I do not enjoy DDog

[RoughGruff]

I have a lovely little rescue dog. He is two , very clever and knows quite a few commands. However, he’s also very stubborn and a lot of the more complex commands are on his terms (he will only “come” if you have a treat for him and he really plays on this sometimes).

Anyway, as lovely as he is , I’m really struggling to enjoy him as I’m so anxious about him barking :( .

He’s a small breed but he isn’t yappy. He does bark at times as dogs do but I feel like I’m constantly trying to avoid a bark as to not annoy our neighbours and it’s very stressful. (Our neighbours have never complained and are very nice) .

During the week we have a good routine. He gets up around 7am and has a stuffed kong with his meal in it. This generally keeps him quiet until we leave to walk to school around 8am. When we come home he’s usually tired out from the walk and will just potter with me.

On the weekend I’m constantly on edge trying to ensure he doesn’t so much as gruff until 9am and it’s very stressful! I’m constantly refilling his kong and trying to distract him from the DC as he barks at them to play . A morning walk livens him up too much and he tends to bark more.

His barking isn’t constant. It’s single barks a few times apart when he’s playing (I remove his toy when he does this), sometimes he barks for attention (we ignore). Other times when the postman arrives or we get a delivery he is very vocal but it’s less than a minute as once we’ve “checked out the threat” he’s happy and calms down. He will often alert bark if the DC are play fighting as he perceives this as them hurting each other (this does not happen often) .

He is usually quiet mid week during the day as he tends to sleep. He’s playful around dinner time and before the DC go to bed so can do the odd spell of barking then (not constant).

Around 8pm he is very much chilled for the night unless he hears something outside and he will gruff or done one or two barks.

I’m on constant alert for it. When he goes for his final wee at night around 11pm , if he spots anything in the garden , he goes berserk and it stresses me out.

Very rarely, if he’s a bit of an upset tummy , he may need to toilet in the early hours of the morning and I’m terrified in case he starts barking at 3am!

I worry about what would happen if we ever had an emergency in the middle of the night and had emergency services over. He would go beserk. It’s always on my mind.

It sounds crazy written down but my stomach is in knots writing it down thinking of these scenarios where he will bark. I’m just not enjoying him at all because of this :(.

Does anyone have any advice?

I think you just have to remember that most people don't mind hearing a dog bark occasionally.

You sound like you’re worrying about this far more than is normal. He’s not barking excessively and your neighbours are not complaining.. Plus if he barked in the middle of an emergency I’m sure people would forgive you. It would be a one off..

My dog was pretty bad with barking at the door - we've been training an alternative behaviour (for us, that's going to his crate and waiting for a treat). It's slow going but after about six weeks of practice we are seeing a really big improvement.

I don't think I'd be too bothered by the occasional gruff - honestly I think I hear my neighbours kids more running up and down the stairs. Repeated or sustained barking at the door would bother me more (obviously I'm not your neighbour, but if they've never mentioned the barking I'm not sure I'd be on constant eggshells for one gruff). In your shoes I would (& have!) focus on the door etc.

We keep our dog on the lead in the garden once its dark - not sure from your post if you do too, but that really helps as if he sees a fox we can take him straight back in. He now whines at them instead as he knows barking = go back inside.

I know nothing about dogs. (I actually only clicked on this because I wondered if you were my friend who has an awful dog! You’re not btw, very different dog!)

But it does sound to me like you’ve got worked up and got yourself into an anxious state about this - which I do know about! Looking at it from the outside, you’re worrying about nothing and you can honestly let it go and relax right now. This is a normal dog by the sounds of it and no one except you seems bothered at all. Dogs bark sometimes, yours doesn’t do it that much, and most people have no problem with occasional bit of woofing. I don’t really like dogs but what you’re describing wouldn’t bother me at all. Even at 3 am. Yes a dog barking all day and in distress, that would, but not a well-cared for dog barking now and again.

Are you anxious generally or tend to “latch on” to things to worry about? Just asking because I’m like that and I understand if so. Is there anything else about having a dog that’s worrying you?

I’ve just been reading the other thread about the reactive puppy and I’m going to try some tips from there to lessen his reaction to the doorbell. It’s never really sustained, less than a minute, once the postman is out of the garden, we let him out and he’s fine. But it just makes me stressed!

I very much am worrying about this far more than normal DH got the brunt of it when he didn’t immediately jump up to stop DDog barking. He says dogs bark

There's a great group called Dog Training Advice and Support on Facebook. Lots of really helpful positive dog training advice from experts.
www.facebook.com/groups/374160792599484/?ref=share

@MrsMadderRose I’m not generally anxious, it’s just the barking that is making me so. I don’t understand why I’m so worried about it. I don’t think he barks excessively.

We always bring him in from the garden if he barks and he never sits there barking and barking , it’s one bark, pause , one bark , pause , one bark .

Dogs do bark!
You're really overthinking it.

I do know that if emergency services came he would go beserk and continuously bark. The very thought of it makes me nervous.

I mean this kindly. But its not the dog. Your anxiety is ruining your enjoyment of the dog.

I think you need to look at this from a tackling your anxiety/stress poverty, rather than a dog issue. If you see what I mean.

@RoughGruff

I do know that if emergency services came he would go beserk and continuously bark. The very thought of it makes me nervous.

If the emergency services came there would be an emergency! Why is the idea if the dog barking in those circumstances making you feel so worried?

@RoughGruff

I do know that if emergency services came he would go beserk and continuously bark. The very thought of it makes me nervous.

How often have emergency services come to your home in the last, say, 10 years.

Is them coming a common occurrence?

I do understand I sound a bit unhinged . I just want to enjoy him without this hanging over me.

The neighbours down the street have two yappy dogs who bark on and off all day; they don’t give a hoot. I want to be like them.

@NynaeveSedai @Darkpheonix I have no idea

@Darkpheonix absolutely this is my issue. DDog is lovely but stubborn. I definitely need to tackle this and I’m hoping reading this posts can help me relax.

I would echo others-this feels like an anxiety about your impact on others-neighbours etc- that’s found a focus in the dog’s behaviour. I wonder if, were you to rehome the dog, it would simply find a different focus..?

Erm...nicely it sounds like a lot of it is you. 😬

That level of barking is totally normal for a small dog...I'd work on your anxiety more than as well as the dog.

My dog barks her head off when the postman comes. We tried training but have come to accept that while she is a little arsehole she is our arsehole...

[quote RoughGruff]**@NynaeveSedai* @Darkpheonix* I have no idea [/quote]
You don't know if it's a common occurrence?

Have you had emergency services out at all?

The vast majority of neighbours aremr going to complain that your dog was barking when you have had an ambulance out. If you ever do.

Do you not see how worrying about something that probably won't ever happen and if it did its not a big deal, isn't good for you?

And the worrying is about you....not the dog.

@MrsWooster that’s a very good point. I’m very conscious of our impact on others . Our neighbours both sides are elderly and we are the only family with DC.

@Darkpheonix sorry I was responding with “I have no idea “ as to why I’m so nervous about barking in an emergency.

In the last 10 years, we’ve had services here twice. That is a good point to think about and is exactly what I want from this thread.

@Darkpheonix

I mean this kindly. But its not the dog. Your anxiety is ruining your enjoyment of the dog.

I think you need to look at this from a tackling your anxiety/stress poverty, rather than a dog issue. If you see what I mean.

^ This Did you not realise that a dog would occasionally bark? I agree with pp, you need help with your anxiety.

It is absolutely me. I remember reading on here about not allowing DC outside to play on Sundays before 10am and I think this got me thinking that DDog should not bark at all before 9am .

It is ridiculous the lengths I go to on a Sunday morning to prevent it.

Pick one thing to work on for now and do it consistently for a week or two, or you'll drive yourself mad trying to train 10 new things at once. I'd go for the door, personally. Once you've cracked this, it will need consistent reinforcing for a while, but you can then add something else (if needed).

My dog would definitely bark at uniformed emergency services entering my house - if they were there, that would be the absolute least of my worries. I'd shut him in the kitchen and deal with the emergency.

Sorry I don’t understand and I read your OP twice.

What is the problem exactly? You have described a fairly non exciting and average dog who is going about his average day but somehow it’s setting you on edge?

I have a dog and I have a 6 year old and a nearly 2 year old. They make noise. Laughs giggles barks yaps shouts hilarity who knows what. Barely notice in the chaos In the weekends. Weekdays we both work FT so mornings and evenings are full on. Couldn’t say if she barks more or less or if the 2 year old tries to eat the 6 year old as too much going on.

What is the problem? You have an ordinary dog doing average type dog things. It’s rather uneventful isn’t it?

The strange thing is , I’m not generally anxious, but I am so hyper focused on not allowing the dog to bark. It’s ruling my day and it shouldn’t. I fantasise moving to a field in the middle of nowhere so I can relax . I know this is not normal thinking.