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The doghouse

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Original poster

I'm lonely and not very brave (it turns out)

34 replies

everybodystalking · 09/01/2022 17:46

My beautiful rescue spaniel died on 31 Dec. She had been with us for 9.5 years . I'm missing her so much. My whole life has changed and I'm not enjoying it. I'm a lone parent of older children and for various reasons (mostly increased work hours and pandemic response) I won't be able to adopt another dog until I retire or can reduce hours (unlikely). Kids are going to uni, growing up and doing all that they should...they don't want me being sad and mopey...so I'm being brave around them ...mostly, They miss her too of course but they have other stuff ging on too. But I just want to cry...can I cry here please?

OP posts:
TrashyPanda · 09/01/2022 17:47

Of course

Huge hugs

ChardonnaysPetDragon · 09/01/2022 17:48

It's horrible isn't it, and it takes away as in way of life.

So sorry to hear that OP. Cry as much as you need, we understand.

Original poster
everybodystalking · 09/01/2022 17:50

Thank you

OP posts:
CeleriacOfTheNight · 09/01/2022 17:51

Cry it out @everybodystalking Flowers

When we lost our boy, I cried every single day for 6 months. I was like you and tried to put a brave face on for the kids, but whenever I found myself on my own, the tears would flow. I got a few horrified looks from fellow drivers Grin

It does get better with time though. Sorry for your loss ❤️

Glenthebattleostrich · 09/01/2022 17:52

Oh lovely, cry away.

When we lost our first dog I sobbed for days and still miss the funny little mutt now almost 25 years later. Losing my shepherd broke my heart, he helped me get over an abusive relationship and was my rock. I miss him too 17 years on.

My mum has a picture wall of paintings of her babies. Yes our family dogs, not the kids!!! They were ALWAYS her favourites!

Losing a pet for me us like losing part of myself, so yake your time and be kind to yourself. Sending huge hugs

GenialHarryGr0ut · 09/01/2022 17:52

Lovely picture OP.

She was obviously so loved and lucky to be in your family

Glenthebattleostrich · 09/01/2022 17:53

Oh she was gorgeous, such a pretty little face.

HolidayNanny · 09/01/2022 17:53

She looks like a darling. I'm so sorry she died. Sad Even if you can't adopt at the mo how about volunteering as a dog walker for a rescue centre? Even if it can only be occasional they'd probably appreciate that. If it's too soon to want to be around other dogs you could look at other volunteer work? Help you meet like minded people and get out from then house?

GenialHarryGr0ut · 09/01/2022 17:54

@Glenthebattleostrich

Oh lovely, cry away.

When we lost our first dog I sobbed for days and still miss the funny little mutt now almost 25 years later. Losing my shepherd broke my heart, he helped me get over an abusive relationship and was my rock. I miss him too 17 years on.

My mum has a picture wall of paintings of her babies. Yes our family dogs, not the kids!!! They were ALWAYS her favourites!

Losing a pet for me us like losing part of myself, so yake your time and be kind to yourself. Sending huge hugs

Yes - I still have the occasional sob over all the dogs I have owned. My sister recently described my hallway as a gallery consisting of dead dog photographs... (dogs that are now dead, not pics of actual dead dogs)
Honeyroar · 09/01/2022 17:54

Gorgeous pup. Hugs to you. It’s so tough losing them.

What about something like The Cinnamon Trust? Walking a dog for someone elderly or unwell? Or Borrow my doggy? When I was cabin crew I knew a lot of crew that has dogs and left them with “sharers” while they were away. Or even a local rescue might like help walking/caring for their dogs?

Letsnotargue · 09/01/2022 17:58

Sending sympathetic thoughts OP. Dogs quickly become a central part of your life and when they go it leaves a huge gaping hole.

Could you maybe foster for a rescue? Even if you can’t adopt again right now this might give you the dog fix you need. I’m considering this as we lost our dog before Christmas and I feel completely lost. we’d adopted him as an oldie and even though we only had him 8 months he gave structure to my pandemic-ridden working at home life and I just can’t regain my feeling of purpose.

It won’t be long before you can look back on all your photos and smile 😊

Original poster
everybodystalking · 09/01/2022 17:59

Ah she was great.
@Glenthebattleship She arrived after I got out of an abusive realtionship too and was such good therapy for all of us. She was rescued from bad circumstances but you would never have known. She was the sweetest gentlest girl....unless you were a black lab in which case your card was marked (all noise though no teeth!). She died of cardiorenal failure and was only really unwell for a couple of days (which she spent lying on a cushion being hand fed Christmas turkey!!) so as these things go it was a "good death".
Adjusting is taking its toll but I am very very grateful for her

OP posts:
Boboparadise · 09/01/2022 18:02

She was a very pretty lady. Wish we could have them forever

helpfulperson · 09/01/2022 18:09

Of course you can cry. Could you perhaps Foster or support some locally who can't walk their dog. I think it's the cinnamon Trust who do this. Even a couple of walks a week would help.

Original poster
everybodystalking · 09/01/2022 18:10

Thank you to everyone for talking with me...it really helps! Making me realise that between work and children I've got a bit lost in the last 10 years.....

OP posts:
theNumbersStation · 09/01/2022 18:11

Cry away.

I still cry very nearly 7 years on. I got my rescue girl after my abusive relationship ended. We healed each other. It took time but she was my world. And a reason for living. Or wanting to.

If I may?

“Ay, the pain it costs me
to love you as I love you!

For love of you, the air, it hurts,
and my heart,
and my hat, they hurt me.

Who would buy it from me,
this ribbon I am holding,
and this sadness of cotton,
white, for making handkerchiefs with?

Ay, the pain it costs me
to love you as I love you!”

—Federico García Lorca

The pain is in direct comparison to the love.

You say you are grateful? I’ll bet she was too.

I’m so sorry for your loss. She looks a wee smasher X🌻

theNumbersStation · 09/01/2022 18:12

We never have them long enough 🌻

Original poster
everybodystalking · 09/01/2022 18:12

I'll look at helping others out with their furry beasties but am front line at the moment and not very reliable for time off therefore....hopefully 2022 will improve and I'll be able to get out there a bit

OP posts:
FMSucks · 09/01/2022 18:17

I’m so sorry for your loss @everybodystalking. I too lost my boy on 18th Dec very suddenly (bastard cancer). I have really struggled tbh. He’s my 3rd dog but has been with me through so much. I know a part of me died when he died. I’m sending you a big hug. It’s so so hard xx

SirVixofVixHall · 09/01/2022 18:41

So sorry Op.
I had a dog who was with me through some very tough times, and when he died I was utterly heartbroken. I cried at random times for months , often on the bus if I saw a dog that looked like him.
I did get a new puppy, but even as I grew to love my new companion I still missed my old one.
It is really hard when a loved animal friend dies and it can take a long time to adjust. Flowers for you.

Thatldo · 10/01/2022 04:38

Of course you can cryFlowers.when my last dog died, I cried every day for months.I think it is sooo painful,because whenever you struggled in life,your best mate was straight there for you and like a true soulmate helped you get over your pain.And now of course for the first time,in your deepest pain,she is not there anymore.I feel for you and sending you a big big hug.Time will heal your aching heart and one day,you will hold a little furry 4legger in your arms again.This is life:nothing ever lasts,bad times pass and good times pass and we just try to do our best.Your lovely spaniel had the best life with youFlowers

piney07 · 10/01/2022 04:44

I’m so sorry for your loss, she looks just beautiful and reminds me of mine. Please do set up an account on borrow my doggy when you are ready. Our spaniel has a few regular borrowers, some take her for an occasional night here and there and others are more regular. She loves them all and has a really nice doggy community now.

tabulahrasa · 10/01/2022 08:43

I’ve had times where a dog has died and it’s going to be a few years before it’s going to be the right timing to get another - that’s why I also have a cat...

Much lower maintenance than dogs, quite happy with much more alone time than dogs, but still good company.

Original poster
everybodystalking · 10/01/2022 20:02

you're all so kind. Thank you. It really helps.

OP posts:
guinnessandblackcurrant · 10/01/2022 20:18

It was a year yesterday since I lost my gorgeous Springer and I still have a cry some days but what I also have is such a lot of laughs remembering all the fun we had. Every path, every puddle reminds me of her. I totally understand how sad you must be but I bet she only knew happiness and love in her days with you x

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