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The doghouse

If you're worried about your pet's health, please speak to a vet or qualified professional.

Can't have people over

48 replies

ablisha · 16/10/2022 14:20

Post covid our dog has become completely unmanageable when people come in the house. He is SO excitable and will not settle the whole time we have guests. We've tried having him in the same room, different rooms and we've paid for numerous behaviourists.
Unfortunately now it's got to the point where it's just too stressful to have people over and I feel quite resentful about this (even though I really don't want to). He's a cocker and we have tried things like VERY long walks to tire him out before people arrive but it doesn't impact him at all.
He is definitely excited, not anxious. I guess I'm just after any advice. I really would love to get to a point where we can have people over without it being so stressful.

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Billybagpuss · 16/10/2022 14:39

What sort of things did the behaviourist suggest?

Are you trying to socialise with guests whilst hoping dog will settle and doing your best to ignore him? Could you rope in some friends who will come round and not worry about being ignored while you train dog while they’re there?

Things we’ve done with ours is training to a boundary so she has to go to her step when they arrive which kinda works for a bit, but in all honesty the only thing that really works long enough to have a nice evening with friends is a marrow bone. She chews away on that for an hour or so then is calm enough not to be pain when we take it away from her. She’s now older and it’s not so much of a problem.

thelobsterquadrille · 16/10/2022 14:47

What happens if you keep her on her lead?

ablisha · 16/10/2022 15:06

They suggested the long walks and using a kong to distract but to be honest, despite being food driven, he will leave all of these to see visitors. Or even just take the kong to them 🤦🏻‍♀️
They said about having a boundary but then he just cries persistently.
Our friends are very good with him, as our our family, and will practice but we just haven't seen any improvement. Both my husband and I are in our 30s and we'd love to be able to have our friends with children over but it would just be too much for little ones. He's never been aggressive but just the sheer level of excitement wouldn't be fair on small children.

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ablisha · 16/10/2022 15:07

@thelobsterquadrille we actually did this today (and have quite a few times) but again, he just cries persistently

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thelobsterquadrille · 16/10/2022 15:08

How long will he cry for?

FruitPastilleNut · 16/10/2022 15:12

Have you tried other food except the kong? A bone that they can chew? Similar to a pp, if we really want a good long uninterrupted stretch the only thing that keeps ours totally occupied is a massive bone.

ablisha · 16/10/2022 15:12

@thelobsterquadrille until he's allowed to go over to the visitor but the behaviourist said not to let him until he's quiet 🤷🏻‍♀️

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Billybagpuss · 16/10/2022 15:12

A kong would never have cut it for billypup that’s why the marrow bone, if he’s food driven it is worth a try.

morgenmorgen · 16/10/2022 15:20

Just posting here as we have the same problem. And we can't give ours a bone as he then ends up with a horrendous upset stomach in the middle of the night. Would love to find a solution!

twistyizzy · 16/10/2022 15:20

Your behaviourist sounds a bit rubbish I'm afraid. The only way to deal effectively with this is to ask all visitors to completely ignore the dog ie no eye contact/speaking/touching dog until the dog is calm. Only then do they invite the dog for attention. Never let the dog greet anyone at the door, if needed shut in separate room.
Join the Facebook group Dog Training Advice and Support which is run by fire free qualified behaviourists and is an excellent source of guidance and support.
Long walks won't help as these often result in an over stimulated dog, especially if allowed to free hunt during the walk. Also not practical for surprise visitors.

twistyizzy · 16/10/2022 15:21

Force free not fire free 🙄

ablisha · 16/10/2022 15:27

@twistyizzy I thought the same but this one particularly comes highly recommended locally! I've spent so much money already, I afford to keep speaking to different ones.
I have asked all visitors to keep ignoring him but he is SO relentless it takes over the evening or they then feel awkward and end up engaging.

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twistyizzy · 16/10/2022 15:29

ablisha · 16/10/2022 15:27

@twistyizzy I thought the same but this one particularly comes highly recommended locally! I've spent so much money already, I afford to keep speaking to different ones.
I have asked all visitors to keep ignoring him but he is SO relentless it takes over the evening or they then feel awkward and end up engaging.

If he can't control himself then separate him each time, he will soon get the message. As the owner of a WCS you also have to train him to settle as they do struggle to find their own off switch.

twistyizzy · 16/10/2022 15:29

Oh and the Facebook page I recommended is free!

thelobsterquadrille · 16/10/2022 15:30

ablisha · 16/10/2022 15:12

@thelobsterquadrille until he's allowed to go over to the visitor but the behaviourist said not to let him until he's quiet 🤷🏻‍♀️

Does he really not stop at all? All you need is literally a second of quiet, capture it with a clicker and treat him.

ablisha · 16/10/2022 15:31

@twistyizzy I've just joined thank you!

We have tried to separate him, but you would like someone is being murdered with the noise he makes! And he just doesn't stop

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ablisha · 16/10/2022 15:31

That was meant to say THINK not like, sorry

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ablisha · 16/10/2022 15:33

@thelobsterquadrille no honestly, I know it sounds as if I may be exaggerating but he would keep going for a good hour plus

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twistyizzy · 16/10/2022 15:39

God I hate this new site, it just lost my answer 🙄

twistyizzy · 16/10/2022 15:39

God I hate this new site, it just lost my answer 🙄

twistyizzy · 16/10/2022 15:42

ablisha · 16/10/2022 15:31

@twistyizzy I've just joined thank you!

We have tried to separate him, but you would like someone is being murdered with the noise he makes! And he just doesn't stop

OK so you have to be quick and as soon as he stops crying for 3 secs then let him out. Let him back in with visitors and ask them to ignore him/no eye contact or attention of any sort. If he starts being too boisterous then immediately remove him from the room again. Dont tell him off just immediately remove. Keep a lead on him if needed. If you keep the consistency and do this absolutely every single time then the penny will drop. Cockers are stubborn but highly intelligent.
Out of interest what training do you do in general with him?

thelobsterquadrille · 16/10/2022 15:43

ablisha · 16/10/2022 15:33

@thelobsterquadrille no honestly, I know it sounds as if I may be exaggerating but he would keep going for a good hour plus

Then it sounds like you need to practise settling without visitors around.

If you have a doorbell, disable it/change the noise and ask visitors to knock. If they knock, get a doorbell. He's already attuned to the current noise and knows it means guests, so you need to change his association with the door iswyim.

Then, you need to work to desensitise him to the (new) sound of the door. When the door goes, he needs to do what you ask - stay in his bed, go behind a baby gate, go in another room (whatever you want him to do). This will take a LOT of repetition to get right, but eventually it should be automatic.

Then you add visitors into the mix. So, door goes and he stays in his bed/goes behind a baby gate. He has to stay there (calmly) until visitors come in and sit own (get someone to wait with him to keep in his place via treats or a lead).

Once visitors are settled and the dog is calm, let him in - get them to chuck the treats down at the dog, avoiding eye contact and not giving him any fuss. This should stop the dog jumping up and being silly. As long as the dog has all four paws on the floor, allow guests to greet. If he jumps up, they need to ignore him, fold their arms and avoid eye contact until he's calm.

It will take a lot of work and repetition at first, but eventually he should get it. Cockers are smart dogs, after all.

Another option for now is to take him outside on a lead and allow him to greet guests in the garden, get the initial excitement over, then bring him indoors with them.

twistyizzy · 16/10/2022 15:44

Would also recommend you look into gundog training as this will help you with the overall obedience.

ablisha · 16/10/2022 15:46

Thank you for all the advice. We actually purchased a ring doorbell so that we only get the notification on our phone without the noise. I will have a look to see if there is any gun dog training nearby.

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twistyizzy · 16/10/2022 15:47

ablisha · 16/10/2022 15:46

Thank you for all the advice. We actually purchased a ring doorbell so that we only get the notification on our phone without the noise. I will have a look to see if there is any gun dog training nearby.

Your situation is easily remedied but it requires training which should be daily and consistency from you every single time a visitor comes.
Don't let your dog ever greet visitors at the door, put them in a different room.

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