12 weeks ago we had to have our 9 yr old Yorkie put to sleep. She had an inoperable liver tumour which had grown to a massive size within a week of diagnosis. She also had pancreatitis, anaemia and had begun to have seizures. We were absolutely devastated but took the decision to euthanise rather than run the risk of a major rupture at home and her be in so much pain.
I am still crying nearly every day about her. My mother in law died last year of pancreatic cancer and we cared for her in the hospice for a few days before she died. Yet, my grief for my dog is in a different league. I’m guessing that as we had a year to get used to the idea of losing my MIL and we saw her passing as a blessing for her in the end, that is why the grief isn’t as bad. Plus she didn’t live with us so i didn’t notice the big hole left by her dying.
My DH is missing our dog, my kids talk about the happy memories they have of her, but I’m the only one who seems to still be devastated. We won’t be having another dog, we want to be free to go out on day trips etc without worrying about dog friendly places or a dog sitter. I really can’t see us being able to face having another dog for quite a while anyway.
All I’m posting for really is to find reassurance that the way I’m feeling is quite normal. For context, I’m a SAHM and my dog was my constant companion and she was very much my dog. I was the one she sought out for company, she would look for me if I’d been upstairs too long or if I went in the garden. I feel I’ve lost my shadow. How long will it take start thinking of her without crying??