Signing our boy over for adoption

[bloodywhitecat]

Six months after DDog came to live with us DH was taken ill and it turned out to be terminal cancer. In the two years that followed DDog was in and out of kennels and foster care. Then, late last year DH had a massive stroke which left him bedbound and without speech meaning I couldn't leave DH home alone so once again DDog went off to foster care as I couldn't even walk him daily as I couldn't leave the house. DH died almost four weeks ago and I have been tormenting myself over what to do for our boy. He is happy in his foster home, he is settled and has a doggy companion. He loves his foster carers. Today they asked if I would consider them adopting him and I know I would, I have been worrying about how I manage it all of he came home, not least because financially I am not sure I can manage the cost of dog ownership. For the first time in two years (and he's only two and a half) he is settled and in a stable home.

I know it is best for him and best for me but I feel bloody awful.

You are absolutely doing the right think for DDog & it’s very selfless of you when you are already dealing with a huge loss.

I work in animal rescue & I can promise you 99% of dogs we get in are given to us for utter nonsense reasons such as owners getting a new couch 🙄 No one would judge you for your circumstances.

Oh heavens, you of all people should not feel at all guilty about making the best decision for your DDog.
I feel so sad for you because it’s another loss for you during a period of enormous loss and mourning. Your life is in transition and you have to really, really, really be there 100% for yourself, OP. This is a really good and loving decision. It’s ok to own it and move forward with it.

OP sounds like DDog has fallen on all 4 paws. Look after yourself.

Nothing wrong with that decision. He’s happy and cared for.

Offer to walk him occasionally and holiday cover is a really good idea.

Send him some treats in the post.

This is a great outcome for your dog, and it's very unselfish of you to put his needs first when you are going through so much.

Of course you will miss him, but, if you feel up to it in the future there are ways to enjoy the companionship of dogs without the cost and commitment of ownership - volunteer walking for a rescue, or through a scheme such as 'Borrow My Doggy'.

I hope that taking this practical worry from your shoulders will make you feel better .

[quote oakleaffy]@bloodywhitecat
I'm just glad your ''Boy'' is a dog and not a human child.

Re~homing a dog to a home he knows and is happy in is in no way bad or cruel.

Very sorry for your Loss.

Your dog will be fine.[/quote]
There is an irony there, as a foster parent I do hand children over to their forever homes, either back with their birth family or on to their new family and I grieve each of those losses too.

Thank you all, you have given me a fresh perspective on him and his new life. I know he is very happy there and it is best for him, he has a lovely new brother which he really benefits from and wouldn't get here.

You have done the right thing by him and to yourself too.

It sounds like the right solution all round.

I’m sorry for your loss and the pain you’ve experienced in the past years, @bloodywhitecat