Can people talk to me about rehoming and how it worked out?

[JumppyFrog]

I'm having to rehome my dog at the end of the week and I'm really struggling with it even though I know it's for the best.

We've had her 8 years from being a pup. We approached bringing our baby in to the house carefully, switched her from raw food so she could lick him (we weren't letting her bath him or anything but didn't want her to think being near him was a bad thing), introduced his things in to the house while I was pregnant. We really tried to make the baby a positive thing for her. She's spent time around my neices and been fine. But she just finds our baby so stressful, especially now he is mobile.

There really isn't anything we can do to make this a safe situation. She grumbles when he even gets near the other side of the baby gate (they're always kept separate now but weren't in the beginning). She's clearly very stressed and I know that this is for the best.

She's going to an experienced owner who has all the time and love in the world for her, she's been vetted by the rescue this is going through. But I just keep crying. She's my little girl and I can't cope with the fact I have to do this too her.

If you've been in a similar situation can you let me know how things went? How long til you came to terms with it?

Please don't give me a kicking. I know it's a really fucking shitty thing to do but it's just a shit quality of life for her to stay with us.im absolutely heartbroken.

We had the exact same situation with our bulldog.
He just didn't adapt to life with a baby around and really struggled with it to the point he was self mutilating and would show signs on anxiety whenever he was around her. Yet was very very gentle if she came near.
He pretty much lived in the kitchen the last few weeks he was in our home, as for his own benefit being away from her seemed to be better for him.
In the end we rehomed him with a well known bulldog charity and he's absolutely thriving with his new family and other bulldogs!
It was the hardest decision we made but the best decision for him.
The house felt so empty for months however it definitely does get easier everyday, as you know you're making the best decision for your dog.
The longer we kept him and flitted between making the final decision the situation just got worse and was prolonged.
Ideally you need to make a decision ASAP and stick too it.
Good luck & sending you lots of virtual hugs!

It's awful to commit to an animal for you to become its whole world for 75% of its lifespan and then it gets thrown out basically. It's called planning and being an adult and a caring human being Mantlemoose

This forum never fails to disappoint me. That's an absolutely disgusting comment. The OP is not throwing out her dog, neither is she an uncaring human!! Ffs! What is wrong with people on this board. Spouting their holier than though bullshit. Its so clear from the OP that she lives her dog and is devastated by this. Why can't people just be kind and supportive to a stranger in need. Talk about kicking someone when they're down. no one not even you mantelmouse can predict what life will throw at you for the next 15+ years. You could become too ill to take of your dog, you could lose the ability to walk them, you may lose your income and not be able to afford a dog walker or vets fees,
you could develop allergies. You don't know!! Planned pregnancy or not no one can predict how a dog will react to a baby. The OP had socialised the dog with other children. No one is to blame here.

Rehoming your dog to a caring person is not a shitty thing to do. It's a brave and kind thing to do. The shitty thing would be hanging onto your dog when things aren't working out, because you don't want to lose face by rehoming her.
Dogs always move on if they have a loving primary carer. Think of all the people who talk about how great their rescue dogs are. They and their dogs have all bonded. Many of those dogs will have had other, loving owners before who had to give them up, as well as the unfortunate dogs whose first owners were not loving.

You're not doing this lightly. Don't beat yourself up about it. Your dog will be not pine away!

@Dragonfire282

MissLToeWine let's ask the OP which comment she found helpful then shall we baring in mind she said she's heartbroken and is asking that people don't give her a kicking. She's looking for some comfort and reassurance. My experience of rehoming is that it worked out fantastically well for everyone involved. I dont know how you can say my reply wasn't helpful?

She clearly knew not everyone would agree with her when she posted. These posts ways have people with differing opinions. If the OP can’t deal with opinions of people on the internet it’s probably best not to make a post that they know may attract unwelcome opinions.

Simply because you’ve had positive experiences of rehoming does not suggest all dogs do. I can assure you I’ve seen some sorry states of dogs that have been rehomed, as I said, a lot of dogs don’t cope with rehoming and it’s ignorant to assume that.

I agree your responsibility to your baby outweighs your responsibility to your dog. The dog is giving you clear signs he's unhappy and a big dog could do a baby a lot of damage. Toddlers are even scarier to a nervous dog. You've obviously really tried, and this is the right decision. Forgive yourself.

MissLToeWine I dont need you to assure me thanks very much and I'm by no means ignorant. You said my post wasn't helpful to the OP. I'll say it again as you've ignored me the first time, the OP is clearly looking for some support/reassurance/comfort/positive experience. She's reaching out for that and that's hopefully what I gave her. How is that not helpful?

@QuiteQuaint

Dogs settle with the new owner in most cases. But in all honesty, your child won’t be a baby forever and things would get easier. I’ve been there, but I didn’t rehome. The children got older and they became best friends. It’s heartbreaking that so many animals are rehomed when kids come along.

Just because your situation turned out OK doesn’t mean it was a wise decision. In my experience it gets harder before it gets easier. The baby will get more curious (what does doggie’s eye feel like?) and more adventurous (can I climb over the baby gate?) way before she can understand consequences. If OP has more children it could be half a decade or more that she needs to be hyper vigilant every second of the day. Even with baby gates and closed doors and the best will in the world that’s just not possible.

Our dog was lovely and patient with the children until he himself was elderly. His joints were stiff and there were places he didn’t like to be touched. Eventually he couldn’t see or hear properly so it startled him whenever anyone touched him. He was too old to rehome so the choice was whether to put him down. I was ready but DH disagreed and honestly am haunted by the fact that we waited as long as we did. Luckily nothinh bad happened but it was a stupid risk. If my child had been hurt I don’t think I could live with myself.

You are doing the right thing OP. It’s so sad when you love your dog so much but the safety of a human child cannot be compromised.

The whole point is if you are going to have kids don't get a dog and hope it works out. I don't think any of us are saying she shouldn't rehome (I'm certainly not) but a little forward thinking of 'can I keep this pet forever' should be a consideration. It's awful to commit to an animal for you to become its whole world for 75% of its lifespan and then it gets thrown out basically. It's called planning and being an adult and a caring human being

Nothing uncaring about rehoming an unhappy dog. Quite the opposite, in my experience. I foster dogs as well as own my own. It's not something most people do lightly. A dog that has been fine around children who visit could be assumed to be fine if the family had a child of its own down the line, but that isn't always the case and the reaction can't be preempted. It's absolutely the right thing to rehome in that scenario.

It always makes me shake my head, responses like some of there ones on here.

I rehomed a very neglected cat (appreciate not a dog) but he has had the most wonderful life and is well taken care of. He was very nervous before he came to us but is a confident old boy now.

Charities go to great lengths to find suitable homes. The rescue centre was delighted he joined us as had open fields to hunt in (not so great for us!)

So I’m sure they will find a very suitable home for him.

You are doing the right thing.

I came across this post today, timely

www.instagram.com/p/CWU9nL3o7jx/?utm_medium=copy_link

@Mantlemoose You can't predict all scenarios. Having kids in the future normally does not preclude you from having a dog. Usually, the dog adapts to the kids and everyone is happy. In this case, the OP is making the best decision with the hand she's been dealt.

well done for taking the best decision for the dog @JumppyFrog. When my DC were primary age we took on an 8yr old (large) dog via his breeder (we already had one of her dogs) because of a change in family circumstances. He very happily lived out his life with us. He was such a good boy that I have gladly taken on a number of older dogs since - they've all had lovely lives with us and been much loved and happy.

I saw the devastation in the eyes of the owners who gave up their precious, much loved dogs. I know how hard it was for them to do it, but it was the right thing for those dogs. Going to one loving home from another will give her the best chance to swiftly adapt. You are doing the right thing.