Have you ever rehomed your dog ?

[OnTheGoAlways]

I posted this on the chat thread but advised to move it here. I am a mess and this is all part of the wider context of the rising cost of living.

For context, I work FT I'm professional services in HE, I deferred my nursing degree in January, partly due to what I witnessed in nursing but primarily due to childcare. I have two sons, 11&7, the youngest of which has some additional needs and behaviour challenges. I'm on my own with them, and our beautiful dog.

I spend a large amount of time stressed, I can feel my heart racing, I feel out of breath, my face is flushed/red, my back amd neck is painful. I earn less now than I did as a student with bursaries, with the addition of paying council tax and and I had all summer off as a student. I have a masters degree in my current field (which I was in before nursing and have gone back to) but can only really secure junior posts.

I already live frugally, never go out socialising other than walking dogs with friends.

My mum came round a couple of days ago...the dog was barking (I've tried training), the boys were bickering and I was overwhelmed. The dog is beautiful, she is affectionate, playful, never been aggressive. But she barks alot, if I laugh, if the kids play, she wants something. She is well cared for, goes with a dog walker for a couple of hours when I'm in the office, and is obviously taken out morning and evening. I stop work to take her out then have to work until late to make up for it. She needs at around 2 hours off lead walking a day.

Anyway, my mum said I should consider rehousing her. She said dog walker may increase costs, and she hates to see me struggling so much, and I haven't stopped thinking about it since. I really don't think I will do this, I would feel incredibly guilty and worry about her. I think the dog may be being used as a scapegoat here.

That said, i guess i feel better if i hear others experiences. Has anyone ever rehomed a dog? She is 3. I wouldn't want to sell her, I wouldn't want money.

Would you even be thinking of rehoming her if your mum hadn't made that comment?

It doesn't sound like there's any pressing need to rehome your dog here. As PP said, would you have been considering this if your mum hadn't said?

never go out socialising other than walking dogs with friends.

Sounds like you need your dog for the sake of your own sanity tbh. Mine has saved my MH on more than a few occasions.

I had thought about it a few times, but too ashamed to say...then my mum said this and it's almost given my permission to explore.

And I do adore my walks with her, I've always loved walking, but if I'm honest with myself, she brings more stress than joy. I know its not her job to bring me joy, she deserves joy too of course. But the time she needs is what is causing stress, and the noise.

I have rehomed pets in the past when i was younger. Ive also got rescue animals now. I think its very unsettling both for animal and human, at first but they do settle. Even my dog now who i got when she was already around 8 or 9 when i got her is very happy and attached to us.
I think as long as you dont try and keep contact then they just get used to it.

If she came from a decent breeder then they should be able to help if you decide to rehome.
I wouldn’t unless I had no choice at all. I’ve been lucky and never had to rehome a pet.

I work with a rescue

Honestly 90% of the time I wish people would consider rehoming their dogs more often.

The best example of this is an adorable golden retriever puppy we had given in at a young age. People were out raged that people gave up so soon but was 100% the right thing. The dog was bought for an older man by a family member, who quickly realised he couldn't cope, family member then took it on but realistically didn't have the time for such a little pup or set up.

Yes they could have kept it, but it would have had a poor quality of life with limited walks, left alone alot, would probably develop behavioural issues then need to be rehomed. As it was a puppy, it went straight into a new home which was well suited.

People often wait till behaviour problems are absolutely awful, which makes the dog much harder to rehome. People try to make do, and partly for pride keep dogs in less than ideal situations.

An example of the other way was a fab dog who struggled with children. He was the owners pride and joy but struggled with the stress of a new born, because the owners didn't want to rehome he spent most of his time an anxious wreck with the noise, shut away and worried. That dog would have been far happier in a different home without children.

We also see dogs for example where owners don't admit their lifestyle, skills etc aren't suited to the dog and wait till the dog is highly reactive for example then seek help. The dog by that point is almost impossible to rehome, but if it had come in earlier the issues would have been far easier to fix and homes far easier to find

Taking yourself out the equation and any feelings of guilt...

Are you the right home for your dog?
Do you have the right set up, skills and time?

Rehoming isn't an awful suggestion but only you know how happy your dog is

Once to a friend. He had a fight with one of my other dogs and they just never got past it.

They would have fought to the death. I got badly bitten breaking the fight up.

The stress of keeping all the dogs separated from him was immense and once I messed up and he got in with the others and all hell let loose.

He's happy with my friend. I've seen him twice in 5 years. Left it well over a year to visit, so he'd "forgotten" me. He's happier as an only dog and has calmed down a lot.

To be fair he wasn't actually my dog. He was my ex's and when we split he left him with me 🤦‍♀️

I haven't but some friends did. They had a working-line springer and they just hadn't expected how much more input she would need compared to their first dog. They hadn't the time to put into her and (iirc) she was rehomed through a breed rescue. She had no major issues other than pulling like a train and must be making a lovely dog in the right home.

OP, only you know your situation but a three year old dog with no major issues shouldn't be hard to home. As PP suggests, the breeder might be a good place to start.

When I moved back to uk from Spain during the pandemic I had to rehome my dog. It was heartbreaking but I needed to make that choice for my family, otherwise we wouldn't of been able to move.
If you do decide to rehome then just look for the right family and trust your gut instinct.
You're not a bad person for it

Some dogs are “chatty” barkers. What breed is she OP?
If you are going to rehome her then sooner rather than later, while she is still a young dog.

I just had a dental appointment and for the first time ever had a horrible panic attack mid way through a filling, I don't even know what happened, but the next second I was balling my eyes out and felt sick.

I don't want to give her up, I know that as my children get older and become more independent, she and I will go on great adventures and she will be my best friend.

But, rn I am falling apart, and I keep thinking "oh it'll easier, something magical will happen to me and it'll be fine" ... but nothing is going to happen, its not fine. I am struggling to give her what she needs, and I am completely stretched. I've noticed the last few weeks she has become more needy, and has started to whine a bit. She's always been my shadow though.

I don't know what to do, nobody is coming to rescue us, I need to take some sort of action. Regardless of my guilt and dismay at it...maybe she would be better with someone else, a farming family, or shooting family. She is a working breed, and adores sniffer training. She's a Bavarian Mountain Hound. I knew she'd be alot of work when I got her but I always managed it and put in the work...just circumstances now.

Could you look at borrow my doggy or a local group and see if anyone would like a part time dog potentially? A lot of people want a dog but can't commit to having one 100%.

I don't think rehoming is a bad idea if you think her quality of life will be better, but I don't think it's something that you truly want and I think you would potentially regret it in a year or two time.

I have rehomed my dog a little while ago. She had been fine with children previously but once we had our child she was a different dog. She was really stressed and we had started keeping them separate once our child was mobile. Her quality of life would have just gotton worse with more separation from us and likely would have ended in a bite at best.

We had to swallow our pride and upset and rehome because it was in her best interests. We had some people say it was a selfish horrible thing to do but they were wrong. I know that for sure now because she settled in her new home immediately, she hasn't pined for us at all and she is 100% happier and we are much less stressed.

It's a hard decision to make but it can be the right one. Have a good think about it and don't bet yourself up if you decide its right for you and her.

I think it sounds like you have an awful lot going on, with a very high needs dog. Rehoming through a specialist charity would take a lot of pressure off you and put your very loved dog with someone who will love her just as much, but have the time and energy to put in. Realistically, if your 7 year old has additional needs, its going to be 10 years or more by the time their demands on you lessen, and could very well increase.
A well trained dog with no behavioral issues, known to live with children etc will find a home easily, and a smaller specialist charity may be able to leave her with you until they find the right home as well

OP just breath.

Your life at the moment sounds stressful and busy.
Is this how it will be for a while or is it one of the stages of life and will settle down a bit when kids get older, work changes etc.

Do you think you are finding this decision hard because actually you do not want to rehome your dog?

If you rehome your dog will all your socialising disappear or will you have time and money for different types of socialising. tbh dog walking with friends sounds like the best type of socialising to me

You dont have to be perfect, that will do is ok for dogs (and often kids).

What ever decision you make if you rehome through a good rescue your dog will be ok - take your time and do not be pressured into any decisions.

breathe

Kind of. I adopted a dog from a random person on the internet and within 2 hours it was clear they had lied about some huge behavioural issues that would not work with us.

I rehomed the dog responsibly with a rescue centre, which the original owner didn't do. I think it was beet because it meant the people rehoming the dog wouldn't be able to lie again and more experienced owners could be found.

My post got cut off early but basically OP there is no shame in rehoming if you can't cope. You can't put a dog before the needs of your family.

I took in a dog that was being rehomed.
They said he bit their little girl
He was free on Facebook
We have had him 3 years now ,he’s never once shown any aggression,he’s the most loving ,loyal little sweet heart I could ever of wished for …..
But he came with huge toilet and food issues .
He couldn’t eat from his own bowl ,he could only eat left overs from my other dogs …he simply could not believe he had his own bowl of food .
Toileting was in the house..
He had never been walked ,didn’t know how to behave on a lead.
3 years later , he’s a super little poppet ..
I’m so so glad I took a chance on him
Good luck op ,in what you decide to do x

Thank you everyone, thank you for not being judgemental, I was stressed about posting.

The other thing about my children is they love her when she's quiet and cuddly, but her barking makes them stressed. We can't muck about as she doesn't like it, she doesn't become nervous,wags her tail and barks. My eldest is at a point in the last few months even, of saying he wishes we had a cat instead. If they're playing on trampoline in garden she will bark too.

I have never rehomed a pet. But I did take on someone else's dog when the dog was 5 years old. No rescue centre was involved, we heard through a friend of a friend that this dog needed a new home and it was good timing for us. I'm sure the dog was happy with his first owner but as she had died (and was temporarily with a family member) there was not much choice. But though I think he wouldn't have chosen to come to us, he was happy enough and after 6 months with us was a devoted family member.
We kept in touch with the original family as you can imagine being the pet of the bereaved they cared how he was, and about 10 months after getting him we took him for a visit. He was delighted to see them, but... When it was time to go he totally wanted to come with us and his old home was not where his loyalties lay any more.
We had him for 11 years and he was my savour, my shadow, my joy and had a great life.
So what I'm saying is, I don't know if rethinking your dog is right for you, but if it is necessary, with the right home to go to the dog will have a great life and be much loved. They don't live in the shadow of that change like a human might. Just need to pick the right home if you do it, for your peace of mind.

Do you have a friend or family member that could take her for a couple of weeks so that you can test the water of being without her .

I adopted a rescue dog and sadly had to return him after a month. He hadn't been assessed correctly and I was completely the wrong home for him, for many reasons.

I think it's wrong that giving up your dog is so stigmatised; sometimes it's just a bad/wrong match and it's doing the dog a kindness to give it a chance to find a better match.

I have just rehomed my dog, I know it is the best thing for him I miss him so much but I know it is right decision.

Oh @bloodywhitecat I was on your thread. I'm sorry you've had to rehome your boy but it was clearly the right decision all round and I'm sure he has went to a fantastic home.

It gets easier I promise .

Well done for making a difficult decision. It's so easy to stick with the status quo to save face and so that you're not 'one of those people that rehomed their dog' etc but it's the dogs quality of life and your quality of life that matters and in hindsight I think it's much braver to make that difficult decision.

can you try training classes? speak to some like minded people?

I would not rehome just yet - you sound incredibly stressed and it is an option but not really just yet?

give her a job, tons of scent games, shes a hound so make her work, kongs,chews, freeze things, hell - freeze her dinner! and give it her.
make her work, she will be less likely to bark and piss about if she is busy

good luck!