My friend takes personal offence to me not liking her dog- is this a normal feeling amongst dog owners?

[Sundaycoffee]

I don't like my friends dog particularly. It smells, dribbles, sheds, rubs it's ass on the carpet and leaves poo stains. Isn't particularly well trained and my friend babies him.
I try and keep away from him as best as I can but it is constantly humping, clambering over me which means I am consistently pushing him away. I can appreciate him from afar and happy to give him a stroke or pat on the head but generally prefer to not be too close.
It's causing tension between myself and my friend. She asked me recently if I would give her and dog a lift to the vets last week when her car broke down and I told her that I would love to help but I wasn't keen on having fido in my car and she said in a "jokey" way about how fussy I am and I could tell she thought I was being difficult and inflexible to a friend in need, which made me feel a bit crap.
During an outing last week when he sneezed all over my bare leg I did get visibly annoyed and she told me she finds it offensive that I don't like her dog as it is "an extension of her" so she takes it personally and likened it to telling someone "I don't like your child".
AIBU and is there anything I can do to make this easier for us both?

she finds it offensive that I don't like her dog as it is "an extension of her" so she takes it personally and likened it to telling someone "I don't like your child".

I don't expect other people to tolerate my toddler climbing on them, and always do my best to ensure she is not a pain to others. I think dog owners should do the same.

Also, dogs are not extensions of their owners. She's being weird.

Her dog sounds untrained which is a PITA even if you do love dogs. And if it’s dragging it’s bum on the floor leaving poo stains it needs to go to the vet, that’s rank 🤮.

In saying that, I wouldn’t be good friends with someone who doesn’t like dogs. We’d be acquaintances at best. I have nothing against people who don’t like dogs, I do understand their reasons why but we would just be quite different people and probably wouldn’t gel at a deep enough level to actually be friends. Thankfully I work in the veterinary industry, come from an animal lover family and my hobbies are animal related ones so it’s easy enough to find friends who do like dogs/animals in general😁.

To answer your question, yes I do think it would be quite normal for people to get offended if you don’t like their dog but most would realize they are being unreasonable and would keep that to themselves whilst ensuring the dog was shut away if you visited etc. I think like another poster said, if you want to continue being friends you may be best suggesting meeting at non dog friendly places.

I have a friend who has a staffie
hes a lovely dog,but he’s never had a days training in his life-she refuses to train him as she doesn’t want to ‘upset’ him
im sick of walking into her house,to have 5 stone of smelly dog (she never baths him-even if he’s been rolling round in fox shit)on top of me,ripping out my hair and digging into my skin (he’s torn my clothes a few times-she just laughs)
she refuses to worm/flea him (she doesn’t like using medication on him) so he’s always dragging his arse on the floor and although I’ve never seen fleas on him,the thought makes me cringe-it’s a matter of time
he gets a walk maybe twice a week so he’s full of energy which bursts out as soon as he sees anyone he knows
hes had her flat on her face a few times as she can’t control him
he goes where he wants,when he wants in the house and thinks he can do the same anywhere-not in my house he’s not

i adore dogs but I’m having to avoid him-which is a shame but I can’t do it anymore

I have 3 dogs. But I hate the idea of them, or anyone else's dog, being all over me. And I'd never let my dogs invade someone's personal space who was clearly uncomfortable with it. Some people just don't love dogs and there's nothing wrong with that.

Dog owners (and indeed parents) who think the world revolves around them varying appendages show themselves to be lacking in empathy and emotional intelligence. No one should be glad to be slobbered on or humped by some disgusting creature. I’d avoid.

If a dog is dragging its bum across the floor, it needs worming.

I love dogs, but I appreciate that not everyone does (though I'm a bit suspicious of people who actively dislike dogs) and don't take dislike of my dogs personally. And although I love dogs, I don't enjoy the company of ill-mannered ones. I think that's pretty standard for dog owners.

I'll start this by saying that the dogs' behaviour is clearly unacceptable and it clearly needs training (and it's anal glands need looking at if it scoots and leaves poo on the floor!).

But I do see where your friend is coming from. I'd be quite hurt if someone so visibly disliked my dog - especially if it was for doing something he couldn't help (sneezing). I mean - he's not a person. He can't put his paw over his mouth or carry a tissue around with him Of course I'm not saying it's nice to be sneezed on but it's not like anyone can stop it from happening either.

Honestly, if you really dislike the dog so much it would be kinder if you just didn't spend any time with it rather than pushing it away and being "visibly annoyed" at its existence.

I love dogs I have 4 and I adore them. In my mind I want everyone to love them too but that's just not realistic. I'm used to the dog hair and the bad habits some dogs have but others aren't and I've learnt that's ok. My mam won't have my dogs in her car as she hates dog hair and likes her car pristine and that's her choice it's her car. I've learnt not to take it personally. As long as i love them that's all that matters. You are allowed to not be keen on her dog don't feel bad.

I have a friend like this the dogs are their total life, as a dog owner myself I find it weird.

Stick to your guns, you don't want it near you and why should it stink up your car. Unless a total emergency she can look for someone else to help transport the dog. Some tacos will take them.

It's her issue. Don't feel bad. Stinky badly trained dogs are the worse. And don't let him in your car.

I think it rude of owners to let their dog clamber over you, especially when they know you're not keen.
I would avoid going to her house if that's the only way.