If you've rehomed before should you ever get another dog?

[fizzingbubbleseffervescence]

I'm still reeling with the grief and guilt from rehoming our first ever dog. Do you think it's ever possible to get another one? Is there a breed/personality out there for every owner, or are some people just not dog people?

We got our first ever dog as an 8 week old puppy. We read pretty much every book going in advance and we attended puppy classes from the get go. The puppy bit us from day one but we accepted this (and trained hard) as that's what puppies do isn't it? We followed the advice to the letter from small group and one-one trainers but the biting never seemed to stop. We worked so hard on training for 13 more months and we had a practically perfect dog in terms of recall, toileting, sitting and waiting. But for some reason she continued to bite us on walks, either off lead or on lead. She was a big 40kg dog and I was covered in bites. We followed the advice of two behaviourists and in the end the vet said it was too dangerous for me to walk her. She bit my children too and we were terrified it was a ticking time bomb before she bit a member of the public.

We contacted a breed specific rescue who said they would train her from their home. They said it's such a difficult breed but she was the most difficult they ever met. She kept attacking their other dogs and they said they couldn't cope with her any more but they found a lovely older couple who had no children and no other dogs and lots of experience with her breed and she seems to be happy with them.

I'm so happy she's OK but I feel traumatised from the bites and grief that I've lost my baby. I've got a big dog shaped hole that I'd love to fill and so much love and energy to give to another dog.

Do you think it was a one off awful experience? I don't think I'll ever get over losing her. Everyone I knew told me it wasn't safe to keep her but I don't know if the guilt will ever go. Has anyone ever been through this and gone on to get another dog?

Thank you for any support.

I got a puppy years ago in hindsight was not right idea and struggled to cope so he went back to the breeder after couple of weeks ..( at that point was told my son was not just delayed he was disabled and knew I could not mange

Ff 9 years and got a puppy again but this time did my research fully and was in better postion with life in general .He is snoring next to me on the sofa and everyone comments on how well mannered and how gentle he is (did obedience etc when was younger

I would say be realistic of how much time you have to give and make sure have a credited trainer even before puppy comes home

Should add that second puppy is now 9 years old and we weathered the bad and good together and never once thought about re homing him .So it can work

Lots of people saying the same thing, bit harsh, you made a mistake and have presumably learnt from it.
I think if you really still want a dog in your life you should consider getting a rescue, rehoming a dog would balance out the fact that your first dog had to be rehomed.
There are tons of greyhounds and lurchers in rescue centers and despite the fact that they are big dogs, they are very gentle easy dogs, love lounging around and brilliant with kids.

I think the comments on here are incredibly harsh. Did anyone get asked if they were a novice at caring for children before they were allowed to get pregnant? I see lots of terrible dog owners around me - they're experienced though so would they have fared any better in these circumstances? Seems unlikely.

OP it sounds like you did everything you could on this, it's not your fault.

I've worked in rescue and 100% people can go on to rehome a dog after giving one up.

A big part of responsible dog ownership should be recognising you aren't the right home for a dog.

Rehoming is always seen on mumsnet as the worst thing that can happen to a dog but I would 100% prefer someone rehome then keep a dog in a wrong situation. I wish lots of the dogs we had were rehomed earlier. I always use two lovely dogs to illustrate this. First was a lovely spaniel puppy called Sam where the owners circumstances changed dramatically (not their fault) and they didn't have time for him really. They limped on through for a bit, and then decided to rehome. Sam is now a working spaniel and incredibly happy. The second was a dog called Jack. Jack's family was perfect for him, then went on to have children. They also ended up living in a busier are so walks were more overwhelming. He wasn't coping with the noise level in the houseand became unhappy, bravely his family recognised that he was stressed and after other attempts failed rehomed him. He was home to a quiet couple and is loving life

There are far too many Sam and Jack's that people feel too ashamed to rehome so end up living in environments that are stressful, and entrench behaviours. Normally what happens for dogs like Sam and Jack is they are kept at home while people cobble stuff together, they not only become incredibly stressed but develop harder to fix behaviours which make rehoming them 10x harder if they come into kennels, or end up living in homes with a mediocre quality of life, often stressed, rarely walked etc when there are homes that would suit them far better.

That aside some of the reasons that people might rehome after relinquishing are
Change of circumstances eg people that gave up dogs because they didn't have time, got evicted etc but later are in appropriate environments

They had the wrong dog for them. They might have a good set up but just had the wrong dog fit. Eg weren't able to manage a reactive malanois might be a good fit for a cavalier

The amount of shitty comments on this thread 🙄

I think if you really still want a dog in your life you should consider getting a rescue, rehoming a dog would balance out the fact that your first dog had to be rehomed.*
*
This^

I brought a puppy a few years ago. I've had dogs in the past so not my first dog/puppy. I really bonded with him, but my daughter was completely scared shitless of him. It became completely unmanageable. My husband didn't warm to him and the breeders were not honest about his breed so he grew much larger than we expected and he was very unwell with campylobacter and guardia which I spent hundreds of ££££ sorting out.

Essentially there were many factors against us and it had a very negative impact on my family and mental health.
He wasn't the right dog for us and it wasn't the right time either. However, despite loving him - I made the best decision for my family and the dog and found him a lovely experienced home with family friends and he is very happy with them.

Anyway......... my kids are older now and after an initial trial we have now re-homed a cocker spaniel and he has fitted in perfectly. He has healed my heart and filled a big dog shaped hole in my life.
It can work out the next time, you just need to take it slowly and choose a more suitable breed for your family.

How soon is it since you had this experience?

Speaking bluntly, it's clear from your OP you put in a hell of a lot of work and effort, much more than most people dog owners I know in real life, but yet it still hasn't worked out for you.
I know people who feed
their dogs on scraps, never walk them and leave them outside most of the time and they still wouldn't bite their owners (although maybe they should if that's how they're treated!!! 😡)
Maybe dogs just aren't the right fit for you.

Kindly, no you really shouldn't get another dog when you've rehomed one.

Getting a difficult breed as a first dog was pretty irresponsible and it's the dog that has suffered as a result. I've got 2 working dogs and life's never dull... training is ongoing and daily, and you can never let your guard down. People often say how well behaved they are, and I feel like saying yes because I've literally puts days, weeks, months and years into it!

Countsintopotatoes

I wholeheartedly agree with everything you said. I also used to rehome for a large UK charity. It amazes me how quickly every dog moved on from the previous owner.

Dogs settle really quickly with a new owner. So if it’s not working it’s not worth keeping going.
As someone else said a greyhound might work for you , large but soft. I would love a greyhound but that breed would work where I live.

In general, I think far too many people rehome their dogs when the going gets tough, usually during the teenage phase. The cute puppy stage is over, the novelty has worn off, and the teenage pup is testing boundaries. And then the owners are lauded for being so "brave" 🙄 when in reality they never put in the time and effort required to teach their dogs properly.

However, in your case it sounds as though you worked very hard with your dog, consulted experts, implemented their advice, and tried your best. If despite your best efforts your dog was biting you regularly (breaking the skin), then I can understand why you decided to call it a day. If the dog is now living happily with new owners, that's wonderful. Do you know whether the biting has stopped?

If you do decide to get another dog, I'd look for an older rescue dog rather than a puppy. All puppies are a bit of a lottery, no matter the breed. The temperament and behaviour of an adult rescue should be much more predictable based on the observations of the people who work in the rescue.

I re-homed my beautiful Parsons Russell Terrier.

He was everything I ever wanted in a dog. Intelligent, easy to tain and ace at agility!
When he was 2 years ally old, we had DD. Once DD started walking he took a dislike to her ... he never touched her, but when she came near him he walked away growling. Somehow he always seemed on edge with DD around. He always watched her but never let her come near.

I don't think he was cut out to be a family pet. I didn't trust him and decided to find him a child free home within the agility circuit.

I am still a dog owner, I just went for a calmer, less intelligent breed.
OP give yourself time, do some research and you'll find another, dog to share your life with!

"They aren't asking why the dog behaved like this."

@strictlygoingtomissstrictly - OP asked if hers was a one-off awful experience. Knowing why the dog behaved like this might help answer her question?

This is the type of thing I meant about the ties having a dog puts on you, and how really 90% of people aren’t cut out for it, You had a perfect dog then decided to have a child and got rid of the dog because it didn’t suit any more. To me, that isn’t honouring the life long commitment you make. But people don’t think of it. For me, if I was thinking of getting a puppy, it wouldn’t be ‘does this suit me?’ It would be ‘will this suit me? Will this suit me for the next 15 years?’

To be fair though in Ylvamoon's situation, wasn't it too big a risk to take for both the young child and dog, Kanaloa, if it had been allowed to continue? I think she was trying to do the right thing for them both.

I would agree that far too many people are too quick to rehome their pets in general though.😥

I had to rehome my dog when my marriage ended. It was the most horrible decision to make but best for everyone - especially the dog.

7 years later my new partner and I got a puppy. She's 3 now and we're considering getting her a friend next summer.

Why couldn't you walk her with a muzzle on ?

@Kanaloa I don't think you understand dogs.

This dog was great in every aspect except he could not cope living with a toddler. According to you, this poor animal should be condemned to a life of misey and stress. Unless of course I re homed DD instead!?
I have had dogs all my life, I grew up with them and always had 2-3 dogs at any one time. They are part of the family and share our living space.

If you ever trained a dog to competition level agility, you'd know that giving up a dog like that isn't done on a whim.

I do understand dogs. I think getting a dog is something that should be thought out extremely carefully. I think a lot of dogs aren’t really suitable for family life, and a lot of people who want a cute puppy don’t think ‘hang on, how will this fit with my potential family in 5 years?’

It’s my opinion that dog ownership shouldn’t be the extremely common thing it is, because most people (say for example someone who gets a giant high energy working breed as a family pet) aren’t really committed and don’t do the full research and make that lifelong decision. They make a this year decision, or a couple of years decision.

Oh I agree. But for me getting a dog when your situation might change massively isn’t a great idea. Any dog raised in a child free home might not appreciate a toddler making its appearance. My point is that really less people should get or have dogs. So many people get rid of animals because they have kids. But you knew how long the animal would live when you bought it. Maybe it’s better to wait until you’ve had the kids then look to rescue an extremely child friendly animal if you have the time.

That's really kind of you to say and a big relief to hear, thank you so much

Yes I totally agree. I think people who get pets for on a whim without any thought are absolutely abhorrent

Thank you so much. I'm so sorry to hear your sad story, it must have been devastating for you all but it sounds like you did the right thing and you're all safe