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The doghouse

If you're worried about your pet's health, please speak to a vet or qualified professional.

I think my dog is a human

30 replies

LeopardSheet · 22/04/2021 20:53

Disclaimer-I am fully aware that my dog is an animal and I think I do a pretty good job of understanding his behaviour/body language and making sure his needs are met. I find it sad when people talk about “fur babies” and treat dogs like children at a detriment to their welfare needs.

That said, as a family we imagine our dog as a human with a personality and a voice (Scottish accent due to his breed). It started as a joke but we constantly speak in his voice/narrate what he would be saying about situations. As he’s a rescue, we joke that he’s a middle aged bloke who’s wife finally left him after putting up with his lazy behaviour/poor hygiene/fact that he’s only interested in ball games. So he came to live as a bit of a weird lodger with us. The back story is pretty detailed and I think we’ve captured his personality/who he would be as a human pretty well to the point where I almost have to remind myself that the little wolf like animal living in my house actually doesn’t speak/have any of the opinions we assign to him.

Anyone else do this or are we completely insane/been in lockdown far too long (although we did this with last dog too-Hungarian rescue with a voice like the car insurance meerkat).

OP posts:
Lelophants · 22/04/2021 20:55

This is hilarious! Insane imo but also no harm in it Grin

IthinkIsawahairbrushbackthere · 22/04/2021 21:18

Our oldest dog, a rather hesitant retriever cross, is slightly camp. Very much like John LeMesurier and if he could talk he would speak like him "Would you mind awfully if I moved that cushion so I can sit on the sofa please?"

Then we have a husky who is very much like "Just William" as read by Martin Jarvis: "It's not blooming fair! I only had one biscuit and I know he had two. He did!"

The puppy is still a bit young to have settled for certain into his voice but at the moment it is quite breathy and excitable or a bit thuggish - especially when he is following the husky round the garden and swaggering because he may only be 8" tall but his big brother is the boss of the gang, right, and he will sort you out, he will.

JayAlfredPrufrock · 22/04/2021 21:20

Oh yes. And with the horses too.

MysweetAudrina · 22/04/2021 21:26

Since lockdown 80% of my narrative is on behalf of the dog and 3 cats. Myself and dd talk for hours in their voices.

0ntheg0again · 23/04/2021 08:55

This is so funny! We don't do it to that extent but our one is definitely an Irish devil who is a wimp but thinks he's all hard and would start fights in the pub and then scarper pretty quickly Smile

BiteyShark · 23/04/2021 08:58

Yes we do this Blush

What is worse is that 'we' converse with him when on walks and forget that somethings people can hear Grin

WankmasterBastardDeLaShithead · 23/04/2021 09:11

Our cat is a rescue from Bulgaria, and speaks with an Eastern European agent. We're pretty sure he's actually a Soviet spy.

Rhannion · 23/04/2021 09:14

We do the same. Our beautiful irish wolfhound who sadly died last year, sounded like Liam Neeson, our rescue girl sounds like Jenny Agutter, refined and warm, and our rescue boy sounds like Kevin the teenager at the moment. Our cat sounds like Paul O’Grady!

Rhannion · 23/04/2021 09:15

And that’s Jenny Agutter on tv now!

GiveMyHeadPeaceffs · 23/04/2021 09:19

I have 2 fluffy cats, 1 loves me and the other not so much...the other cat often tells me to fuck off in a weird, squeaky voice Grin

Pinkywoo · 23/04/2021 09:38

I had a massive lurcher who had the voice of Alan Rickman as the sheriff of Nottingham. He would glare at us and say "do you mind? Some of us are trying to sleep here" before doing a dramatic sigh and flopping back down on the bed/sofa.

SSwimCycle21 · 23/04/2021 10:21

This is hilarious and I love it. We’ve not got a voice yet but definitely “looks”. We have a one year old LabX who gives us looks which we think of as either in her full granny disapproving stare or she’s in full on zoomie hypo pre-schooler mode who clearly knows she’s done something naughty Grin I will know think about adding a voice in my head...

Catname · 23/04/2021 10:56

We took in a ginger tomcat who was living rough for at least 2 years before he trusted us (and he wasn’t supposed to stay after he was neutered but he had other ideas) and we called him Ginge.

When he became a permanent resident, we tried out other names. He has a kinked whisker which made me think that he was French and should be called Claude but it didn’t stick as a name, however the idea that he is a French lothario has and so I pronounce his name Jean-jer and talk to him in a pretend French accent 😻

Ladymouse · 23/04/2021 11:42

I thought we were the only ones 😁 my children think its hysterical and join in now. One of my dogs has a thing for shaking her head so when we ask her questions and "she's " talking back if she shakes her head it means no to the kids.

LeopardSheet · 23/04/2021 12:03

Yay glad it’s not just me! Who needs human friends eh

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ohsuzannah · 23/04/2021 13:51

My ( adult) dd does the voices for our three miniature dachshunds, they all have distinct personalities and our boy Alfie is spoilt by the two girls and takes advantage!
Cheers up my day all the time 😂

PandaLady · 23/04/2021 14:24

My rescue pug is my soul mate and we have found each other after years of being apart. He is very needy like me and thinks I have genius ideas. He is always telling me I am amazing and even when I fuck up, he says isn't my fault because I am wonderful.

The feeling is mutual.

TheDogsMother · 23/04/2021 14:38

We always imagined that our very entitled Jack Russell had the voice of the baby (Stewie Griffin) in Family Guy. A British/Bostonian accent, impatient, intolerant, superior.

We were a pair of plebs put on this earth to serve the Russler's needs. It's a year tomorrow since he died and we both miss him so much.

GameofPhones · 23/04/2021 14:47

These are hilarious. With mine, I haven't got beyond translating certain grunts, such as before feeding him) as meaning 'and about time too'.

LeopardSheet · 23/04/2021 15:07

A relative also used to have a dog with a welsh accent who was exactly like Bryn from gavin and Stacey who didn’t trust the hoover or microwave or motor bikes

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Justlovedogs · 23/04/2021 15:16

I have found my people! Grin
Our first GSD, Max, had an alter ego called Michael Schumaxi. He drove an F1 car for Ferrari, complete with slots I the top of his crash helmet to accommodate his very pointy ears...
All our others have had distinct personalities and we have 'conversations' with them.

imovethestarsforno1 · 23/04/2021 20:21

yeah i do this star pup has a squeaky essex voice at the moment but as he grows he'll morph into ray winstone the cat has a russian accent and thinks the dog is a melt

Floralchickens · 24/04/2021 09:09

Yes we do this too with our rescue dog Grin the other day, he was sitting while watching us eat then kept standing up and then resitting while not taking his eyes off us, so DH and I narrated a little sketch of him saying ‘please, floral chicken look at me, I sit so nicely, I think it’s my best sit, please reward me’ , my daughter looked at DH and i and declared us weird and was very thankful that her friends can’t come round at the moment Grin

pigsDOfly · 24/04/2021 16:15

Oh god yes.

My dog is a small fluffy thing - although, she's definitely not my 'fur baby' - and has a little girl type voice that started when she was a puppy and which, for some awful reason, I can't seem to ditch, despite that fact that she's now 10 years old and becoming quite bossy.

I also do the conversation thing when I'm out with my her and will suddenly realise that people can hear me. Fortunately, I live in a fairly quiet place so often no one's around, thankfully.

HappyThursdays · 24/04/2021 16:32

Ours is very much a dog but he is a dog with a Michael Caine voice. He strolls around London like he owns the place.

He's always coming up with great ideas which we don't carry out much to his frustration (Italian job) and when he sniffs out something new and looks pleased with himself, he always says 'not many people know that'.

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