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The doghouse

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Original poster

What to do? - Can't go on like this.

49 replies

LadyCleathStuart · 26/11/2021 21:23

My issue is with my youngest dog who is 17 months. He is a big, strong and energetic lurcher. I have another lurcher who is sadly very old now so I have experience with them but the young one is something else.

The problem isn't with his energy or his greediness or any of the million annoying things he does which are typical of a 17 month old dog, my problem is that the minute DH leaves the house he becomes the biggest pain in the arse and I dread being left with him.

Now I know he is attention seeking, he steals things (can be anything lying around), pulls cushions off the couch, barks non stop, pulls things out the bin, runs in zoomies all over the rooms knocking things over. He wants my attention that is fine but I have two children and a job, I cannot possibly give him 100% attention, life just doesnt work like that.

Take today - DH and I have taken a cheeky day off work, we go out for breakfast (2 hours), dog is fine left with other dog, he doesn't mind being left, no issues, house not destroyed all good. Bought him home a new toy, played with it with him, made him up his puzzle toy, took him for a long walk. Got kids from school they come home he gets lots of cuddles etc. All good. DH takes DD out to a club, I take DS up for a bath and hear all hell breaking loose downstairs. Dog has decided to rip open the xmas tree box which has been sitting in the living room for 2 days and he has shown no interest. He has part of the tree and wants me to chase him. I take it off him, remove the box, fetch him his chew stick to occupy him, go back upstairs. Hear chaos again, he has taken the back cushion off the couch and is dragging it around, again he wants to play. Put him in the kitchen he calms until I come back downstairs (10 mins), I give him some treats for being good at last, DS gets his pencils out to draw, dog steals a pencil, wants me to chase him, dog steals DD's gloves that are lying on the worktop, wants me to chase him. DH was out for an hour so this all took place over that period of time. This happens every.single.time. DH leaves.

I'm on a waiting list for a local behaviourist but any ideas in the meantime would be much appreciated.

OP posts:
SweetBabyCheeses99 · 26/11/2021 21:43

Could you afford to give up work so that you can give more time to the dog?

Original poster
LadyCleathStuart · 26/11/2021 21:48

Well no. But both DH and I wfh so we are with him all day.

OP posts:
User5252727 · 26/11/2021 21:56

@SweetBabyCheeses99

Could you afford to give up work so that you can give more time to the dog?
Is this a serious suggestion?!
FungalLurkins · 26/11/2021 21:56

@SweetBabyCheeses99

Could you afford to give up work so that you can give more time to the dog?
Wow.

I probably wouldn't go straight for the SAHO option.

I'm no expert at all but from what you say it seems to me that he is attention seeking and you are responding by... giving him attention. Have you ever tried just ignoring him completely and totally and persistently whenever he behaves like this? And then balancing that by showering him with love and attention and treats when he is good and calm?

(if that doesn't work, quit your job obviously)

MrMrsJones · 26/11/2021 22:05

How much exercise is he getting? He sounds bored.

Can you hide his food instead of giving in a bowl, make him work for it.

Take him out for a run before the day starts, so he isn't so highly strung

Original poster
LadyCleathStuart · 26/11/2021 22:10

He gets lots of exercise and lots of enrichment activities but it never seems enough to stop this behaviour when DH is out.

I try to ignore him also but sometimes I can't for instace I can't let him ruin my (new) couch by dragging the cushions about, I can't let him chew pencils because he can hurt himself.

I would agree he was bored if he was like it all the time but he isn't. Only when DH is out though which is 2 nights a week for kids clubs then the odd trip to Tesco or whatever. The rest of the time he is fine (well an arsehole but in the normal realms of a 17 month old dog).

OP posts:
puppygalore · 26/11/2021 22:16

Would a doggy daycare or walker be an option while you wait for the behaviourist? Mine goes to daycare 2 days a week, we don't have other dogs and she loves the social aspect, plus they do training games and enrichment to tire her out which means she's much calmer on the days with me. Or perhaps find an online behaviourist who doesn't have such a long wait?

MrMrsJones · 26/11/2021 22:17

What about your husband giving him a high value treat when he goes out, he gets it when DH leaves and removes it when he gets back.

So instead of being an asshole, he will sit quietly with his treat

puppygalore · 26/11/2021 22:19

Oh just saw your update, so it's only when DH is out? Does your DH do most of the training and walks? I'm no expert but could it be a form of separation anxiety when he's out, or that ddog views you more as a playmate to be bonkers with and H as the 'owner' to be obeyed? My Lab is a similar age and I still have to do regular enforced naps in her crate or she gets overtired, destructive and zoomies obsessed. Maybe he's over stimulated if that's possible?

Moonlaserbearwolf · 26/11/2021 22:20

Is it the time of day that's significant? The dog misbehaves in the evening - when DH is out and you are upstairs putting a child to bed. Our dog (similar age) can be a bit destructive in the evenings if he's alone downstairs and we're doing things upstairs/one of us is out - but he wouldn't be at other times of the day. Only evening.

When he's like that I find the only solution is to take him for a walk in the dark to sniff around - sometimes just for 10-15 mins. When we return he's generally happy and settled. Does a nighttime walk make any difference to yours?

Puffykins · 26/11/2021 22:20

What about a dog-cage? So that he understands that there are times when he needs to be calm? You could also put his bed in it so that he sleeps in it at night. My DM did this with her younger lurcher - she also goes in it when we're having meals etc. She loves her cage bed. She keeps her toys in it.

Original poster
LadyCleathStuart · 26/11/2021 22:23

He was crated for the first year, we got rid of it as he started doing a high pitched wail whenever he was in it and started refusing to go in. I might get it back out and try again...

OP posts:
Winniemarysarah · 26/11/2021 22:27

All this behaviour points to a lack of exercise. He’s stir crazy and there’s something about your oh being out of the house that leaves him so bored he’s becoming hyperactive and destructive. You say he’s a lurcher, what mix of breeds is he?

Lou573 · 26/11/2021 22:29

Can you go right back to basics - we were always told to have a puppy on a house line so they can be removed from a situation without you joining in the fun. If you have to chase him to get back the pencil it’s exactly what he wants, if you just pull him away on a line it’s boring.

Winniemarysarah · 26/11/2021 22:29

@Puffykins

What about a dog-cage? So that he understands that there are times when he needs to be calm? You could also put his bed in it so that he sleeps in it at night. My DM did this with her younger lurcher - she also goes in it when we're having meals etc. She loves her cage bed. She keeps her toys in it.
It sounds like he has lots of calm time. She doesn’t mention him having issues through the night. He had no issues when he was left alone while they went for a very leisurely breakfast. He was fine when they were collecting the kids. Putting him in a cage when he can’t cope with his pent up energy anymore is going to cause more issues than it solves
Winniemarysarah · 26/11/2021 22:32

@LadyCleathStuart

He was crated for the first year, we got rid of it as he started doing a high pitched wail whenever he was in it and started refusing to go in. I might get it back out and try again...
And this is the perfect example of why I absolutely detest crates. He was stuck in a cage for the first year until he was literally screaming to get out. Putting them in a cage just avoids having to train them. Now they can’t use the crate they’ve been left with an out of control dog
Lougle · 26/11/2021 22:43

Could you have him upstairs with you when you take the DC up? He can hear you but can't see you. Or use stair gates to isolate the hallway and put him there with his toy/treat?

Original poster
LadyCleathStuart · 26/11/2021 22:49

Ok so he wasn't stuck in a crate all day he was locked in for very brief periods (never more than an hour), the rest of the time it was left open and it wasn't closed over at nights. It was a safe space for him but in the end he decided he didn't want to go in anymore and we listened to that and removed it.

We can control him very well, he is a great dog who walks peŕfectly on lead, has amazing recall for a 17 month old and is a loving family pet.

We have one issue which takes place under a single circumstance - when my husband isn't home he demands attention from me by misbehaving. This is despite getting near constant attention all day when we are wfh he will be lying on our feet sleeping, chewing his toy at our feet, getting cuddles while we are on calls. Our lunchtimes and breaks are spent walking and playing with him. What more can we give?

OP posts:
Original poster
LadyCleathStuart · 26/11/2021 22:50

I've tried taking him up he just does the same upstairs. The gate idea is a good one will look into that, he have a large hallway he could wait in.

OP posts:
Strokethefurrywall · 26/11/2021 22:52

Could you afford to give up work so that you can give more time to the dog?

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Original poster
LadyCleathStuart · 26/11/2021 22:55

We did the house line thing as a pup but tbh he is so big and strong if he wants something I can't take him away from it. It's why we put so much work into his lead walking outside and he is wonderful on lead when on walks.

To answer the breed question one parent was a greyhound mix, the other a logotto romangolo (hope Im spelling that right!).

OP posts:
GayParis · 26/11/2021 22:57

He just sounds like a dog tbh. My dog does stupid shit like this too and I just ignore him.

My oldest dog did this shit too and he grew out of it by 3/4.

Part and parcel of owning the little hellhound demon twats.

OhDear2200 · 26/11/2021 22:59

Can you preempt this behaviour? So plan some times when your husband is going out that you can keep him really close but focus on being calm? So have his favourite bed right close next to you? You do what you can to keep him close, so when you leave the room you take him with you, but focus on keeping it calm? Keep at it so that he learns you’re not going anywhere. If your giving him the attention but on your terms (ie he’s not destroying stuff) he’ll learn that he doesn’t need to do stuff to get your attention it’s just there?

Don’t know if that makes sense?

Or can you do the training that teaches them to be calm. So really focus on that training and then when husband out use this?

Don’t know if any of that makes sense?

I know others have said he needs exercise but I just wonder if he needs reassurance?

Original poster
LadyCleathStuart · 26/11/2021 23:01

Apologies I've just seen the earlier suggestion of overstimulation. I think this could be it really because he doesn't sleep much in the day just the odd power nap here and there.

It might just be an age thing. My old girl was adopted so she came to us already past the puppu stage.

OP posts:
Anordinarymum · 26/11/2021 23:02

@LadyCleathStuart

He was crated for the first year, we got rid of it as he started doing a high pitched wail whenever he was in it and started refusing to go in. I might get it back out and try again...
Definitely and stick with it. He is dictating what he wants and getting attention any way he can. You have to show him 'time out'.
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