My gorgeous boy went over the rainbow bridge

[Roonerspismed]

...he was a gorgeous, gentle giant of a dog. A softie with our DCs but also a dignified magnificent dog with the heart of a lion

I have other dogs. But I’m broken. I have an enormous hole in my heart.

When does this feeling ease?

I’m a bit woo- has anyone felt their dog come back to them? A fleeting vision?

Thanks

Sorry you've lost your boy. I know that feeling, and it does get better, eventually. But it hurts like hell if it's your special dog. Not me, but a friend's special dog died recently. His body was in her conservatory overnight. She had a friend round that evening and they both heard him bark and scratch at the door to be let in, she said.

Thanks anna - yes the special dog vit is what hurts the most.

That’s lovely about your friend. I really hope for similar

@Roonerspismed hi op I know this feeling very well it's unbelievably heartbreaking, it was my boys 1 year anniversary yesterday, he was a big gentle giant, as stupidly beautiful as they come, he had big eyes that looked like pots of honey & gold I miss him terribly!
So I'm offering you a handhold and some 💐 it's bloody hard!
Also I've heard my boy getting off the bed a few times, I thought it was my mind trying to play some sort of comfort trick, but then my mum heard it too and I knew it was him, I'll sometimes get a smell of popcorn too (his popcorn smelling feet were my favourite)

Thanks feb my heart goes out to you. It’s such an empty feeling. I really hope our doggies come back for a visit. Im praying mine does.

We had him put down and I feel like I killed my best friend. As odd as that sounds. He trusted me completely and I hope I made the right call.

All dogs are special, but if you’re lucky, you find you’re sharing your life with a truly special dog. My huge, shaggy, gentle, kind, clever doodle dog died a year ago. She taught me so much and left a large hole in my life.

Yes, I ‘saw’ her running with my other dogs on regular walks. I’d catch sight of her in the kitchen, then see the space where she should have been.
Yes it does get easier and I’m sure you’ll always feel so lucky to have shared your life with such a special dog

Thanks lots yes I need to move to gratitude from this feeling.

I will look carefully the next few days. The thought that might happen to me lifts my spirits.

Your dog sounds adorable - same type as mine. Gorgeous dogs

@Roonerspismed I had to have my big boy put to sleep also, it was the kindest thing I've ever done for him I think, it was his time and his quality of life was nil
A couple of months previous I found a lump on his rib, we went to the vets and found out it was cancer nothing could be done, so I took him home to give him the best time we had left, one morning he couldn't get up to go outside for his morning wee and to chase the birds and refused to eat, I spent the day with him on the floor and slept next to him all night and I remember him looking at me with his gorgeous eyes and it was like he was asking me to help him, so that's what we did, I probably should have taken him the morning he couldn't get up but I think I was trying to keep him with me for as long as possible and wasn't ready to let him go😢

So sorry op, it does ease and you have fond memories. I have other dogs also, you have to prepare for the next one sadly.

I am so sorry … I fu d that it hurts like hell but does ease over time x

Find!

Lots of love to those who have gone through this. It’s so shit!

I now have guilt I didn’t lie with him last night. That he was in pain.

I am so sorry for your loss.

I lost my boy a year ago this month and it floored me like no other I’d lost before (and I have had a lot of dogs over the years). The loss of any dog leaves a hole that can never be filled, but some, the really special ones that touch your soul, leave a gaping wound that takes a lot longer to learn to live with. It does get easier, but you have to allow yourself time and space and be kind to yourself.

Please don’t blame yourself. He trusted you and you honoured his trust by making the hardest possible decision, one that came from a place of love and wanting what was best for him. You put his needs over your own feelings, there is no greater demonstration of love than that. Fwiw, we made the decision not to pts, because the vets told us we wouldn’t be allowed in with him and he was terrified of the vets. We just couldn’t have handed him over to strangers in a place he was terrified of. He then died suddenly in my arms a few days later. It was quick and painless and he wouldn’t have known anything about it, but I still question whether we did the right thing by him. I think no matter what we do, that feeling is always going to be there, but ultimately we all make these choices out of love, with their welfare as our guide.

I kept thinking I saw his head pop around the kitchen door staring at me and had some really vivid dreams of catching sight of him and following him. Thought I was going bonkers and in my quest to work it out came across Danielle MacKinnon’s Youtube Channel. I found her videos really comforting and felt I started to heal a little better once I’d watched a few.

@Roonerspismed you gave him love and kindness and comfort his whole entire life, you were his best friend and he yours
Never feel guilty 💐

I cannot tell you how much your posts have helped me. The kindness of strangers. I shall watch that youtube video too.

Thank you so much

I have woken feeling utterly bereft. I don’t know what is wrong with me.

I am tortured that it was too soon. That I should have waited. My daughter was finishing school and it was more rushed than I wanted and now I feel so sad in case he picked up on that. But he was in real pain. The vet was very young and I’m now worried that more could have been done.

I feel like I have betrayed my best boy but perhaps it’s normal.

Hey, he was in pain, you provided the last act of kindness, this will get easier over time. I had to make the same call with my DDog, the emptiness is up there with losing a close family member / friend, they are such a big part of your family and leave a gaping hole, I think about her everyday since (5 years)she was irreplaceable, we have another DDog who is very sweet and I love her to bits but I miss my darling girl, I too wondered if I’d made the correct call but I look back at photos of when she was getting old and know that I did. I can see the deterioration in these photos which I couldn’t see at the time. My vet advised me it was the right time to let her go, any good vet will let you know when the time has come. 💐

Thanks fast. Do you think some dogs just touch our hearts a little more?

If I can get to the stage of thinking fondly of him daily that will be good.

I have felt less pain losing family members and friends and I feel the only place I can admit that is anonymously

The dog I had when I was a child died when I was 19 (almost 20 years ago) and even though Ive had other dogs my heart still aches for her.

I swear she did come back, I heard her breathing (big snore type breathing) next to my bed a few times after she had gone, like she was still there lying at my feet or on the rug next to the bed. People will say I'm mad I don't care, I heard it.

So sorry
After we lost our beautiful rescue girl many years ago,my mother swears she heard her nails on the kitchen tiles many times.

For a few months after my my ddog left too early (a car accident) I would wake up in the middle of the night and feel her cuddling up to me (she used to sleep on the bed)

I have had many foster dogs and this one was definitely special, I loved the others with all my heart but this one touched me in a way I didn’t think possible

I was devastated when she died, all I did for a week was lay in bed, cry and look back at old pictures and videos

It does get better, but I still miss her everyday

Hopefully she is up there playing with your dog now and having the best time!

It is years since I lost rescue Sheldog.

I can think of her with a smile now but i can still cry if I let myself.

I dont believe my heart has ever felt the same since she left. The other dogs I had awere and are my world. I adored them.

But she was my everything.

I know that sounds terribly dramatic. Sorry.

But I know how you are feeling. And it hurts. 🌻

Thanks sheldon. Jeez. She sounds amazing. 🌸 I’m so sorry. I now get this. The pain is utterly raw. I have been howling. I hope one day I can also smile.

She was my little ‘stop all the clocks* girl.

The pain is as raw now as it ever was but I promise you, the happy memories do take over.

And for another film reference ‘laughter through tears is my favourite emotion’ (truvy/dolly in steel magnolias)

It really is. There is happiness and tears and the reminder of that love can be a mix of the two. Happy because you knew them, sad because they’ve gone.

Howl away dearest rooner. I know. So many of us understand.

We love. Our lives are enriched forever cause they padded along by our sides for a while.

I would rather have had her for those short 9 years than ever have had a lifetime without her.

We love.

We pay the price.

Darling it is always always worth it. It is just too soon for you at the moment so howl away. xx

We said goodbye to my darling girl this morning. She was elderly and very poorly but there is a guilt in there too - I know that is daft and the 3 vets she's seen this last week have all said they would have made exactly the same calls if it was their dogs. I'm currently veering between hysterical crying and a weird calmness. Our other dog is so confused.

I desperately hope to see her again. I've lost other dogs and very much had the sense that they have come back now and again. One I kind of tripped over as she was sleeping in the floor in the bedroom a few nights after she died. Another who we lost last year comes back in very vivid dreams. Another sat on my feet at night.

I'm thinking of her running about and chasing squirrels with her friends who she outlived, with no pain and the joy of her younger years. In what will feel like the blink of an eye to her but a lifetime to us she'll look up and see that her people have come to join them.

It does get easier in time, but it's raw and perfectly ok to howl and wail and feel it. Which i'm now doing again x

I’m sorry starry

You describe all I hope for.

To be reunited. 🌻