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The doghouse

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Original poster

My friend takes personal offence to me not liking her dog- is this a normal feeling amongst dog owners?

36 replies

Sundaycoffee · 30/08/2022 19:45

I don't like my friends dog particularly. It smells, dribbles, sheds, rubs it's ass on the carpet and leaves poo stains. Isn't particularly well trained and my friend babies him.
I try and keep away from him as best as I can but it is constantly humping, clambering over me which means I am consistently pushing him away. I can appreciate him from afar and happy to give him a stroke or pat on the head but generally prefer to not be too close.
It's causing tension between myself and my friend. She asked me recently if I would give her and dog a lift to the vets last week when her car broke down and I told her that I would love to help but I wasn't keen on having fido in my car and she said in a "jokey" way about how fussy I am and I could tell she thought I was being difficult and inflexible to a friend in need, which made me feel a bit crap.
During an outing last week when he sneezed all over my bare leg I did get visibly annoyed and she told me she finds it offensive that I don't like her dog as it is "an extension of her" so she takes it personally and likened it to telling someone "I don't like your child".
AIBU and is there anything I can do to make this easier for us both?

OP posts:
TLIMSISNW · 30/08/2022 19:48

I get that you don’t like her dog but you don’t have to be obvious about it.

Creepymanonagoatfarm · 30/08/2022 19:51

Suggest a car valet after the vet trip?
Can't beat em join em? Get a ddog yourself. Show her how it should be trained...
Or get a bigger one and let it bully hers!!
*joke.

SquirrelSoShiny · 30/08/2022 19:51

She's a nutter. Lots of people here will vindicate her. I would be with you.

Her dog is not a baby nor an extension of her. You don't owe it lifts or leg humps. Tell her to get over herself and accept that you like her loads you're just not a fan of her dog!

ColinRobinsonsfamiliar · 30/08/2022 19:53

Yeah. Normal.

Thats why I am VERY careful what I say to friends with dogs/cats.
Better still I avoid seeing them with their animals. I just don’t go to their house or arrange anything involving them.

Avoid is the best policy for me.

just to add, I have a very distressing terror of dogs so I can’t be near them anyway. Friends know this. (Still insist that their dog is the softest dog ever and would “lick me to death”…. 😱

MrsGamgee · 30/08/2022 19:58

I think some dog owners are just like this. My sister thinks I have something against her dog and keeps saying we need to bond 😁 I can appreciate he is a cute dog, but he peed on my carpet and caused carnage on Christmas day so I'd prefer to not let him in my home. He also isn't very well trained which makes it even more stressful when I'm out with them and he is running riot.

Sally99 · 30/08/2022 19:59

YANBU. I I don't like my sister's dog for all the same reasons.

LesOliviers · 30/08/2022 20:00

I absolutely love dogs and I have one, but she's being ridiculous. It's a dog, not a child. She should seek proper training to stop him being a nuisance. If someone comes to house who doesn't like dogs, or if my dog is being a pest (rare), I put my dog in another room.

thistimelastweek · 30/08/2022 20:03

I have a dog. I love my dog.

I don't expect other people to put up with her (even though she she doesn't smell, dribble or wipe her arse on the carpet).

ThreePotatoFloor · 30/08/2022 20:04

Nah I’m with you. Don’t wish them any harm, but I think dogs are pretty gross what with the dribbling and the eating shite and the exposed arsehole.

i don’t really get it.

RunningFromInsanity · 30/08/2022 20:04

I have a dog and am very well aware that dogs aren’t everyone’s cup of tea and make sure that he never imposes on them. I would never ask to put him in someone else’s car as I know he shed/smells etc.

However when your whole life revolves around this animal and you love them immensely (as any dog owner should) it is sometimes hard not to feel (irrationally) upset/put out when someone visibly doesn’t like them. I guess that’s why dog owners tend to be friends with other dog owners- it’s easier.

But that’s not your problem. You have done nothing wrong.

Thinkbiglittleone · 30/08/2022 20:10

I love our dog so much, but I don't expect everyone else too (although they do we trained her and she's gorgeous) but course, if her dog is untrained, jumping on you, wiping its slobber on you then you have every right to be a bit annoyed about that.

Also of her dog drags it's backside along the floor, clean it or take it to get its glands checked or something.

She sounds a bit crazy.

1ittlegreen · 30/08/2022 20:13

Tackle it and explain explicity what you don't like about the dog and hopefully she will understand better. If you tell a dog owner your not keen on dogs they will not be able to comprehend unless you spell it out:

I don't like the look of them
I don't like the fact that they aren't able to wash their own arses
I don't like the smell
I don't like the dander
I don't like them touching me
I don't like the fact that they are animals and no one, not even their owners, can predict how they will react to certain situations
I don't like looking at their faces
I don't like slobber
I don't like the thought of warm poo in a bag
I don't like thinking about poo residue left behind after poop has been picked up
I don't like thinking about dogs
I don't like the noises they make

Etc, etc..... Well you get the picture. Perhaps compare it to something she doesn't like and get her to describe why she doesn't like said thing..eg spiders, coleslaw, flying

Hakeandling · 30/08/2022 20:14

It does upset me a bit if someone doesn’t like my dog but I try not to show it!
I do understand that some people don’t like dogs and even people who like some dogs might not like mine and I don’t hold it against them. it just makes me a bit sad

Impossiblepossibilities · 30/08/2022 20:15

I don’t expect everyone to love or even like my dogs - but then again I don’t baby them or take them with me to places where I know there are people that don’t like them. I wouldn’t say my dogs are an extension of me either. I do love them fiercely and consider them members of the family, but not in such a way that they are treated like humans or children.

My dad is terrified of dogs and never comes into contact with mine, despite me having had dogs for over 30 years. I tend to think in terms of expecting him to sit in a room with my dogs is akin to expecting me to sit in a room with a giant dog-sized tarantula. I know how that would make me feel and I wouldn’t want to inflict that on anyone else. My current dog is tiny and an absolute sweetheart, but that’s irrelevant to how he feels about dogs in general and wouldn’t make it any easier for him than when I had a giant breed.

I’ve always felt that choosing to keep dogs means you have a responsibility to make sure they don’t negatively impact on anyone else in any way. That means training them to make sure they are under control both in public and at home, not letting them foul/cleaning up after them and not letting them make a noise that disturbs others, plus not inflicting them on people that are scared of them.

I love dogs, but avoid visiting a friend whose dogs are practically untrained and allowed charge around the room, run across the back of the sofa and leap off onto you repeatedly and if they are on the floor hump you or constantly stick their head in your handbag/shopping. My dogs say a polite hello then go to their beds when we have visitors and if someone is scared or doesn’t like dogs I send them to one of their beds in another room and close the door.

KellyGrayson · 30/08/2022 20:18

I have people in my life who I know don’t really like my dog, that’s fine, they don’t need to. But I do still find it a bit hurtful that I can easily tell they don’t like the dog.
Sounds like she is a little sensitive.
I would never ask someone to look after my dog, walk it or drive us somewhere when I know they don’t like the dog.
I would suggest that you plan more meet ups at your house or out so you can simply avoid the dog. That way you don’t have to pretend and she doesn’t have to be upset.
You’re not in the wrong here.

MassiveSalad22 · 30/08/2022 20:18

Oh for gods sake, the bum drag thing and sneezing on you is rank. You wouldn’t tolerate anything else doing that would you?? People on MN are weird about dogs. Gross. I don’t like the hair and even the size of my parents’ dog, luckily they don’t take offence 😄 he did sneeze on me once and it made me gag. I don’t want any species sneezing on me thanks.

lovesT · 30/08/2022 20:21

I don't like my mum's dogs and she knows about it 🤷 they're annoying (especially one of them) and I'm not used to dogs anymore so they are pretty gross to me with some of the things they do. I don't like them and don't have to like them. You also don't have to love other people's children 🤷 and I have a 2.5 year old. I don't let my mum's dogs in my house so can understand why you wouldn't want it dribbling in your car. Don't see why I should have their hair everywhere when I don't want them around 👍🙂

MassiveSalad22 · 30/08/2022 20:22

Oh yeah I’m not keen on other people’s children either 😄

Wolfiefan · 30/08/2022 20:24

See her without the dog. Make plans where dogs can’t go!

KhaleesiDothraki · 30/08/2022 20:31

This reply has been deleted

Previously banned poster - this has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

mamabeeboo · 30/08/2022 20:43

My in laws neighbours have a bulldog who literally has saliva strings hanging from its mouth around its legs. It eats grass and licks the cemented wall and breathes so heavily and its disgusting. Yet they bring it everytime they get called over. Everyone politely smiles at it, to save being good neighbours, but you can tell no one wants it there.

Haggisfish3 · 30/08/2022 20:49

The exposed arsehole!! 🤣🤣

MajorCarolDanvers · 30/08/2022 21:14

Some dog owners just don't get it - most are fine though.

certainshepherdpups · 30/08/2022 21:51

I can see why you don't like your friend's dog. I love dogs and I don't think I'd want to be around your friend's dog either. It's not his fault, though. His owner hasn't trained him properly.

No one is obliged to love my dogs. But I must admit I was a bit floored when an acquaintance announced apropos of nothing, "All dogs are horrible, including yours." I mean, this person is entitled to her opinion, but I was taken aback by the categorical way it was stated as though it were The Absolute Truth rather than a subjective opinion. Not to mention how rude it was to say such a thing. My dog was the sweetest creature alive who adored people but wouldn't approach them without an express invitation. He'd never come near her. Apparently he was "horrible" simply by virtue of his existence. I have no idea why this person felt compelled to announce this belief. It did change my opinion of her.

CaptainMum · 30/08/2022 21:54

I don't love dogs. And I don't like how dogs are given priority to dictate personal boundaries rather than people. I don't want your dog to lick my hand, snuggle my child or wee on my stuff.