Talk to me honestly about getting a dog

[Weedsorwishes]

So we are at the stage in our life we are thinking about getting a dog. Not ready yet I don't think but I also know it's a massive step and we want to make sure it is the right decision for our family. It's definitely for life!

We are a large busy family, 2 adults 4 children. I currently am a SAHM but am looking for part time work within a couple of years no huge rush.

We would like a dog (not a puppy).but how do you know when it's the right time. Children are all primary /preschool sort of age

The things holding us back at the moment are days out and holiday, they would all have to be dog friendly

We are a pretty active outdoor family. Live on the coast so plenty of beach for exercise, large house and garden etc

I think I am the one who wants a dog the most so it's not the children desperate for one although they would love one so there no concern if they won't walk it (hopefully they will!).but I am expecting to be doing most of it which is fine by me

We are thinking of maybe a collie sort of size or similar although I know collies need alot of mental stimulation.

We would also love a rescue dog but lots of rescues say no children.

All advice appreciated thanks!

Also incredibly restrictive and sometimes stressful even in dog friendly places. You can't guarantee that your dog will be ok off lead and friendly. Just be prepared to train and work hard on ironing out issues quickly

It’s a big tie. We can’t go out to the cinema and have a meal as it’s too long.
On the plus side I love walking the dogs. It’s my daily therapy!

We have a 10 month old German shepherd - similar size maybe a bit bigger than a collie and very similar intellect level. I WFH right now so she has company for most of the day. She gets a 30-45 min walk in the morning with either me or my husband. Then she is a bit crazy back home so we get out some of her toys/brain training type games for her to wear her out. Then she's asleep or just mooching around the house for several hours. By 3pm though she is usually full of energy again and needs a walk to keep her out of mischief! So usually 45 mins to an hour walk in the afternoon with me, working the school bus stop pick up into it - 2 birds 1 stone. She would merrily do more walking/playing fetch but we're trying to balance out keeping her exercised and tiring her out with not over doing it so that it causes joint problems when she's older.

We have two medium/large size dogs- both rescue - and 3 children (2 primary and a toddler). We both work from home. Generally the dogs go for a big off lead walk once a day (1hr all off lead as our garden backs onto a woodland walk) and otherwise potter/zoom in the garden and sleep. Day to day the dogs just fit in with our plans and we don't think about it. Taking all the kids and dogs out is a pain (especially in winter) so we only do that at weekends and otherwise it's an adult only job. Going away, even for a day trip, is often a pain. There's not many truly dog friendly places (that are also kid friendly) and a lot of our friends and family aren't dog people so the dogs can't come when we visit friends. Day trips to the zoo/theme park are expensive if you have to factor in a dog walker. Holidays are very expensive if you have to factor in kennels/boarding. Walkers and kennels book up fast, especially in summer, so it's difficult to be spontaneous! We have always had dogs and wouldn't be without them. Ive never had a puppy, but our rescues have all had quite a long settling in period before we got to a sensible routine. We've had a chewer, a tricky house-trainer, a nervous one (wouldn't be alone). On a practical note, with the age of our children (sound similar to yours) the dogs do not have free roam of the house+ they are only allowed in kitchen, dining room and the garden and the children are never left with them unsupervised.

It's a very big commitment. We can't just have a day out whenever we want to. With holidays you have to take in to account the cost of boarding. We have an anxious dog so he can't be left at a boarders so we have to accommodate travelling hours to my parents so they can dog sit for us.
We can only leave him for a few hours at most.
I love him but every decision we make has to be planned around the dog.

Don’t until the kids are 10 plus !
They need to be bombproof reliable with how that handle / behave with the dog.

If that’s don’t get in his face / space they have to always do that. We’ve had multiple “ dog snapped at 6/8yr old who stepped near his foot / got in his face even when adult in same room.

We have a small dog that came to us when she was a year old. Not a rescue but from a private home, her owner had passed away. Our child was around 4.5 years at the time.

Agree with what has been mentioned. You have to factor everything in when you have a dog, walks, food, how long you can leave them, holidays. It is definitely restrictive and they are a huge commitment.

They do impact on every moment of your life.
Can't go out without them for more than 4 hours at a time.
Do you have someone who would dog mind for you.
Days out, a wedding , a weekend away cause problems.
Walking in the rain when it's cold or you're tired.
They are amazing but also life changing.

We have an energetic medium sized dog. He’s a naturally good boy and we also trained him so he lets himself in and out through the dog flap for wees. Sleep through in our room in his bed. Has an hour off lead walk every day and is happy with that - is slim, fit, settled in the house. We can happily leave him for up to six hours but we have an excellent dog walker who will also do weekends and she comes in if we are going to be out for more than 4 hours. My brother stays here if we go away for the weekend or holidays.

I think without the support of dog Walker/family, or we had a dog with separation anxiety etc I would find it really hard and confining, but he just fits in really. I would also never have a dog that couldn’t go off the lead, nothing more life affirming than a dog gambolling in the woods!

I will also say that once you have kids, your life becomes different anyway, and a dog for us didn’t change that too much. We already had to plan to go out etc, and it’s been great for getting the kids out in all weathers. Only thing it’s impacted is family bike rides! Doesn’t seem any point going outdoors somewhere for exercise when the dog can’t come (couldn’t run along side the bikes, would get run over) so we never do it!

Unless the whole family is on board don’t do it - we’ve had our rescue almost a year now. I wanted him more than husband or 2 kids kids are indifferent to him dh actively wishes we didn’t have him and complains EVERY DAY

He’s a good dog but no recall, he’s always been good in house toilet wise but he’s also still eating random things around the house like the kids toys, jumps on the kitchen table and eats place mats hasn’t chewed the knobs off the cooker or switched on the gas for a while

He is walked first thing in morning, 45/60 minutes lunch time then 15/20 minutes usually 8-8.30 in evening

We’ve been through one winter and not looking forward to the weather changing

We have left him for 4 hours without problems so half days out with the kids are possible but not full days very easily

If you want a family friendly dog, who will retrieve a ball, then it's a Golden Retriever you want. They are the most wonderful, friendly, loyal dogs ever. Ours was perfect with our three children. Our youngest was six when we got her and this worked perfectly.

The dog and the kids had hours and hours of fun and games. She loved to retrieve, swim, wrestle and play tugs. She was always ready to play, even if she appeared to be asleep. She was my boys best friend.

We would like a dog (not a puppy).but how do you know when it's the right time. Children are all primary /preschool sort of age
Personally, despite puppies being hard work and bitey I would not get an adult dog with children.

The things holding us back at the moment are days out and holiday, they would all have to be dog friendly
Most dogs if trained can be left for a few hours for a occasional day out, they can go to kennels/home boarders if you are going on a non dog friendly holiday

We are thinking of maybe a collie sort of size or similar although I know collies need alot of mental stimulation
My older one is a border collie.
She’s really great, quiet, obedient, gentle, loving, tolerant of children, she does get a lot of exercise but tbh she isn’t demanding at all about it and doesn’t really miss a walk.
The only real negative thing I would say about collies is they are often completely unsociable with other dogs.

We would also love a rescue dog but lots of rescues say no children
Most rescues do not rehome to families with kids and personally I would never get a rescue with children.
I think if you are wanting a collie it’s even more important to avoid rescue IMO as a lot of the ones there will be the really high strung ones with issues common to collies like noise sensitivity, fear of children, dog aggression etc that people couldn’t cope with.

We had a staffy mix, but she was older when we got her so no experience of having a young puppy/teenage dog, which I imagine is extremely difficult.

I would say the ‘pros’ are just the love and company. We lucked out on a very chilled and happy family dog, a real ‘people’ dog. It gave me a lot of comfort since DH worked away a lot at that time, and did shift work so often I was alone if an evening - but it didn’t feel as lonely because you could chat to the dog, even though it’s mental and they can’t chat back! There was a feeling of safety as well although I don’t think she would have been much help if someone broke in.

The cons are the obvious stuff. Spontaneous days out are harder, and even ‘dog friendly’ places can be difficult since often they have specific areas dogs can’t be in. So your national trust or whatever says dog friendly but it doesn’t allow dogs near the cafe, which means you have to sort lunch in advance etc.

Also, the walking. I love being outside, but sorting two preschoolers and two primary age children into bad weather clothes and dragging them out into the horizontal rain in mid-November just isn’t fun. Everyone says they don’t mind the walking but waking up an hour earlier than you need to in the winter, day after day, is hard.

Also there is some stress when the dog becomes older and if it gets ill - eventually we had to put our dog down as she got ill and we had to balance the choice of surgeries and medication and her decreasing quality of life - it’s a horrible situation.

Holidays can be stressful too. Some dogs might enjoy kennels, ours would have hated it so we holidayed in the UK while we had her, except once my sister stayed at ours with the dog. And then if your dog is ok in kennels there is of course the extra cost associated with that.

All in all it’s a lovely experience but I wouldn’t get another dog until I’m retired and all the kids have flown the nest. It’s a lot of work.

Would also appreciate seeing anyone's daily routine with a dog especially a collie / greyhound / Labrador sort of size so I can see how a day looks like fitting in walks etc
I have two dogs, one is a border collie.

Weekdays:
Up at 6am, toilet, breakfast, get kids ready and the dogs come out with us for the school run walk (about an hour)

Usually, I would actually stay out for a further 2 - 3 hours but because the other one is too young currently we just do the hours school run.
When we get home both dogs go straight to sleep.
Around 12/1 I wake them for lunch and they have a little play then another sleep.
3pm the school run again (1 hour)
4pm they sleep
5pm or so they have a small meal then usually play until around 6 when they have a sleep.
Around 8 I’ll give them another meal, they’ll have more play and more sleep.
10pm they have a biscuit and go to bed

Weekends:
No walks on weekends, feeding times about the same, they both spend most of the weekend sleeping!

You wouldn’t normally feed a bigger dog like a collie 4 times a day but my other one is a tiny toy breed and shouldn’t be fed once or twice a day.

Check your local guide dogs team and see if they need foster homes for around 26 weeks at a time - you can try having a dog without the long term commitment!

if a collie you need a significant off lead time, they really need to run circles. We got a rescue from a small local charity and its been great.
We do something like:
school drop off, I walk for hour and a half,
someone at home mostly working outside all day,
after school park visit, throw ball for an hour while kids play at park,
tea time run with dh for half an hour.
Once a week he goes to dog walker for whole day out to have proper big run with other dogs.
This is fine for us during the week but it is harder to maintain at the weekends when kids have other priorities than hours of walking. if out for more than a few hours would need dog walker in.
Would also say looking at your routine idea is that our collie wouldn't last so long before his walk, they are climbing the walls till they get the walk so 9 is the latest we leave him till walking - hes no fun till walked of a morning.
So defo collies are a lot to think about, smaller non working breeds are easier but yes it is a complete lifestyle choice as you cant go out for the day all together unless you have dog walker etc. Saying that it is a positive lifestyle choice to have a dog as you have to walk which is great for many reasons!

Do not get a dog... they take up so much time

throw ball for an hour
An hour?!
That is so SO bad for his joints!!!

after school park visit, throw ball for an hour while kids play at park,

Please stop doing this - the strain on his joints will be enormous!

I have a 5 year old collie who is amazing with the kids and very well trained but the puppy stage was very hard as she chewed up everything and is still very hyper. We go for an hour walk in the morning of the lead with a ball! Then off to work she goes with DH ( Farm dog ).Then DH takes her for another walk at night time... Biggest down side for us is the hairs🙈.. Honestly Collies need alot of time and attention but they are amazingly affectionate

We have a LabX and 2 children youngest was 8.5 when we had as a puppy. I wouldn’t have wanted a younger child with a puppy. First year with puppy really hard work but so worth it to see the lovely calm dog emerging now aged 18mth. School run 45min walk, evening walk 1-1.5hrs. Regular running in long garden outside but also lots of sleeping during the day now. As an active family the first year was hard with a puppy as I’ve done less running or cycling as don’t have enough time if walking 45mins before working. Cycling I’m restricted to two hours max if using the crate or now left to kitchen more now. Family days can be hard work as someone has to look after the dog all the time so I’ve found myself parenting solo more as DH looks after the dog. He’s happy but I’ve got pissed off at times that he’s out happily doing a long evening walk whilst I’m battling activities/dinner/bed/bath time on my own. Cost of insurance/vet puppy plan stuff not covered by ins, food, equipment it all adds up. However she’s had a brilliant effect on my DD who is ASD calms her down and they are inseparable wouldn’t change dog for the world she fab company but yes can be very restrictive.

Collies need loads of exercise and mental stimulation. I think that the easiest family dog to have is a golden retriever or a lab. All of the ones I encounter on walks completely ignore other dogs and other humans and are totally focused on their own humans. They love fetching balls and swimming which means they're great fun for kids. I've never had a retriever or lab but I observe hundreds of dogs a week when out and about with my dog and I think they are the perfect family pet. The only thing that would put me off would be the hair. But I think that's a small price to pay. Unfortunately I was overuled when we got our last dog so we didn't get one but for a first timer and family pet I think they are the easiest and give a lot of joy. Last night I watched a little boy throwing a ball into the river and his lab was so happy jumping in and bringing it back to him, over and over again. I had a bit of dog envy (mine dislikes water and doesn't retrieve a ball) I know some other breeds can be like this but the labs and golden retrievers that I see all seem to be like this.

Also, if you live near the sea you want a dog that likes water. Greyhounds generally don't.