Advice please - 11 month old cockapoo resource guarding becoming unmanageable

[Scarlet14]

@pleasedoone I've just been reading various threads as we're really at out wits end about our cockapoo and your message stood out as being a very similar situation to ours. We have a very beautiful cockapoo girl who's now 11 months old. We absolutely love her to bits and 90% of the time she's a total sweetheart - but she can also be very bad for resource guarding and it's getting pretty unmanageable. Things started to escalate a few months ago when she started getting snappy, snarly when we asked her to do things she didn't want to do or to let go of things and then things progressed to her biting me/the kids a few times with no obvious warning (i've since learnt a lot about dog behaviour and understand there may well have been subtle signs we didn't pick up on) which was unnerving. On one occasion she properly broke the skin and bit repetitively (just on me thankfully not the kids) We got a dog behaviourist involved pretty early on and she's brilliant and giving us lots of ideas on how to control the situation although she said from the off that given the severity of the situation it may be that we'd need to look at her living in a different environment/without kids etc. Implementing all the things she's suggested - no-one's been bitten for a few weeks - but we're also leading quite a restricted life. The dog's only allowed in one room (she started resource guarding various places around the house) no-one picks her up ever, the kids aren't allowed to cuddle her or put their faces at their level (they're 10 and 12 so are able to be pretty sensible although not all the time) & we're all pretty nervous around her all the time to be honest. You don't know if you're going to get waggy tail or snarl/snap. It can change in a second either way.

We thought we were on an equilibrium but the last few days things have really escalated again - she's started resource guarding the whole kitchen quite often, so we can't come in to make lunch/dinner etc (the behaviourist tells us to back off when she's like that and give her space) so we've been having food upstairs/watching tv upstairs etc. On one day she made it out of the kitchen by accident and set up camp in one of her spots in the hall and absolutely wouldn't let me come anywhere near - which meant i couldn't get back to my office to work - for over 3 hours. Tonight - she was dozy in the kitchen and i think i startled her and she just went for me - bit my foot hard a few times - i had big boots on so was fine but feel incredibly worried about what would have happened if that was one of the kids in their slippers. Half an hour later she did the same to my husband as he had to go into the kitchen to lock the door and despite entering very slowly with head down, no eye contact etc and him not actually approaching her at all, she came and went for him and bit his foot again. I can't bear the thought of her living elsewhere - i'm sure tomorrow morning she'll be waggy tail and our beautiful girl again - but it's really stressful living here at the moment and i'm worried for the kids and also post lockdown for the kids friends coming over - sure we can try and keep everyone separate but the whole point of having a dog was for the kids to be able to enjoy her. Any advice/thoughts gratefully received - we're all pretty stressed and can't think straight on it all anymore.

Honestly - and in full expectation of a flaming - a dog who has no bite inhibition, is keeping you prisoner in your own home and is at risk of seriously harming a member of your family cannot be sent to live elsewhere and if meaningful progress is not made between a behaviourist and veterinary advice you do need to consider the possibility of euthanasia.

I have a poodle cross who is two. He does occasionally get very irate with the cat for sitting on a certain spot on the sofa he considers his but otherwise we haven't noticed any aggression or reactiveness over territory or food or toys.
I can only say how we have got to this stage rather than how you can remedy this situation, but maybe that will shed some light?

Food. We always feed the dog by hand as well as in his bowl. We let him take treats or bits of kibble from our hands. We add food whilst he is eating so he associates good things with us coming near him, not that we will remove food or disturb him eating.
We never take a toy or anything from him without giving him something else in exchange.
We never expect him to come or go without reward, in voice tone or physical reward like a treat for coming in or sitting in his basket or moving from one place to another. We never ask him to stop without making a positive association with the thing we want him to DO.

We play lots of tuggy games with him snarling and playfighting. We initiate these games rather than letting him bring the toy to us. We hide tuggy toys balls unless we want to play.

Another thing I have remembered is that when he was younger...ten months? he did used to get upset and reactive if we told him off or were stern, and I think it was then we realised it was a big mistake to order him around rather than do everything through routine or positive association.

Does your dog have a crate, a nice roomy covered crate or big comfy dog basket or even favourite sofa where she know she can be undisturbed won't be turfed off? Sleep is very important and overtirednesd can create a nippy reactive wired dog.
Our dog slept 7 till 8am with only short wakeful intervals, after a busy day also with lots of long naps at that age. Lack of sleep could make your dog very tense, wired...no control over impulses etc.

Just in case any of this helps.
Fwiw my dog still nips if he thinks I am not letting him out for an urgent pee. This is bad training on my part but it is the dog's override button...listen or I will nip.

We also play lots of reciprocal "response" games, fetch, throwing in park, find it, exchange at home, "chase me," in park, letting him sit on our lap, head on lap next to us on sofa when he is sleeping so that trust is fostered, (whilst also letting him sleep undisturbed a lot, never sitting in his basket , giving him a separate room to sleep in away from noise, activity.)

@Nettleskeins - thanks for taking the time to reply. We're doing a lot of what you describe and it does all help, we've never shouted or punished her in anyway and with the behaviourist input have done a lot of exchanging for treats, rewarding good etc- and i'm sure it is made worse by tiredness. We have made point of creating a large fenced off area with her favourite dog bed and no-one is allowed to touch her when she's in it/disturb her in any way. It's so hard to judge whether she will eventually grow out of it with enough patience or whether we're mad to keep on trying. Not helped by the fact that i'm more in the give it time camp and my husband is moving firmly into the "we're at the end of the road" camp

Our dog also takes up positions all over the house, that seems pretty normal to me. The whole of downstairs is her territory and keeping her in just one room surely is exacerbating her nerves about what is going on elsewhere - hypervigilance etc, where is family, are there prowlers?

Sorry X post, I meant the keeping her in the kitchen all the time in the day.

@Scarlet14 because she has bitten (twice) today she will be more likely to bite again until she has had time to decompress. I would speak to your behaviourist as soon as possible.

Is your behaviourist a member of the APBC?

I think your husband is right, I’m afraid.

I think you’re the wrong household for her and you cannot change that.

You can’t eat upstairs, be prevented from entering the kitchen or be held hostage in the hall by a dog.

Did she come from a breeder who will help you to rehome? Does the behaviourist have any contacts?

Both cocker spaniels and poodles can be anxious breeds. Cockerpoos therefore can be anxious - lots are lovely family dogs but some just can’t be.

You have children to consider and a dog who is unpredictable and bites frequently.

@Happenchance thanks yes i'm sure you're right - the behaviourist said it can take 72 hours for them to start to get back on an even keel after biting incident..... i am speaking to her hopefully tomorrow - thanks

It sounds awful, and very sad. But I think you need to consider rehoming or, more responsibly, having her put down. It doesn’t sound like any of you, including her, are getting anything positive out of your current situation.

@Nettleskeins - its hard to know re: keeping her in the kitchen (it's a very large kitchen/diner - most of the ground floor in fact, so it's not a small space) TBH when we let her roam free on the ground floor, it was impossible as she'd not let me in/out of my office or the other room on the ground floor and the dog behaviourist thought best to keep her in the kitchen area given she has enough space. So hard to know what the right thing.

Not sure how much time I would be willing to give a dog who bit me repeatedly & prevented me moving round the house & working... Especially with children around.
To me it sounds that without serious intervention there's no reason this will get better on its own...
Where did you get her from OP? Is there a breeder who will take her back?

Hopefully someone will come onto this thread with some more thoughts soon

@NoSquirrels - thanks she came from a lovely breeder who may be able to help - we haven't gone there yet but may have to i guess. She's such a beautiful dog and so good natured with other dogs, other people out and about - we absolutely love walks with her and seeing her bomb round the fields. It's (just!) at home things are difficult.

‘Taking up positions’ and preventing people moving around is not normal dog behaviour.

My mutt ‘takes up positions’ e.g. kitchen doorway when I’m in the kitchen (in case of food), under my desk in the office, next to me on sofa, on hall rug if I’m upstairs- but not to prevent me moving around, just to follow me to be close to the action.

I really think a dog this unstable in behaviour is not suited to a busy household. You can’t completely train her personality out of her, so can you ever be 100% sure she’ll be bombproof with non family members? If she’s just 11 months you haven’t had a normal family life in this period because of the pandemic restrictions but that’s ending now and so potentially this will get more stressful not less.

Would you be able to manage her better ie move her out of the way safely if you kept her on a house line , that way she may be able to have more freedom and be less territorial IYSWIM .

I would call the breeder for a chat too. To see if they have had any other feedback about other litter mates having nervous or resource guarding behaviours, they might also have advice or recommendations.
And if you consider rehoming, the breeder should be your first port of call.

It is tricky because she will pick up on the tension & nervous behaviour in the house & become more stressed.
Do you do much obedience training with her? I'm wondering if building positive bonds & connection in a neutral space in the house will help her feel more confident

We adopted a rescue dog age 1. We expected to have to deal with loads of issues. We were lucky. He's a dream now. He was a bit more work initially while training. But we only had to deal with chewing of the odd shoe, the odd toilet incident, eating out of the bins etc Never anything that concerned us.
Your dog does not sound normal and you can't carry on like that

Honestly?

You can't rehome a dog like that. If would be highly irresponsible and incredibly dangerous. I would seriously be considering having her put to sleep.

Honestly - and in full expectation of a flaming - a dog who has no bite inhibition, is keeping you prisoner in your own home and is at risk of seriously harming a member of your family cannot be sent to live elsewhere and if meaningful progress is not made between a behaviourist and veterinary advice you do need to consider the possibility of euthanasia.

I completely agree and have been exactly where you are, op. To start, I'm a lifelong dog owner so very practised at raising dogs, and nearly 20 years ago I was living the nightmare you are.

We had a dog from puppy hood, he was wonderful and very loved, but when he hit around 10 months there was a total change for the worst. Same issues you're dealing with. My husband and I tried everything, multiple behaviourists, countless consults with our vet, medication, food changes, testing for any illness/allergies, everything you can think of.

After a year of dealing with this and no improvement, things were actually getting worse, our vet said in no uncertain terms that he needed to be put to sleep. Our dog, like yours, was a total liability and it was simply not ethical to rehome a dog with these issues. Sadly, he was a disaster waiting to happen, and he proved it when he attacked my daughter completely unprovoked.

We had him put to sleep and it was definitely the right thing to do. I'm so sorry you're dealing with this, but you can't continue to live this way, and this dog shouldn't be anywhere near children.

This sounds completely unworkable. I think you're in a boiling a frog scenario.

How do you see it improving if you lready can't move freely within the house and are not able to even prepare food let alone eat it in your kitchen?

Unproked biting on multiple occasions - this dog cannot be around children.

I would contact the breeder and make them aware and ask for their thoughts and advice.

This is absolutely not a situation you can continue.

Your husband is right.

I'm surprised you haven't talked to the breeder - you should do that first thing in the morning. A responsible breeder will usually have back a difficult dog and may be able to help with retraining. Certainly the breeder should know about this.

I'm afraid the things you can happily do with her out of the house cannot make up for her being aggressive with you. She could seriously injure your children. However much you love her, you must take on board the seriousness of this. It isn't an acceptable risk.

Having said that, how much can you love a dog who goes for you and your children? It would be natural for you to feel anxious about what's happened with the dog, to question how you've raised her and to worry it's your fault. Maybe your blanket love for her is also because you feel guilty and 'it's not the dog's fault'.

It's never the dog's fault exactly, but still a dog can be too difficult to live with you. This breed can have issues as poodles can be aggressive when nervous, and cocker spaniels very timid. How your dog has developed is very most likely genetic.

Also, consider her hormones. She didn't have these as a puppy. Has she changed as the female hormones have kicked in? Is neutralising them and seeing if she changes an option? Have you spoken to your vet about all this?

Speak to the breeder. Speak to the vet. You need more than the trainer here.

And if the dog is terrorising you in the big room that is most of the ground floor, I would not be letting her have the run of it. Eating upstairs? This can't go on. Can she be corralled in a large enough section and have access to the garden to give her lots of free space but let you live normally, while this is resolved?

This is not YOUR fault, never mind the dog. You're doing so much. But you're not able to cope with this frankly dangerous behaviour and must get immediate help. Today.

I may have missed it, but has she been check out by a vet? Have you heard of Rage Syndrome? I looked into cockers and saw this but wasn't sure how true it js or not, but wanted to share the link I had read.

www.doglistener.co.uk/aggression/cocker_rage.shtml

She is absolutely not suitable for a family with children. I wouldn’t even want a dog like that in an adult household. She needs re-homing, not trying to train her out of this type of behaviour for years with everyone getting bitten from time to time when you’re not expecting it. How can you even have visitors in your house? Back to the breeder or speak with your vet or animal rescue organisation.