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The doghouse

If you're worried about your pet's health, please speak to a vet or qualified professional.

Original poster

Can people talk to me about rehoming and how it worked out?

37 replies

JumppyFrog · 16/11/2021 15:28

I'm having to rehome my dog at the end of the week and I'm really struggling with it even though I know it's for the best.

We've had her 8 years from being a pup. We approached bringing our baby in to the house carefully, switched her from raw food so she could lick him (we weren't letting her bath him or anything but didn't want her to think being near him was a bad thing), introduced his things in to the house while I was pregnant. We really tried to make the baby a positive thing for her. She's spent time around my neices and been fine. But she just finds our baby so stressful, especially now he is mobile.

There really isn't anything we can do to make this a safe situation. She grumbles when he even gets near the other side of the baby gate (they're always kept separate now but weren't in the beginning). She's clearly very stressed and I know that this is for the best.

She's going to an experienced owner who has all the time and love in the world for her, she's been vetted by the rescue this is going through. But I just keep crying. She's my little girl and I can't cope with the fact I have to do this too her.

If you've been in a similar situation can you let me know how things went? How long til you came to terms with it?

Please don't give me a kicking. I know it's a really fucking shitty thing to do but it's just a shit quality of life for her to stay with us.im absolutely heartbroken.

OP posts:
Bebeschitt · 16/11/2021 15:58

I haven't had to rehome but I wanted to tell you that you are 100% doing the right thing.
We adopted from someone (via a charity) in a similar position to you. We had the gift of a beautiful new family member after losing our old boy last year. She is loved more than I can tell you. It was heartbreaking knowing her story but she is adored here and I'm sure your girl will be too.
You are giving someone a lovely companion and your dog a home you know ultimately she will be happier in.
Well done. Go easy on yourself.

QuiteQuaint · 16/11/2021 16:11

Dogs settle with the new owner in most cases. But in all honesty, your child won’t be a baby forever and things would get easier. I’ve been there, but I didn’t rehome. The children got older and they became best friends.
It’s heartbreaking that so many animals are rehomed when kids come along.

Original poster
JumppyFrog · 16/11/2021 19:43

Thank you @Bebeschitt that means a lot. I've managed to get my sensible head back on a bit tonight but it's been a rough afternoon.

@QuiteQuaint I understand but unfortunately she is a big dog (not that little dogs are any less dangerous I suppose) and she is giving us clear warning signs that she is really unhappy. I really don't think we have any option or I would take another route. We could keep her separate from him but I worry that one day I'll mess up, inevitably, and they'll come together and something bad will happen. I don't think I could rely on him to be sensible around her until he is about 4 just going off what my nieces are like. I've considered making her a little den in the garage for her to stop in during the day when he's awake but realistically it would be purely for my benefit and wouldn't be giving her the life she deserves.

OP posts:
Original poster
JumppyFrog · 16/11/2021 19:45

I should also say that the baby is over one now, we've known we have had a problem brewing from about 6 month and have really tried to turn it around. We've tried giving it time but anymore will just become dangerous.

OP posts:
Trixiefirecracker · 16/11/2021 19:48

Absolutely you are doing the right thing, as hard as it is, but you have listened to your dog and realised this isn’t working for you. She will have a good home. Dogs don’t dwell, they live in the moment. You are (rightfully) upset but the dog will be fine, fed and loved.

SexyNeckbeard · 16/11/2021 19:51

You are doing a brave thing for your dog OP, well done for making such a hard decision. No judgment here

Dragonfire282 · 16/11/2021 19:56

I just wanted to say this is absolutely not a shitty thing to do. It's the right thing to do. You're protecting her just as much as you're protecting your baby because if she ever did bite then she'd have to be put down. The easy thing to do would be to carry on and bury your head in the sand so well done for having the strength to deal with the situation.

Our rescue boy came to us when he was 7. He'd lived a whole other life before he arrived but you'd never have known it. He settled in so well. Your girl will be fine and she'll be relaxed and happy again.

Now try not to dwell on this too much, don't let it cast a shadow over your baby, it's precious time that you won't get back. Have a cry and then pick yourself up and look to the future knowing you've done your best for everyone.

florentina1 · 16/11/2021 20:04

From the other side of this, I got my dog after a tragedy in her owners family. I love her so much and she means everything to me. You are absolutely doing the right thing. Of course you will miss her but for everyone’s safety it has to be done,. I hope this has been a little help to you.

QuiteQuaint · 16/11/2021 20:05

Your girl will be fine and she'll be relaxed and happy again.

I hope she does, poor thing. But it’s not always the case. We rehome lots of dogs and some do have to come back to us as they just don’t settle at their new home and then have to be in kennels until another new owner is found. The dog gets even more anxious and the chance of a successful rehoming is reduced even more. To pretend it will all be definitely fine isn’t true. Rehoming is a stressful experience for a dog.

Anyway, I’ll hide the thread and won’t read or comment again as OP has decided to rehome regardless. It’s just sad that the dog has been given up on. You really are their whole world. Please don’t have pets again.

Colin56 · 16/11/2021 20:09

You are doing the hard thing but the right thing. Dogs take a piece of our heart and even when its awful we still care for them. So many people would not be as caring as you. She will settle and have a great life.

Trixiefirecracker · 16/11/2021 20:10

@QuiteQuaint that’s really not helpful. You have no idea how it will pan out for this dog and the Op has made the right decision for her family. Her dog is showing signs it’s unhappy and it’s best to rehome in these circumstances before, god-forbid there’s a tragedy and the dog shows aggression, then it would be impossible to rehome.

Dontfuckingsaycheese · 16/11/2021 20:11

It’s hard I know. I always looked down on people who got animals then got rid at the drop of a hat. I had two cats for years. Then I had my son. It just didn’t work. They weren’t happy. I wasn’t happy. They ended up going to a friend and they lived out a happy life with her. It took me a long time to trust myself again. But we got ddog when ds was about 13. I wouldn’t have tried earlier than that. People’s circs change. You’ve given it a good try. It would be the right and kind thing to do x

SelkieQualia · 16/11/2021 20:20

OP, you are clearly making a kind and well thought out decision. By the time your son is old enough to not scare her, she will be old dog. It's not fair to make her live her final years in a situation where she's clearly not happy.

1990s · 16/11/2021 20:21

@QuiteQuaint

Your girl will be fine and she'll be relaxed and happy again.

I hope she does, poor thing. But it’s not always the case. We rehome lots of dogs and some do have to come back to us as they just don’t settle at their new home and then have to be in kennels until another new owner is found. The dog gets even more anxious and the chance of a successful rehoming is reduced even more. To pretend it will all be definitely fine isn’t true. Rehoming is a stressful experience for a dog.

Anyway, I’ll hide the thread and won’t read or comment again as OP has decided to rehome regardless. It’s just sad that the dog has been given up on. You really are their whole world. Please don’t have pets again.

Why do you suggest? They get rid of the baby? Or keep the dog in a situation where it is unhappy and may injure a child and be put down? Would that be a better life for the dog? Or go back in time to 8 years ago and predict they would have a child?

I really genuinely am interested in what you suggest, as I think the OP has done her best in a very tough situation. I can’t see a better solution.

Flowers OP, you’re brave.

Quickchangeartiste · 16/11/2021 20:26

We got our second dog from a family who just couldn’t keep her. We adore her, and it seems mutual. She and dog 1 bonded really quickly - he is a dream boy to be fair - and she settled really quickly in our quieter, adult/dog home.
She is much loved and well cared for. I hope for the same for your girl. It’s hard but you are doing the best thing for both your dog and your child.

Dragonfire282 · 16/11/2021 20:31

QuiteQuaint shame on you! This is clearly an owner who loves their dog and is doing the best she can in a very difficult circumstance. Your post is incredibly unhelpful.

SexyNeckbeard · 16/11/2021 20:31

@QuiteQuaint

Your girl will be fine and she'll be relaxed and happy again.

I hope she does, poor thing. But it’s not always the case. We rehome lots of dogs and some do have to come back to us as they just don’t settle at their new home and then have to be in kennels until another new owner is found. The dog gets even more anxious and the chance of a successful rehoming is reduced even more. To pretend it will all be definitely fine isn’t true. Rehoming is a stressful experience for a dog.

Anyway, I’ll hide the thread and won’t read or comment again as OP has decided to rehome regardless. It’s just sad that the dog has been given up on. You really are their whole world. Please don’t have pets again.

What a shame you couldn't hide the thread before you left your nasty and unnecessary comment.
Dogdogdogdoneit · 16/11/2021 20:35

No advice but just wanted to say sorry you’re going though this and well done for being strong enough to put your child first Flowers You are doing the right thing
I know a couple of people who should take a leaf out your book op

SweetBabyCheeses99 · 16/11/2021 20:39

You’re absolutely doing the right thing. Your dog is not your baby; your baby is your baby. Can’t believe all these people saying the worst case scenario is that the dog has to be pts - no the worse case scenario is that their baby is injured or worse.

MissLToeWine · 16/11/2021 20:39

@Dragonfire282

QuiteQuaint shame on you! This is clearly an owner who loves their dog and is doing the best she can in a very difficult circumstance. Your post is incredibly unhelpful.
I don’t think your reply is helpful either. This is an open forum for people to comment on. I agree with @QuiteQuaint. The OP doesn’t say if she’s tried to find a reputable trainer to deal with her dogs issues before even looking at rehoming it. As Quite Quaint quite right says the owner is a dogs whole world. I foster rescues and it’s often the case that new homes don’t work out for one reason or another, it’s very short sighted to think that they all work out perfectly!
KurtWilde · 16/11/2021 20:45

Anyone saying OP isn't doing the right thing needs to have a word with themselves. She says it's a large dog and is clearly unhappy with their young baby. It's a no brainier.

I have large dogs and I love them to bits, I'd be devastated to be without them. But f I ever thought they were unhappy around my DC and showed that displeasure, I wouldn't think twice about finding them lovely new homes. My responsibility to my DC trumps everything else.

After the recent story in the news of that poor little boy losing his life to the Beast, keeping a dog you're unsure of should never be encouraged.

Dragonfire282 · 16/11/2021 20:50

MissLToeWine let's ask the OP which comment she found helpful then shall we baring in mind she said she's heartbroken and is asking that people don't give her a kicking. She's looking for some comfort and reassurance. My experience of rehoming is that it worked out fantastically well for everyone involved. I dont know how you can say my reply wasn't helpful?

Mantlemoose · 16/11/2021 20:53

@KurtWilde

Anyone saying OP isn't doing the right thing needs to have a word with themselves. She says it's a large dog and is clearly unhappy with their young baby. It's a no brainier.

I have large dogs and I love them to bits, I'd be devastated to be without them. But f I ever thought they were unhappy around my DC and showed that displeasure, I wouldn't think twice about finding them lovely new homes. My responsibility to my DC trumps everything else.

After the recent story in the news of that poor little boy losing his life to the Beast, keeping a dog you're unsure of should never be encouraged.

So you mean @QuiteQuaint and @MissLToeWine (and in a minute, me).

The whole point is if you are going to have kids don't get a dog and hope it works out. I don't think any of us are saying she shouldn't rehome (I'm certainly not) but a little forward thinking of 'can I keep this pet forever' should be a consideration. It's awful to commit to an animal for you to become its whole world for 75% of its lifespan and then it gets thrown out basically. It's called planning and being an adult and a caring human being.

Silverdorkinghen · 16/11/2021 20:55

My parents regimes one of their dogs when the other died and he couldn’t cope with being on his own. He went to a work colleague of my Dad’s who had a couple of the same breed and lived the best life.
A friend’s family dog was rehired when her parents split up. Very sad but again the dog went to a lovely home and had a great life.
In both instances, they got Christmas cards with photos and an update. Would that be something you would like, could ask for?
We’ve just taken in a cat who’s owners died. With love and ltc, she’s living a lovely life here with us.

Northernsoullover · 16/11/2021 20:57

@QuiteQuaint

Your girl will be fine and she'll be relaxed and happy again.

I hope she does, poor thing. But it’s not always the case. We rehome lots of dogs and some do have to come back to us as they just don’t settle at their new home and then have to be in kennels until another new owner is found. The dog gets even more anxious and the chance of a successful rehoming is reduced even more. To pretend it will all be definitely fine isn’t true. Rehoming is a stressful experience for a dog.

Anyway, I’ll hide the thread and won’t read or comment again as OP has decided to rehome regardless. It’s just sad that the dog has been given up on. You really are their whole world. Please don’t have pets again.

I really don't think the OP could have done any more really? Are you always this judgemental? The dog is unhappy and the OP is stressed. There isn't any other option. All it would take is one momentary lapse in juggling the separation and there might be a tragedy.
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