Apologies in advance for the long post. I need to get this off my chest as I feel too ashamed to admit some of these feelings to friends or other dog owners.
I have an almost 11 month old lab. First time dog owners but we've been diligent with training and enrichment since we got her at 8 weeks. Read all the books, including Total Recall, and joined lots of forums for training advice. We use positive reinforcement methods only.
She's a smart lab. Sit, stay, down, paw, leave it, drop it etc all mastered very quickly as well as some tricks. She has self discipline because she won't eat or go through a door until I've released her. This is relevant to know because it shows she is biddable and has self control.
Yet, still, our lab has not mastered loose leash walking. When she pulls like a train, it's exhausting. I can't let the kids ever walk her because she's too strong. She is getting there slowly and she's always fine after she's had her long walk so I know some of it is just the excitement and energy she needs to expend.
She also jumps on people, which is a habit we are trying to break. She doesn't do it at home as we've trained her not to. The hardest thing is training other people. Many encourage it and tell me "it's fine" after I've specifically asked them to ignore her unless she's calm and on four paws or sat. Or ignore what I say then get cross when she jumps as they've invited her up but haven't reckoned on the force of an enthusiastic dog. Consistency is key so this is a frustrating one as it relies on the other person listening to me as well! Walking past people isn't an issue. It's only if they give her even the tiniest bit of attention, she jumps.
The biggest frustration is that she is obsessed with other dogs and is a frustrated greeter. On lead, she'll lie down and wait for the other dog to approach. Or pulls like a train to get to them. When they get close she'll lunge (sometimes bark) at them desperate to play. Her recall and check ins are excellent if no other dogs about. If she sights or smells them, she's off. Her recall disappears and even when other dogs bark of snap as they don't like her boisterous puppy play, she doesn't get the hint. To her, everyone is her BFF! This is why she's on a long line still. As we live somewhere where we encounter dogs frequently, she's not going to come off it until her recall is solid around other dogs. We'll be starting gun dog training with her soon with a trainer in the hope that this improves her focus on us.
Not posting for training tips as we already have excellent advice on what we must do to train her out of this. To be clear, she isn't denied the opportunity to play with other dogs either. It's work in progress and training is unrelenting in these three areas. I know part of it is teenage years, puppy years and her being a breed that loves dogs and people (she isn't interested in the ball, retrieves or any toys at all). We are making some progress. It feels very slow and some days it feels like one step forward, one back. Deep down, I feel we can get there as I am seeing it improve VERY slowly to my mind. I'm simply frustrated and tired.
I'm posting to vent and hope this is a safe space to do so. There are days when I wonder whether she will ever change and this scares me as I don't want her on a long line forever or only be able to go off lead in secure fields I rent. I have read of labs that remain obsessed with other dogs even at 2+ years of age. I have been embarrassed so many times and sat in the car in tears after a couple of walks. I see other dogs that can calmly walk by and ignore dogs or quickly play then go back when recalled and I'm so envious. I'm even more envious when I ask owners for their tips and they say they had to do nothing! That their dogs have never been as interested in other dogs as mine even as puppies. Then I start to feel guilty and wonder if I over socialised her as a puppy. It also creates tension at home because DH isn't as consistent with me with the training.
I work as well and have kids so I am balancing a lot. Dog training has become another mental load. I know and expected to train the dog but it's been almost a year and it's the dog obsession that gets to me! I often wish for walks where she's off lead (when she's at her happiest to sniff and explore) and, well, it can just be a relaxing walk without me worrying she's going to jump on someone or run off and not come back as she's found a pack of dogs.
To clarify, she is extremely well loved and taken care of. We're deeply committed to training her to become the dog we want. She has many good points: otherwise very calm, sits happily in pubs and cafes with me, great with the kids and doesn't bark. Lots and lots of positive things.
Apologies for waffling. Sorry to vent. Please be kind.
What I would love to hear is if anyone has had a dog like this and have positive stories to tell of how they got through it. Then I can keep revisiting this thread when I am in need of encouragement to keep going with the training.
If you've made it this far, thank you.