All the relentless dog training is getting me down

[Kammee]

I am so sad a lot of the time. I don’t feel strong enough to cope some days. I have tried so hard to train her and it just feels relentless. She still pulls on the lead. She barks in the garden at noises that she hears and then we have to bring her in because dont think it’s fair on the neighbours. Blinds are pulled closed cos she barks at the birds she see outside. I cant walk her on pavements due to her being scared of every car that goes past. She is improving in this area, but we still have to walk on quieter streets. She jumps up on people she knows and also sometimes strangers. Family members seem to be getting frustrated with her jumping up to say hello and expecting me to train this habit out of her. But it’s not even that high a priority for me. She jumps up to say hello that lasts about 10 seconds then she mostly leaves them alone after that. I know I need to deal with it but it’s one thing on a massive list of things that I need to train her for. And I am just exhausted by it. It feels quite isolating. Sorry not sure what I am posting here but just wanted to get it out.

I have taken her to a few different trainers but haven’t found many to be very helpful. She knows lots of commands - wait, leave, sit, stay, down, etc and does these really well. The things I need to improve I feel aren’t really taught by a trainer but require perseverance by me day in day out.

Agilityclubs still do flat training for puppies, just no jumps till they are 1

@Kammee

Thank you. I will definitely put these ideas in to practise. Jamiefraserssassenach I was just starting to get her to sit in “place” using a mat. We aren’t having much success just now as she keeps chewing it and thrashing it around whenever I get it out and put it down for her !

Oh dear! Maybe try something a bit more solid to start with - a board you can keep at home, once she has the hang of that then transfer it to the mat. Remember as well to do really short bursts of training - she will get bored quickly, and when she does something undesirable one short sharp 'No' and if she doesn't stop immediately move her away from what she is doing and ignore until she calms, then give an easy command (sit) and 'yes, good girl sit' straight away with a treat. She will get the hang of wanting to do what you ask her to

I would cut down on the trainers tbh.

You seem a bit overwhelmed and you are doing the right thing - it’s just taking time.

I’m sure you will have a lovely dog soon. Your efforts will pay off eventually!

You get lots of people moaning about other people’s dogs being naughty but you are trying really hard so ignore them.

Btw the recall may also ‘get lost’ soon. Hang on in there - it will come back!

Thanks you. I really hope so. When I was out today and I saw the recall wavering I wondered if I had a ball to show her she would be more likely to come back to me. But I don’t really want to introduce balls to walking time. In case I set myself up for always throwing a ball on walks. Not sure what is the right thing here.

I have been sad a lot today. She is taking my time away from spending time with the children and it is so relentless.

I'd be genuinely impressed if your springer responds to treats at this age. Every one I've had or known couldn't give two hoots for the tastiest of treats when they were young like this - the world is far, far too exciting to be bothered by all that .

By all means use them, but also focus on ways to make yourself engaging. A springer will love to be rewarded with activity, so think about ways to work on that. e.g. using a sniff and find a ball in the garden that is rewarded with a quick throw. If that's the knd of thing that engages her then she will (hopefully) be concentrating on that when the noises happen and she will learn to ignore them.

Echo the suggestion for something like agility for puppies.

You could do much worse that just use this time to help her learn that you are the access gate to all the exciting things in the world. Get that and everything else becomes 1000% easier

But I don’t really want to introduce balls to walking time. In case I set myself up for always throwing a ball on walks. Not sure what is the right thing here.

If a ball works, use it. You don't need to throw it the entire time - have one for her to play with, and have one in your pocket and reward her with it when you recall her. Squeaky toys or tugs can work just as well.

I walk several dogs who have no interest in treats but will glue themselves to my side if they know I have a ball in my pocket

Thank you. A ball would probably be very good for recall. Or a tug toy. So maybe I need to increase my variety

Even my beagle will come back for a ball - and that's saying something!

I really would recommend trying to have some enjoyable, relaxing time with your dog as well as training and just enjoy each other as well. She won't be perfect. Just like a kid you'll do your best to teach/train but she'll still jump up or pull from time to time and you'll forgive each other. You'll love them regardless.

What do you mean by enjoyable relaxing time? When I am out walking with her I try to stop at benches and I love that when she sits with me and lets me stroke her. I have been trying to sit on the ground occasionally with her but she just licks my face (again!)
We don’t have her in the lounge normally as she still chews things a lot and I want the kids to have an area of the house where they can relax. But I wonder if this is a mistake and we would bond better there chilling out at times.

I was you when my dog was your age OP. My dog is a whippet so not the easiest to train

He’s my first dog and I was just unrealistic about what to expect. I spent too much time worrying and not enough time enjoying him. Take a deep breath. So many things will improve simply with age (not saying training isn’t important).

Even the difference between my dog at 3 years old and 4 years is huge. Some activities I actually stop taking him to a while because he would just get over stimulated. Now he’s 4 I can take him just about anywhere with no problems.

Some people don't allow their dogs in the lounge. I prefer to teach them that the lounge is a relaxing place.

We have one large cushion style bed and a blanket for the them to lay on the sofa. I have 3 and they lay all over the place. The oldest (show cocker) is currently on the dog bed, the middle (working cocker) is draped over me and the youngest (a rescue mixed breed puppy) is draped on her.

They know from after dinner, once everything is cleared up and they have been out that it's relaxing time. Well, I say they know. The youngest is still learning

What do you mean by enjoyable relaxing time?

Some of my favourite memories of my dog as a puppy are us snuggling up together on the sofa.

Let her in the lounge but have her on a lead that you hold so she can't run off and find trouble. She'll soon learn that it means settling down time and will cuddle up with you on the sofa or the floor if that's where you want her to be.

I think what PP is saying is don't get caught up in having a perfect dog - at 7 months she's just a pup and you have a good couple of years to go before she turns into a relatively calm adult.

Don't miss the fun of the puppy/young dog years by worrying yourself over her lead walking.

I have a six month old working cocker spaniel, bred by an experienced gun dog breeder. She is my first dog. I got her because I run - which is ironic because since I got her I have not really been able to run much at all as she obviously can't yet. I love her and she is usually really calm and well behaved in the house, but oh my goodness she is hard work!

I take her to training once a week. She is doing better than some on recall and watching me, but is much worse on down stays and heel walking (the other dogs at training are mostly German Shepherds). I find the training sessions really helpful because I can see that other puppies are not perfect either, and it means I cut myself a bit of slack!

In terms of the living room, our pup is not allowed in there freely running about because she's not fully reliable with chewing. I make her sit either on my lap or next to me on the sofa (I keep her on a short lead and hold on to it). She has learned that this is calm cuddle time and often now she snuggles up and falls straight to sleep. It's my favourite time of day. Other evenings she persistently mouths my arm and I have to dump her back in the kitchen and it all feels very disastrous. You are definitely not alone in your feelings.

Another thing that makes me feel better is going for a walk with a friend with older dogs. They are much more calm and relaxed about the things I find really stressful (for example getting her back on lead) and that relaxed attitude helps me to calm down, which leads to dpup behaving better.

I will try taking her in the lounge on a lead today. I don’t think it would work in the evening as she gets kind of hyper then so might practise this afternoon instead

It sounds as though you’ve had a few, one off sessions with different trainers Kammee. Can you find a good training group and commit to weekly sessions for the forseeable?
If I was a first time owner with my 10 month old lab, I’d be despairing and overwhelmed all the time, rather than occasionally.
Adolescent dogs are a challenge. Mine had good recall and loose lead walk, plus he didn’t jump up - he hit 8 months and became more boisterous and over confident off lead.
I’m using a K9 bridle to help lead walking, it’s like a gencon or halti. It won’t teach loose lead, we work on that using an ordinary collar and lead but it does mean I can walk him without my arm being wrenched if he tries to lunge to sniff something.
Pippa Mattibson and Steve Mann have good books on training. Best of luck

Stop formal training!

Using her meals teach orientation to you. So literally just throw her food a little way away from her then when she turns back to you ark and give her more food. - recall sorted! fun take 5 mins every day

teach a hand touch - put your hand by her nose, dogs being noisey will tur to your hand mark and reward - again do this when feeding her

Teach eye contact using some of her meal allowance if she looks at you rmark and reward

Do this for a week and you will notice a huge difference in recall loose lead walking - that is it literally.

If you are attempting platform training - you mentioned a mat - it is easy to do on a raised platform that is solid - can you use a stool or plank of wood. Just literally reward for being on the platform then add in the sit.

Thanks polly, I will try the reorientation game with food. We have a good eye contact already. I have taught her touch my hand when I say touch, but I don’t really understand when to use it or why it is useful.

From a few things you've said I do wonder if you are focusing on the wrong things some of the time. You say you keep the blinds pulled so she doesn't bark at the birds. You have trouble getting a harness/collar on. She's frightened of traffic and nervous at the vets. Also barks a lot in the garden. I think sorting all these out is just as important as not pulling/not jumping up. You sound very stressed by it all and I would think it's rubbing off on the dog. (As an aside, the only time I saw an experienced dog owning friend in tears was over a springer!). Your dog is very young, sometimes they haven't got the maturity to understand what is wanted. You need to take a step back from some things before you drive yourself mad. You are setting too many goals.
Get rid of the trainers. Relax. Work on the simple things first - living in a house with the blinds pulled because of a dog, for example, is ridiculous. Distract her. Put the collar on many times a day so she thinks nothing of it. Find some traffic to get her used to, etc etc.
Re the jumping up, everybody, always, including your children, has to react the same way, otherwise you are wasting your time. Don't let her greet strangers.
Having a puppy should be fun. I am currently on my last ever puppy because I am getting on a bit. I am a bit laid back about it all tbh, but I do observe the puppy and try and fit the training to the dogs maturity, in that, what is, one week, something they don't understand at all, by the next week they cotton on. Undesirable behaviour is ignored, not stressed about. Theres always another day and another lesson. You will get there in the end. What's the hurry anyway?

I used to dispair of our dog, until I read this book www.google.com/search?gs_ssp=eJzj4tLP1TfIMknOtjQyYPTiz8wrzkxJVchPU0hUSMlPBwB9Gwi9&q=inside+of+a+dog&oq=inside+of+a+dof&aqs=chrome.1.69i57j46i13j0i13l2.8125j0j4&client=ms-android-huawei-rev1&sourceid=chrome-mobile&ie=UTF-8 and actually she's often great fun to be around and a lovely companion. She's still a total pain in the arse, will not shut up and a bit of a liability out and about, but has a funny, sweet side that has given me a lot of joy.

@Kammee

Thanks polly, I will try the reorientation game with food. We have a good eye contact already. I have taught her touch my hand when I say touch, but I don’t really understand when to use it or why it is useful.

I use it to refocus my dog. For example if he's barking and I don't want him to then then I'll use 'touch' and reward for that, rather than telling him not to bark, as that would be giving attention to an unwanted behaviour.

Have you worked out what his favourite rewards are- food or toys, and what food he prefers as a treat?

I've no experience of spaniels though, they look gorgeous but we weren't brave enough!

If you have a solid hand touch you have recall and loose lead walking sussed

For recall ask for a touch the dog will charge from a distance you mark and reward. Run backwards sometimes to make the chase to you more fun.

For loose lead walking ask for a touch whilst waling along.If you hand is in the correct position your dog will immediatley being walking to heel. Reward eye contact when walking along and heel work is nearly sorted. Just add in duration and distractions - job done

Oh thanks. I will go out in garden and try these now! So I literally shout kammeepup touch ? Instead of kammeepup come ?

I’ve just written a long message and it’s disappeared! So, to the point- you ate doing a great job. If you like online learning then I can highly recommend AbsoluteDogs -they are concept trainers teaching games that help your dogs make the right choices in real life- eg proximity games that help with loose lead walking and recall, disengagement games to help stop dishwasher and people licking, optimism games to stop fearful barking etc There are masses of free resources on spotify and youtube or programs to buy- I started with the Sexier Than A Squirrel program £27 for 25 days of games but now have joined their Training Academy and bought a few specific programs- having fun with your dog can get addictive!
Whilst my dog is not perfect, he is so much easier now than he was (he’s currently lay on his boundary mat while we eat) and I am much better equipped for any hiccups along the way.
Good luck.