Golden retriever - snappy and reactive

[mamotamo]

We have a 13 month old Golden retriever who we have had since 9wks old. She is really lovely, affectionate, friendly and goofy - all the regular stuff you'd expect from a Golden retriever.

However, we have had a lot of issues with resource guarding since she was small and at around 5/6 months old we got a dog behaviourist and trainer come to the house to help with that. She still does resource guard but we actively manage situations so it's getting less frequent thankfully.

The breeder said that none of her own dogs have displayed any behavioural issues and no problems have been reported from any of the other puppies new owners.

Another issue we have (which could be linked to the resource guarding I guess) is that she can be quite reactive and the whole family (children are teenagers) have been bitten at this stage (once drawing blood). This definitely isn't play/puppy biting! Her whole demeanour changes - she moves fast and will lunge doing that horrible "attacking" sort of bark/growl and although most of the time she stops short of making contact with us, it's pretty unnerving!

I don't trust her at all and it makes me feel really sad because she CAN be absolutely fantastic and I see a lot of potential in her. However, I am always aware that she can turn with little "provocation"/warning and that we seem to have to "manage" her all the time.
We are strict with our teens about giving her space and we have told them what things seem to trigger her and signs to look out for which means they need to leave her be.

Getting her into the car, cutting her nails, washing her feet, sitting down next to her, opening cupboard doors next to her, getting too close to her, touching off her when she's sleeping, trying to get her off the couch/out of the flower beds, taking her harness off (and many more things) have caused this reaction - but, at times she's been absolutely fine with all the above and we have had NO issues doing these things.
There are loads of other examples which I can't think of right now (!) but basically, our experience of dog ownership isn't the same as what I see friends with their dogs experiencing.

I don't find it particularly relaxing even when she's relaxed and being affectionate because she gets narky so quickly, I'm always waiting for the bite/lunge/snarl to come!

We don't want to re-home her as we love her and most of the time she's great (albeit I'm always ready to back off if needed), however I really don't want to be having to ward off potential bites for the next 10-15yrs!

This isn't normal is it?
I know that no dog can ever be trusted 100% but I'm worn out worrying about this and trying to figure out whether we will always have to manage this behaviour or whether we can train her to be less reactive. I expected there to be a lot of work owning a dog but I really wasn't prepared for this kind of behaviour.

Has anyone experienced this and what was the outcome?

And most importantly, is it actually possible to de-sensitise a dog so that they are no longer reactive during normal day to day life??

She sounds very anxious. I would take her for a vet check and ask the vet to refer her to a behaviourist. She may need medicating.

sitting down next to her, opening cupboard doors next to her, getting too close to her, touching off her when she's sleeping Does she have somewhere safe to go in your house, so that she can sleep undisturbed?

I have a retriever who is five and my feeling is yours needs a full health check in case she has an injury or illness that has been missed.

She sounds anxious and scared rather than aggressive. I agree about a vet check but I'd look into some confidence building work with her too. There are some great confidence building dog courses available that you can do at home. It's slow progress but it's steady and it could make a real difference to how she perceives situations.

Does she have a crate or room she can escape to?

She doesn't sound aggressive, she sounds incredibly anxious and overwhelmed.

Oh no. That does not sound like typical golden retriever behaviour. Is your breeder a decent one?

I have a cocker spaniel with similar issues. It got to the point where I was going to have her pts as she was becoming very aggressive with my husband. I paid for a behaviourist to come out (most of the day) and assess her at home. She said that my fog felt she had to be the alpha dog but dunt actually want to be and that it was nervous aggression. She said the first thing was to keep her out of the lounge. That is our "den" and not hers. She has a crate with her bed in in the kitchen. Under no circumstances is she allowed on the furniture. By allowing her on the couch you are elevating her in the pecking order. Your dog us confused about where she is in the order of things and needs very firm boundaries to make her feel secure. It helped massively and our dog is much more settled and no longer aggressive

Thanks for the replies. She has had stomach issues since very young (now sorted) so she has been in and out of the vet, the vet is also aware of the biting as they experienced it too. The vet recommended the behaviourist that we had over to the house.

She has a bed in the kitchen (where we usually are) and another bed in the adjoining room (this room isn't used that much so it's usually quiet). She usually plops herself down next to us, but does use her beds too.
She wasn't fond of the crate at all so we ditched that pretty early on and she was much happier.

Yes I'd agree that it seems like she's jumpy/anxious rather than aggressive.

Do you have any online course recommendations?

When we're outside she seems over friendly - wants to jump and greet people and other dogs, gets into a bit of a frenzy but seems over excited rather than stressed. She's the same when we have visitors to the house.

Could this be a stress response actually?
We are doing training to help combat these two things and it's sinking in, it's just a little slow.

Apparently so. I've been in contact with the breeder since before the litter was born and she's aware of the issues we're having. She was very surprised and said she's never dealt with resource guarding before. She didn't have any advice to offer tbh.

This is certainly extreme behaviour in a dog so young, which is (generally speaking) a laid back, easy breed, that doesn't have a traumatic history.

Honestly it's so hard to advise without observing her/your family together. You really need a reputable behaviourist to assess her. I'd also recommend having her vet checked to rule out anything underlying. Although I'd say this is almost certainly a behavioural problem rather than physical.

From your description she sounds extremely anxious and volatile. Some dogs are just more prone to this highly strung behaviour. I have one who is very reactive with other dogs (I bred her), thankfully she's brilliant with people.

Do you have any online course recommendations?

You need in-person help, not an online course.

Can you get your previous behaviourist back to come and help you?

Sorry just read your update. So she basically has no manners when greeting people/dogs outside the home (not at all unusual for a dog of her age!)

Is there any pattern to her reactive behaviour in the home or can she just quickly snap from calm to aggressive?

How much exercise does she get?

Re course recommendations, I can recommend Absolute Dogs and Club Dogwood.

When we're outside she seems over friendly - wants to jump and greet people and other dogs, gets into a bit of a frenzy but seems over excited rather than stressed. She's the same when we have visitors to the house. Could this be a stress response actually? It could be the fool around stress response. The jumping up could be an appeasement behaviour. No one on here can say for sure, which is why you need to consult a qualified behaviourist who can observe her behaviour in real life.

My pup can be like this when over tired but she’s also quite an anxious dog x

Yep, no manners yet! She can ignore people on the footpath a bit better now which is great, but if someone stops she will try to jump and it's hard to get her to engage with me. She's the same with other dogs on the lead.

When we occasionally go to the dog park she will happily run around with the other dogs and really enjoys it, although does seem to be quite submissive (lies down on her back a lot).

She gets 2 walks per day. One of those will be a good 40-50min walk and she gets sniffy time during this walk. The other walk is usually a 30min sniffy ramble.

We play games with her in the garden too - tug, rolling balls around etc. Also some training.

We'd need to get another behaviourist as our one moved away.
I was thinking we'd have to go this way again, but thought that if there was an online course to help with the anxiousness that'd be good to supplement it. But yes you're right, i think we need to get someone out to us.

I don't think there's an obvious pattern - but if she doesn't want to do something then she will act up. The breeder herself had said our pup was very head strong, the rest of them are all very chilled out boys it seems!

All of that pack structure, alpha stuff was debunked years ago, hopefully this was a while ago and whoever you saw has updated their methods because they're very damaging to dogs by instilling fear which will result in desired behaviour but at huge cost to the dog.

Gosh, you have just described our dog! But the thing is ours is a rescue dog who we got a 6 months and no nothing about his past but suspect that he was at worst I’ll treated and at the very least not socialised at all. I have no advice to offer( the last behaviourist we had offered advice on one issue- growling and barking at family members that he said would help reduce these incidents but he was such an anxious dog we had to decide whether we were prepared to make him a lifetimes project or just rehome him in so many words).
Just wanted to sympathise with you as I know how stressful it can feel walking on eggshells and never feeling completely relaxed around your dog which of course should be a joyful addition to family life.

We have very similar with our spaniel - 14mth old neutered boy - so you're not alone. He's not our first dog, we're used to working breeds (we had a Goldie before), and not afraid of training and lots of exercise. We are on our 2nd behaviourist and vet has suggested medication may be a route to consider.

I sympathise OP - it's so hard. Everything has to be managed to keep us safe and there are times I can feel overwhelmed by it all and get tearful over it. We too have teens, DH has said if the kids were younger we would have had to rehome Ddog as we could not have kept both kids safe (one has SEND). It's a rare day goes past when he doesn't jump and nip.

Sorry to hear that you're dealing with this too. Will you contact a different behaviourist for a second opinion or are you resigned to the two options he gave you (lifetime project/rehome)?

I have considered rehoming her many times. I was worried that there was an aggression issue during her first month with us but everyone kept saying it was just the crazy puppy phase (even the vet at first until she saw for herself), so I spent the first 3 or 4 months thinking that maybe I was just expecting too much and was imagining it.

But the thoughts of rehoming her.... 😔

Are you 100% sure all of the kids/Teens are nice to her? This behaviour sounds so out of what would usually be expected of a retriever, I wonder if things are happening to make her afraid? Or if she's in some kind of pain?

FLUFFYDOGMOTHER: "Everything has to be managed to keep us safe and there are times I can feel overwhelmed by it all and get tearful over it. We too have teens, DH has said if the kids were younger we would have had to rehome Ddog as we could not have kept both kids safe".

I feel the same, hence this post today. I'm sorry that you're dealing with this too, it is really upsetting isn't it. It must be even more difficult having this issue after having no problems with your previous dog.

I find I question myself all the time about whether we can keep her or not. When she's good I feel so guilty having those thoughts.
We will contact the behaviourist next week and see if she can recommend someone else to us.

We had a very similar situation with our dog and we ended up having to rehome her. Our children wereyounger (6,4 and 3) and it was too big a risk to me. I couldn’t go for a wee without taking a step to shut the dog away. And they couldn’t have a friend over because she would go for anyone who came to the door.
I wish you lots of luck - the whole experience was upsetting beyond words and we still miss her and talk about her now, months later

A young Golden Retriever will be fairly easy to rehome if you ever decide to do so - perhaps to an experienced owner with no kids. It sounds very difficult to manage as a family pet and very unusual for this breed. Unless maybe the breeder is not as nice as you originally thought and the anxious nature is due to her breeding or as PP suggested - is it at all possible that someone in the house hasn't been that nice to her?

Me or my husband are usually downstairs with the dog when the teens are around and they are good with her. Sometimes they don't spot the early signs of annoyance (they are fleeting before she air snaps/bites) so i have to step in.

I do think that her stomach issues have contributed to her being snappy, yes.
The behaviourist said that sometimes the behaviour issues will be resolved once the stomach issues have been dealt with. We definitely saw an improvement for a few weeks and were really hopeful, but then the bad behaviour started to come back again.
She does seem to be highly strung, she's jumpy and whips her head around at all sorts of noises etc.

This is a bit left field but PIL had a dog like this, from a breed similarly not known for this type of behaviour, turned out he had a brain tumour.