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The doghouse

If you're worried about your pet's health, please speak to a vet or qualified professional.

Original poster

Dog being pts - be there or not? Urgent.

153 replies

Shemakeslists · 24/06/2022 10:29

I love my dog with all my heart. He’s very old. Getting more and more wobbly. Currently at the vet’s. Was settled and calm/sleepy when I left him, in his old bed. The vet says if he doesn’t rally and they think he’s v I’ll, they will recommend euthanising him TODAY. This is obviously v sad and distressing for me but I’ll do what’s best for my dog, as I always have. My question is - if this is the decision - should I be there as it happens? I ask because I know I’ll be upset and I know he’ll know I’m upset. Will that really help him? If he was having an op and they gave him anaesthetic, I wouldn’t be there. To reiterate - this isn’t about big old me, it’s about my lovely old dog.

Kind and helpful thoughts much appreciated. Urgent.

Thank you. 😢

OP posts:
Polkadotties · 24/06/2022 11:02

Please be with your dog. I have vowed to be with all of my animals at the end. I owe it to them

JuneJubilee · 24/06/2022 11:02

I'm so sorry you're going through this x

Definitely be there, your presence will bring comfort, talk to him, he needs you 🐾 🌈

SiblingStruggle · 24/06/2022 11:02

Definitely be there with him. You can stroke his head and he will feel loved and at peace. He will know you are upset but you will still be a huge comfort. Sending lots of love as even the thought of it makes me want to cry xx

BigFatLiar · 24/06/2022 11:02

Be there for him. Is there someone who can go with you? One of our friends had his dog pts and was totally broken after. Big rough tough guy but loved loved his dog.

JuneJubilee · 24/06/2022 11:03

Polkadotties · 24/06/2022 11:02

Please be with your dog. I have vowed to be with all of my animals at the end. I owe it to them

It's not always possible.

Disneygirl37 · 24/06/2022 11:03

RevoltingHumanHead · 24/06/2022 10:54

Has anyone had their dog pts at home? Googling shows me it's a thing that you can organise. I think my dog would much prefer that when the time comes. He haaates the vet and I'd hate for him to spend his last moments in his least favourite place.

Yes we did. Our dog got very stressed at the vets. Our vet came to our house with a vetinary nurse. We were all there with him. It was one of the hardest things I've had to do but so glad he was at home, we all cuddled him then layed him in his bed and stroked him until he was gone. The vet had a long line to administer the medication so we could all be near him.

NCTDN · 24/06/2022 11:05

Oh how sad Sad but it's doing what's best for him. I'd want to be there to reassure him.

Arnaquer · 24/06/2022 11:06

Geordielass1987 · 24/06/2022 10:31

some vets say in the final moments of the dogs life they look for their owner. Please please please be with him, I’m sorry.

I have read this too. You owe it to your dog to be there.

shrodingersvaccine · 24/06/2022 11:06

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ.

Yiayoula · 24/06/2022 11:06

Another one saying yes, you need to be with him at the end .
If he can be PTS in his own home, so much the better - but if he’s settled and relatively relaxed at the vet, then that’s fine too.

It’s heartbreaking , and awful - but bluntly, it’s about his comfort , not yours.
So sorry it’s come to this . 💐 xx

Original poster
Shemakeslists · 24/06/2022 11:06

Thank you everyone - much appreciate your kindness and advice. Typing through tears.

@RevoltingHumanHead I did ask
about a home visit when we thought we might lose him last month but vet said no they don’t really do that. Think he said they weren’t supposed to for some reason but as darling doggie rallied I didn’t probe further.

@SillyLittleBiscuit I'm trying to work too! Not easy is it? At least no Zooms today. 😢

Condolences to all of you who have loved and lost. Xx

OP posts:
LolaJ87 · 24/06/2022 11:06

Definitely be there. He deserves to be stroked and told how loved he is. Even if you're upset, you'll be together at the end which will be very comforting to him. They give us so much love, it's not right that they should go alone.

resuwen · 24/06/2022 11:06

Absolutely be there.

Pollywoddles · 24/06/2022 11:09

Be there. I don’t get people who leave their beloved pets alone at the end with a stranger. They’d be far more distressed without you there.

My almost 16 year old dog was put to sleep at Christmas due to kidney failure. It’s was time and we both knew it. I held it together while the vet gave her a morphine injection to send her to sleep before giving her the pentobarbital. She went to sleep calmly in my arms.

It’s not a pleasant experience but it’s one I wouldn’t see her do on her own.

worriedatthistime · 24/06/2022 11:10

I would be there for him if you can, as owners they trust us and look for us and just being able to sit with them and help keep them calm and no you were their to the end is a comfort in the long run

Giggorata · 24/06/2022 11:17

My beloved old boy died in my arms, in the back of my van, which was his happy place, as we always went away together in it. The vet was happy to get in with us and it was the best I could do for him.
We'd also had a nice morning beforehand, with double pain killers, a stroll by the river and ice cream.

My rapidly ageing lab will need to be sent off at home, if we have to do that, as she isn't happy or settled anywhere else. But she will be in arms and being told that she is the best girl.

None of my dogs will ever be alone, if I can help it.

REP22 · 24/06/2022 11:24

I am so sorry. It's a very cruel thing that dogs' lives are so short compared to our own. I was with all of my dogs at the end. My last dog was PTS only a month ago, she was 10 but had a massive inoperable tumour.

My experience (and I also used to work at a vets, so have lots of experience, unfortunately) is that it is a dignified peaceful end. It is an act of love and the last favour that you can do to a much loved friend. You can stroke them as they pass with words of love and thanks for all they gave to you in life and you will know that their very last moments of life were relaxed and pain free.

You can also ask for a clipping of fur and a paw-print. Also, when the time comes, there's an option for a private cremation and the return of your friend's ashes (there's a wonderful firm called "Dignity" here (South England) that does such things).

Thank you for being brave enough to do the right thing for your friend when he needs you most. Sending you every good wish, deepest sympathy and strength for the coming days. xx

user1486915549 · 24/06/2022 11:26

Be brave. Be there. Quietly talk to him
They slip away very peacefully and that has always given me some comfort.
We will all be there with you ❤️

Champagneforeveryone · 24/06/2022 11:28

Be with him. Our old boy was PTS after a short but traumatic illness during Covid. After a short hospitalisation we had him home for a few days which I'm forever grateful for, but then suddenly crashed and was rushed back to the vets.
I was in self isolation from work, so DH and DS took him but due to restrictions were not allowed inside with him. Logically I know he was extremely unwell and we did the best thing at the time, but the fact he was alone (albeit with our lovely and compassionate vet staff) still nags at me all this time later.

Sending love to you and DDog ♥

StrawberryFizz27 · 24/06/2022 11:29

Please be there

WhenDovesFly · 24/06/2022 11:32

I'm so sorry OP to hear about your poor dog. I echo other responses that you should definitely be there if you can. Of course it will be horrendously emotional, but it's the last thing you can do for your pet. I wish you strength to get through this Flowers

fruitbrewhaha · 24/06/2022 11:36

Oh gosh O, it's so hard, but I would be there. My Dog died in my arms, not pts. I was so glad I was there holding her, I'm not sure how much she was aware but as she took her last breaths she put her head on my leg. I'm so glad I was there and it didn't happen in the night or while I was out.

uhtredbebbanburg · 24/06/2022 11:38

Oh, it's so horrible isn't it? It's hard but be there for him. I was there with my dog, she had her head in my lap after I gave her a big bowl of mince that I took to the vet with me. I'm so glad I was there though it still makes me a bit teary thinking about it now and it was in 2016. Hugs to you.

Justtobeclear · 24/06/2022 11:38

Definitely be there. Having worked in a vets I know that the vet/nurse will be caring and compassionate but being there for your pet is a special moment for both of you & isn’t as scary as people think or will be. @Champagneforeveryone obviously i wasn’t there at your boys passing but I worked during covid and wanted to reassure you that he would’ve been surrounded by love and comfort from the team with him. I had the privilege of holding/hugs/comfort during a few pts where the owners couldn’t be there and we treated each one as we would’ve wanted our own pets to be.

FictionalCharacter · 24/06/2022 11:43

Please be there. A vet wrote an article recently saying exactly that, because dogs look for their owners. Your company will be a big comfort to him.

My old boy was pts a few months ago. I was helped hugely by a MNer who said she fed her dog bits of chicken at the end. I did the same and it was a great distraction for both of us. Lots of cuddles from the family, nice snacks out of my hand and that was it. No pain or distress. He wasn’t afraid.

My aim is always to not let the pet know anything’s up. It’s hard to swallow the tears and seem calm, but I concentrated on just loving him and thinking he’s going to have a nice sleep, telling him he was a very good boy and giving him cuddles and rubs. When he slipped away I held him and told him we were there. I held back the floodgates until we left the surgery. I miss him terribly and I’m tearing up even now.

So sorry about your dog. This is such a painful time. Give yourself time to grieve 💐

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