I can’t get over losing my dog, the grief is overwhelming

[JustlookingNotbuying]

My darling little Archie had to be pts 3 weeks ago.
He had battled cancer twice and so well in the last two years but sadly we discovered in July this year that it had returned in his liver and was aggressive.
As a family we were obviously devastated. I know they miss him deeply but dh and the kids have been able to get on with things but Archie was my shadow, my best mate. He was with me almost 24/7 and I just can not get over losing him. I work in 2 hour blocks at a time so he was hardly ever alone, he slept on our bed, came on holidays with us, was hardly ever alone.
When we got him at 6 months old, 10 years ago, I was very low at the time and he really helped me with that.
We would go on 3 walks a day, lots of exercise and fresh air in the countryside helped us both. We met lots of new friends on our walks. And I even rekindled an old friendship as she also has a dog the same age and we would meet up every week.
Since he left, the darkness has come over again. Every inch of my house reminds me of him.
Friends mean well, I know. But so many keep asking when I will get another dog, as though Archie was a worn out pair of shoes I can just replace with new ones. I can not imagine living the rest of my life without a dog as to me they are life but right now the place in my heart is for Archie and him alone.
I wake up heavy hearted, go to bed crying and just feel like I’ve lost a limb. Nothing seems right anymore.
I know I gave him the best life and many poor dogs don’t have that privilege and one day I will open my heart to one (hopefully two) of those less fortune lovelies but right now nothing will help me with this black hole in my life.
He was my shadow, my wingman and now he’s just a box of ashes on my dresser.
How on earth does anyone get over this?

@Flossyhair that’s what happened to our first Girl. It seemed especially cruel, somehow

Hiya I'm so sorry for your loss.
Archie was a beautiful boy and he will be watching over you-you gave him the best life.
I've lost 3 of my dogs
Judy-who was a border collie who passed at 13.
Sam -lurcher also 13
Max -he was only 7 years old and had kidney failure
My heart was broken after loosing everyone of my babies ..loving another dog really helped heal my heart.
I wasn't replacing the previous dog I could never do that ..I was just loving another.
Now I have buddy who is 1 and is a whippet and has healed my broken heart
Do it When it feels right but in the mean time Archie was so lucky to have you and you him.❤️

Such a cutie.

I was absolutely devastated when my dog died. It takes time to get through the grief, and you can't rush it. I still think about her everyday, but most of the time its happy memories now.

Once I was ready, I got my new dog. She's brought so much joy and happiness and made the house feel full again. I don't feel like I've replaced my other dog. In fact, I feel like I own two dogs. One here and one waiting for me on the other side.

Archie is one of a kind I can see his personality in that cute face.

You have my deepest sympathy 💔💐

So sorry to hear this OP. Archie was beautiful. Give yourself time and space to grieve.

We are all different - but the only thing that ever helped me was getting another.

They never replace the dog that occupied that space in your heart - but you discover your heart has more space in it than you realised - they find their own.

I still mourn one particular girl - who died 20yrs ago - she was my very special soulmate - but it doesn't stop me loving and enjoying the dogs since her.

My sister felt like you do OP when she lost her adored cat. She was also very low due to a relationship breakdown and was in a very bad place. I know you said you're not ready to get another dog, but honestly it could be the best thing. My sister got another cat really quickly, he is totally different to her old one, different personality, young not old, looks different, etc, but he quite literally saved her. She was suicidal and said the one thing that kept her going was knowing he depended on her. It's a couple of years down the line now and she says she did the right thing in replacing her beloved cat quickly. My DM does the same - she's had lots of cats and loved them all, but she always gets a new one quickly and although she continues to grieve the old one, it gives her a focus. In terms of 3x daily dog walks too, I bet you really miss those and the lack of them isn't helping your MH - getting a new dog would at least fill that gap.

I’m so sorry. I had a therapist say to me that animals make a little hollow in your heart. When they die the hollow is empty which is why it hurts so much. When you get a new animal they don’t fill that hollow, they make a new one for themselves. It doesn’t fill the old one but it pushes up the edges to make it easier to bear.

My old boy died a few years ago and I still miss him. "Time is a healer" is a common phrase, but I don't think that's entirely accurate, in as much as you don't necessarily get over the death but rather you learn to adjust to the loss. The bad days gradually get fewer and there comes a time when hopefully the days we can remember them and smile rather than cry become more frequent. That's what I've found anyway. But it's always painful and 3 weeks is no time at all. So sorry about Archie, what a sweet looking little dog

I'm so sorry for your loss.You sound like incredible dog owners.It about broke me losing my GSD very suddenly in 2019,I didn't even get to say goodbye.He was the absolute light of my life;I have two other dogs but there was just something about him,he was a real mums boy;his paw prints will be etched on my heart forever.

The one good thing to come out of this loss is that you'll be able when ready to offer a wonderful home to another dog deserving of one.

I’m crying for you reading your post😢😢 devastating. It’s one of the toughest bereavements to lose a dog & my heart goes out to you. Archie is beautiful💙

my dog is 10.5 & there’s not a day goes by where I don’t think about when he’s not here & will be exactly the same. My DD (6) has grown up with him so I will be dealing with mine & her heartbreak & I just don’t know how I will get over it.

if I could keep my dog forever & forfeit having any other pet, I would. I adore him every day of my life & he gets included in everything & treat like royalty-exactly what he deserves.

I am so sorry for your loss.

Aww, he looks such a lovely boy - no wonder you're heartbroken. He's not just a box of ashes on your dresser - he's all the joyful memories in your heart. It hurts so much because you loved him so much. And maybe you can take some solace in knowing you gave him the best life.

Oh I am so sorry, look at that precious face! Sounds like you and he had such happy times when he was well. Only time is going to help here unfortunately. Be proud of yourself that you were able to think of him and give him a gentle end rather than actually dying of the cancer. He wouldn't have felt sorry for himself and wouldn't want you upset. They aren't just pets when they have been through so much with us, I totally understand your devastation xx

I fully understand how you feel, I've lost both my girls in the past year, both quite quickly and I'm heartbroken, not a day passes I don't think of them.
Sadly, we do only have them for such a short time, the loss is profound.
Reassure yourself that Archie had a life full of love and one day you'll feel ready to give that love to another dog.

Archie looks like he had a huge character, no wonder he held such a special place in your heart. I think our animals bring out the best in us. They aren't 'just' pets. They're there, beside us, not saying anything, but knowing by instinct how we feel. We depend on them, they depend on us.

You gave Archie such a wonderful life, it's there, in the cheeky confidence in his photo.

I still shed the odd tear over my Lab I lost almost 17 years ago, and over beloved boy who was PTS last year. Tears honour their memory. But Painlesspup is here and has made his own place in my heart. The grief of losing a dog is very intense and very pure, as we don't have the administrative tasks associated with a human. All we can do is grieve them, and when the time is right offer another dog that great love to guard for his lifetime. Grief is the price we pay for love and we get the best of it from dogs. All that overwhelming pain is worth it for the joy of the preceding years.

He's adorable, and I'm so sorry for your loss. It's absolutely heartbreaking, I'm dreading the day we lose one of ours don't put any pressure on yourself, and allow yourself to grieve. You've lost a close member of your family.

Thank you all so much for your lovely replies.
I started to read them earlier but couldn’t see past the tears as your replies were so touching.
I have just read every one. I am sorry I made some of you cry and so sorry for your losses too. It is beyond heartbreaking and I know the rawness of this eases as time presses on.
I would, one day love to give little dog a loving home, especially one from a shelter but for the time being I have registered with Borrow My Doggy, hopefully just being with a dog a few times a week will fill some kind of gap.
Thanks again, everyone, I knew you would all understand

Sorry for your loss. He was a valued member of your family and it looks like he had a fantastic life with you. Give yourself time to grieve and one day when you are ready you will give another little dog the best life. X

It's just so hard .
I've lost a lot of dogs over the years and it never gets easier . I tell myself each and every one of them had a wonderful life but age caught up with them all .
Funnily enough a rescue centre asked me to foster a dog in need two weeks after losing my last dog and I said yes because I wouldn't turn away a dog in need and he in fact helped me through the worst of the weeks by giving me a focus . Needless to say he was a foster fail and he's been here 4 yrs now

OP, What a cute little fellah he was.

I am sorry for your pain. x

This may help;

www.bluecross.org.uk/pet-bereavement-and-pet-loss?gclid=EAIaIQobChMImozQv4PW-QIVSbDtCh2-7wyJEAAYASAAEgL15vD_BwE

The only thing that helped me was going to the shelter and getting a dog out that badly needed a home. It's very heartwarming thing to do and gave me a new focus. You can never replace your dog but something good can come from his loss. A new life and a family for a dog in need.

noclothesinbed I really think you are right, I just don’t know when the right time will be.
I’ve started looking at the rescue sights and it’s breaking my heart just how many there are.

Oh OP I really feel for you. We lost this guy in June. He was grumpy and ornery and stubborn. And he was the best dog in the whole world. We will never forget him. Three months have passed and I’m still welling up just writing about him. Losing our hairy boy is also the only time I’ve seen my partner cry in thirty years. It’s just heartbreaking and a major design flaw in otherwise perfect creatures. As everyone has already said, the pain doesn’t go away but you do move past the raw stage into a kind of acceptance and then you start to look back and think about how lucky you both were to find each other. Your Archie wouldn’t have swapped one day with you for all the doggy treats in the world. He would still be with you if he could be.

JimmyGrimble Oh bless you. What an absolute gorgeous boy he was, I am so sorry for your loss. It’s so tough isn’t it? It will be 4 weeks this Monday and I have not gone past one day without tears. The weekends are the worst for some reason and I bawl all Saturday and Sunday. I know it’s the price we have to pay for loving so hard but it is a tough journey.