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The doghouse

If you're worried about your pet's health, please speak to a vet or qualified professional.

Original poster

How to 'decide' on the day to book in for PTS? 😥

37 replies

mummabubs · 10/04/2022 23:17

Our rescue boy is 12.5 years old, we've had him since he was 4. We've suspected we were heading this way for a while but today we've had our vet confirm that the time has come to let him go. He's been gradually declining cognitively and physically over the past 18 months but in the last month he's had a large deterioration to the point where (amongst other things) he's really struggling with stairs and is so anxious when we leave him that he'll wee or poo instantly, even if we just go to another room in the house without him noticing we've left the room 😔 This is happening at least several times a week and is only happening that much as I pretty much stay at home and with him all the time to try and reduce this happening. Unfortunately my maternity leave ends in 2 months time and I have to return to work. The vet and we are all in agreement that he won't cope with this change and we should be looking to PTS before that date as none of his issues are going to be significantly improved by treatment, if at all.

I've not been in this exact situation before as my last dog had a medical emergency at 13 years old and it was very clear cut that the kindest thing was to let her go whilst she was still under anesthesia. Half of me feels like we should be waiting til much closer to my work return date, the other half of me (perhaps selfishly) has been really struggling with managing the behaviours associated with his current difficulties and I'm not sure how well I'll cope emotionally if the date is too far ahead and then I'm just counting down every day if that makes sense.

Has anyone else been in a bit of an ambiguous position where you know the time has come to pursue euthanasia but it's not as clear cut as doing it immediately vs waiting a few weeks? It feels like a horrendous decision to have to make right now. Any insights would be greatly appreciated. Thanks all xx

OP posts:
Gardeninspring · 10/04/2022 23:58

Hello, I'm so so sorry to hear of this. As a dog owner myself I fully understand how much they mean and how they are such a huge part of the family. I don't have any advice I'm afraid but wanted to offer a handhold and support to you Flowers

backtobusy · 11/04/2022 00:12

We had a similar decision with my cat after 17 years.
It seemed too early but looking back it really wasn't.
I still miss him a year later but him at his healthy best.
Saying goodbye is so hard.
"Better a week too early than a day too late" Is the saying.
If the vet thinks it is time then it is time, probably sooner rather than later.
Thinking of you OP.

balzamico · 11/04/2022 00:18

I have the best vet in the world that very kindly said the time has come, so you want one more night and come in tomorrow or do it now? We knew it was coming to that and were so glad that she gave us that nudge.

episcomama · 11/04/2022 00:21

A week too early is better than a day too late.

I'm sorry you're dealing with this - we had to put our 14-year-old lab to sleep and had the same "is it time?" question.

He has lost control over his bladder and bowel - it's time Flowers Sad

littlejo67 · 11/04/2022 00:25

Our dog is nearly 17yrs old. He stopped being able to go up the stairs safely a year ago. We put a bed and water downstairs for him. I take him for a walk before I go to work so he can wee and poo. We keep him in a small area (hall) and put puppy pads down. He is fairly wobbly and has some dementia but still enjoys his walks, cuddles and food.
Would you be able to make some similar adjustments for his old age?

Original poster
mummabubs · 11/04/2022 07:32

Thank you for the hand holding all. I'd been worried that it felt too early too, but after talking with the vet for an hour she summarised it all very calmly and matter-of-factly and it made me realise how much we've probably just adapted to and accepted over time.

@littlejoe67 My OP didn't outline all that's going on for him (he has arthritis so is in pain, we've tried medication for this already) and also his back legs have started to give way so he can't squat to poo anymore. So he just walks and poops at the same time which has meant he sometimes gets it down his leg / on his tail.

We have already adapted our lives heavily in that I'm just not leaving him alone (which has affected my mental health as I've spent 99% of my leave at home with him feeling stuck) but it's deteriorated to the point where it will be something as small as me remembering I need to get something from upstairs or going to change my baby's nappy and he'll wee or poo indoors within seconds of him realising I've gone. I've tried making it clear I'm leaving the room but his vision and hearing are quite poor plus I think he forgets I've gone. It's anxiety related and not incontinence. I hate it but I've accepted for months that cleaning dog wee or poo out our carpets is just part of my day, which the vet made me realise isn't normal and isn't something that I should just expect to have to keep doing, especially with small children crawling on the carpets. I've felt incredibly guilty about complaining about this so had accepted that this was the responsibility I'm stuck with.

In terms of stairs we live in a three storey house with all the living space on the second and third floor, so unfortunately stairs are not something he can avoid. We'd occasionally been carrying him up the stairs but he's 30kg and last week he growled at DH whilst doing it (not his usual character) so I said I don't think he should be lifted any more. Dogs with Canine Cognitive Decline can become unpredictable in terms of behaviour so I wouldn't want to risk it.

Sorry I know that's a long ramble, just wanted to be clear that we have been adapting to try and minimise this for a long time. Sadly my return to work isn't avoidable and as I work in a hospital I can't work from home at all. He won't cope alone and will be distressed. We even considered rehoming but I can't stand the thought of it and he's literally anxious about being around us specifically. Our families have both watched him in the last few months for a few hours each and he was really distressed and looking for us, and these are people he's known for 8 years and been comfortable being left with before now. Sadly I think we're out of options and no intervention is going to provide any significant improvement to his quality of life.

OP posts:
Original poster
mummabubs · 11/04/2022 07:33

Sorry, that should be @littlejo67

OP posts:
alrightfella · 11/04/2022 07:42

@mummabubs it's the hardest decision, but the vet has made it for you. Phone them and make the appointment and then have one last lovely day with him.

We had a boy that I know I kept going longer than I should have. I couldn't let him go. With hindsight now I should have let him go sooner. Think of his quality of life. I always think its the only downside to having pets. That we have to let them go Thanks

rollwith · 11/04/2022 07:43

In all honesty, it's now time to let him go. He's in pain and distress and it's not fair to hang on any longer. We were in a similar position with our dog a few years ago, I know it's hard 💐

JellyBunny · 11/04/2022 07:47

OP it sounds like it's time. The dog is struggling. You are struggling. It's a kindness to let him go. It doesn't mean you don't love him and I'm sure you gave him a great life.

FishfingersAndCustard86 · 11/04/2022 07:49

I’m so sorry op Flowers

Just wanted to let you know that there are vets/companies who will come out to your house and organise everything. I found it a very peaceful experience vs being at the vets, but ddog was always anxious at the vets so it made sense.

I didn’t know it was even an option before I was told.

PuppyPowerTool · 11/04/2022 07:57

It's so sad, I'm thinking I may be in a similar position to you in the not too distant future. I think sooner rather than later with you boy...Flowers

Original poster
mummabubs · 11/04/2022 11:18

Thank you all, my logical brain knows that it's probably better to do it now knowing that I may never feel like it's really 'time' to until something terrible happens and then I'd regret not acting on it now. Spoken to our vets and it's booked for this Wednesday at 10am. It just feels so horrible knowing that it's going to happen, at least with my last girl it was all quite sudden. Although I keep telling myself he doesn't know what's going to happen so in a way that's a blessing.

OP posts:
Original poster
mummabubs · 11/04/2022 11:20

@PuppyPowerTool

It's so sad, I'm thinking I may be in a similar position to you in the not too distant future. I think sooner rather than later with you boy...Flowers
I'm so sorry @PuppyPowerTool. It really is the hardest thing, but I do believe the highs of having a dog in your life outweigh the inevitable sadness and heartbreak when it ends x
OP posts:
Easterisoffeggstooexpensive · 11/04/2022 11:25

We chose Pancake Day. 2020. Ddog had a brain tumour (likely but not diagnosed).. She had fish and chips for lunch and 2 pancakes for tea. Then we set off.
Sorry you are in this position... You are a great ddoggy owner op to want the best for your ddog. Not everyone can be so selfless.

How to 'decide' on the day to book in for PTS? 😥
Butterhound · 11/04/2022 11:50

Flowers to you. We were in sort of the same position with our old boy last year: we were so caught up in 'managing' his needs to keep him going (getting up twice a night to empty a catheter, filling him with a cocktail of painkillers) that we lost sight of what his actual day to day experience of life was. Our vet gently steered us through the guilty, awful, miserable moment of deciding to let him go peacefully, but when the moment came, I knew immediately that we'd done the right thing.

You've done an amazing job supporting your old boy. He couldn't ask for more. But it sounds as if his world is now quite strange and scary, even with you by his side 24/7, so helping him to pass away peacefully is the kindest thing you can do for him.

hellcatspangle · 11/04/2022 12:13

@mummabubs

Thank you all, my logical brain knows that it's probably better to do it now knowing that I may never feel like it's really 'time' to until something terrible happens and then I'd regret not acting on it now. Spoken to our vets and it's booked for this Wednesday at 10am. It just feels so horrible knowing that it's going to happen, at least with my last girl it was all quite sudden. Although I keep telling myself he doesn't know what's going to happen so in a way that's a blessing.
They can give him a sedative to make him sleepy beforehand, I opted for this and sat on the floor with her head in my lap 😢
Easterisoffeggstooexpensive · 11/04/2022 12:44

Ours had the sedation first also. Vet gave a quick jab and left the room. Peephole told them when she was safe to approach! She wasn't friendly with non family.
Worth the extra 50 quid.

MrsWinters · 11/04/2022 12:48

I would do it when you have some time so you can spend a lovely morning with him treating him and doing whatever he likes. Remember you are going to be delicate afterwards, so I’d do it when you can take some time off work so it isn’t a rush. Xx

thisplaceisweird · 11/04/2022 12:55

I'm so sorry OP, it's heartbreaking. You are doing the right thing, for both of you. It's kind to give him a gentle and loving send off before he is truly miserable.

Sloelydoesit · 11/04/2022 22:31

You will cry and be sad whenever it happens. My first very special cat was poorly for a few months. Not worth the very invasive treatment (for him). He was on meta cam and ok until one morning he woke up and just wasn't himself. up until that day he ate, loved his best other cat. But this morning he looked low.
I booked the appointment for a few hours later and he did come out for a bit of a sunbathe before we went. And that memory stays with me.
When he went it was so fast - like he was happy to succumb. I cried like nothing else but was glad I did it at that point.
He could have limped on for a while but that wouldn't be fair

Hugs to you xxx

Original poster
mummabubs · 12/04/2022 20:03

Thanks again everyone. At the moment it all feels horrendous but I'm sure it will feel 'better' after the actual appointment. I think much of the heartbreak at the moment is knowing he's still here now but won't be soon.

OP posts:
arghwhataminefield · 12/04/2022 20:13

Big hugs for tomorrow, I dread the day we have to do this xx

Vthirtyone · 12/04/2022 20:21

You are an amazing owner for everything you have done so far and for what you are about to do. Feel really proud of yourself. If only all dogs could have homes like this. All best wishes

Nevercloser · 12/04/2022 20:37

Mummy
Wishing you peace for tomorrow. You are doing the right thing for your lovely boy. There are are far worse things for an animal (and I include human animals in that) than a pain free easy death. He will be alright. ❤️

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