Anyone up? I think Ddog is dying

[InTropicalTrumpsLand]

I've often wanted to create threads about Ddog. She's 15, a Lhasa Apso, in chronic pain due to arthritis. This year things felt like they were finally working out - we found an orthopedist who finally seemed to know what was going on, and there's a blood analysis at the capital (I'm in a third world country) to confirm a diagnosis that would mean treatment.

Since Friday things just got bad and worse. Non stop barking, unquietness, lots of pain. She was put on a heavy dosis of opioids to manage. She was mainly fine today, and I thought, it's getting better, finally... Well, we gave her her nightly medicine and she just lost control of her intestines, pooped everywhere, and finally managed to sleep. She's breathing, but I can't help but think this is the end.

Just this morning, after another sleepless night, I once again thought about PTS, or even just get her in a vet ICU for monitoring. But she's the family dog and I'm the daughter, so I don't have much power regardings such decision. Now I'm dreading checking on her during the night and finding her dead, even though I know, I know that it would be the best for her.

I'm just not ready... I wish she would just progressively get weaker until she passed, not like this, so loudly and so fast. I won't try to prolong her life when she's in pain like this, but I really, really need some support.

It just feels really unfair, just like with my grandmother and uncle, who finally started responding to treatment before passing. How do I go to bed, not knowing what to wake up to? I feel so powerless.

I’m so sorry, what a heartbreaking read

Maybe sit with her through the night if you’re comfortable enough to do so. She’ll appreciate you being there, she loves you

So Sorry To Hear This, This Is So Sad 😔 Sending Lots of Love ❤

It’s probably the opioids, I have a lab who can’t tolerate any meds for his arthritis.
She’s an extremely good age for any dog and if she’s in pain and has trouble standing and moving etc it may be kinder to let her go.
I’d ring the vet when you can, I’m sorry to read this.

I wish I could sit with her, but I'm terrified of everything. Why? I was always the brave one. The one who immobilised her for X-rays, take to the multiple vet appointments (gods, I must have taken her to at least a dozen this year) the one who was sure to stay in the room if she needed to be PTS. I can't believe what a coward I'm being. What if I go to the living room and she's already gone?

Ok - just checked on her, she's breathing and seems to be awake. Did settle me some. At this point I don't know what to hope for.

I second what @cerseii said. Take a deep breath, be brave and go be with her. You're her human and she would want you with her, whether this is her last night or not. Sending hugs to you and ear scratches to your lovely ddog, it's so very sad.

Awww, good to hear she’s awake!

Yes, give her lots of cuddles, a back scratch, make sure she’s comfy etc. There’s not much you can do at this very moment other than enjoy the time you have with her. She’ll appreciate you being nearby so she’s not going through it alone. You’ll calm her down

I'm sorry for your troubles. Our. Beloved cat died a few weeks ago. We knew she was very ill with lymphoma but remained high spirited, happy and very mobile for months. One Sunday, in a period of maybe 5 hrs she went downhill and died beside me. She started to visibly suffer so she actually died when we were on the phone to the emergency vets. She didn't want to be touched too much, but she definitely needed me beside her. I told her it was OK to go and thankfully she did.

Please don't let the animal suffer to save someone's feelings. Be there as a source of comfort. If the dog has a toilet incident you can clean it straight away. They still need their dignity. There's nothing to be scared of. If the dog passes away then the dog passes away. Be respectful, wrap him in a Blanket and place somewhere cool.

Sorry to be blunt, I'm bawling now. Please don't leave the dog alone.

Much love and strength ♥

Sorry to read this and I hope that you can find the strength to cope. 💐
I agree with those who are saying be near her if you can.
She will benefit from hearing your voice and from your touch, as well as seeing and smelling you.
I think it was the one of the hardest and one of the the best things I have done, to sit with my own dying dog.

I was 16 when I sat, alone, when DDog died. She had worsened through the night and I’m glad I was there in the morning. It wasn’t scary, but it was sad, but as I stroked her head I calmed her. I’m sorry for what you’re going through.

Hows the doggy?

Hi, everyone. Ddog is alive, and apparently better than she was yesterday. Not that it means much - she always seems better during the day, and goes downhill at night. She's currently napping but she ate, drank and seems her normal self.
Today I had some difficult conversations regarding PTS or extending her life further. Due to her breathing yesterday (gasping really) we were urged to take her to the cardiologist again. Except not a single specialist vet, even in emergency, 24h ones, are open on Sundays, so we we're waiting until tomorrow for more exams.
Our current guess was that the pooping was due to a sedative she took for the first time yesterday (acepromazine, which the vets said was the only thing worth trying at this point, as there's no more pain medication she can take seeing as she's already taking everything). We got some disposable pads to put in her bed so if accidents happen again, the aftermath won't be so messy.
I feel so embarrassed about how I reacted last night, even though I am absolutely terrified about how she will sleep tonight. And if she's fine, what then? Just wait until she gets worse again?
At least we will be able to talk to her vets tomorrow. Depending on how she is, we will cancel her physiotherapy, though I hope she manages to go - her physiotherapist is amazing and in constant contact with her vets (who are amazing, other than the fact they absolutely disappear on weekends).
Thanks very much for the support, everyone. I'll keep you updated.

Bless your heart. Don't feel embarrassed, it's not an easy thing.. No one teaches you what to do.

It's difficult when pets are ill. When considering if a pet needs put to sleep, you really need to ask yourselves some honest questions about the dogs current state and quality of life. Where is the line?

Ziva had a huge tumor which grew very very quickly. She was still a mad as a box of frogs. She ate loads purred a lot, was her crazy self, was very mobile., lay around in boxes and all her favourite places. She was in my arms a lot every day getting cuddles. I really miss that, she would follow me to pick her up.

We watched her like a hawk. She was a little grumpy and lost a lot of weight but was extremely happy and never showed distress or discomfort until that last day.

I think our line was when she stopped being herself. Had her back legs gone, or if she wasn't able to breathe easily or was clearly in distress, that's not ok. If someone you never met came into your house and met the dog, how would they view it?

Your thoughts need to come from a place of the dogs welfare, not its owners feelings. I would have a good chat with the vet, be honest. Make notes if you need to. Any good very should honestly guide you.

Our vet offered to remove zivas tumour, we didn't feel that was fair. That was trying to keep her alive for us, so we gave her meds to keep ger comfortable.

This happened with an old cat I had lived to 23. Over years she had strokes and seizures in front of me but I always managed to nurse her back to life. Then one day, she couldn't get down the step into the kitchen. She was put to sleep within 24hrs.

I have to go now, I'm crying again.

Sorry for my bluntness. Keep us posted, keep the dog company.

Sorry I meant to say when we told the vet we didn't want surgery, she said she agreed it wouldn't be fair or for her benefit. Just because animals can get treatment it doesn't mean they should 💔

@Myshitisreal that’s a really good post for anyone in this situation.
Thinking of you OP xxx

The near end of a ddog's life ime is very scarey. You need them to tell you how they feel... They need you just to be there and make the decision they can't...
Hoping you find that strength op.

Thanks @noproblem123

I once went to a friends house and their dog was in the worst state I've ever seen. It had gone blind and was always walking into things, his eyes were covered in cataracts, he couldn't get up on the sofa and had a myriad of medical issues. I can honestly say my friends were keeping the dog alive for their own needs. It was incredibly upsetting. The dog constantly barked as well, just unhappy and undignified. I'm not saying that's how ops dog is. But it's definitely a way of trying to see things objectively.

Im far too invested in the thread, I'm checking a lot to see if there's been a reply. I understand the difficulties, heartache and feelings involved ♥

How's the dog keeping? ♥

Please don't leave your dear loyal lovely little dog alone at night, she needs the comfort of your company so much right now. I hope the vet helps you make the decision to let her go peacefully, she is an old dog and it sounds as if she is suffering and needs a kind end. Sending you strength OP

Hey everyone, sorry I vanished. Lots of ups and downs since I updated.
Initially, Ddog seemed to really bounce up after this scare. She started on some immunomodulators... and we imediately felt the effects: severe ear infection (antibiotics for 21 days) and since Friday, a severe skin infection (other antibiotics for 7 days). Not the nicest birthday, but hey, at least I finally submitted my research grant that week.
She also seems increasingly more disoriented.
DM quietly informed she's being sick from the new antibiotics, which we were told was a possibility (but obviously not good, seeing as we head for the final treatment, and if that doesn't work, well...). She also quietly remarked Ddog isn't the same anymore.
It's obvious Ddog isn't that puppy I fell in love with all those years ago. It's been obvious for a few years now.
I can say, hand on my heart, that if she were mine and not the family's ddog, I would've PTS her around 2018. Last year at the latest.
But she's the family dog, and like I said in my OP, I'm the daughter (never mind that my life sciences degree actually enables me to understand far more than my parents). So it isn't my call, much as I wish it were.
DM mentioned she's just waiting for a sign now. Frustrating as it is, that's a big step for her - she follows a religion in which "the spirit knows when to depart, and not a moment sooner". I suggested to her maybe Ddog's already given us a sign. She admitted she's afraid of that.
I know that this is a drastic turn from my OP, but I just feel so tired. This month, Ddog didn't go a single week without a visit to the vets. Every visit shows something else wrong with her. Off the top of my head, she has no epidermis to speak off, absolutely no sinovial articulations up to her hips and shoulders, chronic intestinal inflammation, and Cushing's. I feel like the signals couldn't be clearer.

So sorry, op

This is very sad. Ok. Can you push it a little bit more? Someone needs to be pushing for the dogs best interests and welfare . I know it's difficult. Have there been any conversations with the vet regarding the dogs wellbeing and whether it's time to pts? Surely your mum would listen to the vets recommendation?

@Myshitisreal

This is very sad. Ok. Can you push it a little bit more? Someone needs to be pushing for the dogs best interests and welfare . I know it's difficult. Have there been any conversations with the vet regarding the dogs wellbeing and whether it's time to pts? Surely your mum would listen to the vets recommendation?

Agreed. Sounds like your DDog is really suffering and I would be trying to have a further conversation with your mum as it's not fair on the dog

Have you accompanied them to the vets OP ?