyone can trust a dog, but I wouldn’t risk them being around young children unsupervised. It’s just not worth the risk.

CollieDug · 01/02/2023 08:19

@whataboutsecondbreakfast

I think breed is very relevant here

Of course all dogs should be supervised around children

what you have written is a complete contradiction. NO dogs should be left alone with children. That is why focusing on collies in this instance - ie potential for dog to be left unsupervised with toddler - is unhelpful as it could give some people the impression that it’s just some breeds which are a risk.

Every single dog breed is a risk. Everybody really really needs to understand this.

Flip

1 2