Talk to me honestly about getting a dog

[Weedsorwishes]

So we are at the stage in our life we are thinking about getting a dog. Not ready yet I don't think but I also know it's a massive step and we want to make sure it is the right decision for our family. It's definitely for life!

We are a large busy family, 2 adults 4 children. I currently am a SAHM but am looking for part time work within a couple of years no huge rush.

We would like a dog (not a puppy).but how do you know when it's the right time. Children are all primary /preschool sort of age

The things holding us back at the moment are days out and holiday, they would all have to be dog friendly

We are a pretty active outdoor family. Live on the coast so plenty of beach for exercise, large house and garden etc

I think I am the one who wants a dog the most so it's not the children desperate for one although they would love one so there no concern if they won't walk it (hopefully they will!).but I am expecting to be doing most of it which is fine by me

We are thinking of maybe a collie sort of size or similar although I know collies need alot of mental stimulation.

We would also love a rescue dog but lots of rescues say no children.

All advice appreciated thanks!

Honestly, the DCs aren't likely to help out walking or looking after the dog, not reliably or consistently. It will be down to the adults to do the lion's share, all the time, every day.
What happens if one of the adults is away and the dog needs walking early morning/late evening? Young DCs can't be left home alone.
I personally couldn't have coped with a dog and young DCs, it would've been too much work, stress over kids' toys/dog eating them, mess, expense.
It's a v personal thing but I'm glad we waited til DCs were teenagers before we got our amazing dog. They adore him, but they don't often walk him as school/college/pt work/friends are their priorities.
We walk our terrier/mixed breed rescue dog 30 mins before work, 30mins at lunch, then an hour after work, with a few garden plays, and he generally snoozes the rest of the time

I think that the easiest family dog to have is a golden retriever or a lab. All of the ones I encounter on walks completely ignore other dogs and other humans and are totally focused on their own humans
Anecdotal of course but I completely disagree and cringe when I hear of first timers getting them.

They are big and bouncy and strong and I have definitely encountered a fair few aggressive labradors (goldens not so much), I regularly see people seriously struggling to hold back young labs and goldens as they are so strong and boisterous and when I see a young one off lead I now walk very far away because in my experience once they spot us they race over and are deaf to their owners.

We have a Rescue, got him about 9 months old. He's a complete mix of breeds, collie sized. Has fit in really well with us, very calm and a lovely temperament with children. We can leave him home for up to 4 hours if needed, but that's not very often and my mum will often pop in to let him out and give him a fuss. He just has a nap- he's quite lazy! We have a really big garden and he darts around there throughout the day then has a walk once or twice every day. Usually comes on the school run in the morning, and teenage dd takes him aim the evening. If it's raining he won't go out for a walk though 😂, he's not too fussed to go it for a walk if we can't take him although that could be because he has free rein of our large garden. He's gone to the kennels before and been fine, but usually goes to my parents if we go out for the day or go on hols.

Bad things about having a dog- the hair! I have to Hoover most days. Once we woke up to dog diarrhoea all over the house that was pretty awful. Picking up dog poo (DH job!).

That's about it really, but we've been a lucky with the dog we have. He was also trained when we got him, so we didn't need to do the basics. I'm not sure how I wouldn't have handled a puppy.

I wouldn't be without him!

@Weedsorwishes

Would also appreciate seeing anyone's daily routine with a dog especially a collie / greyhound / Labrador sort of size so I can see how a day looks like fitting in walks etc

I'm thinking something like a 20 min walk around the block first thing for a wee etc maybe around 6am, then a big walk midnorning or lunchtime probably around 2 hours. Then maybe the children can take it round the block after school for maybe 30 mins. Then a wee before bedtime around 11pm. Is this on the right track at all??

That rules out giant breeds too then. They are lazy gets and I know my own dog will only walk 30mins twice a day. She lazes around rest of the time.

Thought of another negative, when we first got him he chewed anything that was left laying around- DD brand new school shoes, countless slippers, DS toys and teddy's, scratched the stair carpet up, weed up the curtains! Thankfully those days are long over!

@Powertothepetal

I think that the easiest family dog to have is a golden retriever or a lab. All of the ones I encounter on walks completely ignore other dogs and other humans and are totally focused on their own humans Anecdotal of course but I completely disagree and cringe when I hear of first timers getting them.

They are big and bouncy and strong and I have definitely encountered a fair few aggressive labradors (goldens not so much), I regularly see people seriously struggling to hold back young labs and goldens as they are so strong and boisterous and when I see a young one off lead I now walk very far away because in my experience once they spot us they race over and are deaf to their owners.

I have a 53kg Saint. A Labrador would be a walk in the park 😂

We have a rescue Jack Russell. He's very laid back in the house and will walk as little or as long as we like but usually about 3 half hour walks a day. Very good off lead but not interested in chasing balls - only squirrels! He's fine on his own at home but I have a dog walker if we're all out for the day. Family will take him for holidays (we reciprocate). We've had him 2 years and honestly don't find it that restrictive. He hasn't cost us much either but that's luck I suppose. He's so affectionate, we all adore him!

Would also appreciate seeing anyone's daily routine with a dog especially a collie / greyhound / Labrador sort of size so I can see how a day looks like fitting in walks etc

This is only relevant to when he was over 2.. before that it was just 2 years of stress..

7am get up for wee and breakfast
9am wants a bit of a play but generally snoozes around the house and entertains himself with chews and watching out the window
11am - 1 hour walk
then more chew /play/general snoozing and mooching about
5pm dinner
6pm 1 hour walk and then more play after..
8pm he's settled for the night in sofa and Takes himself to bed at 9.30.

we don't leave him longer than 4 hrs alone unless we go out later after his evening walk then he just settles for the night.
costs around £250 a month to keep him and that's wfh mainly, when we had to go in the office it was nearer £400-500 a month in total.

For me the biggest help was the kids were old enough to be left alone in the house whilst I walked the dog. Obviously we sometimes walk as a family, but dragging 2 kids outs in the wind and rain soon loses its appeal.

We have 3 older children and a dog. Whilst we all love him I would not have another dog. He needed far more time and training than we ever imagined. He is exceptionally strong on the lead so too strong for the children. He absolutely adores other people and most other dogs so is a nightmare off lead. He costs a fortune in day care, food, insurance, toys, training etc. If we were more experienced owners we could have probably dealt with the walking on the lead and being trust worthy off lead.

We joined the Facebook group 'dog training advice and support' after getting him and I wish we had joined and read the information before getting him.

Our mixed breed pup is 7m.

I’m a shift worker, DP works out of the home but is local and can pop back if required.

Eldest DC nearly 18 so keeps college hours, 15 and 11 yr olds at school. So the majority of the time he has someone with him, or if alone it tends to be 2 or 3 hrs only.

I’m glad we didn’t get a dog when DC were younger. Would have been stressful. He’s mouthy, excitable (and delightful) but I can’t imagine managing that behaviour with a small child. And my eldest 2 can be trusted to take him out for walks, which helps. And can be on their own at home with him.

Tbh I knew it would be hard work but it still took me by surprise 😂 In fact I’d say a puppy is harder than a baby!

Early starts (no more lie ins), cat chasing 😬, mouthing… and I underestimated the effort required to achieve good on lead walking.

Always seems to be a behaviour to get on top of! But we love the bones of him and he is a scruffy bundle of gorgeousness!

We have a golden retriever, she's two.

She has two walks a day. On a busy day they can both be 30 minutes. On an average day they're 40. On a big day one of them is an hour. My DP and I take it in turns so we each do one otherwise she wees in the garden about three times a day. She's very easy. And very lovely

My Lab was 1 in July and our day usually looks like this:

7.45 - wake up, scatter feed in then she'll potter in the garden or chase a ball, back in crate while I take kids to school at 8.30.

10 - awake. We go for a walk now usually, at least 1 hour.

12 - back in crate for a snooze.

1.30 - awake. Either another short walk, playing or training games.

3pm - back in crate for 15 mins while I collect kids, then we'll all play with her.

5pm - scatter feed her dinner.

6 - in crate for snooze while I sort kids.

9 - take her out for bedtime toilet, sleeps through.

So as you can see she does a lot of sleeping! She is generally very happy, in perfect health and weight so I'm assuming for now this routine is ok. I'd like to have her out of the crate more but she's not quite ready yet, hoping to wean her off it and encourage her to rest with us more as she approaches 18 months. If I don't put her in it regularly she'll just stay awake getting overtired and start zoomies everywhere!

If you are planning to go back to work within the next couple of years, I would definitely do that and then decide whether getting a dog is practical. If you get the dog first, you could find that it seriously limits your options when you are job hunting.

For me, working, four primary school children and a dog would be too much - YMMV. Awful to pick kids up from after school club, and then immediately have to drag everybody out in the dark and the rain to walk the dog - that's not going to work.

Dogs are easier when children are older and can be safely left alone in the house while you get some peace and quiet walking the dog.

Just remembered another thing many dog owners in my area either don’t know or just ignore - if you live near the sea there may be times of the year your dog isn’t allowed on the beach. It’s annoying as it tends to be all the times when the weather is mild enough to actually be on the beach and not be blown away.

We got our pointer x spaniel dog nearly 13 years ago and, sadly, he recently became very ill and we had to make the awful decision to have him put to sleep.

He was really such a lovely dog and a wonderful companion. I miss him enormously. Having a dog also ensures that, as a responsible owner, you have regular exercise when you take your dog for walks - and you get to chat with other dog owners too.

There are quite a few things to consider:

If you are considering going part time, would you have to leave your dog for several hours on its own? We are retired so that wasn't an issue. In any event, our dog was quite happy to be left on his own for a few hours - he just went to sleep - but some dogs are unhappy being left alone and may bark or be destructive.

It is quite expensive to have a dog - you will need a good bed, dishes, food (for a medium to large size dog that can be quite an expense), annual vaccines, flea and worm treatment, insurance (there comes a point, with an older dog, when insurance becomes ridiculously expensive), and possibly kennel, dog walking or dog-sitting fees.

There are several hotels and B&Bs to which you can take a dog. They usually specify that you should not leave the dog in the hotel/accommodation when you go out. We nearly always took our dog and it didn't present any problems - but it does limit your choices to some extent.

With some dog breeds, you will have to vacuum more often and even with dogs that don't shed their coats more cleaning is required.

If you want to have your dog neutered, I believe that now costs around £200.

Another poster made the very good point that as you have children, this would limit the places that you can go to with a dog - beaches in mid to high season (or - if you are lucky - only certain areas reserved for dogs), theme parks, etc., and many pubs and most restaurants (unless you sit outside).

You would need to research which dogs would be most suitable for your family. Some breeds are more nervous and sensitive than others and certain breeds are more suitable for families. I believe collies can be quite lively and their needs are better met in a more rural setting.

As others have said, having a dog does limit your spontaneity to some extent. But for both of us it was well worth that inconvenience. I miss our dog so much (though that is something else to bear in mind - medium to large size dogs live on average 12-14 years and it is very sad to see them grow old and get ill.)

If you have children I would recommend a Border terrier . they need walking but once done they can snooze. But if as a puppy - once you get past the puppy chewing stage which with some training is relatively easy they are happy & friendly dogs. Not as big as a lab etc but they are often called little dogs who do not know they are little ( to medium) dogs.

As others have said - going on holiday etc may be more of a consideration - so either someone who can look after said dog or you go somewhere where you can take the dog(s) which can be joyful.

Thanks all so much to think about

We aren't ready for a new addition to our family yet we are thinking at least 2-3 years away eg when our youngest is in school.

I feel almost broody for a dog though, literally sitting here with a cup of tea watching the rain outside thinking I'd love to wrap up warm and get out there for an hour for a bracing walk on the beach with the dog before the rest of the house wakes up. I know I can go without a dog but it's not the same!

Maybe I sound strange but can you be broody for a dog 😂

Also my husband thinks we should get a different pet first so the children are used to looking after something eg a hamster but I think its completely different. I want a companion IE a dog not a hamster 🤔

I've been dog broody for years too. Probably decades! Kids are now 9 and 12 and we got a puppy this summer. Eldest is animal mad and responsible for own pet and is great at feeding, playing, clearing up the occasional wee puddle and he takes the puppy round to the park (we are lucky we live semi rurally and 25metres from an open/wooded park) for a sniffy mooch on his long line. Youngest is incredible, she's got "it" with the puppy and has taught him tricks and is just brilliant with him. We gate off the stairs to save their toys, which are restricted to upstairs now.

How long it will last I don't know but they both love him to bits and are helpful. He's very definitely my puppy and I adore the stinky little monster but I am very glad I didn't do this when the kids were smaller. It's hard work, especially with a puppy.

Oh and both my DC have own pets. Other than help with big clean outs they're totally responsible for feeding, watering, day to day cleaning. It's been very, very good for them both and as prep for the dog

Not sure how much looking after of a dog the DCs will do, I'd bank on none then you won't be disappointed.

@rookiemere

Not sure how much looking after of a dog the DCs will do, I'd bank on none then you won't be disappointed.

We will go on family walks together and I'm hoping they will play with it in the house but generally I know it will be down to me which is fine

Got my first dog as an adult last year and learnt a few things:
Expense- not just food but insurance/ vets bills etc. Insurance a must, but even then if something happens your insurance allowance can be used up very quickly and you can be left with hefty bill. £ 1000s !
Breed- you don’t need a collie for an active dog and they can be a bit weird and snappy. Sure there are many many soppy ones but from personal experience, they need a lot of exercise, mental stimulation and can become very protective and anxious if not in the right environment. We have a small mixed breed who is very active and loves fields, birds, puddles and Kong walks.
Walks- 1 long walk of between 1 and 2 hours and a shorter hour one after tea. Sometimes to a field where she meets her ‘friends’ and they charge around for half an hour.They need to play with their own kind too, and have their BFF’s!
Going out- Trips out need to be dog friendly as we wouldn’t leave her behind. She might be left at home for a few hours only. If longer a neighbour has her or let’s her out/plays with her. Have to plan carefully as even if she’s out with us she can’t be left in the car. I’d worry about dog thefts.
Grooming- shedding can be a nightmare but non shedders need regular grooming and cliping. Can be £35-50 every 8-10 weeks or more depending on breed.
God it sounds so dull and boring but I love our dog to bits and wouldn’t be without her. My DJ didn’t want a dog but he walks her the most!

2 collies here. It's a lot of work and I echo everyone that's said you need to include the dogs in your planning as your lifestyle every single time, so few spontaneous trips without checking they're dog friendly. They're definitely an extra family member as opposed to other small pets.
I'd also say wait until your kids are a lot older, especially if you're hoping they'll get involved with walks, to walk a dog by themself they'd probably need to be 14+ depending on temperament as they'll have to deal with other dogs and owners too.
There's also the cost factor, pet insurance is not cheap but I'd consider it essential. In terms of logistics you'd need to consider a car large enough to cope with your big family plus a dog.
With collies it's not just exercise they need but mental stimulation, 3 walks a day is a good starting point but I'd also consider training or agility classes, something that'll keep their extremely intelligent brains occupied otherwise you may struggle with negative behaviour. They learn fast but need to be given lots to learn.
That being said they do make the loveliest pets. I've always been dog broody, and having them both and taking them for early morning walks is the most joyous part of my day.

@marleyandme

2 collies here. It's a lot of work and I echo everyone that's said you need to include the dogs in your planning as your lifestyle every single time, so few spontaneous trips without checking they're dog friendly. They're definitely an extra family member as opposed to other small pets. I'd also say wait until your kids are a lot older, especially if you're hoping they'll get involved with walks, to walk a dog by themself they'd probably need to be 14+ depending on temperament as they'll have to deal with other dogs and owners too. There's also the cost factor, pet insurance is not cheap but I'd consider it essential. In terms of logistics you'd need to consider a car large enough to cope with your big family plus a dog. With collies it's not just exercise they need but mental stimulation, 3 walks a day is a good starting point but I'd also consider training or agility classes, something that'll keep their extremely intelligent brains occupied otherwise you may struggle with negative behaviour. They learn fast but need to be given lots to learn. That being said they do make the loveliest pets. I've always been dog broody, and having them both and taking them for early morning walks is the most joyous part of my day.

Thank you for your reply.

We definitely see it as another family member hence why we are giving it so much thought. We really want to be responsible dog owners.

We don't really do spontaneous days out and we only tend to go for half days anyway. Zoos theme parks etc aren't for us we spend most of our weekends and school holidays in nature reserves woods and beaxhes all of which have lots of dogs around.

1-2 holidays a year is our main consideration and we would have to use kennels or find a dog friendly cottage we always holiday in the UK.

We have a 7 seater car so the dog can go on the 7th seat for family days out. We also have a roof rack (not for the dog obviously 😂)

Lots to think about. We need to be 100percent sure!