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Sleep deprivation. I can't cope.

33 replies

cheeseisthebest · 22/09/2021 07:38

It's not an option to have puppy in my bedroom.
Some nights he happily sleeps all night in his crate but there's been some nights where he just won't and I'm on very uncomfortable sofa with him on the floor. I'm so so tired, how can I consistently get him to sleep happily in his crate? He's 17 weeks and be with us for 7 weeks. He won't be in his crate with me next to him, just barks. Although sometimes he will! Sorry tiredness making me incoherent! I try comforting him when he's there but he's just sat up alert and barking.

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PinkFootstool · 22/09/2021 07:41

What happens if he's not in a crate? Neither of ours are crate trained and just settle on their beds.

icedcoffees · 22/09/2021 08:07

He sounds very distressed. Have you tried putting him in a pen instead of a crate to give him a bit more room to move around?

I'm afraid the only solution with ours was to have him in our bed room. Is the reason you don't want him in there practical (eg. Lack of space) or you just don't like the idea of dogs in bedrooms?

Personally, if at all possible, I would have him in your room so you can at least be comfortable at night and then work towards moving his crate further away and eventually downstairs.

PollyRoullson · 22/09/2021 08:43

I will never ever have dogs in my bedroom - not sure about them but I will be very distressed and it is not necessary to ensure dogs sleep happily Smile.

What breed is he?

Is he happy being left in the daytime?

Where is he left in the daytime?

Where does he choose to sleep in the daytime?

cheeseisthebest · 22/09/2021 09:30

He's not really distressed he wants to play!
I don't have space in my bedroom and I don't want him in there. He sleeps near me in the daytime, never left alone for more than a few minutes, I work from home so haven't needed too. He's a shih tzu.

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cheeseisthebest · 22/09/2021 09:31

He will sometimes sleep in crate in daytime or just on the floor or sofa.

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cheeseisthebest · 22/09/2021 09:32

His crate is actually quite a big one, he does like it he just wants me there I think and maybe he's just not tired enough?
Trying to think if the nights he slept were busier days?

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PinkFootstool · 22/09/2021 09:51

What's his routine? If he just wants to play, you need to teach a "settle" command. Also, think Supernanny - if you're woken up in the night, pop him out for a wee, then back in the crate - no engagement, be very boring, don't talk to him except for basics commands if you have to, no cuddles, playing or fussing him. It's like sleep training a child to some extent.

Violet9 · 22/09/2021 09:52

We didn't use a crate just a puppy pen with her bed in, and because she was used to that set up already from the breeder before we got her, she slept fine. We leave the radio on low for her in the kitchen and she's normally very tired in the evening from walks and play, but she's a Labrador so I appreciate all breeds are different. We had some issues with other things when we first got her and found a local dog trainer who had recommendations and good reviews on their website and Facebook pages. She was fantastic, she came to us and spent time with us just observing, getting us to do the things we we're having difficulty with, then gave us lots of feedback and and advice and a training plan. She was worth her weight in gold tbh! Like you we never wanted our puppy to sleep upstairs with us as our dogs in the past have always slept in the kitchen and we'd never used a crate. We were told by the breeder if she cried on the first night don't go down or she'll learn to

Violet9 · 22/09/2021 09:55

^^ do it for attention every night! I wasn't sure I could do that but luckily she didn't cry until the morning when she needed a wee and was hungry. Sleep deprivation is the worst I feel for you Thanks

Dontfuckingsaycheese · 22/09/2021 10:02

‘ it is not necessary to ensure dogs sleep happily ‘. I’m sorry?? 😯

cheeseisthebest · 22/09/2021 10:54

@Dontfuckingsaycheese

‘ it is not necessary to ensure dogs sleep happily ‘. I’m sorry?? 😯
I read that as it is not necessary to have a dog in your bedroom to ensure they sleep happily. As in they can sleep happily elsewhere! Just been teaching him settle in his crate with praise and treats. Really good idea! What is so hard is the excited barking that then wakes everyone else but settle feels like a good strategy to help. Thank you. Sometimes when you are tired you can't think can you! Am now stroking and praising whilst he's in his crate quite happily. Going to attempt to move away!
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PollyRoullson · 22/09/2021 12:24

@Dontfuckingsaycheese

‘ it is not necessary to ensure dogs sleep happily ‘. I’m sorry?? 😯
Of course I meant it is not neccessary to have dogs in your bed to sleep happily!

In fact I think it is a life skill to ensure your dog can sleeep happily without you. You may not always be there and you may not always be able to sleep in your bedroom. Getting a dog to sleep comfortabley without you is very important.

PollyRoullson · 22/09/2021 12:27

OP you need to start with the days. It would be good to get your dog happy to be on their own for very short sessions in the day and then this will be easy to encourage at the night time.

So when you pop to the loo or shower sprinkle treats in the crate pop out and then pop back in again with no drama. Do this several times a day.

Over days and do not rush this you can leave for longer. Maybe pop out of the room to have a coffee in another room. take a work call in another room. As it becomes normal for your dog to spend very short periods of time on their own it will help with nights.

Great plan to increase distance and duration when he settles in the bed, being careful to reward him when he is calm and quiet. Watch out for him to start action promting you to treat him eg he may be lying down but may start to lower his chin or wriggle a bit to encourage the treat. Always treat when calm.

cheeseisthebest · 22/09/2021 12:28

Thank you Polly I've found this all really helpful.
He was so settled in his crate I even managed to go upstairs for half an hour. Came down and he was still fine.

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PollyRoullson · 22/09/2021 12:32

That is great fantastic!

cheeseisthebest · 22/09/2021 12:48

I feel like I have a strategy now that he's responded well too rather than blindly shushing whilst trying to get my fingers nibbled!

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Powertothepetal · 22/09/2021 13:09

I’d just put him in your bedroom tbh.
Mine has been here a little over a week and sleeping very happily in his crate in our bedroom now.
There is absolutely no way he would cope in a crate in a different room I don’t think as he wants to be close and sleep either on top of someone or our other dog in the daytime.

cheeseisthebest · 22/09/2021 13:41

He's not going in my bedroom as I said!

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cheeseisthebest · 22/09/2021 13:41

I don't have the space plus other reasons!

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icedcoffees · 22/09/2021 15:16

Shih tzus are barky little things anyway.

How much exercise, stimulation and dedicated attention is he getting during the day?

I know you're around a lot as you say you WFH but that's not the same as giving him plenty of one-on-one time for walks, training, brain games etc.

Powertothepetal · 22/09/2021 17:03

He's not going in my bedroom as I said!
Some dogs IMO will never settle away from you at night in another room.
Yours sounds like one of those dogs.
🤷🏻‍♀️

Wolfiefan · 22/09/2021 17:05

If you won’t have the dog in your bedroom then you need to find a way to sleep more comfortably downstairs for now.

cheeseisthebest · 22/09/2021 17:55

Lots of exercise, training, playing, puzzle feeder, etc, lots of out and about including 2 school runs where he meets lots of people.
I can't have in my room it's just too small and not safe.
Yup guess I will just have to accept sleeping downstairs. I just didn't expect to still be doing it after 7 weeks!

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MightyMeerkat · 22/09/2021 19:41

Maybe think about buying or borrowing a camp bed? Or putting the sofa cushions on the floor and sleeping on those? I bought a camp bed for £20 on Amazon. It was a small price to pay for a better nights sleep

cheeseisthebest · 22/09/2021 19:54

I'm going to blow the airbed up and use that tonight! Way more comfy.

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