I just need to talk to people who understand

[ImperioMarch]

DS is 4 and non-verbal/autistic.

He loves my dog and DF dog (who both live with DF for various reasons) who are both big labs who love to rough and tumble (obviously they are watched like a hawk but they are more likely to lick him to death).

DM has a small Romanian Rescue mongrel, DS has never met this dog before today as DM lives several hours away.

This dog is extremely dog reactive, which is another reason she's normally left with a sitter as my village is dog-central.

DM took the dog on in a moment of madness but I highly suspect the dog was pretty much shipped to her the minute it arrived in the UK rather than any proper assessment being made and I also think they've lied about several things - including her age.

DM has never been able to walk her in the five years she's had her, despite trying a behaviourist, medication, CBD oil etc. She's just too traumatised from her time in Romania.

Anyway she had to bring her when she visited today as no sitter available. As she was a strange dog we were monitoring DS, keeping him calm around the dog and not letting him jump about the way he does with the labs.

He was stood next to DM showing her something, and the dog was at her feel (and up until this point DS was ignoring her) and in a split second he bent down and put a hand on her back and another on her shoulders.

The dog lashed out and snapped at DS face. There's a couple of small punctures near his eye but thankfully no major damage and he was playing happily again half an hour later (the dog was immediately put out in the car).

DM has said she is getting rid and has contacted the rescue (who unsurprisingly are trying to put her off) but I know with her reactivity she'd already be difficult to rehome. But now with a bite history I feel like it's inevitable she'll be PTS.

And I feel conflicted in all honesty. Because she reacted to what she probably perceived as being attacked.

But at the same time this is DS, and he's my priority.

But she could do it again and tbh with her being so scared of the world I do wonder if it would be kinder all round.

Mostly I'm angry at the "rescue". They failed that little dog and ultimately she's the one that will suffer in the end.

Sorry, I just needed to vent where people might get where I'm coming from a bit better than elsewhere on the site.

@ImperioMarch

I would report the Rescue.

Just re read your posts & see there was no bleeding & you called 111 & got advice !!

OP- if your mum has decided to keep the dog and 'give it one more chance' I think you need to discuss with her what that really means. I have a reactive rescue dog (also from overseas via a UK rescue and we were also ill prepared by the rescue for what his needs might be). For us, giving him a chance means spending loads of time training him, taking him to secure fields where he can run around without encountering anything that upsets him, being careful where we walk him, doing loads of enrichment activities at home so he doesn't get bored etc. And most importantly we have trained him to be comfortable wearing a muzzle when he's in public, and set things up in our home so that he can be kept away from visitors but still be happy. I wouldn't for a second allow any child (we have NT and ND children in the extended family), but have the muzzle on in public in case he's approached unexpectedly. We've also spend £££ on training etc and have found an amazing behaviourist who does not claim to be able to fix him, but has helped us understand him better and trained us to help him. The problem is that the industry is pretty much unregulated and we did encounter several who claimed offer a quick fix and/or to be able to turn him in to a 'normal' dog. I really don't believe that's possible with a reactive dog but we have found a way to manage things so that he is calm and happy. I think if your mum isn't prepared to need to make adjustments and keep the dog away from children for the rest of it's life then it would be kinder to have it pts now than risk it doing some real damage to someone and having to suffer the trauma of being taken away and pts by the authorities.

This is guilt tripping rubbish. The rescue had no business taking dogs of uncertain history and shipping them off to people unprepared for the responsibilities they have been handed. The OP's mother has tried harder than most would, and invested time and money trying to manage a dog that has deep seated issues. The OP doesn't want the dog to die, but sometimes that is the only sustainable outcome.

This is why I am deeply disturbed by people adopting dogs from "poor countries". We do not need to import homeless dogs. We have more than enough of our own, and most of these are housed with responsible organisations who work to ensure appropriate behaviours and matching of dogs with potential homes. Sometimes a little too over the the top in doing so, but better that than foisting street dogs and worse on people without the knowledge or expertise to manage them. There ought to be much more regulation around what dogs are imported, why, and in what circumstances they are rehomed.

People should also be aware that the British, in particular, are considered a soft target on this issue, and some of the "re-homing charities" have dubious connections, run either by individuals profiteering, or even by people who have found trading in dogs more profitable than drugs.

There is a lot of emphasis within the UK on avoiding puppy farms and rehoming where appropriate, but much less emphasis on being wise to these sorts of schemes. Nice people are easily suckered - even if the intent of the re-homers is good, that doesn't mean they know what they are doing.

how is the dog when they're home alone (your mum & dog)? Prior to this, what did your mum say about the dog? (Lovely at home, all good, or did she complain about it?)
Quiet at home but she does complain about walking her. She said yesterday "She brings me no joy"

Have you told your SIS/SIL about what happened? I'd definitely do that to protect Nieces/Nephews. Tough if your Mum gets in a huff!!
Sis knows as DM told her. Her oldest is a teenager, so able to steer clear.

has he complained it's hurting? (Can he?).
At the time he said "it hurt me", which surprised us as he almost never says a full sentence. Been fine now. Only thing i need to watch for is him possibly becoming fearful of dogs.

As I've said upthread its the "rescue" i'm most angry at.

I have a hobby that means I'm surrounded by dogs regularly. Some of those dogs are reactive, but none of them were dumped on an owner who was underprepared and (probably) not fully informed.
One of the other women in the hobby runs a rescue specialising in post-bite cases, so again PTS would not be my automatic reaction (unless there was serious injury) because i know the right person can get to the bottom of it and rehome with the right people.

If she went back to them i wouldn't trust the rescue to do any of this. They would either rehome her without telling the full story or PTS as she would be almost impossible to rehome.

This is why I am deeply disturbed by people adopting dogs from "poor countries". We do not need to import homeless dogs. We have more than enough of our own, and most of these are housed with responsible organisations who work to ensure appropriate behaviours and matching of dogs with potential homes.

DM says lesson learnt with foreign rescues. Next dog will be from UK rescue. (She's had rescue dogs for years prior to the current one)

You and your mum have to take some of the blame. Your DS didn’t know how to behave around the dog, the dog was startled by him. If the dog absolutely had to come with your mum the dog should have spent the entire visit shut away from your DS in a quiet room. With a dog as traumatised as you describe it’s common sense really. And if your mum is confident that she can manage the dog so as to prevent that behaviour that’s up to her

She said yesterday "She brings me no joy"

I'm so sorry. That's a crap situation for everyone involved, not least the dog.

Yeah, a pox on the bloody rescue that created this mess.

Is it possible to rehome her via your friend's rescue? At least she sounds like she'll try and do the right thing by the dog, unlike the rescue who brought her over in the first place.