Page 4 | “Don’t worry he/she is friendly”

SirChenjins · 31/12/2021 13:49

Sometimes “fuck off” is the only language these idiot dog owners understand @bestbeforedateexpired - there’s no reasoning with them.

I do understand about cockapoos being a trend @CoedenNadolig, I just wish other owners wouldn’t make assumptions, I’m very well aware of the ‘real dog pecking order’! The hypoallergenic element was one of the main reasons we got him, but there were others which are not linked to the current trend for them (if you knew us in RL you’d know we are definitely not trendy people!!).

LondonWolf · 31/12/2021 13:51

Reassurance gives you the rage?

I understand that people may be irritated by other people’s dogs and that badly trained dogs are a nightmare but I don’t think reassurance of a good temperament in order to take the apprehension out of a strained situation is a bad thing. Would you prefer they don’t engage at all except to abruptly snatch their dog back so that no one has any idea of what could happen? I know MNetters all claim to have “bomb proof” dogs but I am afraid I don’t believe it because I have never in my life seen one - and I used to be a dog walker. Every dog has the potential to go “off schedule” if circumstances permit.

thetinsoldier · 31/12/2021 14:01

A lot of dog owners are completely blind to the fact that other people don't love their dog as much as they do. It's infuriating.

ErrolTheDragon · 31/12/2021 14:01

No, it's not 'reassurance' in the context the OP clearly states:
Said as their dear ddog comes bounding over leaping all over us and our pup

It's just an excuse for them letting their dog behave inappropriately.

ErrolTheDragon · 31/12/2021 14:03

If you want friendly engagement first get your dog under close control, then you can say he's friendly and proceed from there.

icedcoffees · 31/12/2021 14:16

@LondonWolf

Reassurance gives you the rage?

I understand that people may be irritated by other people’s dogs and that badly trained dogs are a nightmare but I don’t think reassurance of a good temperament in order to take the apprehension out of a strained situation is a bad thing. Would you prefer they don’t engage at all except to abruptly snatch their dog back so that no one has any idea of what could happen? I know MNetters all claim to have “bomb proof” dogs but I am afraid I don’t believe it because I have never in my life seen one - and I used to be a dog walker. Every dog has the potential to go “off schedule” if circumstances permit.

The point is that it doesn't provide any reassurance whatsoever. It's just a platitude trotted out by people who can't control their dogs.

I don't really care how friendly your dog supposedly is - it still shouldn't be barrelling over to strangers and their dogs. It's rude and all it shows is that you have absolutely no control over them, and no care over the impact their behaviour has on other people.

I appreciate accidents happen and dogs slip their leads and collars can break etc, but nine times out of ten, dogs who run over to others aren't there because they've gone "off schedule" - it's because they have poor recall and poor manners and their owners are oblivious or just don't care.

I will openly admit that my own dog isn't bombproof, which is precisely why he's often on a lead. That lead should signify to you (as an owner) that it's not okay for your dog to charge over to us.

If you can't recall your dog, put it on a lead or a long-line so you can control it and keep it away from others. It's really not a difficult concept to grasp!

SirChenjins · 31/12/2021 14:35

Funnily enough, the thing that would reassure me most is your dog being put on its lead or not barrelling up to mine in the first place - swiftly followed by an fulsome apology if it does. The level of friendliness of a dog I’ve never met before is completely irrelevant to me and signifies an owner that doesn’t really give a fuck - you usually see them on subsequent walks with their dog still off-lead.

Knowivedonewrong · 31/12/2021 15:21

I've had someone tell me that my reactive dog shouldn't be walked in the Country Park, "as it's a dog park" whilst letting her lab puppy approach my on lead Goldie. She got told to Fuck Off!

FestiveFuckery · 31/12/2021 15:42

I used to just respond with "well I'm not" but it used to be a bit of a joke. Now I'm just a grumpy dog lady

Omicrone · 31/12/2021 15:48

[quote KurtWildesChristmasNamechange]@BigMamaFratelli how would they be comfortable and well socialised in public if they're never allowed to socialise with people and other dogs in that setting then? [/quote]
With respect, that's your problem not mine.

Dogs coming up to you and then the owner saying 'oh don't worry he's friendly' gives me the rage.

And no, they won't react negatively to you because most people are polite and don't want to cause a fuss, but your dog bounding up to them unsolicited is bound to piss at least some people off.

My DH doesn't give a shit though and dogs have about 3 seconds to get down/move on before he will tell the owner to get a lead on them.

Omicrone · 31/12/2021 15:50

Reassurance gives you the rage?

It's not 'reassurance' I'm looking for. I just don't want dogs umping up to me when I am out for a walk.

cherrypie66 · 31/12/2021 18:31

Your taking it too seriously lighten up

hettie · 31/12/2021 19:18

Hmme, so we are quite careful with puppy. He is not 'allowed' to race up to on lead dogs. I have been fairly sure of his recall, but today on a new beach it was shaky (he's six months ago you know teenage bollocks). But...it was the first time I've had a blatent ignore. I fetched him out him on lead and apologised, but got absolute dagger eyes. Pup was not jumping up or barking or dashing about I put him on lead as quick as. Other dog wasn't particularly giving piss off vibes either . ... All I'm saying is it's a little tricky to be perfect all the time and give opportunity to learn...

youkiddingme · 31/12/2021 19:25

I had this while someone's dog was jumping all over me. For ages. I ended up covered in mud and my sinusitis - I'm allergic to dog hair - flared up badly.
On another occasion, it was said to my daughter while a dog slobbered all over her and she couldn't get out of the way in her wheelchair.
Inconsiderate dog owners really annoy me.

BiteyShark · 31/12/2021 19:53

@hettie

Hmme, so we are quite careful with puppy. He is not 'allowed' to race up to on lead dogs. I have been fairly sure of his recall, but today on a new beach it was shaky (he's six months ago you know teenage bollocks). But...it was the first time I've had a blatent ignore. I fetched him out him on lead and apologised, but got absolute dagger eyes. Pup was not jumping up or barking or dashing about I put him on lead as quick as. Other dog wasn't particularly giving piss off vibes either . ... All I'm saying is it's a little tricky to be perfect all the time and give opportunity to learn...

Most of us have had wayward dogs but how you react makes the difference.

Most apologies are accepted if meant but you can tell the half arsed ones so if it was one of those I can understand the other person. Yours might have been 100% but if not it is very obvious.

I always recognise that dogs are twats at times when it is obvious that their owner is trying.

landofgiants · 31/12/2021 20:17

It's "don't worry he's friendly" beforehand, and "he's never done anything like that before" afterwards! Or my favourites are "well he wouldn't have done that if your dog hadn't been on a lead/started it/looked at him etc".

I think you need to develop a thick skin to walk dogs but it does make me very cross when they are allowed to knock kids over/jump up on them etc. It's not uncommon for children to be frightened of dogs (usually due to past bad experience) so I think it is odd when dog owners don't understand this. My DS (who used to be terrified of dogs) was given a stern ticking off once(for being frightened ), from a man in our village whose dog (a lab/retriever type) had just run at him barking its head off!

FestiveFuckery · 31/12/2021 23:42

@BiteyShark completely agree. If someone's dog plays up but the owner is genuinely apologetic, I'm grateful and all anger is removed. We all know dogs and owners aren't perfect but they don't need to be dicks.

fairylightsandwaxmelts · 01/01/2022 06:59

@hettie

Hmme, so we are quite careful with puppy. He is not 'allowed' to race up to on lead dogs. I have been fairly sure of his recall, but today on a new beach it was shaky (he's six months ago you know teenage bollocks). But...it was the first time I've had a blatent ignore. I fetched him out him on lead and apologised, but got absolute dagger eyes. Pup was not jumping up or barking or dashing about I put him on lead as quick as. Other dog wasn't particularly giving piss off vibes either . ... All I'm saying is it's a little tricky to be perfect all the time and give opportunity to learn...

Nobody is perfect - we've all had moments where our dogs have been total dicks and run up to someone else

At least you apologised but I do understand why the owners were annoyed - it can be really stressful trying to control an on-lead dog when someone else's dog has bounded over and won't leave you alone.

hettie · 01/01/2022 10:11

The bugger is now looking perfectly perfect like butter wouldn't melt.. It's a new thing I think. It's very frustrating but it will be back to the lead/longline and reinforce reinforce I guess...

pigsDOfly · 01/01/2022 12:33

@icedcoffees

As I said upthread our dog (a beagle) is leash reactive though he's absolutely perfect off the lead.

DH took him up the woods this morning - we have him on the lead there at this time of year as otherwise he'll disappear on the first scent he catches and we'd never be able to get him back.

He was approached by an off-lead dachshund that was seriously reactive - snarling, barking and growling. He pulled our dog as close to him as possible to stop anything kicking off, but the owners just apologised and said "you think you're so hard (dog name) - you're a dachshund not a Rottweiler" - as if that somehow makes the behaviour acceptable?

Little dogs seem to get away with such bad behaviour whereas if it was a German Shepherd behaving that way, the owners would be told to get rid of their vicious/aggressive monster.

Little dogs seem to get away with such bad behaviour whereas if it was a German Shepherd behaving that way, the owners would be told to get rid of their vicious/aggressive monster.

Might have been better to have put the word 'some' at the beginning of that paragraph.

My dog is small and fluffy. She's been trained in exactly the same way as any larger dog.

She doesn't run up to and jump at other dogs, or people, nor does she snarl, or bark at them, in fact she generally completely ignores other dogs.

She has absolutely reliable recall and is well behaved on the lead and off.

I know plenty of small dogs that behave in the same way.

Most of the dog's that have run at and jumped on her/me, while their ineffectual owners stand there pointlessly yelling the dog's name, have been large dogs so I supposed if I wanted to make unsubstantiated sweeping statements I could say that all large dog's get away with bad behaviour but I wouldn't because that would be stupid, as most sweeping statements are.

There are untrained/badly trained dogs of all sizes and over the years I've met a good cross sample of both large and small ones.

SirChenjins · 01/01/2022 13:03

I agree @pigsDOfly - as an owner of a cockapoo (and therefore someone who doesn’t own a proper dog but instead has succumbed to fashion apparently) sweeping generalisations don’t sit well with me. Mine is always on his lead because he’s a puppy and has no recall, I wish owners of dogs of all sizes were the same.

When did this obsession to have dogs off leads start, I wonder? I grew up in the 70s and 80s - there weren’t as many dogs back then, certainly, and my friends who did have them took them for walks on lead. It was only if they were in the middle of nowhere did they get off lead - I certainly don’t remember them running around parks and so on. They all seemed happy, well behaved and well balanced dogs.

FestiveFuckery · 01/01/2022 15:26

Back in the 80s, in my hometown, it was relatively normal to see a dog walk itself and I was never aware of any behaviour issues. Just shit everywhere.

Castlegal · 01/01/2022 17:29

“Don’t worry he’s friendly” = “I’m an asshole who doesn’t care that you will break out in hives when my dog jumps on you”

It’s code for people who don’t care at all about the people around them and do not take responsibility for their animals.

tabulahrasa · 01/01/2022 19:35

“how would they be comfortable and well socialised in public if they're never allowed to socialise with people and other dogs in that setting then?”

Why would it be up to random other dogs and owners to socialise your dog for you? And why would you want or trust them to?

My current dog is a teenage thug at the moment, left loose he’d run up to any dog smaller than him, and barrel roll them and start playing... whether they want him to or not.

My last dog was dog reactive and muzzled and would try to attack any dog who ignored his massive get away body language signals and came to greet him anyway.

Trying to socialise a dog with either of them isn’t going to get you a dog with good dog social skills.

“Reassurance gives you the rage?”

It’s not reassurance though, genuinely friendly dogs don’t need anyone saying that as they approach, because they would approach politely.

The dogs that have someone saying that are like mine, where yes, they’re not aggressive, but they also don’t pay any attention to whether the other dog wants to interact. They just do what they want to do. So as soon as someone says that you know what they actually mean is, my dog has a behavioural issue that I’m neither managing or training because it’s not an issue for me.