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The doghouse

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Original poster

Introducing a puppy to grumpy adult

50 replies

Thepuppyiscoming · 15/04/2021 21:11

He’s going to be here soon!
But I’m starting to get a bit nervous about introducing to our current dog...

So, current dog is 8 and she isn’t what I would call ‘friendly’.
I wouldn’t say she is dangerous or properly aggressive either though.
She’s intolerant and grouchy imo

If given space to do so, 9 times out of 10 she chooses to avoid other dogs.
If other dogs approach her she tends to approach them all high tailed, sometimes she’s fine, sometimes she’ll growl and air snap at them.
Sometimes she won’t even approach, she’ll just straight up growl or lip curl at them.
Sometimes she is absolutely fine and has a little game of chase but generally, she doesn’t interact nicely with other dogs.

The few times she has met very bouncy puppies on walks she has been incredibly air snappy at them.
Happy to walk with them but ignores them entirely and snaps if they dare try and interact with her.

I did have a relatives older puppy in the house once, he was around 16 weeks old and pestered her relentlessly hanging off her tail and nipping her ankles.
She was happy to ignore the pup and play with her ball, happy for the pup to make off with her toys and happy to sit next to the puppy and eat treats together but instant growls and air snaps when the pup actually tried to interact with her.

My DH isn’t worried in the slightest but I am.
The puppy is a breed considerably smaller than she is and I’m worried she’ll hate him?
Also worried incase she injures him?

Am I worrying unnecessarily?

I am planning to intervene frequently and not let the puppy harass her too much, I have a pen coming where the puppy can sleep and play away from her for a lot of the day.

OP posts:
idontlikealdi · 15/04/2021 21:17

I'm sorry but why did you think now was a good time to get a puppy?

I've got a somewhat cantankerous (but gorgeous) old boy and he would not tolerate a pup one bit. Sil is desperate to socialise her pup but we've said no for now it would be not a lot of fun for anyone.

candlemasbells · 15/04/2021 21:21

I think you’ll have to keep them apart as much as possible.
Let them spend time together when pup is really tired so unlikely to be bouncy or interactive.

Original poster
Thepuppyiscoming · 15/04/2021 21:26

I'm sorry but why did you think now was a good time to get a puppy?
My youngest is going to school this September and is much more manageable, the dog does sometimes (not often granted) gel with other dogs and has a lovely time playing with them and I thought It would be nice for her to have that with a permanent friend..

I've got a somewhat cantankerous (but gorgeous) old boy and he would not tolerate a pup one bit. Sil is desperate to socialise her pup but we've said no for now it would be not a lot of fun for anyone.

OP posts:
bookworm1632 · 15/04/2021 21:53

@Thepuppyiscoming

He’s going to be here soon! But I’m starting to get a bit nervous about introducing to our current dog...

So, current dog is 8 and she isn’t what I would call ‘friendly’.
I wouldn’t say she is dangerous or properly aggressive either though.
She’s intolerant and grouchy imo

If given space to do so, 9 times out of 10 she chooses to avoid other dogs.
If other dogs approach her she tends to approach them all high tailed, sometimes she’s fine, sometimes she’ll growl and air snap at them.
Sometimes she won’t even approach, she’ll just straight up growl or lip curl at them.
Sometimes she is absolutely fine and has a little game of chase but generally, she doesn’t interact nicely with other dogs.

The few times she has met very bouncy puppies on walks she has been incredibly air snappy at them.
Happy to walk with them but ignores them entirely and snaps if they dare try and interact with her.

I did have a relatives older puppy in the house once, he was around 16 weeks old and pestered her relentlessly hanging off her tail and nipping her ankles.
She was happy to ignore the pup and play with her ball, happy for the pup to make off with her toys and happy to sit next to the puppy and eat treats together but instant growls and air snaps when the pup actually tried to interact with her.

My DH isn’t worried in the slightest but I am.
The puppy is a breed considerably smaller than she is and I’m worried she’ll hate him?
Also worried incase she injures him?

Am I worrying unnecessarily?

I am planning to intervene frequently and not let the puppy harass her too much, I have a pen coming where the puppy can sleep and play away from her for a lot of the day.

We had this - the dog whisperer said we'd let our dog develop the belief that it was its job to guard us - hence it saw other dogs as a potential threat.

But he was always fine with puppies - he'd deal with them if they got too annoying, but never in an aggressive manner - the dog equivalent of a clip round the ear.

Your case may be different though.

Original poster
Thepuppyiscoming · 15/04/2021 21:59

But he was always fine with puppies - he'd deal with them if they got too annoying, but never in an aggressive manner - the dog equivalent of a clip round the ear
But that’s the thing, when does it slip into ‘aggression’?

I’ve been reading a lot about this and I am so confused, a lot of sites say it’s normal for the dog to hate the puppy initially, that they may growl or the pin the puppy to teach the puppy manners?

I was thinking that if she was truly aggressive she wouldn’t have been sitting happily next to my BIL’s 16 weeker for example taking it in turns to eat biscuits?
Nor been entirely unbothered about him pinching and making off with her toys?

My main feeling is that she is going to be thoroughly unpleasant initially but they will be friends when the puppy behaves more calmly around her, but then I’m getting worried incase she outright despises him and they never become friends! Or if she hurts him.

OP posts:
sunflowersandbuttercups · 16/04/2021 07:19

If my dog snarled and air snapped at puppies, there's no way I'd introduce once into the house. It's not fair on the dog or the puppy imo, and if you need to separate them long-term you'll find it very stressful.

ShesMadeATwatOfMePam · 16/04/2021 07:29

Sounds like a very silly idea to get a puppy if your dog is that anti social. Your responsibility is to the dog you've already got.

Howmercurialislife · 16/04/2021 07:35

I had a thread on this a while back eldest dog was 4 when we got a puppy in October.

Dog hated puppy and would not tolerate him at all. We kept them separate for a long time, I started a thread for advice as I was at my wits end with it.

Puppy has been with us 6 months now and it has taken all this time for them to start to get along. They are still not best mates and that may never happen but I don't worry about pup and know big dog wouldn't hurt him.

For a long time though I felt like I had mad a massive mistake. I hope you have a better experience than us.

Howmercurialislife · 16/04/2021 07:43

Sorry DDog was 3 not 4, had some good advice on my thread if it doesn't all go to plan!

Original poster
Thepuppyiscoming · 16/04/2021 07:45

It all seems very conflicting.
On one side everyone here saying not to get the puppy and on the other side so many websites and other forum posts I’m reading saying it’s quite normal for dogs to not like puppies at first, to correct them for jumpy behaviour etc, to growl and air snap and even pin puppies.
I don’t quite know what to think frankly.

I do have a pen coming so they can be kept separate a lot of the time, or all of the time if necessary.

All in all, this thread is doing absolutely nothing to quell my anxiety about this and I’m just as confused as I was in the beginning as to what constitutes ‘normal’ adult dog behaviour to puppies.

OP posts:
beginningoftheend · 16/04/2021 07:48

I think you'll just have to suck it and see now. I'm another wondering about the choice but it might go ok.

Chunkymenrock · 16/04/2021 07:51

Do not force this puppy onto the older dog or allow it into its space. It needs to be able to interact in its own time, at its own pace. Its incredibly stressful for the poor old thing. I'm absolutely disgusted that you let a previous puppy hang off its ears etc. You are forcing your older dog into a situation it cannot cope with. This is just awful. Very short interactions on neutral territory to start with.

Forestdweller11 · 16/04/2021 07:53

Facebook dog training advice and support has information about successful introductions. You need to keep them totally separate to start with - use room dividers/baby gates etc. Walk, feed, play separately. Do not give the new puppy any chance to make your existing dog's life a misery. The puppy needs to have all it's needs met by the humans not the existing dog. They might not be friends ever.

Mabelene · 16/04/2021 07:59

We got a pup when our older dog was 4, having been one of a pack of 4 we thought he’d be fine with a pup. We were wrong

He hated him on sight and we had to keep them separate for 18 months. With very gentle introductions for short periods every day (either side of a stair gate) and lots of treats for positive interactions. We still had a few very hairy moments, especially as the pup got older and more sure of himself

They are now 10 and 6, and although much better, they are only together in the garden or kitchen, not the rest of the house. It’s been difficult and I’m not sure we should have persevered, but we did, as we’re not in the U.K., both were rescues and there is a huge problem of stray and street dogs here.

This was all without knowing there was a possible problem, I’m not sure I’d be going ahead if I knew that the older dog was grouchy around pups

Good luck

Mabelene · 16/04/2021 08:02

the dog does sometimes (not often granted) gel with other dogs

This bit sticks out for me. Just why?

Original poster
Thepuppyiscoming · 16/04/2021 08:03

I'm absolutely disgusted that you let a previous puppy hang off its ears etc
Tbf, i instigated a game of chase with a ball precisely because the puppy was hanging off her tail etc.
My dog was happy to chase her ball, she was made to sit so they could take turns and the puppy could play too and was happy to do that and let the puppy play with the ball too.

They were also asked to sit next to each other for treats which again my dog was happy to do.
I did that again, because the puppy was harassing her.

Our house is open plan, I didn’t know BIL was bringing the puppy and had absolutely nowhere to separate them as I had no pen (it is coming), no crate as my dog hasn’t used one in years, no baby gates

OP posts:
sunflowersandbuttercups · 16/04/2021 08:20

If your house is open plan, how will you manage to separate the puppy from your current dog?

Corncorncorn · 16/04/2021 08:24

This seems very unfair on your current dog to be honest. And the puppy.
Can you get the smell on his favourite things before meeting?. Take it very gradually in neutral territory, don't just leave them to it.
Scatter treats and lots of praise for good interaction. Good luck.

Veterinari · 16/04/2021 08:41

Has your current dog been checked for arthritis and dental disease? Both can cause chronic pain which can exacerbate any grumpyness.

I find your reasons for wanting a puppy odd. You say it's to provide a playmate for your existing dog but your existing dog is getting older, is probably reducing activity/playfulness and dislikes puppies so doesn't want to interact with them. Getting a puppy seems like a strange choice if you are genuinely intending to meet the needs of your existing dog.

You need to be prepared that this may not work out and think about what you would do if it doesn't. Will you allow your dog to live stressed and miserable in his twilight years to accommodate the puppy?

What breeds are the two dogs?
How will you keep them separate and introduce them?
How will you ensure that your existing dog doesn't lose human attention and affection when the puppy comes?

Dodie66 · 16/04/2021 08:45

My neighbour got a puppy and her older dog hated it so much and kept attacking it that they had to rehome the puppy after a week. Why would you get a puppy when you dog is so grumpy

userxx · 16/04/2021 08:52

Why would you do that to your older dog? Poor sod.

Ihaventgottimeforthis · 16/04/2021 09:01

Plan for the worst (they will never get along & you need to manage them as two individual solo dogs) & hope for the best, really.
Don't disrupt your dogs routine, keep puppy seperated, first few introductions on neutral territory? Tricky pre vax, perhaps garden?
Good luck!!

Original poster
Thepuppyiscoming · 16/04/2021 09:15

If your house is open plan, how will you manage to separate the puppy from your current dog?
Pen and crate.

OP posts:
mintbiscuit · 16/04/2021 09:17

I think you need to be really honest with yourself on why you want this puppy. As a PP said, your dog is getting to the point where he really won’t be interested in a playmate or companion.

You are potentially adding a LOT of unnecessary stress to your family life and to your dog’s. It could be months or years before older dog tolerates the younger one. Is that fair on your dog’s last years?

I think you are right to be cautious and questioning if this is the right thing to be doing.

Wegobshite · 16/04/2021 09:17

Most adult dogs are fine with puppy’s . They know they are puppies and will generally tolerate the puppy’s stupidness.
They will snap and growl but it’s rare for them to attack and generally they teach the puppy doggy manners .
However I would get a crate and try to create a separate area so that the older dog has time to chill
Will say though this is just my experience 😂