Advice please - 11 month old cockapoo resource guarding becoming unmanageable

[Scarlet14]

@pleasedoone I've just been reading various threads as we're really at out wits end about our cockapoo and your message stood out as being a very similar situation to ours. We have a very beautiful cockapoo girl who's now 11 months old. We absolutely love her to bits and 90% of the time she's a total sweetheart - but she can also be very bad for resource guarding and it's getting pretty unmanageable. Things started to escalate a few months ago when she started getting snappy, snarly when we asked her to do things she didn't want to do or to let go of things and then things progressed to her biting me/the kids a few times with no obvious warning (i've since learnt a lot about dog behaviour and understand there may well have been subtle signs we didn't pick up on) which was unnerving. On one occasion she properly broke the skin and bit repetitively (just on me thankfully not the kids) We got a dog behaviourist involved pretty early on and she's brilliant and giving us lots of ideas on how to control the situation although she said from the off that given the severity of the situation it may be that we'd need to look at her living in a different environment/without kids etc. Implementing all the things she's suggested - no-one's been bitten for a few weeks - but we're also leading quite a restricted life. The dog's only allowed in one room (she started resource guarding various places around the house) no-one picks her up ever, the kids aren't allowed to cuddle her or put their faces at their level (they're 10 and 12 so are able to be pretty sensible although not all the time) & we're all pretty nervous around her all the time to be honest. You don't know if you're going to get waggy tail or snarl/snap. It can change in a second either way.

We thought we were on an equilibrium but the last few days things have really escalated again - she's started resource guarding the whole kitchen quite often, so we can't come in to make lunch/dinner etc (the behaviourist tells us to back off when she's like that and give her space) so we've been having food upstairs/watching tv upstairs etc. On one day she made it out of the kitchen by accident and set up camp in one of her spots in the hall and absolutely wouldn't let me come anywhere near - which meant i couldn't get back to my office to work - for over 3 hours. Tonight - she was dozy in the kitchen and i think i startled her and she just went for me - bit my foot hard a few times - i had big boots on so was fine but feel incredibly worried about what would have happened if that was one of the kids in their slippers. Half an hour later she did the same to my husband as he had to go into the kitchen to lock the door and despite entering very slowly with head down, no eye contact etc and him not actually approaching her at all, she came and went for him and bit his foot again. I can't bear the thought of her living elsewhere - i'm sure tomorrow morning she'll be waggy tail and our beautiful girl again - but it's really stressful living here at the moment and i'm worried for the kids and also post lockdown for the kids friends coming over - sure we can try and keep everyone separate but the whole point of having a dog was for the kids to be able to enjoy her. Any advice/thoughts gratefully received - we're all pretty stressed and can't think straight on it all anymore.

I haven't got any specific advice about your situation but I just wanted to say that our pup went through a fear aggression stage, aimed at our 12 year old son after being startled awake (he didn't bite but did snarl and snap). We worked through it thankfully but I know exactly how you're feeling. Its so stressful and upsetting especially when everyone loves the dog so much. Its awful not knowing what to do for the best and it makes homelike incredibly stressful. Its so sad when you don't get the lovely family dog you'd all dreamed of.

Certainly speak to the breeder. Just get her in on the conversations. You might feel quite relieved to have a back up plan in case you can't keep her. She may also have some experience or suggestions herself.

Best of luck.

Personally I would never keep a dog that’s shown aggression to family in the house, no exceptions.
It’s just not worth the risk.

Dogs are meant to be fun, this sounds anything but.

I would get a second opinion from another behaviourist. As the behaviour is escalating its showing whatever your doing currently is not working. Ask for an honest opinion of what you can expect behaviour wise from this dog long term (resource guarding is one of the hardest problems to fix) and then make some decisions as to what you want your life to look like for potentially the next 10+ years

Having an aggressive dog dictating your life is not fun. Happy walks do not make up for the stress. I’ve been there and never again.

This dog needs euthanising.
Without a a doubt.
You can’t keep her as sooner or later she will seriously injure someone and to rehome her, knowing she has these issues would absolutely disgusting

Have you joined the Dig Training Advice and Support FB group which is often recommended on here? They have really good resources and advice from qualified behaviourists and trainers

Where is she from - can you contact her breeder ? I'd be asking about her littermates - how are they doing? What were her mother and father's temperaments like?

Has she been vet checked for pain? Is she neutered?

Oh, OP, it's so hard. I'm with your husband on this one.

You cannot live like this. Puppies are incredibly hard work, but it absolutely shouldn't be like this. You cannot trust your dog and this would be bad enough in a house of adults, but with children? It's absolutely not workable. You cannot have a dog attacking you or your children or being held prisoner in your own home! You will never forgive yourself if this escalated further and one of your children was severely injured.

I agree with PPs in that you need to forget the behaviourist for now and speak to the breeder and also the vet in case there's some underlying problem causing her pain. However, I think that realistically you are going to have to consider letting her go. You can't rehome an aggressive dog and you cannot live like this. It's absolutely not normal behaviour.

If you have seen a qualified behaviourist the dog will have been vet checked?

Go back to the behavourist for advice they can advise you, Noone on the internet can give you the correct advice.

If not happy with your behaviourists get a second opinion.

Is the behavourist qualified to degree standard?

Resource guarding is a tricky one and does need careful professional advice.

tbh I doubt that the breeder can help with training in this situation

If I was the breeder though I would definitely want to know one of my puppies was in this situation, especially if it potentially flagged up an issue with the rest of the litter or the breeding lines etc. I'd also want to know if the owner was considering rehoming a dangerous dog, or euthanasia.
I don't see how the OP could pursue either of those routes without first informing the breeder, who hopefully will take her back.

This situation sounds horrific. She's bitten all of you repeatedly, unprovoked, you can't walk freely round your own house, and are not even able to go into your own kitchen to cook or eat. You are all literally being held prisoner by your own dog. Your children have been bitten. You won't be able to have any visitors - especially not children.

Seriously, how can you not see what the right thing to do is?

@BigWolfLittleWolf

This dog needs euthanising. Without a a doubt. You can’t keep her as sooner or later she will seriously injure someone and to rehome her, knowing she has these issues would absolutely disgusting

Absolutely agree.

I have a cocker spaniel and went through similar with him at that age although not quite as extreme. Things which helped us were:
Baby gates - we had them on the downstairs doors. As soon as the nasty behaviour started we would all leave the room and shut the dog behind the gate. This was repeated as many times as necessary until the behaviour stopped.
Toys were always swapped, never just taken away, either for a higher value toy, a treat or just a fuss.
Food - we would all drop extras in his bowl while he was eating so he associated us with extra food and not a threat.
He was a nightmare on the lead, snapping at feet and trying to bite legs. As soon as this started, we’d drop the lead and tread on it so it was fairly short. Arms folded and no eye contact until he calmed down.
He is still a little unpredictable at times but the above has made his behaviour manageable.
Another thing is they will pick up on your mood. If you are scared then that will have a knock on effect.
There is absolutely nothing wrong though with walking away if you’ve reached a point where you can’t tolerate this behaviour any more.

Our dog resource guarded and we worked with a behaviourist until he was around 90% cured. If it hadn’t improved or he had ever properly bitten anyone we would have tried to rehome him via a breed rescue or if that failed pts
You sound like you have an extreme case and with children involved it’s just too dangerous and the dog is probably pretty unhappy too. Try a specialist rescue, you may find someone with a child free home prepared to put a lot of work in but if not you may have to consider pts
It’s not nice but certainly not the worst thing that can happen to a dog

Ive been where you are with our first dog, i ended up rehoming him with my dog sitter who had jack russells (& no children) and seemed able to manage him better.
i was totally broken hearted, like you we worked so hard from the day we got him and with a brilliant behaviourist from the first incident of agression but we ended up tiptoeing round him and all scared and more importantly all at risk of a bite.

Several months after rehoming him we got a rescue lurcher - the softest, sweetest natured dog ever who we all adore, with hindsight I feel nothing for the dog we let go, except a slight sense of wondering why we out up with such appalling and unpredictable behaviour from him.

In your situation pts might be the best option, you have done your best by him, it doesn't sound like he can be fixed.
Do not blame yourselves.

We had to re-home a puppy like that when I was a teenager. We were all a bit scared of her and frankly it was a relief when she was gone. We re-homed her with a behaviourist so it didn’t feel like we were being irresponsible. When we got our next puppy we wondered why we had put up with the dreadful behaviour for so long. Ultimately you have to do what’s right for your kids and sadly, I think that means re-homing if you can do so responsibly. I don’t know if I could put a healthy dog down... I would certainly explore all other avenues first but keeping her wouldn’t be an option.

If you do decide to rehome, Spaniel Aid is an amazing rescue charity. They work with dogs with behaviour issues and they will place dogs in long term foster homes if they are not suitable for rehoming. They are an extremely responsible rescue charity.

I think in your shoes I would look for another behaviourist for a second opinion. You’ve tried the things the first one suggested and nothing has changed. If the second one suggests the same things you know the problem is the dog rather than the training ideas. And in the meantime - could you muzzle the dog? It might sound harsh but if it saves any of you from being bitten that’s a plus for both you and the dog.

My sisters cockapoo is the same, I started a thread about it a while ago. Her dog has also escalated to the point he is muzzled almost constantly. Things came to a head when he bit the vet a couple of months ago and drew blood. Sorry no advice but I know what you're going through.

Thanks everyone - really appreciate all the ideas and the suggestions. I had a chat with the breeder today who was helpful but couldn't offer any new ideas and isn't in a position to take her back if we decide we can't keep her. The behaviourist is suggesting some other things so we'll try that and see if it helps, whilst exploring rehoming options.

@Scarlet14

Thanks everyone - really appreciate all the ideas and the suggestions. I had a chat with the breeder today who was helpful but couldn't offer any new ideas and isn't in a position to take her back if we decide we can't keep her. The behaviourist is suggesting some other things so we'll try that and see if it helps, whilst exploring rehoming options.

Did you ask about sibling behaviour?

How is the behaviour of her parents?
Tbh the breeder doesn't sound great if they're quite happy to cash in on puppies but not to be responsible for them

@Scarlet14

Thanks everyone - really appreciate all the ideas and the suggestions. I had a chat with the breeder today who was helpful but couldn't offer any new ideas and isn't in a position to take her back if we decide we can't keep her. The behaviourist is suggesting some other things so we'll try that and see if it helps, whilst exploring rehoming options.

Does your behaviourist come with accreditation? Have they seen the behaviour in person (or via video) or just given remote advice? I do think it sounds extreme and not a situation where persevering is a great plan and I wonder at the advice you’re getting from professionals.

When you explore rehoming options you need a very good charity that is committed to only rehoming to well vetted homes that are suitable and owners given the full history.

Because if you rehome this dog without proper care and due diligence it could be a big tragedy waiting to happen for some unfortunate person. You must take extreme care.

Also - what does your vet say/advise?

whilst exploring rehoming options
🤦🏻‍♀️
You CANNOT rehome a dog like this FFS!
It’s utterly irresponsible.

whilst exploring rehoming options

You simply can't, in good conscious, rehome this dog to anyone unless they are an extremely experienced behaviourist who deals with violent dogs.

I second the dog training advice and support page on FB recommended upthread. You’ll get much better advice on there (from accredited behaviourists) than here.

Good luck. Sounds like a really horrible situation for you all.

There are specialist rescues who can work with dog rehab.
The current situation shouldn't be the end of the road for this young dog.