I can’t get over losing my dog, the grief is overwhelming

[JustlookingNotbuying]

My darling little Archie had to be pts 3 weeks ago.
He had battled cancer twice and so well in the last two years but sadly we discovered in July this year that it had returned in his liver and was aggressive.
As a family we were obviously devastated. I know they miss him deeply but dh and the kids have been able to get on with things but Archie was my shadow, my best mate. He was with me almost 24/7 and I just can not get over losing him. I work in 2 hour blocks at a time so he was hardly ever alone, he slept on our bed, came on holidays with us, was hardly ever alone.
When we got him at 6 months old, 10 years ago, I was very low at the time and he really helped me with that.
We would go on 3 walks a day, lots of exercise and fresh air in the countryside helped us both. We met lots of new friends on our walks. And I even rekindled an old friendship as she also has a dog the same age and we would meet up every week.
Since he left, the darkness has come over again. Every inch of my house reminds me of him.
Friends mean well, I know. But so many keep asking when I will get another dog, as though Archie was a worn out pair of shoes I can just replace with new ones. I can not imagine living the rest of my life without a dog as to me they are life but right now the place in my heart is for Archie and him alone.
I wake up heavy hearted, go to bed crying and just feel like I’ve lost a limb. Nothing seems right anymore.
I know I gave him the best life and many poor dogs don’t have that privilege and one day I will open my heart to one (hopefully two) of those less fortune lovelies but right now nothing will help me with this black hole in my life.
He was my shadow, my wingman and now he’s just a box of ashes on my dresser.
How on earth does anyone get over this?

Like any bereavement, you don't get over it, so don't put that pressure on yourself. You never get over a death. Over time you adjust to the loss, which is not the same thing. It's very early days, so just let yourself mourn. It's OK to feel like this.

Another dog may be right in the long-term. It was for us, even though we couldn't contemplate it for a long time. But another dog will never replace your lovely Archie X

Ah what a lovely little dog

I’m so sorry for your loss and I think this sort of grief is entirely understandable when you have loved a dog and they’ve been such an enemies part of every aspect
of your life. My dog is ten and a half and sometimes I find myself sobbing about her not being here one day so I can only imagine what it will be like when the inevitable occurs.

Have you thought about something like this

www.bluecross.org.uk/pet-bereavement-and-pet-loss

💐

Sorry such an ENORMOUS part of your life not what I wrote

Thank you, I know you are both right.
Whiskeypowers hopefully you have many happy years left with your lovely dog. Thank you for that link, I really think I need that right now.

So sorry for your loss. Losing your best friend is a bereavement just like any other. Time doesn’t heal us, it just gives distance between us and the immense pain and loss you are feeling right now.
we lost our boy 3 years ago now and I still cry as I miss him so much. He will forever be part of our family.
Allow yourself to grieve, think about some talk therapy and be kind and gentle with yourself x

I'm so sorry OP. Your post really moved me.

I don't have a dog, for a few reasons. One is that I dread the thought of the grief when we lose them.

We had a Labrador many years ago, I had left home but my younger brother got the dog really. Sadly she had to be PTS at 4 - my mum has never got over it, you can't really mention her name. I know that's probably somewhat OTT as a response but just saying I can utterly empathise with the grief you are dealing with

I think as others say, all you can do is go through it, and the loss will become gradually easier to bear 💐

3 weeks is still early days, your grieving. It sounds like you had such a special bond together. Give yourself some time, and as above maybe seek out some talking therapy.

look after yourself x

Losing a much loved pet is to me no different to losing any other family member so time is the answer 💐 , you don’t get over it you learn to live with it . Whether you get another dog is entirely your decision but it’s never a replacement it’s an addition to your family that you will hopefully grow to love .

I'm so sorry for you. It's only been three weeks. My Kipper died last October and it still hurts. I think about her most days but with each day it gets better and you will be ok. Just keep putting one foot in front of the other.

I've looked after some of my friends dogs this summer and it's been lovely. I feel that has helped. It's not the same but a good furry cuddle is very restorative.

Archie looks beautiful!
My boy is 8 this year and I am dreading the day already
He was our first dog and I must admit that before him I would be a bit at people who lost their dogs but I now understand- they are not just pets, they are part of the family
I would also argue that if you have teenagers they are a life saver!!

I’m so sorry. He looks like a proper little character and he helped you through so much.
Just take it day by day. At 3 weeks I was still crying every day and I actually scheduled it in to my day, so I could go upstairs have a cry.
You do get over it, I promise, this overwhelming grief, but you’ll never, ever forget him and what he means to you.
I spoke to friends and family who had lost dogs and it helped to speak to people who had been there. Anyone who was ‘just a dog’ about it got ignored.

I still miss my Girl, even though we have another dog now (waited 2 years before deciding). It’s a sweet, fleeting grief though and manageable.

So sorry for your loss OP. I was on your other thread OP and had my dog PTS around the same time. My lovely girl was 12 and we'd been together practically 24/7 since she was 10 weeks old, she was unwell with her heart for a long time and we managed with medication, but towards the end I had many nights staying awake/sleeping downstairs with her when she wasn't doing too well. My whole life revolved around her, I don't have any children and I work from home. She was the reason I got out of bed every day and I've been so so lost without her.

I felt a little better when I picked up her ashes knowing that she's at home with me where she belongs. I'm also getting another puppy in a week or so and honestly it's the only thing that's keeping me going because I just don't know how to be without a dog.

Buying stuff for a new little pup and puppy proofing my house has stopped me from going to a very dark place. I miss my pal so much all day every day and she will never be replaced in my heart or mind but space will be made to love a new puppy and I'll give it the best life that I can just like I did her. I'm looking forward to starting a new adventure and getting to know all the little quirks of my new friend.

I hope you find some peace soon OP, they are with us such a short space of time but stay in our hearts forever. I so wish we could have them longer.

Your most made me well up, my heart goes out to you, my dog is very poorly and soon I will be facing the inevitable, I can’t even begin to imagine my life without her, even the thought is unbearable let alone the reality, I know I will feel exactly like you, utterly devastated, lost and heartbroken. I wish I could say something to make it easier, the one crumb of comfort is Archie didn’t lose you, he never had to go through the grief of losing his mum, maybe look at the pain you are carrying now as something you are doing for Archie so he didn’t suffer as you are now. I really hope you find some comfort soon

Hi OP. I am so sorry for your loss. I lost my DDog 8 months ago and I still cry over him and not a day goes by when I don’t think about him and talk to him every morning. Like you he went everywhere with me, he was a very special boy. I have lost very close human family members but when my DDog died, a piece of me did too.

We went and rescued another dog 3 weeks after he died as the house was desolate without him and my DS was really struggling. Our new boy has helped immensely. He will never replace my DDog but we are a doggie home and he needed someone to love him and take care of him.It warms my heart when we go for our walks, snuggle on the couch and when he does something funny. He’s like my DDog but so much different too and he has managed to put a smile on my face again. I’m not sure I will ever get over my DDog (crying here writing this) but I know I was so lucky to have had him in my life and you were too with your Archie. He was a very lucky boy to have you too. Sending you a big hug 🤗

I lost my beloved boy in February. For two years he had battled cancer, had ops, chemo etc I even paid thousands out to give him a new type of chemo, which he had a good response to initially. He went down hill very quickly, the tumour on his throat grew massively within a couple of days. I don't know how I physically drove him to the vets to have him PTS. I just knew if I hadn't he might have suffered an agonising death that night. I have to remind myself everyday that he must have been in a bad way for me to have forced myself to do that. I had him from 7 weeks old. He was thirteen which was a good age for a big dog. He was my shadow, I was with him 24 hours a day and I loved him as if he was my baby. I'll never get over it and I'll never get another dog, although I have started to support a local dog charity in his name. I know I just have to learn to live with it and remember what a happy life he had and that he knew he was loved. I'll never forget him. I hope you can find some kind of peace and find a way to carry on, remembering only the happy times.

Oh he’s gorgeous.
God, it breaks you, doesn’t it. I lost my gorgeous girl nearly two years ago. It does get easier, but I still long for her and miss her so much.
Take care of yourself, OP.

What a beautiful boy. 3 weeks is early days. It’s also when I called up Battersea and asked for an “small old dog”
He’s a dream and although I’d rather have my darling girl, she was 15 and we’d had her since a pup, it’s filled a gap and made the grief bearable.

The more love you have for someone or your pet, the bigger the grief. You will learn to carry that grief in your pocket over time. It will always be there but you cope better with it. Your little dog was gorgeous and you clearly gave him the most wonderful life. He is still by your side xx

What a gorgeous boy. Im really sorry for your loss.

In my experience, the best way to heal your heart is to get another dog. Its not a replacement, as they arent replaceable, but it gives you someone to love in its own right and its just not right to be without a dog for too long. We did this and its a bit weird at first but it really helps more than you might think x

We got through this by getting a puppy as our dogs got middle aged we actually had three at one stage. But we're older now OH has health issues so 45 years later we're down to one dog. 8 years old. It's a hell of a mortality check when you realise that there's never going to be another puppy

Oh op he is so gorgeous 🥲. I have no words of wisdom really only to say time does make things easier. I
Lost my "shadow" last year. I was devastated. I didn't think I'd get over it. He was a massive part of my life for fifteen years.
I have got another dog now (quite soon after) but I still shed a little tear this morning when he came up on my Facebook memories.

I promise though, it gets easier and you won't cry as much but it will take time ❤️

Oh what a gorgeous boy! I’m so sorry for your loss.
You’ve lost a family member so just give yourself time. My lovely dog was PTS almost 3 weeks ago too. I know it was the right decision for her and it has brought me peace. I did have a Guinea pig PTS in Feb 2020 and that was very complicated. I think about him every day and miss him so much. That one still hurts whenever I think of him.

I'm sorry for your loss. I still remember the raw pain when I lost my dog. It physically hurt my chest. I cried every day for weeks.

It's a cliche but time is all that helps. Now I can think of her and smile at the memories. It took a while though.

I think it helped that I had 3 other dogs. So I didn't get that total feeling of emptiness in the home without a dog.

Two of my others are old now and I dread the day. One is especially special to me. He's protected me from harm, lay with me for hours when I was poorly from cancer treatment etc. I just can't imagine my life without him in it tbh.

Once again, I'm so sorry for your loss. He was a gorgeous dog x

I'm so sorry! What a beautiful boy! Your post made me cry!

Grief has no time limit one day I think you will think of him and find yourself smiling instead of crying. It never gets easier but eventually some of the memories you can look back on happily.

3 weeks is so early! You will know when it's right to open your heart for another

I know exactly what you are going through. I lost my dog suddenly last week to bone cancer. Didn't see that coming, one minute we thought he was stiff with arthritis but X-rays and biopsy showed cancer.

He deteriorated rapidly within days and went off his legs and we had to let him go.

I am beyond devastated. But we will be getting another dog this year. We have a good home to offer another dog and so much love.

I think having the love and trust of a dog is too precious to only have once in your life. My dog led me to meeting some lovely people and have some fantastic experiences. Yes it's really hurt me to lose my boy but I won't let that pain stop me loving another one.

Just to let you know though, you are not alone. I've been sobbing daily and never knew my heart could hurt that much.