Old dog... How do you know when its 'time'?

[lonelylou09]

My Ddog is 13 and always been super active but the last 18 months shes suffered with arthritis in her hind legs. Not too bad.. She just lost her bounce but still enjoying life very much.
The last 6 months she started acting oddly... Pacing around and standing staring at nothing so the vet said it was most likely dementia.
The last 2 weeks shes gone really downhill. Accidents getting more frequent, shes very restless and after over a year of not spending time in the garden shes taken to either laying out there or pacing around and staring at nothing.
Then a week ago she didn't get up and i realised that she couldn't actually get up. I kneeled over her sobbing and once i got her up she was fine. I took her the vets the next day thinking this is it and yet she was having such a good day he said it wasnt time yet and i would just 'know when the time comes' and basically to take each day at a time until the bad days outweigh the good.
Since then she had 2 ok days but the last couple of days have been hard.
I helped her up this morning but her legs where so weak and shes now incontinent.
I feel like obviously I want her to live forever and dont want to lose any time with her but also its really killing me watching her being so restless and so weak.. I dont think I want her to get worse.
Ive known people that just help the dogs up and clean up the mess and keep them going but surely thats not in the dogs best interest?
Everyone tells me ill know when its time but how?

You know it's time when their quality of life is no longer good.

Forgive me for saying so, but it sounds like it's time to let her go. It has to be about her needs now, and part of being a good owner (which you are, it's obvious from your post how much you love her) is making the decision at the right time.

I'm sorry, I know how hard it is.

Picture yourself in the same condition as your dog. DS had a dog in the same situation and waited until it stopped eating. It really wasn’t fair on the dog. No one - dog or human - can live forever and you are in a position to put your dog out of its suffering which is more than we are allowed to do for humans.

As your vet has said, you will know when it’s time. She will no longer have any good/ok days and probably won’t be able to get up at all.
it is horrible and I feel for you. The only advice I can offer is that when you decide it is the right time maybe consider arranging for the vet to come to your home to put her to sleep ( if finances allow of course).
sending you and your dog a big hug.

I knew it was time when my dog's legs gave way and she became incontinent .It was the hardest thing I have had to do but the vet came to the house and i talked and stroked her to the end.It is the last and kindest thing you can do.

I am at the end stages with my boy and I am completely devastated and heartbroken. He is 14, been completely spoilt, and wanted for nothing his whole life and its been a good life. He has arthritis and an uncurable disease, his legs are wobby but he still potters about and is continent. I have always said when he can't get up by himself or becomes incontinent then that will be the time as it isn't fair on him.
OP I really do feel for you but you know you pup the best and you will make the best decision for you all. Sending you un MN hugs. 💐

We're in the same position, almost 17 yo lab. His back legs are weak and he needs a hand to get up, but then once he's up he's ok and asking to go for his (very short) walk. We get poo in his bed most mornings and have for a little while, but he's still been obviously happy. This week he just seems tired, and not waggy and happy anymore, although nothing has physicaly changed any further, so I think we're there now.

What an adorable dog!

I live with the regret of listening to my vet and left my cat at best a day too late.

Trust your instincts. I now have 3 cats and a dog and can't bare the thought.

“Better a day too early than a day too late. “
The heartache and mourning is devastating. Do the last good thing for doggy & let your voice soothing her be the last voice she hears. Stay with her. She will look towards you for reassurance. Don’t desert her.
I’ve been there recently & we never quite get over it.
Big hug. X

We lost our girl a year ago last February. She was also 13 and had deteriorated quickly since Christmas. On her final day she couldn't move from one spot and wet herself. I knew then that we would have to take her to the vet. She actually died in DH's arms on the way there.
You'll know when you look into your dog's eyes - they will tell you. Sending strength and hugs x

Thank you everyone. I called the vets yesterday and I've booked her in for tomorrow. She seems worse in the mornings as she can't lie down properly now so I think she is extra stiff when she does get up. The last couple of mornings Ive had to help her up but yesterday one of her legs went when she was out in the garden which broke my heart. Once id got her up again she was ok but I cant be one of those people who keeps there dog going like that.
She seemed tired yesterday but we lay in the garden and she enjoyed the sun, lots of treats and cuddles.
Weve dealt with almost daily poop accidents for a little while now but now she seems to be losing her bladder control also.
Maybe I should of taken her in yesterday but she was content once she was up and about and I didnt want to rush her in in a panic. Im going to have to drive her in and bring her back myself so I need to be mentally prepared for that too.

My other half said shes ok once shes past the morning bit but I know shes not really and I dont want to prolong it.
Sadly my vets werent able to arrange a home visit but it is at least our favourite vet that she will see and as much as it will kill me I will be with her. Thats the least I can do for everything shes given us as a family for the last 12 years.
Thank you all for your kindness and comments. To some its just a dog.. But for us.. They are so much more than that xx

I am so sorry to read this but you are doing the right thing by your dog. With us it was definitely a day too late with our cat but I went with what the vet said. I hope you are able to have today together with lots of cuddles and treats, take photos if that is your comfort and be kind to yourself. It is heartbreaking.

I had almost the same scenario with both my dogs. For me, I didn't want them to get to a point where they couldn't get up. We got to the same stage you are at and realised it was 'time'. Worse days ever.

Ultimately, I take comfort in making sure they had a good death. They had all their favourite food, we all loved them up ( crying now), and held them as they went. They were ready.

I'm sorry to hear this OP, just remember she will thank you for not prolonging her pain. She is a beautiful dog.

We're at that stage now with our ddog. He's a rejected twice rescue. We've had him since 16 months and he's 15 now. He's miserable and just paces around at night. Does the staring. He's been a wonderful dog. I'm devastated but we know it's time now.
Your dog is gorgeous OP. You're definitely doing the right thing ❤️
I'm going to have to find a vet who'll come out as he hates the vets. I don't want my last memory of him to be even worse.

@Giveitall yes definitely better a day too early than a day too late. Last week I was wrestling with myself that I didnt want to take any time away from her (and us) but this week feels different and we all as a family agree that we dont want her to get worse

@Juniper68 So sorry you are going through the same thing. I think I could of coped with the weak legs better but the dementia has been horrible as its changed her so much. Her personality, her habits ect. Watching her pacing around not knowing what to do is just the worst. Then she just stares but its like theres no one home.
I hope you manage to find a vet who will come out to your boy. I tried my best with mine but they are short staffed due to covid and although shes always hated the vets and crys as we approach... Last week she didn't as I dont think she remembered. So I'm consoling myself with that and at least it will be our own vet who she knows well.

@lonelylou09 totally understand.

I've just contacted the crematorium in our nearest town. A lady emailed straight back with the name of a vet who'll come out. Honestly it was instant and so compassionate.
I'm dreading telling my adult sons and best friends. One is 2nd mam. I don't think I can handle it as she'll go to pieces.

Sending love to you lonelylou09 ❤️

@spotcheck yes thats my worry. Im working full time as well sometimes 12 hour days and although my son and partner are home with her for most of that time i hate the thought of her being alone and not being able to stand.
I used to joke she was half mountain goat as she was so super bouncy... To see her struggle to stand is too hard for me

lonelylou09 have you asked the pet cremation services if they know a vet?

lonelylou09 we said the same about ddog. A mountain goat! He looks more like a 🦊 fox though.

What a gorgeous pup! Now there's a photo to enlarge and have on the wall if ever I saw one! You are absolutely showing the ultimate act of love that we as pet owners can perform. Fill today full of sausages and ice cream and send her on her way to peace with a wag in her tail. I will be thinking of you in the morning and sending you strength and the confirmation that you are absolutely doing the right thing helping your beautiful girl head over rainbow bridge.

There's mine 💞🐾

Once they start toileting in the house frequently, if they have been a clean dog all their life they will find this stressful

A vet once told me most dogs he PTS are 6 months too late, and have suffered. People hang on to them for there own benefits rather than what's best for the dog.

As soon as their quality of life declines. Which is normally very obvious but people tend to ignore as they don't want to let go.

@Juniper68 I'm bringing her home to go in the garden. We very sadly had to have our first samoyed pts suddenly at 3 years old when his organs started failing. We werent able to be with him as had just got back from dropping him at a specialist vets a 4 hour drive away so it was all we could do to go up and bring him back. So she will go close to him. They were the best of friends.
Also I live in the sticks so getting anyone to do anything was a nightmare even before covid.
I hope it all goes well for you. I did look into cremation and they do offer so many great services.. Paw prints ect.
My son is 22 now and is taking the day off work tomorrow to be around. It affects the whole family so much doesnt it.
Ive been having to take our younger dog out on separate walks for a few weeks now and everyone has remarked on it. I worry for him too as he wont know what to do without her. Xx