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The doghouse

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Original poster

Signing our boy over for adoption

33 replies

bloodywhitecat · 25/03/2022 14:57

Six months after DDog came to live with us DH was taken ill and it turned out to be terminal cancer. In the two years that followed DDog was in and out of kennels and foster care. Then, late last year DH had a massive stroke which left him bedbound and without speech meaning I couldn't leave DH home alone so once again DDog went off to foster care as I couldn't even walk him daily as I couldn't leave the house. DH died almost four weeks ago and I have been tormenting myself over what to do for our boy. He is happy in his foster home, he is settled and has a doggy companion. He loves his foster carers. Today they asked if I would consider them adopting him and I know I would, I have been worrying about how I manage it all of he came home, not least because financially I am not sure I can manage the cost of dog ownership. For the first time in two years (and he's only two and a half) he is settled and in a stable home.

I know it is best for him and best for me but I feel bloody awful.

OP posts:
Jadecarrot · 25/03/2022 14:59

I would and I think you know it is the right decision at this point. Don't feel guilty. You have coped with a lot.

Itwasnotmeormydog · 25/03/2022 14:59

It sounds a great solution. No need to feel bad about it. That's his home now and he likes it and they love him. It is right that he continue to live there.

Okki · 25/03/2022 15:00

I'm so sorry about your DH.

It's a hard decision but it sounds like it will be the best one for your DDog. I hope it brings you comfort knowing he'll be happy and well looked after. Thanks

pigsDOfly · 25/03/2022 15:20

Sorry for your loss OP Flowers

Please don't feel awful. He's settled, he's happy and he's loved, that's all a dog wants from life.

He's being well taken care of. You need to take care of yourself now.

Hoppinggreen · 25/03/2022 15:23

I’m so sorry about your DH
You have no need to feel guilty about ddog, you are doing the best thing for him, even if it’s hard for you xx

Fantina · 25/03/2022 15:26

I’m so sorry about your DH but it sounds like a lovely home has been found for your DDog. Perhaps you could offer to look after him when they go away at weekends etc and be his holiday home?

Sunnyday321 · 25/03/2022 15:26

Don't feel any guilt , as long as you know he is being well looked after and is happy where he is , then you are doing your best by him .

Saucery · 25/03/2022 15:27

Please don’t feel guilty. I often see “owners have had a sad change of circumstance” on a local dog rescue site I follow and that’s what you have had.
He’s not even having to go to be assessed, the fosterers can offer him a gentle rehoming experience where they have already proved they are suitable for him.
I can see why it is another in a long chain of links to the time before your DH became ill and died, though and must be so upsetting Flowers

RandomMess · 25/03/2022 15:31

That's very sad for you but hand on heart you the dog will not be giving two hoots about you as he is so happy where he is!!!

Perhaps you can go visit him sometimes/provide them with holiday care for all their dogs?

ThanksThanksThanksThanksThanksThanksThanks

PollyRoulllson · 25/03/2022 15:36

bloodywhitecat I am so sorry that you are having to go through even more but your dog sounds like he has a fab place to be.

You do not need to worry or have any concerns for him now knowing that he will be happy and well looked after.

I hope people are looking after you in the same way Flowers

ImplementingTheDennisSystem · 25/03/2022 15:36

Don't feel sorry at all OP. If ever there was a valid reason for rehoming a dog (and I don't think there are many) it's what you've described going through. I would let his foster parents adopt him Flowers

Twiglets1 · 25/03/2022 15:37

You are doing the best thing for him and I applaud you for that. Don’t feel bad, feel happy that he is well settled and looked after. You have had so much to cope with, time to be kind to yourself x

Kay7766923 · 25/03/2022 15:40

It sounds like it's the best decision all round for all involved. Agree with PP that you could potentially offer a holiday home for him depending on if it would upset you or him too much.

I rehomed my girl a little while ago in a less compelling case than yours and while I miss her a lot I'm not emotional about it now because it was 100% the best thing to do for her. Much like it will be with your boy.

Much love Flowers

Original poster
bloodywhitecat · 25/03/2022 15:45

Offering holiday care is a brilliant idea, thank you. And thank you all for understanding, I think it feels like another bereavement.

OP posts:
DalarnaHorses · 25/03/2022 15:47

I think I may remember your initial posts when your DH was taken ill (hope I've got the right person)💐 I'm so sorry for your loss.
You are doing absolutely the right thing for your DDog, he's settled and you have the security of knowing he is loved and cared for. Yes, it's hard, it's another loss and I guess he was a link to happier times, but you know it will be for the best.

Partyatnumber10 · 25/03/2022 15:50

I'm so sorry for your loss.
It sounds as if your dog is happy and settled and letting him stay there would be the kindest thing to do op. Don't feel guilty!
Perhaps they will let you visit/walk/mind him if they need somebody so that you keep in touch?

Partyatnumber10 · 25/03/2022 15:51

Sorry just realised I've cross posted with a few people saying exactly the same.

Poppy92r · 25/03/2022 15:53

Don't feel awful. This is absolutely in the best interest of your ddog.

I'm so sorry for everything you've been through xx

Alsoplayspiccolo · 25/03/2022 15:54

So sorry for your awful loss, OP.

When our neighbour died suddenly 3 years ago, he left behind a dog. His family couldn’t/wouldn’t take her on, so we did.
She was 11 when she came to us, and we were her third or fourth home (no fault of her own - she was a failed gun dog, then failed breeding bitch).
She lived with us for 2 years; we adored her and I think they were probably the happiest years of her life, as she was only ever walked on the lead, on the pavement previously, and she ran in the fields and woods and swam in the sea with us.

Your dog sounds happy and settled where he is, with people who love him, so you definitely don’t need to feel guilty - you are doing the best thing for him, which makes you a selfless, compassionate owner. Flowers

Saucery · 25/03/2022 15:54

And what a brilliant testament to you and your late DH. Despite everything else going on, you brought up a dog that can be rehomed and settled with someone else because of the care and attention you did give to his socialisation and training.

oakleaffy · 25/03/2022 16:01

@bloodywhitecat
I'm just glad your ''Boy'' is a dog and not a human child.

Re~homing a dog to a home he knows and is happy in is in no way bad or cruel.

Very sorry for your Loss.

Your dog will be fine.

irishfarmer · 25/03/2022 16:08

I am so sorry to hear about the loss of your husband.

Your post screams that you are a responsible dog owner, you are still trying to do the very best of them. It's not like you let your dog go on a whim because it was no longer a puppy. You found a suitable home while your Dh was very sick. I now seems like the best soloution would be to leave the dog where he is happy.

As PP said maybe have him for holidays.

MuggleMadness · 25/03/2022 16:17

(I've name changed again! Sorry. But I've been on your threads since the beginning)

You are so very loving & kind and you're doing the best thing for DDog, despite it being difficult for you. I understand why it feels like another bereavement, but hopefully you've forged a friendship with them along the way & they'll give you visiting rights! As well as giving you first refusal for doggy sitting.

Much love to you & the smalls 🌸

spiderlight · 25/03/2022 16:20

This must be an incredibly hard decision, but it sounds as if he's dearly loved in his foster home and it will be one weight off your mind. We adopted our beloved dog three years ago after a change in circumstances in his original family but we keep in touch with his old owners, send them regular pics and updates and have set up an Instagram for him so that they can see that he's well and happy. Maybe something like that would ease the transition for you? Flowers

hiredandsqueak · 25/03/2022 16:57

So sorry for your loss OP Flowers You are a responsible dog owner because you have taken care of the dog's needs whilst coping with such an awful situation. And now you are still considering your dog's needs above your own feelings. Your dog is happy and settled with a family that love him you have done well by your boy. Hopefully you can keep in touch with his new family and have him visit.