How common is it to regret getting a dog?

[LittleGreyFluffyCat]

I've just lost my little cat to a car accident. I suspect it's the grief talking but part of me is tempted to research getting a dog.

My mum and step dad have always had dogs. Their latest is a rescue and she can't be left alone for any period of time (not sure what she does I'll need to ask them). They have to take her out with them in the car and can then leave her nearby to them in the car for 1 hour, so this limits their lives. They started using a kennel for special events or holidays but then that didn't work out for this dog either (not sure on why really).

My mum and step D both huff and puff a lot about how they shouldn't have got this particular dog, and I do remember some moaning about their previous dog who chewed things.

Have they just been unlucky or is this type of thing common?

I'm not up for getting a dog if it's going to mean I can never meet friends or go on holiday. Most of the time I'm home, but even so, I don't want it to become a prison!

Getting a dog means changing your life. I do complain about mine, but it is a choice I made and went in eyes open (I complain about the kids as well)
Everything we do has to factor in the dog. Every day.

I think dogs are harder than children in this way, everything you do has to factor the dogs in - holidays mean taking them with you or finding a kennel that your dog will be comfortable in. When you go out, you can't be out for too long as you need to get back for the dog. You have to absolutely walk them everyday, rain, shine or snow.

I personally didn't like having a dog, loved them to death but they were practical for our family and I wish I never got them - cats are much much easier.

I can see you've posted a few times today due to your cat passing away, please take some time to grieve before making any big decisions however personally I'd say no to a dog, very different to cats.

I do know quite a few people who regret having dogs. I certainly regret my neighbours' dogs.

Dogs are a big commitment if you are concerned with their welfare and socialisation. Lots of people don't care and the poor dog is under exercised, under stimulated and poorly trained. Rescue dogs add another element of unknown factors, you can't be sure of their past etc. But pets are a great source of companionship and joy.

What attracts you to a dog? What impact would one have on your current lifestyle? If you're considering a puppy are you prepared for the chaos! I'd really chat with dog owners about the good and the bad of dog ownership.

My family had dogs as a kid, i don't really like them and I wouldn't particularly want one. I have children and chickens and they're pretty lovely! I even have one chook who likes to perch on me like a majestic falcon rather than a dumpy little hen.

I do think you are more likely to hear about the people with regrets than vice versa. It's natural to voice moans. Those who are happy and content are less likely to talk about if you see what I mean? Personally my dog has slotted into my life nicely. I already enjoyed walking daily and I only work part time term time (dog is fine for 4-5 hours on those days). I also have supportive family members who will take him for a week if we go away and a dog walker practically next door. So it's easy for me. It really depends on your circumstances. I agree about taking some time to think about it. Sorry about your cat

expensive vet bills. inevitably. They will at the very least have check ups done every year, and depending on the breed of dog they may develop a range of heridteray conditions across their lifetime of which the treatment/surgery you will have to pay for, each time there's something wrong with them it will typically cost between hundreds to thousands of pounds. And I'm not sure if it applies to every vet but I get charged a consultancy fee at the start so you might need to factor that in too

Grooming services unless you do it at home where you'll need to pay for the equiptment, you may find you also need a grooming table to attatch them to

Daily dental chews and/or toothbrush and toothpaste.
the weekly cost of food
toys
harness or collar and a leash

Unless you've got someone at home who will do it for you you'll have to pay someone to look after them if you go away for more than a few hours

other thing you may have to pay for are a dog bed, a crate, you may have to replace carpets if they have frequent indoor accidents, if they get bored and decide to destroy your furniture and/or personal belongings you'll find you have to replace that too

You can't take them on most public transport
There are a lot of places you can't go with a dog, it will really limit what you're able to do and when you go shopping you can't bring them in. It also might be too hot of a day to leave them in the car even with the windows rolled down

OP's mum has a dog that has separation anxiety. This condition is not unusual in rescued dogs left alone in a new environment.

We've had seven rescue dogs and only one of them had separation anxiety .It can be overcome with patience and the right training. and once he felt secure it never recurred even when we took him to different places on holiday etc.

Quite apart from pet issues, its sounds as if OP has communication problems with her DM and SD.

I have two cats who I love to bits. But I think dogs are a very different proposition to cats. My cats are very happy to be alone together and when we go on holidays we just have to arrange for someone to drop in once a day to feed them and change the litter once a week. They get to stay in their own home and they have company with each other.

Having a dog is a huge commitment and one that I’m not willing to take on.

Thanks for the responses, all very helpful.

I WFH and find it very lonely and boring so I was thinking a dog would give me companionship and purpose. I'd love to be forced out of the house for a walk twice a day, I know I need this myself but I'm not very good at actually doing it.

I'll keep thinking but there's a lot that PPs have said that have given me reason to feel put off the idea for now. Maybe I should see if any neighbours need their dogs walking instead.

2bazookas I'm not sure I'd describe my issues with DM and SD as just 'communication issues'. It's more that they're incredibly difficult to deal with. They have hardly any friends or family left who will speak to them but that is a whole different thread...

You can't take them (dogs) on most public transport

??????? I've never been refused access to public transport with a dog.

All my dogs have been frequent travellers on public transport ( rural and city buses, trains, ferry) where they were invariably clean, quiet, well behaved.

If you are unsure then don’t do it. We have 2 young dogs. They are a tie, but we are willing to accommodate that. Luckily our work and my dh retiring soon mean that they are rarely at home alone, and if they are no more than a couple of hours. I personally don’t want to put mine in kennels and will plan holidays that we can take them on and plan nights out so they are not left. We do have an adult stepdaughter at home which helps.

I don’t regret getting them as they bring me so much joy and pleasure, but life is simpler without them. Only you know if you can change your life to accommodate a dog.

I love my boy so accept the restrictions owning a dig brings

I'm fortunate have a lovely dog walker /home boarder to allow days out but you need to accept that no spontaneous days out unless dog friendly no staying longer than plan to if left them at home

Dogs are a huge commitment - they're a lifestyle more than a pet, really.

You have to think about so many things - having enough time to walk them each day, the general cost of dog ownership (food, toys, insurance, flea/worm medication, boosters etc.), what you'll do with the dog when you're out for a long period of time, what you'll do when you go to places that aren't dog friendly, what you'll do on holiday...

I love my dog and he's made a hugely positive impact on our lives but he's a huge commitment and there are a lot of things that would be easier if he wasn't around. I wouldn't swap him for the world though!

I think it's quite common to have regrets occasionally but the positives hopefully make up for any regrets. Our dog can be left three or four hours but rarely do this and instead drop them off with family who look after them for the day. I think they are a huge tie and every plan has to factor in what happens with the dog but I wouldn't not have her regardless.

Have a look at the Cinnamon Trust op. They put elderly people with dogs in touch with dog walkers.

The good thing about walking with a dog is that you meet other dog owners.

Also have you considered a pair of rabbits or guinea pigs? The latter are much easier to keep but given the right food and living conditions, both make good companions. Neither are particularly cuddly but they have wonderful individual personalities if allowed to thrive in the right environment.

How about learning to ride? That can be a wonderful way of meeting people. Obviously requires a bigger budget.

Whatever pet you have, however small, and in fact I practised this with dc when small, it is always good to.have back up care in place before you need it for a holiday or an emergency.

Good luck op. I am so very sorry for your loss

I adore our rescue dog, but have to say I would definitely prefer a cat. She missed out on crucial socialisation and training as a puppy - we can't take her anywhere except out into the countryside, as other dogs, people, roads, cars, pushchairs etc stress her out. Luckily she doesn't have separation anxiety and is good at being left on her own, but even so it's not fair to leave her more than a few hours so it really does dictate our lives.

I wfh full time and while she definitely is some companionship in the day, she also spends vast amounts of time asleep (fair play - what a life!) and therefore not interacting with me, or barking at the neighbours cat, the postman, a fly etc. which isn't always great for the working environment.

She's lovely, but if I knew then what I know now, I would get a cat or 2.

We had to rehome our rescue dog this year because my eldest couldn't take to him, and had started avoiding rooms that the dog (and the rest of the family) were in. Desperately unhappy times because he was a much wanted and much loved pet, two things prevent me from ever trying again though, aside from the fact that my DC is scared of dogs.

1. The time you have to invest in them. Literally hours every day.
2. The shit. I dealt with it, but I never got used to it. I find dog shit absolutely repulsive.

I've just seen your other thread about your poor cat I definitely think you need to grieve before you make such a big decision.

We got our dog when we felt we were ready and I wasn’t working as I knew I wouldn’t be able to leave a dog for long periods of time. DH and I are now owners of a 3 year old border collie and we are both at home. We thought if we were to go away on holidays our 2 adult DS would be able to look after him, but we’ve never gone away without him. Dogs are a huge commitment, need walking rain or shine and even snow. But the benefits outweigh the negatives, he brings such a joy to our lives and we are never alone. I won’t lie the first few puppy months were hard and we did wonder if we should have got a puppy, but we wouldn’t be without him now.

We had a dog for over a year. It was, honestly, the worst time ever and I cried EVERY SINGLE DAY. They are such a tie, we could do absolutely nothing, and with the children it was impossible to do anything spontaneously.

We did rehome him, and it was absolutely the right decision. He was (and I am really not exaggerating when I say!) ruining our home life completely. I lived on a knife edge that whole year.

And I have to agree with the PP above, the poo was just vile. Vile, vile, vile. That was what broke me. Our dog just would not house train, despite being outside every 30 mins. He even regressed to pooing in his crate. Cleaning poo off the wires of a crate at 5am while suffering from morning sickness was just the limit!

Cats are a DODDLE compared to dogs. We have had one for years and she is basically self sufficient!

I’d have 6000 newborns before I’d have another dog.

Study by insurance company sas 1 in 5 deeply regret getting a dog and 1 in 6 admit they got the wrong dog for their family.

Hard to say but figures suggest that 130,000 dogs go into resuce centres in the uk (that is oficial centres) so probably more.

So a lot of people regret getting dogs.

It is not a decision that should be made when life has already changed a lot for you and you are grieving. Your situation sounds extremely traumatic and I am really sorry for you loss Take care of yourself and give yourself time to grief.

A local resuce centre though would love to welcome you in to help with dog walking if you felt that might get you our walking and meeting some dogs without too much commitment

I regretted getting my rescue dogs for months. We have no children so were free to do whatever we wanted, whenever we wanted. I could go places on my way home from work, I could lie in at weekends (exh did morning Walkies in the week). My life suddenly changed - I was tied, I had zero freedom.

One of the two also wouldn’t sleep. She’d howl all night, needed constant attention. We adopted older dogs to avoid that.

I felt totally isolated from my friends who all live in a city an hour away.

It took maybe 6 months for things to calm down.

I wouldn’t be without my woofs now. It’s 8 years on. I lost one of the two original rescues a year and a week after they came home. It took 6 weeks until another rescue came home. I’m now on original girly and boy nr 4. Shes 17 now and I’m terrified of the day coming when she’s not here any more. I can’t imagine life without her.

I don't regret our dog because the dc adore them.
But there is no way I will get another.

We lost our cat recently after a long life. I would like another cat in the future.

In your circumstances it could work but you’d have to be sure you can WFH for a good while.

Puppies require a LOT of training. Vet, insurance fees and eye watering amounts of money should you need a dog sitter or daily dog walker will be needed.

But I will say, if it’s companionship you’re looking for and the motivation for daily walks then on those fronts you’d get that.

Someone else has mentioned the cinnamon trust. You can also long or short term foster for them too. Might be an idea to dip your toe in to the world of dog ownership

I'm sorry about your loss .

Given time, you might feel able to welcome another cat into your life. You cannot replace a cat but you can fill the cat-shaped hole.