Can't have people over

[ablisha]

Post covid our dog has become completely unmanageable when people come in the house. He is SO excitable and will not settle the whole time we have guests. We've tried having him in the same room, different rooms and we've paid for numerous behaviourists.
Unfortunately now it's got to the point where it's just too stressful to have people over and I feel quite resentful about this (even though I really don't want to). He's a cocker and we have tried things like VERY long walks to tire him out before people arrive but it doesn't impact him at all.
He is definitely excited, not anxious. I guess I'm just after any advice. I really would love to get to a point where we can have people over without it being so stressful.

Try things like walks with the people who are coming round. So rather than taking him out by himself to tire him out, go for a walk with everyone so he gets used to their presence, but when there is more interesting things going on. Then come back and give a long lasting chew.

@SarahSissions it's a good idea but not always possible

I was reading and thought ‘I wonder if it’s a cocker’ and you confirmed that. We have a cocker, and she is similar, but thankfully she does settle down eventually, although I do find it stressful too so you have my sympathies. She’s not so bad at home but if I take her with me to visit family that’s when it ramps up and I often don’t stay anywhere long with her.

Unfortunately I don’t have much to add so will try some of these suggestions too, but like I said you have my sympathies, because if he’s anything like mine I’m sure he’s an incredibly loving great dog, but doesn’t stop it from being tough sometimes!

@yerdaindicatesonbends oh he is so loving and I think that's part of the problem. He just wants to be with everyone/ON TOP OF everyone. It's just unfortunate that it's not appropriate for him to be like that constantly and with children ☹️

We use baby gates. When visitors come she goes in the kitchen. She can see us still..she whines but we ignore. Once quiet the lead goes on and she comes and sits with one of us until she is calm. Then she can come off the lead. She is usually still excited but calms quickly. We had visitors the other day, she was sat watching tv with the kids within half an hour 🤣 .

Numerous behaviourists? And that’s all they came up with? Blimey. They could have got that from googling.

how old is?

@GeorgeorRuth I could get on with this but unfortunately he is much more vocal and persistent

@NightsByTheLake thank you, helpful

@Anydaynowonewouldhope he's 6 and a half

Oh I was thinking he must be much younger.

is there something that you think might have made it worse?

if he’s a working cocker he will need a lot fo work to do. Have you tried to do scent work at home? That could
help tire him out.

agility would also be a good thing to do.

But exercise can over stimulate

id get lots of ideas for brain games and try them out to see if they make him settle

have you tried him on a lead while visitors are there. Sit him next to you on a short lead and then reward him when he’s quiet and settled. Obviously it will take a while - but eventually he should learn to associate being quiet with a treat. And if he’s on a short lead he won’t actually be able to jump.

id make sure to have a harnass not a collar though. And just pop the lead under your foot

Don’t literally pin him to the ground obvs - just hold the lead short enough that he can’t go far from your side etc

@Anydaynowonewouldhope yes I've put it all in my previous posts but I appreciate there's a few. He is much worse post covid.

We've tried the lead A LOT but he is just relentless and will not calm down unfortunately. It ends up just taking over any visits we have.

My husband is now at breaking point to be honest with him, as much as we both love him dearly, he's finding not being able to have people inside the house difficult. I feel like he's got to the point where he feels we have covered all options with behaviourists.

so what you’re going to get rid of your dog because he’s cramping your husbands social life?

to be honest it sounds like you’ve tried some not very good behaviourists and tried a few techniques.

the reality is that this is a problem that can be solved if you put a lot of time and energy into it.

But people who contemplate getting rid of their dogs because they’ve become inconviennt also ten to be people
who try techniques a few times and then give up because doing the training is also inconvenient

sorry but I feel quite cross and upset for your dog

Agree with PP that the behaviourists sound terrible. Unfortunately anyone who has done some random course can give themselves that title and waste people's money.

Anyway, so what you need to do it approach this in very small steps right from the beginning. As though you are starting from scratch with a puppy basically.

First of all you need to train him how to behave with everyone who lives in the house before you can expect him to behave correctly with visitors.
Teach him that he will only get attention once he is sitting calmly. You can do this when you come down in the morning, when you come back from shopping or whatever. You ask him to sit and he gets attention. Any jumping up or getting over excited and you ignore and even turn your back and ask him to sit again and then when he does, he gets reward of attention. But not excited high pitched praise, just calm strokes and voice. Model for him the kind of behaviour you are expecting. You do this consistently, every time you come back from somewhere or he comes to you for attention and all in the house need to do the same. If you stay consistent he will learn to do this without you needing to ask. Once you have got this behaviour really secured, you can ask a friend or relative to come round and do the same with him. It will be much harder for him as he gets so excited but he will get it eventually as you have built up the training with yourselves. It takes time and you have to stay consistent otherwise he will slip back into old habits but hopefully will be a much calmer and controlled dog.

@Anydaynowonewouldhope I appreciate your opinion but I was asking for advice not judgement.
We have had him since he was a puppy so it's not as if we have made a snap decision in getting a dog and then changed our mind.
I also did not say that we are getting rid of him. I said my husband was at breaking point.

@TheUsualChaos thank you. He is very good when it is just us in the house but I completely understand that it has to be back to basics consistently.
I will use everyone's advice on here and hope that it has some impact with more time.

Also the advice about tiring him out is not ideal and unlikely to work. Obviously needs regular exercise but dog could have just had a 8 mile walk and would still bounce off the walls if someone exciting came to visit. It's teaching the expected behaviour that will work.

@TheUsualChaos yes the walks have had no impact so that's definitely something we have learnt. It does just need to be learnt behaviour but it's the catching him getting it right in order to reward him which is tough as he is so persistent. However a PP said to reward even the shortest silence so that's what I'm going to try 🤞🏼

Even though he's good with you already, work on getting it even better. Attention only when he sits. Until it's completely automatic. This will help him make the association that he needs to do the same thing with visitors to get his reward of nice calm attention and diffuse the adrenaline rush he gets. Difficult in practice I know as when you add DC into the mix it usually goes tits up but just keep trying and get the adults at least to do the same technique and he will get there.

You could try teaching him a long stay while he's sat next to you and you're watching tv or something. Give him treats and encouragement every so often so he knows it's a training session. Release him with an excitable fanfare after increasingly long periods.

Do it often enough without visitors so he knows the drill when people come. Introduce 'low excitement' visitors first and keep treating the long stay. It worked with my lab but did take ages.

I know you realise that the long walks aren't helping, but have you tried slow, very sniffy walks. These are great for mentally tiring cockers out, and people often comment on how their dogs behaviour changes once they start encouraging their dog to sniff more.
Also, do you use licki mats/bowls? Also great for working their brains, but maybe a bit more interesting than a kong so would distract him slightly when visitors arrive. Maybe let them briefly greet him and then give him a licki mat. We press a cheese slice into it, or put primula or natural yoghurt on it.

@ablisharealise this is an old thread but I’m really interested to see how it panned out with age? I’m in a similar situation at the moment with my 15 month old working Labrador.