Have you ever rehomed your dog ?

[OnTheGoAlways]

I posted this on the chat thread but advised to move it here. I am a mess and this is all part of the wider context of the rising cost of living.

For context, I work FT I'm professional services in HE, I deferred my nursing degree in January, partly due to what I witnessed in nursing but primarily due to childcare. I have two sons, 11&7, the youngest of which has some additional needs and behaviour challenges. I'm on my own with them, and our beautiful dog.

I spend a large amount of time stressed, I can feel my heart racing, I feel out of breath, my face is flushed/red, my back amd neck is painful. I earn less now than I did as a student with bursaries, with the addition of paying council tax and and I had all summer off as a student. I have a masters degree in my current field (which I was in before nursing and have gone back to) but can only really secure junior posts.

I already live frugally, never go out socialising other than walking dogs with friends.

My mum came round a couple of days ago...the dog was barking (I've tried training), the boys were bickering and I was overwhelmed. The dog is beautiful, she is affectionate, playful, never been aggressive. But she barks alot, if I laugh, if the kids play, she wants something. She is well cared for, goes with a dog walker for a couple of hours when I'm in the office, and is obviously taken out morning and evening. I stop work to take her out then have to work until late to make up for it. She needs at around 2 hours off lead walking a day.

Anyway, my mum said I should consider rehousing her. She said dog walker may increase costs, and she hates to see me struggling so much, and I haven't stopped thinking about it since. I really don't think I will do this, I would feel incredibly guilty and worry about her. I think the dog may be being used as a scapegoat here.

That said, i guess i feel better if i hear others experiences. Has anyone ever rehomed a dog? She is 3. I wouldn't want to sell her, I wouldn't want money.

Dogs are much more resilient and adaptable than people think.

The temptation is to project our human experience onto them, but they really do not think like we do nor experience the world like we do.

A dog left alone for a day may pine for its owner to come home, then show its happiness when the owner returns. We interpret this to mean there is an unbreakable bond similar to parent and child. This would be wrong.

A re-homed dog may miss its previous owner for a short while, but as long as it goes to a caring owner, that dog will not spend its days reminiscing about its previous owner.

If you went to visit it, months later, it would definitely remember you and would probably be ecstatic that you're back in the pack. But with dogs it's much more out of sight, out of mind, i.e. dog hadn't spent those months thinking of you and missing you. They adapt to the pack they find themselves in. They live more in the moment than we do.

I would not feel guilty about re-homing a dog if the dog will have a better life with someone else.

Yes I have, and I don’t regret it. We had a Labrador puppy and a toddler, which was manageable but then had another baby who was very premature and then very Ill for a long time. I had PTSD and took 2 years to get better. Keeping the dog was impossible.

My children are now teenagers and we have another dog who is the light of all our lives ❤️

I would judge anyone for rehoming their dog if they weren’t coping. Better than the dog having a crap life, better than a person having an emotional breakdown.

Four floor is completely right. I think a lot of people would be devastated to know just how quickly their would dogs forget them! As long as they are receiving sufficient attention and their needs are met, they are happy.

People projecting human emotions onto animals is the cause of so many problems.

You sound really stressed and it sounds like you need to have one less thing to worry about at least. It’s hard enough being a struggling single parent without the additional stress of a difficult dog.

@Kay7766923

Oh *@bloodywhitecat* I was on your thread. I'm sorry you've had to rehome your boy but it was clearly the right decision all round and I'm sure he has went to a fantastic home.

It gets easier I promise .

Well done for making a difficult decision. It's so easy to stick with the status quo to save face and so that you're not 'one of those people that rehomed their dog' etc but it's the dogs quality of life and your quality of life that matters and in hindsight I think it's much braver to make that difficult decision.

Thank you, it was a very hard decision but his new owner is keen for us to meet up so I am going to arrange that soon.

@Fourfloor That is really helpful and reassuring, thank you.

@TriTrey

I adopted a rescue dog and sadly had to return him after a month. He hadn't been assessed correctly and I was completely the wrong home for him, for many reasons.

I think it's wrong that giving up your dog is so stigmatised; sometimes it's just a bad/wrong match and it's doing the dog a kindness to give it a chance to find a better match.

Same here, we only lasted 2 weeks. We weren't told the extent of his needs, and told blatant lies about some of his issues. It was horrible, heartbreaking, emotionally draining but 100% the right decision. For us and the dog.

Yes. It was the right decision.

I have and it broke my heart but i know it was the right decision for him.

He was 8 yrs old at the time and i had him from a puppy. I started a new job which required working nights, but i had no idea the effect it would have on ddog.
Dc at home but they weren't confident walking him on lead as he was very much an attention seeker on walks and a very strong dog, so only got let in the garden while i was at work. With one at work and 1 at school and myself asleep daytime while working nights ddog was lacking the attention he needed. He began refusing to let me out the house when he wasn't coming with me. If i tried to go through the door he would barge through with me and no amount of coaxing him would make any difference. He knew when i was trying to leave without him and would put himself between me and the door. It was a very stressful time for me and ddog, he wasn't happy at all.

Breeder put me in touch with a lovely family. They drove miles to meet ddog and he took to them straight away.

He now lives a very happy life with loads of attention and the love he deserves and i get regular updates.

Do what is right for the happiness of your ddog.

I’ve had a few older working dogs from a relative when they needed to retire. They settle really quickly and even when they see ex owner they are not bothered. Happy to see them and be made of fuss of but don’t pine.
In your situation I would see if someone would sort of do a part time loan/borrow my doggy thing with you. Someone maybe older who doesn’t want a dog but would like to walk a dog regularly. Whilst regular walks is a commitment it’s not as great as owning the dog.