How to 'decide' on the day to book in for PTS? 😥

[mummabubs]

Our rescue boy is 12.5 years old, we've had him since he was 4. We've suspected we were heading this way for a while but today we've had our vet confirm that the time has come to let him go. He's been gradually declining cognitively and physically over the past 18 months but in the last month he's had a large deterioration to the point where (amongst other things) he's really struggling with stairs and is so anxious when we leave him that he'll wee or poo instantly, even if we just go to another room in the house without him noticing we've left the room 😔 This is happening at least several times a week and is only happening that much as I pretty much stay at home and with him all the time to try and reduce this happening. Unfortunately my maternity leave ends in 2 months time and I have to return to work. The vet and we are all in agreement that he won't cope with this change and we should be looking to PTS before that date as none of his issues are going to be significantly improved by treatment, if at all.

I've not been in this exact situation before as my last dog had a medical emergency at 13 years old and it was very clear cut that the kindest thing was to let her go whilst she was still under anesthesia. Half of me feels like we should be waiting til much closer to my work return date, the other half of me (perhaps selfishly) has been really struggling with managing the behaviours associated with his current difficulties and I'm not sure how well I'll cope emotionally if the date is too far ahead and then I'm just counting down every day if that makes sense.

Has anyone else been in a bit of an ambiguous position where you know the time has come to pursue euthanasia but it's not as clear cut as doing it immediately vs waiting a few weeks? It feels like a horrendous decision to have to make right now. Any insights would be greatly appreciated. Thanks all xx

Wishing you peace @mummabubs and @Easterisoffeggstooexpensive what a beautiful boy.
It's so hard, dh and I were so conflicted, and kept hoping the other would call the vet.
I ended up going into the vet after a dreadful day at work as I passed on the way home from work, knew if didn't do it then would put it off again, so we got one more night with ddog, slept on the floor with her and did the difficult journey next day.

Thinking of you and your doggo OP, the hardest decision but the kindest. Stay with him for his appointment, you are his safety and security and he'll be comforted knowing you are there. Sending hugs for tonight and tomorrow xx

We are coming up to the same point with our pet OP, and having the same discussion as a family.
I am comparing it in my mind to my DF, who was well, living a good life until he suddenly died of a heart attack at a good age.
My mother is so frail, tottering on, and continues to suffer with, at best discomfort, and at worst, loneliness and pain.
I think I will make the decision sooner rather than later with my dog.

I just came across this thread looking for someone with similar circumstances.

We have our DDog booked tomorrow night to be PTS. I'm absolutely lost and I can't stop crying. I keep looking over at him and I can't believe this time tomorrow he won't be here.

He's my best friend and he's been the best most wonderful and incredible dog anyone could ask for. I don't know how to ever get over this and I just can't believe it's going to be all over tomorrow. I'm going to miss him more than I could ever say.

How are you holding up @mummabubs ?

Gay,
You’d be better to start your own thread, you will get more personal and relevant replies.
But with regard to tomorrow, you are doing the right thing. It’s awful and heartbreaking but your pain is preventing future pain for your lovely boy.
I’ve had to go through this recently and I still break down when I think of her, which is so often. The house is too quiet, the sun which she always loved is a torment. I can’t enjoy it now..

But please believe that you are doing him a kindness. You are taking on the pain so he doesn’t have to.

I wish you strength for tomorrow, and love.
Xxx

Cuddle him and give him his favourite treats tonight. I’m crying writing this, it’s just so fucking hard.

My girl had all the chicken which was for my husbands lunches for the week. He will be OK.

@GayParis

I just came across this thread looking for someone with similar circumstances.

We have our DDog booked tomorrow night to be PTS. I'm absolutely lost and I can't stop crying. I keep looking over at him and I can't believe this time tomorrow he won't be here.

He's my best friend and he's been the best most wonderful and incredible dog anyone could ask for. I don't know how to ever get over this and I just can't believe it's going to be all over tomorrow. I'm going to miss him more than I could ever say.

How are you holding up @mummabubs ?

@GayParis I'm so sorry you're at this point too. We're feeling pretty bereft, keep on wishing he was still here and that we hadn't gone through with it but we know that would have been purely for our benefit and not for his. I think the worst time in some ways was actually where you are now, having that sense of dread and anticipation.

DH didn't feel able to go on the day, which I completely respect. Although it was traumatising for me to go (our beloved boy died in my lap) I wouldn't change that decision. I couldn't imagine him being alone with strangers at the end so I think I gained some small comfort knowing he had a familiar face with him. (And he ate half a bag of salmon sticks in the waiting room so he was a bit distracted from it all). To be honest I was shocked by how quick it was (literally about 10-15 seconds from injection to passing). The first 48 hours afterwards were pretty horrendous for obvious reasons, but having too small children and DH's birthday are providing much needed distraction. The house still feels oddly empty and I find myself looking for him or still expecting to see him trot into the room.

We're able to talk about him without automatically crying now and are keen to get his ashes back so that we know he's home again if that makes sense. We're going to plant a tree for him in the garden in his favourite weeing spot. I can look at photos of him from years ago with happiness and we can talk about and remember all the happy times, I'm not ready to look at any recent pics though. I hadn't really realised how old he'd become and forgotten what he used to be like when he was younger and healthy.

I'll be thinking of you today, it's definitely the hardest decision to make but it's done out of love and compassion.

Thank you @mummabubs

I'm so sorry you went through that but you've no idea how much comfort it's given me knowing after it happens it'll get easier. Right now feels like I'll never be happy again but I've got another DDog and daughter to concentrate on.

Ive got a bunch of sausages cooking for his breakfast this morning and to slice up later for the waiting room so he's distracted like you did.

Thank you so much again for replying

mummabubs We had to let our DDog go last autumn after 12 years of decent health + 4 months of quite stressful decline, and we're now just about at the point where we remember the fit, healthy family companion rather than the sadder recent times. It's very tough. But it's the inevitable flip side of letting dogs live in your heart - when they leave, there's a space where all the joy was. to you.

Bless you for thinking so much of your dog's needs and welfare. I strongly suggest you phone your vet tomorrow and ask them to come and 'do the deed' at your house. They may be able to do it the same day or it may take a couple more days to arrange. In nearly 40 years of dogs this is what I have always tried to do as it lessens the stress for everybody, most especially your beloved dog. From experience the time between decision and action can be very precious, full of treats and even more love than usual. Wishing your dog a peaceful passing and you the grace of knowing that you have done everything possible.

It's the last great act of kindness - to let them go peacefully with someone who loves them by their side.

The time between making the appointment and turning up for it is so hard. When I had my beloved dog PTS last year, at nearly 16, I only had a couple of hours. The previous dear dog it was the following day. It's all absolutely horrendous.