All the relentless dog training is getting me down

[Kammee]

I am so sad a lot of the time. I don’t feel strong enough to cope some days. I have tried so hard to train her and it just feels relentless. She still pulls on the lead. She barks in the garden at noises that she hears and then we have to bring her in because dont think it’s fair on the neighbours. Blinds are pulled closed cos she barks at the birds she see outside. I cant walk her on pavements due to her being scared of every car that goes past. She is improving in this area, but we still have to walk on quieter streets. She jumps up on people she knows and also sometimes strangers. Family members seem to be getting frustrated with her jumping up to say hello and expecting me to train this habit out of her. But it’s not even that high a priority for me. She jumps up to say hello that lasts about 10 seconds then she mostly leaves them alone after that. I know I need to deal with it but it’s one thing on a massive list of things that I need to train her for. And I am just exhausted by it. It feels quite isolating. Sorry not sure what I am posting here but just wanted to get it out.

I have taken her to a few different trainers but haven’t found many to be very helpful. She knows lots of commands - wait, leave, sit, stay, down, etc and does these really well. The things I need to improve I feel aren’t really taught by a trainer but require perseverance by me day in day out.

Halti head collar is good for stopping them pulling and you really should work on stopping the jumping at people - very antisocial.

Oh OP, you sound so overwhelmed

What breed is she and how old is she? Do you have the support of family or a partner who is helping you with all this?

Oh I feel you. My lab is three and is still a work in progress. He’s still pully unless we are really consistent with stopping dead when he does it. He is terrible with other dogs. He jumps up.

It’s relentless and feels like we’ll never have that lovely dog walking nicely along beside us.

Bizarrely he’s absolutely perfect in the house.

I don’t think I have ever cried so often as I have since we got her 🙁

It's so tough OP. Something I started doing through the advice of the rescue support was to make a diary. Just little wins (and failures). It has helped me to look back over the weeks and to see how she has improved. And she has. Baby steps but we are celebrating the achievements.
I still have days when I feel we are back to the beginning but we also have good days.
We use a 2 point harness and double ended lead. It has been amazing for the pulling. It has helped me train her to walk loose lead.

Keep at it. You are doing great.

Canni collar op was a game changer for me
Also I think you need to step back from the training, sounds a bit intense. Find a trainer who is very positive and perhaps a trainer who can teach you to develop the bond between you and your dog, your relationship is key to your dog doing what you ask of it. Also if it’s at adolescence stage it will start being a bit wilful/naughty. It can do all the sit down etc you want but your dog needs to be able to do them in every environment, not just at home but I def think researching trAiners is a good idea, I’ve trained loads of my own dogs but this one is a total twat at times and I’ve really struggled with things with him. He’s finally getting there thanks to my sister (dog trainer) who is amazing and gets fabulous results you can’t get 1:1 with her as she’s so busy - that’s the type of trainer you need to find ask around for recommendations (in not just saying her because she’s my sister btw)

Step right back, one day at a time. Decide what you think is the most important thing you want to work on, get help with it as above then move on. Find the highest value treats for dog or toy if it’s more interested. (Mine won’t take food but loves a squeaky ball - drives me mad) but he loves it. Taking the pressure off the dog and yourself will really help. Play, rub tummies and have fun with your dog, lots of long strokes and bond with him, sometimes if you’re frustrated that goes through to your dog and that relationship won’t be what it should be to get the best from your training. I’ve been there when mine jumped at everything and was just a nightmare we ditched walks for a bit and did games and had fun then changed our training methods and now he can be walked anywhere. Still plenty to work on but focus to begin with on small wins the good stuff and praise praise praise, ignore the bad stuff.

I am normally calm and loving with her it just sometimes gets on top of me when I have a bad day. We do scent game and trick training in the garden. But I am starting to run out of enthusiasm for them and just doing the same stuff over and over - although she does like it still.

I am just struggling to find a trainer I gel with. I have tried about 4 or 5 now. I prefer mostly teaching myself from YouTube videos and books. We seem to make more progress this way. I think the problem is her response to stimuli which is out of my control - bikes, cars, people, birds, noises and it gets wearing after a time

What age and breed is she, OP?

She is 7.5 months. She is a springer spaniel.

She is very nervous going to the vets. And the thought of the first season and spay is weighing on my mind too

Do you just do the scent game with her?

What other enrichment activities do you do with her?

Crikey she’s a baby @Kammee give yourself a break , very few dogs walk perfectly at that age . Does she get much time offlead ?

Vets are used to nervous dogs, don’t let that put you off getting her neutered it’s really important for increasing health risks such as mammary tumours. Although giving her her first season can reduce the chance of urinary incontinence. Speak to your vet to make your mind up regarding pre or post first season (you’ll need to wait a few months after her season).

She’s just a baby and you sound like you’re doing very well

Yes she is very good offlead and stays with me on forest walks. It’s the most success I have had with her. I just had a bad day today. She chased a jogger (did come back quickly) barked and lunged at a bike (she was on lead at this point) and also kept looking to run off to greet a lady she seemed intent on saying hello to. I did manage to keep calling her back but it wasn’t easy to distract her. And I just felt her training was all disintegrating. Then when we got home she was licking the food in the dishwasher which dh is intent on not letting her do. But I just can’t face that battle every time I open the dishwasher. What do others do about this?

*reducing health risks. I didn’t mean to press send so early so no chance to proof read

The scent games sound great! What else are you doing for enrichment? Does she get the chance to run around? Do you have any friends that don’t mind dogs jumping up that will help you encourage her not to? (As they’ll likely be jumped on a lot at first)

Don’t open the dishwasher until she’s in a pen or in the garden or the other room.
Use a longline you ensure she can’t bugger off and bother strangers.
Do your resesarch and find a trainer you can stick with.
She’s a baby.

I have two family members and maybe one friend who would help me work in the jumping up. I think part of the problem is the kids allow her to do it and let her lick them on the face so she really isn’t getting the message that this isn’t allowed.

I do scent games and fetch mainly. I can’t really think what else to do.

Don’t allow her around the kids unsupervised. I always start the intro with pup on a house line.

A spaniel that age is going to be tiring. Personally I would choose a few things to concentrate on and ignore the rest for now.

I don't think you need to train everything all at once.

She's still a baby and training isn't something that you just get done by six months and then that's it, perfect dog. It's ongoing until they mature, and tbh the age she's at now can be tricky anyway, it's kind of a teen stage where they push boundaries.

If she knows commands like sit/stay, can't you get her doing that when people come so that she doesn't jump up? Or maybe keep her on a lead for a short while when people come in the house, then when she's said hello and they are sat down (and she's calm) she can be let off.

I guess it’s just frustrating that you put all this work in and actually have a decent amount of success in some areas on training. But others only ever notice the things that aren’t going well and the. I feel judged for not training her well. But it’s not that I am not trying

It actually sounds like she (and you) are doing pretty well so far OP, you're expecting a lot at a young age.

She will sit and stay for a pet we try to do this at home with the kids but just as you lean over to pet her the excitement gets too much and she jumps up to lick the face and kind of head butts you a bit if you are unlucky. I did watch a video where they recommended standing in the lead below them so they physically can’t jump up. But not sure if she would actually be learning anything in this situation.

*standing on the lead

She's a teenager! I think your expectations are really off here - and I mean that in the nicest way possible.

If you don't want her to get in the dishwasher, keep her out of the room. My beagle is three and we still have a babygate in place to keep him out of the kitchen!

Environmental management is key for young dogs.