Rescue dog issues

[dogissues99]

We are having issues with our rescue dog and constant arguing about it! I need some other opinions.
Background- family with 3 dc age teen to 6. We already have rescue dog who is lovely, has his annoying habits but in the home and with the kids he is a perfect family pet.

We wanted a friend for him and a 2nd dog for us but didn't want to buy an overpriced pup and had no joy rescuing in this country because we work (from home) and have kids so we got a pup from abroad last May ( this isn't a thread to slate abroad rescues please! ) he arrived later than we hoped so instead of a 4 month old we got a 7 month old bundle of nerves. We couldn't get close to touch him for the first 6 months. He now is affectionate and loves to be stroked and will go out for walks but only a set local route that he is used to. We can't get him in the car yet so he hasn't seen a vet.
He is nervous of other dogs, new people and most things but is slowly improving.

The main issue we have is in the home. He is nervous of the children, he gets jealous if the children get close to my husband to even sometimes to each other; when they come in a room he sometimes reacts too, though this is improving.

He displays this by growling and jumping up at them or barking and lunging at them he has gone to bite them on occasion but the bites don't have any force though they are scary and I worry that one day it will be a bad bite.

I am ready (have been ready for a while ) to admit defeat on this one, I'm scared for my kids and don't think we are a good match for him and don't think we are able to fulfil our duty of care to him.

He only really likes my husband and seems like a one man dog not a family dog. We aren't getting anywhere with training as we both work full time, my husband said he would be in charge of training but nothing happens days and weeks pass with no training happening. We have talked to trainers and behaviourist and they give us advice but we don't do anything with it!!

I'm at my wits end with it. I want to commit to this dog but don't know how and feel that my husbands attitude of; he's fine he just needs more time he is dangerous and really really makes me angry. If the kids get scared he tells them off and defends the dog. I just want to rewind time and not get this dog!!
Im not naive I know rescue dogs need training I've had several and worked with them too, I was prepared for training and classes etc but I don't know how to work with this one, I'm nervous of him, and he doesn't respond to me at all.

I just feel angry that he's scaring my children, causing arguments and feels like a dark shadow in our home, we don't go for nice dog walks anymore because he won't walk anywhere other than this set route round the village, we can't go out for the day as a family as no one else can walk him, we can't have a dog walker because he won't go in a car or be with other dogs, we can't plan a holiday for the same reasons or have our youngests friends round without having to shut him in a bedroom. It's making me miserable!
I don't really know what I'm asking, mainly what would you do??

It sounds like he isn't the right fit for your family. What backup support do you have from the rescue? Do they know about the issues that you are having with him and have they suggested that you return him?

What do the rescue say?

But I think you’ve answered your own question. You’re not able to give the dog what it needs to change its behaviour and it’s negatively affecting family life. I’d be talking to the rescue about rehoming him.

It’s really tough (I know, I’ve been there), but it really does sound like it’d be best for the dog to be in a quieter home with someone who had more time to devote to training and his behavioural issues.

What rescue back up do you have?

I have a rescue from abroad so no judgement from me but it does sound like you have bitten off more than you can chew. They can sometimes be VERY hard work. What support do the rescue provide. The rescue mine came from had kennels in this country so could take a dog back if necessary and find it a more suitable home.

Thanks, sadly you have confirmed what I think. The rescue were ok but just kept saying to give him time.
The rescue would rehome him for us.
It's very sad but I just feel that we aren't right for him and will end up ruining a potentially lovely dog, my husband adores him though.

He may be better in a single adult household where he can build a secure relationship with just 1 person and not be overwhelmed by a busy household.

Crazy to have a dog in your home who is scared of and scares your children!

One of the kids will get bitten and the dog will be put down.

If you cannot commit to training as recommended by the trainers you have had, then you should give him up. It’s not fair on the dog or your family.

It’s a pretty common issue for foreign rescues to hyper attach to one person and react to everyone else.

It’s not something that will just get better over time. You will need to decide whether you’re able to put in the level of work required (and it won’t just be your DH, it’ll be all of you) or whether it’s a lot more full on than you bargained for and he needs someone else.

It’s not something anyone else can decide for you and you can’t just leave the situation as is, because he could well injure someone... and he’s going to be pretty stressed constantly.

Have you had advice from a specialist regarding foreign rescues? Because they are a different kettle of fish entirely , I also have one.
There is a Facebook group called Free dog training advice , join that and ask for help.
The rescue ( Ukraine) we adopted from has loads of advice and will respond promptly to any questions . You might have given him too much too soon . Good luck

This is why a proper rescue will vet a dog appropriately and ensure its not home with children in particular young children. Many local to me won't place majority of dogs for this very reason. You need to get rid of the dog before he does permant damage to one of the kids.

He needs to be an only dog in a household with no children (or at least, no young children).

It's okay that he's not the right dog for you - some dogs need specialist homes and it sounds like he's one of them, so don't beat yourself up too much. You've done your best but ultimately you need to put your childrens' safety first.

Good luck

This dog isn’t suitable for you at all.
I know you don’t want negative comments about overseas rescues and I do know people who it has worked out well for but there are too many cases where unsuitable dogs are placed in homes by them.
This dog needs a different home, preferably with no children

Your husband does not adore him because he is not caring for him adequately.
I'd get the rescue to rehome him to a more appropriate home for his specialist needs, & protect your children & your other dog.

And if you both work FT and can’t use a dog walker how much time and attention is the dog getting?

@Hoppinggreen

And if you both work FT and can’t use a dog walker how much time and attention is the dog getting?

He gets constant attention! Sits with my husband or me all day, gets cuddles when he asks for them. There is no issue there.

@Ihaventgottimeforthis

Your husband does not adore him because he is not caring for him adequately. I'd get the rescue to rehome him to a more appropriate home for his specialist needs, & protect your children & your other dog.

I agree, however he is great with my other dog, they are good friends and there is no issues in that area, he's nervous of dogs he meets outside of the house though. My husband does love him but we have different ideas on training, he believes that given time the dog will be fine and it's a (very) slow process, I think the behaviour will become entrenched if we don't sort it out now.

@Hoppinggreen

This dog isn’t suitable for you at all. I know you don’t want negative comments about overseas rescues and I do know people who it has worked out well for but there are too many cases where unsuitable dogs are placed in homes by them. This dog needs a different home, preferably with no children

I completely agree, I knew it was a gamble but I guess I was too optimistic that it would be ok for us and as he was so young I thought we would have a good chance that he wasn't too affected by his start in life. Also he was born in the rescue kennels and treated with kindness so I hoped that he would be ok.

@statetrooperstacey

Have you had advice from a specialist regarding foreign rescues? Because they are a different kettle of fish entirely , I also have one. There is a Facebook group called Free dog training advice , join that and ask for help. The rescue ( Ukraine) we adopted from has loads of advice and will respond promptly to any questions . You might have given him too much too soon . Good luck

Thank you, I will have a look at this.

@Mindymomo

If you cannot commit to training as recommended by the trainers you have had, then you should give him up. It’s not fair on the dog or your family.

We can commit but we are overwhelmed with how to do it. We read so much and make training plans but they don't seem to relate to real life and our dog.

This may escalate OP. You know this.
You sound very sensible and know the risk of these rescue dogs from overseas.
Youve tried and it hasn’t worked. You’re not abandoning your year old pup because it’s no longer convenient- youre having to rehome am essentially wild animal which has not settled into your home environment.

Doggo needs a no child /no pets / experienced home.
Best of luck.

Am I missing something? You've been advised about training and should go to classes but you just haven't done it and it somehow down to the fact that the rescue is overseas?? By you I mean you and your husband btw.

If you're not willing to do any work with the dog give it up asap to someone who will before at best the dog is damaged further and at worst does something avoidable. IMO totally down to you, not the dog or the rescue.

What training were you advised?
You should have a clear idea of what to work on next, after that etc and these should be in play daily. Im not sure getting advice and not using is going to solve your problem.

@MollyRover

Am I missing something? You've been advised about training and should go to classes but you just haven't done it and it somehow down to the fact that the rescue is overseas?? By you I mean you and your husband btw.

If you're not willing to do any work with the dog give it up asap to someone who will before at best the dog is damaged further and at worst does something avoidable. IMO totally down to you, not the dog or the rescue.

We can't get him into the car to get to the classes! We had a trainer come to our home but he just barked at her the entire time she was in the house, she advised us to teach him tricks to build his confidence, which we have done but he still won't go near a car. There are no classes that we can walk to and I don't think he would enter the building even if we could.

“We can commit but we are overwhelmed with how to do it. We read so much and make training plans but they don't seem to relate to real life and our dog.”

When you say you’ve had advice from trainers and behaviourist?....have you not had a proper assessment and them given you a training plan?

And I’d second the - you want someone who specialises in foreign rescues, the first trainer I approached is very well regarded, qualified and is i suspect usually very good, but I only had one session with her because she was trying to give me more usual training stuff to do, which was all stuff I’d already started but was never going to do anything about the fact that he was reacting every time my DP moved anywhere in the house....