I'm lonely and not very brave (it turns out)

[everybodystalking]

My beautiful rescue spaniel died on 31 Dec. She had been with us for 9.5 years . I'm missing her so much. My whole life has changed and I'm not enjoying it. I'm a lone parent of older children and for various reasons (mostly increased work hours and pandemic response) I won't be able to adopt another dog until I retire or can reduce hours (unlikely). Kids are going to uni, growing up and doing all that they should...they don't want me being sad and mopey...so I'm being brave around them ...mostly, They miss her too of course but they have other stuff ging on too. But I just want to cry...can I cry here please?

Springers are my breed, OP and though breed doesn't really matter there is often an extra pull when someone grieves the breed(s) you grieve.

Cry away. The grief you feel is such a testament to your dog. That she, "just" a dog, should be loved so greatly and missed so much when she is gone.

Eventually, the pain gives way to the smiling and laughing over old stories and anecdotes. She moves into family legend and lives on through that.

Your children will remember her when they are grown futher and will always see liver and white springers and think of her.

What an achievement for a little dog!

@theNumbersStation what a poem that is. It's stayed with me since I saw it recited in Call the Midwife and is such a simple expression of the pain of love when that recipient of that love is lost.

Sorry for your loss.
Would another furry friend help fill the gap? If not a dog, maybe a cat or an indoor guinea pig. They're very good company and quite chatty.

@SirSniffsAlot

Me too.

And what Phyllis said after.

“And if I may, the price it costs, to love? I believe it is always worth it”

Plain. Simple. Beautiful. And true.

The pain it costs to love - not price.

Not sure how that happened 🤨

I'm sorry for your loss.
Cats can also be fantastic cuddly company for people who have slightly busier lives.
In time it might be worth considering.

oh OP I totally sympathise.

My beautiful Springer is a rescue, he is 7, we have had him for 4 years.
We have just been told he has terminal renal failure. We are hoping to have a few months. I am loving him and grieving already.

They a such an important part of our lives. Unconditional love.

Your girl was beautiful.

What a beautiful girl....
You are giving a lot of yourself by working hard on the front line OP, and must especially miss her not being with you at home.
I also hear what you are saying about having older kids.. there is a lot of adjustment going on in your life. Do take care of yourself. X

thank you all.
I washed the last load of muddy towels and bedding today...they'll go to the local rescue...it will help to know they will help.

I know I would rather have loved and lost than never loved at all.

You are all so wonderful helping me through.
I think you are right, it may be time for a feline friend...a different sort of loving.

Love to all of you who have lost your furry friends and especially @steppemum who is treading the difficult path. Enjoy all the moments, I know you will and your beautiful springer will know how much they are loved.

So very sorry op, l know the pain of losing a beloved furry friend, it really hurts....
As soon as you can take in a rescue... cat ...if a dog is too much.

It does get easier, keep posting