I've often wanted to create threads about Ddog. She's 15, a Lhasa Apso, in chronic pain due to arthritis. This year things felt like they were finally working out - we found an orthopedist who finally seemed to know what was going on, and there's a blood analysis at the capital (I'm in a third world country) to confirm a diagnosis that would mean treatment.
Since Friday things just got bad and worse. Non stop barking, unquietness, lots of pain. She was put on a heavy dosis of opioids to manage. She was mainly fine today, and I thought, it's getting better, finally... Well, we gave her her nightly medicine and she just lost control of her intestines, pooped everywhere, and finally managed to sleep. She's breathing, but I can't help but think this is the end.
Just this morning, after another sleepless night, I once again thought about PTS, or even just get her in a vet ICU for monitoring. But she's the family dog and I'm the daughter, so I don't have much power regardings such decision. Now I'm dreading checking on her during the night and finding her dead, even though I know, I know that it would be the best for her.
I'm just not ready... I wish she would just progressively get weaker until she passed, not like this, so loudly and so fast. I won't try to prolong her life when she's in pain like this, but I really, really need some support.
It just feels really unfair, just like with my grandmother and uncle, who finally started responding to treatment before passing. How do I go to bed, not knowing what to wake up to? I feel so powerless.