New puppy…can’t go ahead

[Franks55]

Hi
I’m about to get a puppy in ten days. I’m so anxious about it after reading everything. I’m not sure I can cope. I wake up feeling sick (that’s if I can sleep to begin with).
Have heard of puppy blues but didn’t think they’d kick in this early?
I’m seriously considering of cancelling puppy and losing deposit etc.
Is it normal to be this nervous? I am a highly anxious person.

Is there something in specific your anxious about?
Puppies are hard work but they aren't puppies forever.
Anxiety means your probably thinking of worse case scenario about everything but not all puppies are like that. Our dog was very easy as a pup and as a teen.

What breed is your pup?

What made you decide to get this pup? What are you worried about?

Tbh if you’re already feeling like this, it isn’t going to get better when the puppy arrives. They are very intense for a good few weeks and the puppy blues is a real thing.

Better to not stress the puppy out too much with multiple home changes very early on in its life than send it back within a few weeks. Puppies and dogs are sensitive to emotion, so your anxiety could stress the pup out, leading to further anxiety and then you’re stuck in a loop.

Maybe it would be better to look into adult rescue dogs instead? If that was something you’d consider?

I’m anxious about everything to be honest. I’m anxious about training (although have booked on to puppy classes and May get some additional 1:1); I’m worried about my son with the puppy (he’s 7 but loves dogs); worried that my partner won’t take an active part; worried that I’ll be sent away with work last minute and I will have to sort out care); worried about dog not being able to be left for 30 mins when I nip to the shops; worried about being tied to house for next few weeks.

We are at the coal face with our pup at the moment. I can already see he's getting easier. Rare accidents now (4 months and back door open). He really wants to please.

He's a chewer, and a jumper so it's up to me to discourage the jumping and to make sure he can't reach something he's not supposed to chew.

Don't believe all the horror stories. Once you step outside your comfort zone, put in the effort, your reward will be a new best friend.

Are you getting professional help with your anxiety?

Oh and crate him. This will be your saviour over night and short trips to the shop.

You will be tied to the house.
Assume it will all be left to you.
Are you working full time? That and a pup could well be a nightmare.
I found the puppy stage hard but I love my dogs!
TBH whatever you decide I would approach the GP for help with the anxiety.
What breed is it and how long have you been waiting OP?

@Ostryga

Tbh if you’re already feeling like this, it isn’t going to get better when the puppy arrives. They are very intense for a good few weeks and the puppy blues is a real thing.

Better to not stress the puppy out too much with multiple home changes very early on in its life than send it back within a few weeks. Puppies and dogs are sensitive to emotion, so your anxiety could stress the pup out, leading to further anxiety and then you’re stuck in a loop.

Maybe it would be better to look into adult rescue dogs instead? If that was something you’d consider?

Thank you…this is what I’m worried about as I know animals can sense anxiety.

An adult rescue isn’t an option at the moment.

Absolutely everything makes me anxious since losing my wife a year ago, but my solution is to get on with things regardless, which lessens my anxiety. I'd be still and silent and petrified every day otherwise. So I work drive shop arrange life's admin etc all against a back drop of anxiety. Feel anxious and do it anyway!

@Wolfiefan

You will be tied to the house. Assume it will all be left to you. Are you working full time? That and a pup could well be a nightmare. I found the puppy stage hard but I love my dogs! TBH whatever you decide I would approach the GP for help with the anxiety. What breed is it and how long have you been waiting OP?

It’s a poodle x and have been considering a dog for a couple of years but didn’t want to rush into it (that’s prob part of the problem…I have over thought it!). No not full time and I work in a college so break up for summer in two weeks.

@joystir59

Are you getting professional help with your anxiety?

No, but reading this back I probably need to!

@mellongoose

Oh and crate him. This will be your saviour over night and short trips to the shop.

Yes have a crate and am planning to use!

@joystir59

Absolutely everything makes me anxious since losing my wife a year ago, but my solution is to get on with things regardless, which lessens my anxiety. I'd be still and silent and petrified every day otherwise. So I work drive shop arrange life's admin etc all against a back drop of anxiety. Feel anxious and do it anyway!

It’s exhausting though isn’t it?

So you definitely won’t be sent away for the next few weeks? I am a MASSIVE overthinker. I found the FB group dog training advice and support really useful. Plus breeder should be advising you on food etc.

Do seek help OP. I’ve gone from panic attack sort of anxiety to being fine!! CBT and medication have helped hugely.
Crates can be useful but look at that FB page. It’s not a case of putting pup in and shutting the door.

Sounds to me like it’s not a good idea to get this pup. They are really hard work and you haven’t even got him yet but are still over-thinking! I think it will only aggravate your anxiety, an older dog might suit more?

If the thought of caring for the dog is this overwhelming to you , then I really don't think getting a puppy at this time is for you.

@Wolfiefan

So you definitely won’t be sent away for the next few weeks? I am a MASSIVE overthinker. I found the FB group dog training advice and support really useful. Plus breeder should be advising you on food etc.

Yes will be here for next two months, hence why we’ve waiting until this point. I have done all the reading etc but still feel woefully unprepared

@Mrstreehouse

Sounds to me like it’s not a good idea to get this pup. They are really hard work and you haven’t even got him yet but are still over-thinking! I think it will only aggravate your anxiety, an older dog might suit more?

Yes this is my main concern. I do panic about a lot of stuff and when it actually happens it’s fine. I’m just so churned up.

Puppies ARE hard work and there were times when we got our boy I thought why (he would nip me but nobody else!)
Embrace the mess - soon you won't notice it!
But you will with him f/t over summer and that will make a difference!
Do you have somewhere in the house he can go if you (and he!) need a break - make sure the crate is big enough for him as he grows - it will be his 'safe' space.
Ours used it for years (with the door off eventually!)
Good Luck!

We are on this journey, I am also worried that it will be hard, but anything worthwhile is worth the effort.

We had a very difficult year as a family and everyone is damaged but I think having something to work together on will be immensely beneficial.

I am trying to think of the worst scenarios and they are all doable.

Only you know if you can cope op.

I got a puppy with zero forward planning (when I was 22) and it was absolutely fine and she was the light of my life. But I don’t think that’s a good idea either

Not to add more anxiety, but to just give a round picture, I found the teenage years far worse than puppyhood. It felt like all the effort I’d put in was pointless because she just ignored everything and was a terror. But we came through it again.

Personally I’d probably leave it for a year or two, and sign up to Borrow my Doggy so you can experience having a dog without the commitment. Perhaps that will help?

Can you try and think of solutions for the things your anxious about?
Like do you have somewhere you can leave pup in an emergency like daycare, family?
Can you have a talk with your partner and get his commitment to various things?
Does you child know how to react if pup does x,y, z etc?
Anxiety is truly awful, you have my sympathies.

You will be tied to the house for the next few weeks, that's the reality of having a pup. At the time I hated it but now dog is older it's a distant memory and such a short period of time.

Puppies are hard work- like kids are.
We do it because we love them, which does make it all easier