Feel like new puppy has triggered by PND :(

[clockingoffcloud]

Single parent, 1 DD aged 5. Have a lovely new puppy, he really is good and easy apart from the night waking but can't complain as he only wants the toilet. But as soon as we got home with him and I let him out in the garden I felt a sense of doom and closing in. It felt dreadful the first few days as he was up every 2 hours in the night, but realised it wasn't tiredness, this felt exactly the same as my PND which I had very, very badly. I am sinking.. I've never managed to come off meds since PND as although all was good in life if I tried to come off things nosedived and I was quickly suicidal.

I am scared how I currently feel. Exasperated by DD not being bothered about the dog and yes my fault but she adores everyone elses dog and was so desperate for one that I felt at this age she was old enough.

I am able to take the puppy back to the breeder and I really want to. The bit that is the worse is the shame in telling people, DD will probably be upset for a week then forget, and no doubt a slating I will get on here.

Can't talk to anyone about this IRL. No family support as all overseas. I don't want to up my meds.

I also found it comforting to think- people rarely talk about hating their adult dogs, or finding them stressful. I mean- it does happen, but it's not a common thing to happen. In the main, people with adult dogs hardly ever talk about them (other than to say how much they love them!), they just have them and get on with it.

That suggests to me that having an adult dog isn't something that takes over your life or constantly occupies your thoughts in the way that a puppy does.

On the other hand, puppies are notorious for being a pain in the arse!

So to conclude, your experience is normal, and you are most definitely not alone.

In the same way as human babies, puppies get immensely easier as time goes on, and most importantly, the benefits of having them start to outweigh the negatives as some point. And it happens in weeks, rather than years!

I started leaving my puppy very early on- before even injections were complete I'm sure.
I'd only leave her for 15/20 minutes initially. We started a routine whereby I would close the stair gate (shutting her in the kitchen), pass her a Kong/chew/licki mat, and turn the radio on. Then I just leave.
She knows now when I pass her one of the above that I am going out, and just grabs her prize and trots off to her bed. I have filmed her while I'm out and she never gets distressed. Just sleeps.

(I've left her up to 2 hours since, but only very occasionally, as both DH and I work from home).

@opalescent

I started leaving my puppy very early on- before even injections were complete I'm sure. I'd only leave her for 15/20 minutes initially. We started a routine whereby I would close the stair gate (shutting her in the kitchen), pass her a Kong/chew/licki mat, and turn the radio on. Then I just leave. She knows now when I pass her one of the above that I am going out, and just grabs her prize and trots off to her bed. I have filmed her while I'm out and she never gets distressed. Just sleeps.

Thanks. Good plan with licki mat thing, will start that. He can be ok when I put DD to bed some nights, just quiet downstairs, other nights he howls!

@clockingoffcloud mine still whines if I'm in a different part of them house- apparently cocker spaniels get terrible FOMO 😂. She is actually much better when I'm actually out of the house!

@happymum94 how are things your end with pup?

I think I know exactly what you mean. My PND was triggered by sleep deprivation - my boys are 23 and 21 so long past those days! But I have a 19 week old puppy which we got at 8 weeks and I recognised the symptoms of panic and low level anxiety just grumbling away and knew it was because I was being woken a few times a night.

Pup was 2kg when we got him on 9 August so woke constantly! But has piled it on and now sleeps for 12 hours+ 2 months on and I feel SO much better. So I don't know the answer but if you decide to see it through I am sure that things will improve for you. If you decide to give him back to breeder, I loved a PP's idea of your becoming suddenly allergic to him!

I hope things improve for you, day at a time is the best approach.

@Skade glad to hear you are feeling so much better. Last few nights he has been quiet and it definitely makes a difference. Feeling mentally fine today, but its still up and down. Worried long term as I know window to return him is short

OP I could have written your post, we've had our pup for 7 weeks now and I tell you I spent the first 4 in total and utter regret and misery. I felt that suffocating feeling I had with PND, the anxiety and overthinking everything, the worry she wasn't growing, not getting enough this, that and the other, I was miserable.

The past 3 weeks have been so so much better, and everyday it's easier, the dog is now settled and doesn't expect me to pay attention to her 24/7 and I have come to terms with the fact that she's a dog, not a person, and she doesn't have human feelings. Because I think that's where I was struggling, I was seeing her as another child and they are not, they are animals who ended boundaries.
I now pop her on the crate for a few hours if I need a break, whether that's to go out or just sit in front of the telly, but she has calmed down so much she's happy to just sit on her bed and sleep I can have her with me while I'm chilling.
Puppies are hard going and it's a huge huge adjustment for any family, we wouldn't be without her now, love her so so much.

[quote clockingoffcloud]@Skade glad to hear you are feeling so much better. Last few nights he has been quiet and it definitely makes a difference. Feeling mentally fine today, but its still up and down. Worried long term as I know window to return him is short[/quote]
Hi op just checking in 😊 I hope everything is a lot better for you xxx

Everything is a lot better here. He is now able to go out for walks so had fun on the beach today. Just seems to be clicking into place. I can go out for a couple of hours (I sneak back home and look in kitchen window to see him asleep), I can put him in the kitchen for a bit on his own without him squeaking when I'm in other parts of the house..... feeling much better mentally :D. He is currently giving my slipper a good thrashing!!