“Don’t worry he/she is friendly”

[Shouldofgotahamster85]

Said as their dear ddog comes bounding over leaping all over us and our pup gives me the rage

We are taking dpup for walks at the moment and she is being really good. She has lots of dog friends she plays with but when out walking we are teaching her to sit or walk quietly past other dogs/ people and I’ve lost count of how many times this has happened to us now.

We do get a balance of nicely behaved dogs and owners but today we just seemed to meet some incredibly oblivious people!

My response usually is yes but ds isn't (unpredictable suspect autism terrified of most dogs he will lash out run away scream like he has been murdered etc) the thing is (what I loudly told someone a bit fucking stupid) if you let your dog approach my child and he lashes out and your dog reacts and bites its YOUR FAULT not mine my child's OR the dog YOURS because my child is next to me he doesn't leave my side unlike your dog your dog is the one who will pay the price for YOUR actions don't put your dog in a situation where they could get hurt its that simple

Mine's not friendly with dogs she doesn't know (after being carefully introduced) after being attacked on lead when she was young.
She's always on lead when we're around people and dogs because she's also really friendly with people and thinks everyone loves her, and I appreciate everyone doesn't!
Luckily she's small so I can pick her up when people allow their dog to approach while telling me it's ok as their dog is friendly, I appreciate that's not easy with a bigger dog though and probably not the best answer when you're trying to socialise a dog and teach how to behave with other dogs too.
Gives me the rage too, my dog doesn't bother with other dogs if they don't with her, and despite asking people to keep their dogs under control and away, somehow it's still my fault if I have hold of my dog and then get jumped all over by another dog 'just being friendly '. 🤬

It gives me rage and is just a synonym for I don’t give a shit what they’re doing right now and I say that as a dog lover/owner. We had a dalliance with one of these this morning.

We went out for breakfast in a family friendly/dog welcome/country cafe thing with the children this morning. There’s a big toy area where the children can bring bits to play with and my youngest went over to bring something back to the table.

There was a woman (maybe forty odd) dressed up to the nines with two red setters talking to a woman at the reception, one of them spots DC and LUNGES. She’s dropped the lead onto the floor as she’s talking and this dog SPRINTS towards him and starts jumping on top of him knocking him over.

She’s makes no effort to recall it other than calling it’s name half heartedly and luckily DC loves dogs so he’s not overly phased. DH goes to oink this dog off him and she suddenly flounces over claps her hands and goes, ‘he’s only playing’ before finally taking the lead and getting him. No apology, nothing.

DS brings his toy back to the table and the dog wanders over twice more before we ask can you keep it under control and make him leave my child alone. She huffs and puffs, repeats he’s only playing and says DS was egging him on before finally taking it and leaving.

It was wholeheartedly bizarre and completely inappropriate. If people are not just to take dogs into public restaurants but to own them then they need to be able to keep them under control.

Glad it’s not just me that feels the rage. Luckily can pick dpup up as still small if we need to as she is slightly nervy by nature we try to just get her focused on us and walking past or sitting

Today prime example, family with young kid, young kid can barely hold the dog and is being dragged about. Dog then starts dragging her over towards us, dog yapping away, whilst adult says oh they are friendly we just said but you don’t know ours is. Very annoying

I do say this, but only because GrouchyDog is enormous and fluffy and black, and if she's off lead it's because she's legged it when children have opened the gate. I say it to put people at ease when she comes to see them while I chase after with the lead.

GrouchyDog is super into people, which is why I always keep her on lead, so if she manages to get out when she shouldn't she makes a beeline for the nearest unsuspecting pedestrian.

I find it really makes a difference where I walk.

In the 'arse end of no where' which is forest or countryside then you get owners that typically have dogs that recall or just have a sniff and walk on. In parks and more popular areas then you get owners that want their dog to play with all the others dogs.

I honestly can't get worked up about this, I think it's quite a natural thing to say to put people at ease when a large dog bounds up to them and isn't really meant to get them off the hook re. jumping up. Loads of dog owners have said if to me and I can't see what the fuss is.

KurtDogs are through the puppy phase and don't jump up anymore but they are a) very large and b) super inquisitive. So yes, I do call out that they're friendly if they go to say hi to someone, never had a negative response (although I'm now assuming people just come on here to complain about it), and my dogs have excellent recall so will come straight back to me after saying hello.

@KurtWildesChristmasNamechange

I honestly can't get worked up about this, I think it's quite a natural thing to say to put people at ease when a large dog bounds up to them and isn't really meant to get them off the hook re. jumping up. Loads of dog owners have said if to me and I can't see what the fuss is.

KurtDogs are through the puppy phase and don't jump up anymore but they are a) very large and b) super inquisitive. So yes, I do call out that they're friendly if they go to say hi to someone, never had a negative response (although I'm now assuming people just come on here to complain about it), and my dogs have excellent recall so will come straight back to me after saying hello.

Not everyone wants your dog to say hello in the first place though. And just because people are too polite to say anything doesn't mean everyone is ok with it. My dd is terrified of dogs due to a couple of previous encounters and you'd get a negative reaction from me if your dog came to say hello. Maybe you could use that excellent recall before they approach people rather than after?

I think my dog must have been hurt by a bigger dog bouncing on him ( he has had a really serious back injury ) so now he reacts to big dogs running really fast at him. I can't blame him really as when they run towards him and me they are big enough to cause me to brace myself let alone him.

The 'just friendly' is fine for telling someone that their dog won't bite ( used when I recall mine as theirs is on a lead ) but lazy when its used for 'I have no control of my bouncy big dog and don't give a shit'.

@BigMamaFratelli how would they be comfortable and well socialised in public if they're never allowed to socialise with people and other dogs in that setting then?

@BiteyShark

I find it really makes a difference where I walk.

In the 'arse end of no where' which is forest or countryside then you get owners that typically have dogs that recall or just have a sniff and walk on. In parks and more popular areas then you get owners that want their dog to play with all the others dogs.

^this We really limited visits to dog parks, busy walking areas (going to those when it's a bit rainy is perfect!) & tried to go to forests, country parks etc where there was just more space and a lower concentration of dogs. AwkwardPup is 15 months now and can handle the busier places well, but as a younger pup I wanted him focused on me, not playing with every dog he met.

I always put him on the lead if I see another onlead dog approaching, it's just polite. We did have a hairy moment or two during adolescence where his formerly great recall suddenly disappeared so I try to be kind as you never know what the other person's situation is, but it is a bit frustrating at times.

We had a particularly difficult moment with a couple who were letting their puppy run up to every dog in the park. AwkwardPup was sitting under a picnic bench while we had a coffee, I was dropping the occasional treat to reinforce the settle, & the puppy ran over and tried to snag the treat from under his nose. Made my dog look like a terrible nasty beast as he growled at the thief.

Yes agree @BigMamaFratelli!!

@KurtWildesChristmasNamechange I will choose how and when my dog socialises to ensure it goes positively with good safe introductions. Random dogs bounding up just causes our dpup to get nervous at the moment so isn’t helpful at all

@BiteyShark I was just saying to dh let’s pick places that aren’t so popular for a while as it’s starting to make me anxious which I know will impact on dpup

I've been recommended to shout 'mine's got a cough!' if an owner isn't bothering to recall theirs (although I do think some owners are so dumb that they're more likely to think Covid than kennel cough).

I'm gobsmacked how many owners get aggressive about being asked to call their dog back, I feel your pain, it makes training so much harder.

I shout back "my dog isn't too friendly"

he is, he'd love to play

he's a giant breed, the owner soon starts screaming and running over 😂

I enjoy watching the scramble.

Then their dog arrives and my dog and theirs start playing and interacting just fine, but by this time the owner of the loose dog is all panicked and once covered in mud because they fell over in the panic. I smirk 😏

[quote KurtWildesChristmasNamechange]@BigMamaFratelli how would they be comfortable and well socialised in public if they're never allowed to socialise with people and other dogs in that setting then? [/quote]
How is it anyone else's responsibility to socialise your dogs

I don't care if you dogs are comfortable either, I care if my child is comfortable.

I've now had to soft muzzle two of my large rescue breeds

Not because of their behaviour as they are lead and harnessed up and on shorter leads however the sheer amount of small dogs on extender leads that are allowed by their owners to pull and bark straight over to mine are an accident waiting to happen and I'm pissed off with it.

Had an altercation with a guy recently whereby his small dog pulled the extender lead right upto my largest dog snapping and barking on arrival.

It jumped upto the face of my dog and nearly lost its head

I told the owner that's his fault and he blamed his own dog and said it would serve him right if he got bitten.
Have him a few home truths in front of his wife and wakes off.

@KurtWildesChristmasNamechange

Who are you going to blame if your friendly dog runs up to a dog like mine who's unfriendly and a bite or fight ensues? Despite the fact mines the one under control on a lead and yours is the one doing the approaching and you either refuse to use your dogs 'excellent' recall by allowing it to approach in the first place, or you know fine well that your dog will ignore your recall until it's 'said hello'?
I'd bet you'd be blaming me and saying I should muzzle my dog, so that yours can approach unhindered and do what it wants without getting into a situation where it might get bitten or into a fight, so you don't have to use that excellent recall until you decide you want to.

Keeping your dog away from others without express permission would be a better solution really.

It's the law that all dogs must be under control in public. Although my mastiffs recall is exceptional it's still not fool proof because they are animals with their own mind.

Walk your dog's on appropriate leads where you have full control.

Dogs don't need "doggy friends" they don't need to say hello to every dog or person they come across. They are animals, they are happy with their human family.

A good socialised dog is actually a dog that doesn't care about other people and dogs on walks and can be happy on their own. Walk past without becoming responsive.

Should a dog/person approach the owner should have full control and tell the dog to sit. The dog then understands it's secondary to this interaction and wait patiently to be greeted by the human.

I'm not sure where this idea of dogs should all be playing and jumping over other strange dogs come from. They are animals not children in a day care. Even the happiest friendliest of dogs can suddenly become upset with another dog.

Play with your dog by all means, but they don't need "friends". Especially large guarding breeds, if you read many breed standards you'll note they say they are "aloof" that's fine. Ridgebacks, dobermans, bullies, mastiffs. Even some terriers. Allow an aloof dog to be aloof it's not a bad thing.

[quote KurtWildesChristmasNamechange]@BigMamaFratelli how would they be comfortable and well socialised in public if they're never allowed to socialise with people and other dogs in that setting then? [/quote]
Socialising does not mean going up and meeting everyone or dog that they see.

It means being indifferent to them, to see them, to be able to focus on their owner around them. To be able to walk past without interacting or if suitable to interact with their owners consent.

Dogs should not be allowed to meet and greet without consent from the people or dogs . Basic manners and respect

*I find it really makes a difference where I walk.

In the 'arse end of no where' which is forest or countryside then you get owners that typically have dogs that recall or just have a sniff and walk on. In parks and more popular areas then you get owners that want their dog to play with all the others dogs.*

I think that in general the sort of people who go to a bit of trouble to take their dog somewhere, tend to be a bit more sensible, plus they are there for a walk with the dog and not a chat while the animal amuses itself. So more tuned in.

It drives me nuts too.

My dogs are friendly but I simply don’t want them playing with others.

My dogs aren’t responsible for socialising or ‘telling off’ someone else’s dog. Nor do I want to use them to catch someone’s out of control usually poodle thing that won’t recall, I just keep walking and watch them run. Keep it on a lead if you can’t stop it approaching people!

@KurtWildesChristmasNamechange

I honestly can't get worked up about this, I think it's quite a natural thing to say to put people at ease when a large dog bounds up to them and isn't really meant to get them off the hook re. jumping up. Loads of dog owners have said if to me and I can't see what the fuss is.

KurtDogs are through the puppy phase and don't jump up anymore but they are a) very large and b) super inquisitive. So yes, I do call out that they're friendly if they go to say hi to someone, never had a negative response (although I'm now assuming people just come on here to complain about it), and my dogs have excellent recall so will come straight back to me after saying hello.

@KurtWildesChristmasNamechange but what about people/dogs that don't want your large dogs to say hello to them. I love dogs and would be very happy to be greeted by two large dogs but surely you can see that not everyone does? I'm sorry but you're giving dog owners a bad name.

This absolutely infuriates me. ChenPup is only 16 weeks and still wee - he’s kept on the lead because he has no recall and he’s still learning about the world around him. 98% of dogs we’ve met have been brilliant, they’re either on the lead themselves when their owners see mine on his, or they approach quietly and sniff, before the 2 of them agree to play. Yesterday a completely out of control spaniel came bounding up to him, barking and leaping about inches in front of him and he was obviously not happy - arsehole owner didn’t apologise, just got all uppity when DH told him to get his dog under control. He started giving us attitude but hadn’t banked on DH who can give way more than he gets when riled.

We’ve had a very experienced trainer out to the house for some 1:1 sessions and start with her group in the new year - she has lots to say about dogs with no/poor recall being off lead and owners who don’t fully understand the concept of socialisation.