My gorgeous boy went over the rainbow bridge

[Roonerspismed]

...he was a gorgeous, gentle giant of a dog. A softie with our DCs but also a dignified magnificent dog with the heart of a lion

I have other dogs. But I’m broken. I have an enormous hole in my heart.

When does this feeling ease?

I’m a bit woo- has anyone felt their dog come back to them? A fleeting vision?

Thanks

Your posts have given me huge comfort and I thank you hugely. I have screen shot them lest MN moves them.

I cycled last night on some of our favourite walks and I howled. Utterly howled. I have never done this in life. The pain and loss is deep and visceral. I replay over and over what happened and what I could have done differently and only my DCs or other dogs bring me back to present

I’m trying to quieten my mind. I haven’t felt him yet but I cancelled his pet insurance this morning on my phone. It was a lovely sunny early morning and I sat just outside the house and as I pressed the cancel button, a little grey fluffy bird feather floated down from the sky and landed on my chest. It was sweet. Probably a coincidence but I pocketed that feather and smiled a little

I send you all the love as you feel the same pain. It’s like a tender club of broken hearts I have joined. But I know I’m lucky to have been able to feel love like this even once

I get feathers and rainbows.

I like to think of the feathers as a reminder she is waiting and the rainbows will show the way eventually.

(I know it sounds silly - I do - but I convince myself it is that in my head to feed my hope that one day we will be together)

I wasn’t there when my girl went - I didn’t realise she was dying. The guilt? I can’t measure it.

But I know she was loved. I know she was. I know she had a good life.

It would have been my honour to have seen her on her way but it wasn’t to be. And that will be my burden.

And as I sit here crying at that last day (still the tears) I am glad that that wee dog and I found each other.

I howl by your side - knowing how lucky we were really. Even though it doesn’t always feel that way.

With much love. And a fat bosie through the ether. x

Do you think feathers mean that? I have heard it so often yet there are birds in my garden. I haven’t felt him yet. I just haven’t. He was the kind of dog that would look for me every ten seconds on a walk. If he can find a way back to me, I know he will.

I keep replaying the moment he went in my head; over and over. In a way I wish I hadn’t seen it - I can understand the guilt you have but you mustn’t - it’s the lifetime of love that is the important bit. I have utterly beaten myself up for not doing things differently his last day - I didn’t realise it was his last day. But I have to stop the guilt as it is torture.

I share your hope of being reunited. I feel sure we all will. Until then, we can howl. I understand. Maybe we are privileged that we do - we have felt the love of these amazing creatures. Much love

I keep hearing about feathers. I’d like to think it was a sign. (I’ll keep convincing myself it is true)

I feel robbed and cheated over the last day. I feel I let her down. I know in my heart that her life of love cancelled that day out. Still though.

I’m sure you couldn’t have done things differently either. Hindsight is a grand but cruel thing.

I haven’t ‘felt’ my girl. I like to think she is having too much fun to come back. I do hope so. Her soul was the most beautiful soul I’ve known.

May she be capering with your boy and keeping him company till we get there.

I know it sounds fanciful. But I hope that is the case.

Your pain is only equal to the love you gave him. He sounds as though he was a lucky boy. 🐾 🐾

So much pain on some of these threads. But what it also shows is that there are many people willing to give so much love to another creature. That can only ever be a good thing.

So sorry op. We lost our 15 year old dog last week and so I know how you are feeling. I'm totally heartbroken 💔 today is the first day I've not sobbed. I keep torturing myself with looking at his videos and last pics I took of him before we took him. I cut a lock of his hair and can't stop looking at it. It's so hard isn't it.

It wasn't very straightforward when we took him to be pts as I asked for sedation due to him being an anxious dog and they gave him a bit too much and couldn't then find a vein. So they had to bring him back round a bit then do it in his jugular. They wouldn't let me be with him for that so I had to say goodbye whilst he slept.

Tan

Thinking of you. And your lad🌻
It took me over a year to look at her videos without sobbing like a seal. I still looked though. I know what you mean by it being a kind of torture.

We are fortunate that we have so many memories so easily accessible though I know (I do) that it is hard to look at them without breaking a bit.

I still can’t touch her hair. I fear I would lose myself.

I’m such a nippy sweetie but get me on animals and I’m a marshmallow.

itsnotmeitsu your post gladdened my bitter wizened auld heart. 💜

I think my dog came back to me once. I was in his favourite park and I know he was there, walking next me .

chardonnay 🐾 🐾 💕

Thank you.

It was a very bittersweet feeling.

Sending love to you all. I think we all get it. It’s comforting to me in an odd way that my grief is normal.

I ran in the rain this morning. I wondered if he ran along side. He loved the rain and would lollop around with a big grin

tan that’s tough and I’m sorry. I’m sobbing with you xx

It's over 3 years since I lost my lovely, gorgeous dog, and reading all these posts has started the tears off again. Although I have a new dog, who I love to bits, I can never forget her! The overwhelming feeling of sadness and loss is awful to begin with, but it will start to lessen, and happy memories will make you smile.